Matters Of The Heart
by LoveLiveLaugh96
Summary: Victoria and Lord Melbourne cannot hide their affections for each other. Together the pair set off on what is bound to be a difficult journey involving secrecy, love, trials and tests. Slow burn with a thick plot. Rated M for eventual smut and violence.
1. Conflict Of Feelings

Matters of The Heart

 _ **I have been a huge fan of this pairing from the start. An idea has been floating about and I figured there was no harm in indulging it. I have taken references from the past and present series; the storylines will intertwine. The rating is more located for the future. Any references towards the show are not owned by me.**_

''Im sorry to of bothered you'' Victoria looked down at their intertwined hands. She did not wish to let go.  
''Not at all ma'am, please never think of any of our encounters are bothersome to me'' He smiled softly at her, trying to give her some comfort.  
''Goodbye Lord M'' Releasing her hands from his the young queen turned around and made her way up the track in which she came.

Lord Melbourne watched her disappear from view, before looking down at his feet and letting out a huge sigh. He felt terrible. His heart ached as much as hers probably did. What a stupid thing to do, he relayed the conversation over in his head, pacing round the small area like a lost sheep. He felt terribly regretful, obviously he had her best interests at heart, but seeing the young queen he admired so greatly to be so disappointed that her affections where turned down.. and with his own feelings being so strong for her. _It was in her best interests_ he kept telling himself, however it didn't make him feel any better.

 _I know that when you give your heart it will be without reservation, but you cannot give it to me, for I have no use for it you see._

I believe you already have it.

Her words rang in his ears.

''And you have mine'' he spoke aloud to himself, he placed his hands in his pockets and made his way up the same track towards his beloved hall.

Victoria looked at her own reflection in the mirror, wondering what it was that put off the only man she had true affection for. She could still feel the emotion so raw inside of her. Her night had been near sleepless, the queen dreaded seeing the priminister today. She felt the lump in her throat swell as she relayed their conversation the previous day. She must have read their encounters incorrectly. She was certain that their friendship was enjoyed so much on both parts, maybe she had been wrong. Tears began to form in her eyes as she blinked them back. There was a knock at the door before Mrs Skerrett entered, bowing before the queen.

''I am here to prepare you for breakfast your majesty''  
''Yes of course'' Victoria's voice was laced with held back tears, she cleared her throat before allowing the dresser to prepare her for the day.

The table of ladies picked up on the queens lowered mood almost immediately. Victoria picked at her breakfast as best as she could before she glanced at the clock.  
''I suspect Lord Melbourne will be here ready to start with the boxes''  
The duchess eyed her speculatively but said nothing, the other ladies stood whilst the queen left the room and made her way to where her beloved priminister usually waited for her. One part of her wanted to see him. To try to repatch their relationship, and the other part of her wished to run away like the young girl that she was and avoid the subject completely.

As she walked down the corridor and entered the room there stood her dear friend beside the fire, he looked up to see her and smiled warmly towards her. She smiled back in return, but felt it forced.  
''Good morning ma'am'' Lord Melbourne walked over towards her, bending down on one knee he kissed her hand before rising again. ''I trust you are well''

''Yes, thankyou Lord M'' Victoria spoke in a quiet but rather short manner. ''Is there anything that requires our urgent attention today?'' The queen made her way over to her seat.

''Nothing other than a few signatures although I fear there is a problem arising in France regarding the pressure of marriage, but nothing that has arisen officially yet''

''I feel any member of a royal family in any country is pressured into marriage. It seems a tradition'' The queen looked down at her papers, knowing the lord was able to take the hint.

''Would it help to talk of our private conversation ma'am'' Lord Melbourne brought the topic of conversation up carefully.

The queen looked up at her friend with clear sadness in her expression. ''I do not wish for anything to change Lord M, I was foolish to bring up such a matter of the heart. I understand this. But I had to make my feelings clear to you, even if they were not reciprocated in the way I would have liked''

''Ma'am I must say that I did not wish to do so in such a way to upset you'' He fell silent, unable to find the correct words to cover his honesty towards her. The worry that he would hurt her further by lying to her was putting too much guilt on his shoulders.

''I simply cannot be without you Lord M, if it means I have to contain my feelings for you then so be it. But I need you by my side''

''I shall never leave you ma'am'' He spoke with true honesty in his voice, it settled the queen's nerves slightly.

The rest of the morning slipped by with little conversation. The queen read and signed her papers, complying with what Lord Melbourne suggested and not questioning it. She grew restless by the passing hour; the blissful autumn sunshine was beating through the windows. Leaving her chair, the queen walked over to the window, looking over the grounds, changing colour with the passing seasons. It is a beautiful time of year.

''I fancy a good ride'' The statement got a hold of the lord's attention.

''Im sorry ma'am?'' He turned to face her.

''Do you wish to join me? It's almost a tradition of its own''

''Of course ma'am, shall I meet you down the stables?''

''Indeed, Lord M'' She smiled as she went to prepare for riding.

The smell of the horses in the cooling air immediately cleared her troubled mind. Victoria loved being outside just as much as Lord M did. They shared many common interests. She felt a pang of regret as she realised that their once much-loved friendship could be at stake here.  
The stable boy helped her to mount before assisting the lord himself.

They both set off in the direction of the woods. The sound of the horse's hooves on the crisp autumn leaves was rather therapeutic in the comfortable silence the two riders sat in.

''Do you feel you are experienced in matters of the heart Lord M?'' Her question broke the silence, but it shocked him to hear her say such a thing so bluntly

''I don't think anyone is ever educated enough, the heart has a mind of its own. You follow it because your instinct tells you to do so. But it doesn't always end in the way your heart desires'' He spoke his mind then, it felt good to be truthful towards her again.

Victoria heard the truth in his words, she felt he was saying these things in reflection of their conversation. But she then realised the age difference, and the life experience on his part was playing to the statements advantage. ''Do you regret any decisions you have made in matters of the heart?''

''To this very day ma'am'' He saw her face turn towards his. His eyes where filled with regret, his expression almost mirrored her own as she watched her reflection this morning in the mirror. But rather than filling the assumption with hope, it only clouded her mind in confusion.

''You confuse me Lord M''

''Whilst you amaze me ma'am''  
A hint of a sparkle in his eye, he dug his heels into his horse and the pair cantered blissfully down the woven track. Forgetting about their problems and their whereabouts. The couple continued side by side until they were deep within the forest. The track began to narrow down and the riders pulled their horses back to a walk.

''I love this track'' The queen spoke through the deep breaths. ''Its rather magical don't you think?'' Her spirits had lifted, and it appeared the lords had to.

They both looked back. Not a guard or a chaperone in sight. They were on their own completely, secluded from their stressful world even if it wasn't for very long.

''It is one of my favourites'' he agreed whole heartedly.  
The track widened to an open area, the pond centred in the middle was alive with golden leaves floating along the water... the fountain based in the middle of the pond spurted the water down its sides and kept the crystal clear water moving around the circular base. Victoria dismounted her horse allowing it to graze on the lush grass that was thriving under the warm sunlight, the place was a place of tranquil beauty. The lord watched her walk over to the ponds stoned edge before dismounting himself and following.

''Don't you just wish you could leave all your problems somewhere, and just allow your mind to escape from everything that's bothering you'' The queen spoke honestly in the quiet setting, resting herself on the stone edge as she turned to face her friend. She gestured for him to come and sit beside her.

''All the time ma'am, I don't think ordinary people realise just how trying such a life can be. But no matter what class your in, or how the hierarchy appears, everybody has problems, dreams, demons, and not one person is able to escape them. Of course a monarch probably has more trying problems. I will never not admire your strength when other prove to put you down'' He looked into her eyes honestly.

Victoria found it hard to look away from his expressions sometimes. She felt if she looked deep enough into his eyes she would find the answers to many of her unspoken questions.

''Forgive me Lord M, but I get the hint of regret in your voice from our conversation'' Victoria looked down at her hands still clothed in her riding gloves.

''Yes ma'am, you are correct'' His eyes met hers almost as soon as the question was answered, he continued ''My own feelings where not shown enough towards you, I made you feel as though you had been rejected through your gesture, it unsettled me deeply to of made you feel like this. It was not my intention, you and your safety are what gives me the only piece of mind. I would of never given you up if I had any other choice. But I felt it was my duty to comply with what others suspected''

''I feel as though others rule my life enough. Whilst I feel safe and trusted with your guidance I also feel so much more for you Lord M'' The statement caused the tears to form as her voice began to break. ''And I was terrified that I was going to loose you''

''I felt as though my affection was not worthy of yours. I am hardly the man you deserve to spend the rest of your life with, but I would never leave you. You gave me a reason to continue when nothing else came close, I am unsure as to what I would now do without you even if I was only your priminister''

''My affection is not worthy of yours'' Victoria looked back down at the water bobbing in its own rhythm, the lord's head shot up as he watched her with a shocked expression.

''I never wished to make you feel that way Ma'am''

''I feel the confusion of this all is worse than the feeling of being rejected Lord M. I wish to marry someone for love, not for the convenience of my throne or how my family will approve'' The queen moved closer to the lord to get his attention.

''Do you have any feelings for me Lord M, I wish to know the truth'' Victoria looked into his eyes and this time could read the panic and turmoil he was dealing with.

''I would prefer not to answer ma'am''

''Then show me'' The queen shuffled closer to the lord. If you desire me as I do you then show me. If you do not then stand and walk away. The threat of what she just proposed became very real. Victoria felt a strong sickness feeling in the pit of her stomach at the idea of him walking away from her. But the feeling of not knowing his true feelings overcame the fear of him leaving her. She had faith that his answer would ring true to her own assumptions.

''Do I have to ask for permission ma'am?'' he asked cautiously

''No'' The queen spoke confidently.

The lord sat quietly for a moment before slowly rising to his feet. Victoria's face fell immediately. What a fool she had been, now their friendship would never be the same.  
Lord Melbourne's hand dragged her out of her thoughts as he pulled her to stand with him. He wrapped his hand around her waist and encouraged her to step forwards even closer into his frame. The young queen looked up into his eyes properly this time. Her own emotions she was sure would be clear for him to read in such proximity. It was then that the Lord lowered his head and his lips met hers with a slow and tender kiss, the queen melted into his frame immediately, a mix of emotions ran through her body, some of which she was unable to describe or name, but a huge one was a wave of relief as her dear Lord M made his feelings clear to her.

Victoria wrapped her arms around his neck as she pulled herself into his frame more, his hands remained pressed at the small of her back, preventing her from pulling away as he deepened the kiss. She felt his teeth grasp onto her bottom lip causing her to gasp, the lord took advantage of the queen's surprise as his tongue began exploring her mouth. He swallowed her moans as she to began to mirror his actions.

The lord pushed her back gently until the backs of her legs where pressed against the stone wall of the pond. She felt the him press his weight into her further, she matched his actions with as much passion as he did. The passion lost the pairing completely, he found something awoken in him he since long had forgotten. His resolve was starting just to crack before remembering himself and his whereabouts. He pulled away sharply from her and took a step back. The queen and the lord stood facing each other panting rather un mannerly.

''Im very sorry to of treated you like that ma'am'' Melbourne immediately realised that he had been rougher with her than he had intended.

''Nonsense Lord M'' The queen spoke quickly through her gasping breaths, her legs felt as if they would give way at any point, feeling for the back of the surface she slipped down and sat on the frame of the pond once more, trying to control her racing heart. ''Your actions where much desired, why did you stop so suddenly?''

''I may not of been able to had I of kept going'' The husk in his voice sent shivers down the young queen's spine, he did desire her just as much as she did him. The lord however was in turmoil. He obeyed her order of honestly expressing his true feelings. But it was a scandal surely? A priminister and personal secretary with the queen of England, what would the Tory's say, what would her family and possible suitors say.

The lord was smart enough to know that without being honest from the beginning the scandal would be looked badly upon indeed. He did not wish to tarnish the queen's reputation based on his owns desires towards her.

''I fear ma'am that we may have taken our company a step to far'' The queen looked up from her hands. Her mind deep in thought, she suddenly looked rather shocked and above all, worried.

''I understand that this is not something my kingdom would look greatly upon, and I know it would be classed as scandal if we were to be together without telling others and the public. But I feel very strongly about you Lord M.  
The desires of whom I should marry are being pressured onto me. But I am not ready to marry yet. It is always at the organisation of others. It is forced and I cannot stand it. Despite being queen my mother and Sir John try to run nearly everything about my ruling. I refuse to marry a suitor only after my status. I wish to marry for love and break the tradition, when the time is right of course''

Her words were spoken very strongly. Every inch of him wanted to take this as far as it would go. He loved her implicitly, he wanted to be her companion as well as her friend. Turning her down again would ruin him as a man.

''I only wish for you to take me home'' Victoria suddenly felt very cold at the distance he had put between them.

Lord Melbourne walked to the pond and sat down beside her, she turned to face him and he took her hands in his. She saw the sight and immediately thought of that awful day at brocket hall, being turned down of her affections. She suddenly felt very young and foolish compared to him. His calm demeanour and tones would show through the years of experience he had behind him.

Victoria braced herself for the let-down.  
''You are aware of my own desires for you ma'am'' She looked into his eyes and nodded slowly, unable to speak. ''And you are fully aware of the risks such a companionship as mine would expose to your kingdom''

''I have taken these thoughts into great consideration Lord M, im sure you know I have not gone into this lightly''

''The truth is, above all of the added extras to your life and ruling…you have my heart. And I know that whatever happens on our journeys, whoever comes up, you always will''

Victoria noted the saddening expression on his face, it clouded her own inner joy with something more threatening. ''Is there something you're not telling me Lord M?'' She asked cautiously.

''Nothing that I don't know ma'am, but that is the problem. The mind over thinks things in such situations''

''I do not believe that any matter of the heart is easy Lord M, going along with such deliberations in your head will drive you mad. I feel it's always best to look at the present, and enjoy what is before us''

The Lord eyed the queen carefully. He saw such power and determination in this young woman. He was well aware that everything he was doing was wrong in the eyes of others. But marrying for love is no longer a tradition, it's not given the time it deserves. He knew that he was prepared to stand by her and support her as he always did. But this time as something more.  
Wherever this road took the pair of them, he would be there beside her.

''Do you trust me Ma'am?''

''With my life Lord M'' She smiled at him before placing her head on his shoulder, watching the two horses happily grazing still.

 _I hope it never comes to that._ The Lord thought to himself.

''Do I really have your heart?'' She asked, almost afraid of your answer.

''You always have ma'am, I was a fool to turn you away'' He kissed the top of her head softly and the pair sat in comfortable silence once more.

 _ **The difficult setting during the series was easy to watch and connect with, but when writing this it proved very hard to portray, I most likely didn't do this justice. But I want to propose the difficult but not impossible tasks that the young queen may of faced if she had followed her heart at that time. The blossoming relationship will involve difficult trials and tests, I will try my hardest to stay relevant with the time this was set in but I am no history fanatic so If im wrong in any way please do not hold it against me. I hope you enjoyed reading. More chapters will be uploaded in time.**_


	2. Bad Influence

**Bad Influences**

 _ **Sorry for such a long chapter. I own nothing. Enjoy**_ **.**

Victoria's eyes fluttered open as the sunlight reached her face through the window. Adjusting to the sudden daylight she sat herself up in bed. Lehzen stood beside her bed and bowed respectively towards her.  
''Morning your majesty, I trust you slept well''

''Very well thank you Lehzen'' Victoria smiled at her house keeper 

''Mrs Skerrett will be in soon to dress you for breakfast ma'am'' Replied the house keeper before bowing again and leaving the room. 

Victoria slipped out of bed and put on her dressing gown. She caught her reflection in her mirror. Today was a very important day. The anticipation was heavy in the air as the queen stepped out onto the balcony to admire the palace grounds. The cold morning air hit her lungs as she inhaled.

-

Whilst Victoria sat patiently having her hair done for the day the palace was alive with hectic actitives. The ball room was being prepared for the coronation ball. Housekeepers arranging the room in perfect harmony, working around the keepers polishing the floor and setting the candles on top of the chandeliers.

''What such fuss just for the royal families to come and meet their queen with a crown on top of her head'' Muttered Mrs Jenkins from the side.

''Its' not just meeting the queen, im sure her family have lined up some possible suitors for her'' Brodie said, stepping down from placing the countless candles in their frame.

''I feel bad for the queen, why can she not just enjoy her ball'' Mrs Skerrett said from behind them. Mrs Jenkins turned towards her co-worker.

''Come on, we must start repairing those stockings'' The two ladies left the room. Brodie's eyes lit up as an idea popped into his head.

-

The ladies all sat around the table for breakfast.

''Are you looking forward to your coronation ball ma'am?'' Asked Emma in a friendly manner  
''I am very much looking forward to it Emma'' Victoria went to pick up her tea cup. 

''I know I will have Lord M by my side also, this will calm my nerves'' She spoke honestly. The duchess eyed her carefully whilst her ladies sat around smiling warmly at each other.

''As long as you do not slip up during the dances Drina'' Her mother eyed her from the other end of the table, the ladies all looked at their breakfast as the atmosphere changed.

''Thank-you for that Mama'' The queen gave her mother a cold look as she took a sip of her tea.

''You have some possible suitors coming to the ball tonight'' Her mother continued ''They are all fantastic subjects in which to consider marriage'' 

''I do not recall giving my permission'' Victoria looked across the room, the ladies continued to eye each other in discreet fashion.

''Me and Sir John feel there will be some suitors worthy of your affections at the ball tonight''

''Of course, you and Sir John only have my best interests at heart do you not mama'' Victoria stood from her seat, all her ladies stood along with her mother, as Victoria made to leave the table her ladies followed behind her, but her mother, turned a different direction.

''Why does she have the right to dictate who I am to dance with and meet at this ball, I wished to enjoy my coronation ball, not be a subject to other people's desires'' Her anger was mixed with torn emotion. Her and Lord Melbourne had not seen each other for 3 days since their encounter they had at the pond.  
Victoria had thought carefully about that day over and over. Her hand lightly traced over her lips, remembering the feel of him on her. Why was it so complicated? She wanted nothing more than to shout to her mother that her suitor had been found.

''The Duchess just wants what's best for you Ma'am'' Emma could see the queens distress.

''But why tonight, of all nights does she have to force men onto me?'' The queen could not control her anger. Emma felt for the young girl. She was only 17 years old and having marriage forced upon her along with so many other duties must be a heavy weight to bare.

''You are not forced to choose anyone'' Emma sat down beside the queen. ''Just dance with the subjects and treat them respectfully, you are not required to choose anyone tonight'' Victoria looked at her friend carefully before smiling.  
''You are right Emma. Thank you'' She placed her hands on Emma's squeezing them tightly. ''I need to see Lord M, I expect he is waiting for me with the boxes.

''I will ask Lehzen now ma'am'' Emma stood with her ladies and left the queen in her chambers alone for a moment.

Lehzen knocked on the door before entering. ''Im sorry ma'am but Lord Melbourne cannot attend this morning, he has some business at the house he needs to attend to''  
Victoria felt as if she had all the words knocked out of her, is he avoiding her? Would he be here for the ball?

''Thank you Lehzen'' The queen stood and walked over to the window. She had a few hours before her coronation ball, she had hoped that Lord M would have been here to steady her nerves beforehand. Victoria's mind searched for answers. She had not laid eyes on him since they had that encounter at the pond. Had she said something to upset him? Or maybe he was regretting his choice. Victoria was well aware of how complicated things could be and what a scandal it would become if someone leaked it to the papers, not to mention the political side of things.

 _I shall go out for a ride_ she thought to herself. She needed to steady her anxiety, was it anxiety or excitement about the pending events, she could not tell, her worry that Lord M would not show was panicking her. She remembered that first day when she met the privy council. How he whispered their names into her ear, that comfort she felt when she was about to give her speech and she instinctively looked to him for that reassurance, rather than her family. She needed him there today.

''Lehzen'' She called, the house keeper walked in bowing respectively.

''I wish to go riding'' She spoke with confidence.

-

Victoria was pacing in her green room beside the fire place when Emma knocked at the door and entered, she bowed before the queen before asking

''What can I assist you with ma'am?''

''Please Emma, sit down'' Victoria sat in a seat opposite to where Emma seated herself ''I need to know, truthfully if everything is ok with Lord M '' Victoria could see the worry on Emma's face when she asked the question. It filled her with worry herself. 

''I believe he is quite well ma'am, he is just very busy'' The queen stood and began pacing again

''He has not been here for a few days now, I feel I may of done something to offend him, I am concerned that he will not be there for the coronation ball'' Victoria had hoped that the statement didn't give anything away.

''He holds your friendship very close to his heart ma'am, if there was anything that was bothering him he would have told you im sure'' Emma tried to reassure her.

In this instance her age was showing, she was new to being a queen and more educated in this than being someone's companion or lover. But now she wanted him as a friend, even just for tonight, for the support.

''I wish to go and see him, im assuming he is at brocket hall?''

''I don't think that is wise ma'am'' Emma spoke carefully

''Emma if you're not being completely honest with me I wish to know why''  
''Your majesty'' Emma began carefully ''I am being completely honest in saying that I am sure Lord Melbourne is not upset at you in any way. He is not the type of man to avoid people for no reason. But today might be particularly hard for him. I have faith that he will attend your coronation ball. But visiting him beforehand may not be the best approach''

''Why is today so difficult for him, or may be?'' Victoria's worry was showing now

''It is not my place to say ma'am, I believe it is a private topic that I cannot be in a position to discuss'' Victoria felt slightly offended by these words, Emma worked for her and not for Lord Melbourne, but her loyalty towards her friend made the queen admire her. Emma did not wish to discuss something that was private and personal to the queen at her friend's discretion just because of Victoria's power. She would not ask her to do this.

''Thank you for being so honest with me Emma, however I need to see him, to put my mind at rest, can I use your carriage, to attend without attracting attention?''

''Yes Ma'am, but please do not be offended if he does not wish to see you'' The queen looked hurt by her words, but she thanked Emma for the warning.

A pang of anxiety whirled through the queen as her carriage stopped outside the doorway, the footman walked to the door and assisted her out of the carriage. As she walked up the steps to the doors the guards bowed and open them to allow her inside.

The hall was beautiful, it held many portraits of art on the walls, both of animals and of descendants which she would only assume where his family. The furniture was modern and current. Walking through the hall way a servant holding a platter with a glass of brandy on it bowed to her.

''I wish to see Lord Melbourne'' She spoke with authority

''He has expressed to have no visitors your majesty'' The servant spoke in a sorry tone

''I do not class myself as a visitor'' she gestured for him to show her the way.

They reached two big wooden doors. The servant knocked on the door before opening it. Victoria followed in quietly behind him and stood near the doorway. Lord Melbourne was hunched over a desk, papers and documents laying everywhere in complete disarray, the fire was almost out, burning embers where he had not made it up. He sat in his dressing gown appearing to be studying something with great concentration. He brought it up to his face slightly before placing it back into the box and looking at a photo of two people, whom Victoria could not make out from such a distance away.

The servant quietly placed the glass on the desk. ''Im very sorry to bother you sir'' he spoke quietly, almost tenderly ''But you have a guest'' Melbourne put his head in his hands before answering

''I told you, no guests, im not here'' The servant looked over to the queen before speaking again.

''I feel you really should see this person sir''

''I said, no '' He spoke coldly this time.

''Now Lord M'' Victoria spoke up, Lord Melbourne leapt from his seat turning to face her in surprise ''Is that any way to treat the queen''

The servant quickly made his exit out of the door. Lord Melbourne grabbed his glass of brandy off the table and walked over towards her, bending down on one knee he kissed her hand delicately. The small and regular gesture suddenly seemed more intimate between the two. Upon rising he placed his other hand on the small of her back he walked her towards a seat beside the fire. Melbourne laid his glass down and began making the fire up. Victoria watched him bring the flames back to life. There was something very domestic about the action.

''I feel as though you have been avoiding me Lord M'' Her quiet voice echoed slightly round the large room.

''Not at all ma'am, I have been very busy''

''You are coming this afternoon, aren't you? I feel it would be impossible to do without you there'' Lord Melbourne turned around, facing her he saw her worried expression.

''Of course, ma'am, I wouldn't miss it for the world'' He smiled at her upon turning around.

Victoria immediately felt at ease once she heard his words of reassurance. ''Have I done something to upset you Lord M? You do not seem yourself'' Victoria wanted to address the obvious state of mind to her friend, but was careful not to drop what Emma had told her into the conversation.

''It's a difficult time of year for me ma'am'' He sat down and looked at her with sorrow in his eyes. Victoria was not expecting the answer to be so prompt, she had suspected he would try to avoid the topic of conversation. Melbourne continued

''Did you know I had a son?'' Victoria looked up at him, this time she saw the deep sadness through his expression.  
''No, I was not aware''

''Augustus'' He paused ''His birthday was… is … today. When my wife ran away he became very ill, he was afraid of the dark, unable to sleep if I was not there beside him. I don't think anything else made me happier than watching him drift off sleep''

Victoria could sense that his son was no longer around. Instead of a celebration his birthday was being mourned. Melbourne was looking into the burning fire almost lost in his own thought, he seemed he couldn't continue.

''I am sorry that I came to see you Lord M, I should not have turned up unnuanced''

''You have nothing to be sorry for ma'am''

They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the cracking of the fire. Unsure of what to say to each other but at the same time feeling the comfortable quiet.  
''Im afraid Lord M'' He looked up at her, her eyes shining in the light of the fireplace, _what a beautiful woman she was._ He thought to himself 

''When he died, I felt that there was no point to my existence'' Victoria looked horrified at his words, she stood from her chair and moved across towards him, seating herself on a foot stool beside where he was seated. She wanted to comfort him, but how could you under such terrible circumstances. How could such a man say something like that.

She suddenly felt his sorrow, the loss of her uncle was not mourned properly due to the amount of changes that had to be made straight away. She could feel his pain. It upset her, it made her chest ache.

''Lord M how can you say that'' He could hear her voice was laced with as much sadness as his own.

''I do not feel that way anymore ma'am, for when I became your priminister and I hope… your friend, and although I know that nothing will ever bring my boy back, but you ma'am have given me a reason to continue''

A tear fell down the side of her face, his voice was the comfort that she had never had as a child, the comfort that restored faith in what her purpose of queen was becoming.

''And you must do the same, you must smile, and wave, and never show them how hard it is to bear'' He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and used it to wipe the stray tears that had fallen down her cheeks, her eyes filled with both sorrow for him, and the truth in her own future as being queen.

''But can I show you?'' She whispered

Lord Melbourne placed his hands into hers, squeezing them tightly he quietly replied ''Always ma'am''

She smiled at him, before embracing him in a hug, it took him by surprise a little. ''You're the only one who understands'' She whispered against his chest before feeling him wrap his own arms around her and brace her into a hug, he leaned back into his chair as she laid in his arms for a few moments. Both enjoying the company in an intimate way.

He could feel the warmth of her body cuddled against his own. He had been many years suffering in silence. Only at the thought of others who knew but could not comfort him in any way on the loss of his wife and son. But somehow this young and inexperienced queen comforted him in a way only his wife was able to do before she left.

Victoria began to pull away from him, he released his arms from around her, she was aware of the time.

''Will you be coming to the palace soon?'' As she began to stand he stood to.

''I shall be there shortly ma'am''  
Victoria noticed his lifted mood slightly, she hoped that she had comforted him in some way.

''Please come and see me before the ball, I intend to save you a dance or two''

''I look forward to it ma'am''

She placed her hands in his, leaning forward she kissed him gently on the cheek, he closed his eyes momentarily, enjoying how her lips felt on his skin. There it was, solace.

''Goodbye Lord M'' Victoria turned around and made her way towards the doors. Melbourne smiled to himself before heading to his chambers to prepare for the ball.

Victoria stood and looked at herself in the mirror, Her white gown exposed her neck and shoulders, it showed her as the mature woman she was aspiring to become. Mrs Skerrett had just finished doing her hair, she stood back and allowed the queen to admire her own reflection.

A knock on the door signalled the two ladies to turn their heads, Lehzen entered bowing.  
''Lord Melbourne is here to see you your majesty''

''Thankyou Lehzen, would you leave us please'' The two ladies left the room allowing Lord Melbourne to enter.

He too was wearing the correct attire, her heart fluttered at the sight, as he entered the room he pulled a white orchid from behind his back. Her mouth opened with great affection towards the flower. Melbourne bent down onto one knee and kissed her un gloved hand. When he rose again the queen looked his eyes.

''You look a vision ma'am'' He spoke quietly as he watched her attach the flower to her gown.

''Lord M, you make my heart flutter'' She smiled warmly at her new companion

''The feeling is always reciprocated ma'am'' Her eyes sparkled at this

''Do I really make your heart flutter?'' Her curiosity peaking

''In so many ways ma'am'' They were so close to each other, but not a single part of them touched.

''I wish for you to kiss me'' She spoke quietly looking deep into his eyes.

''Im afraid that I cannot ma'am'' He tilted his head a touch as he observed her shocked expression. ''I may wrinkle your gown'' He finished

Victoria laughed at his comment before turning back around to the mirror. Looking at herself and Lord Melbourne's reflection, they fitted together well. She could not think of anyone better to spend her time with.

''I will go in ahead ma'am, as so not to attract attention'' Victoria felt the mood change slightly, she wanted nothing more than to walk in on her lord's arm, to dance and have people admire their affections for one another, however they swore to keep things quiet for now. In the best interests of the monarch.

Melbourne walked away from the queen's quarters, the baroness was waiting outside as she addressed the lords departure.  
Walking away without her left him feeling rather lonely. He felt something of a teenage boy, who wanted nothing more than to be in the arms of the woman he desired the most. But the emotion ran deeper than that. He could not quite put his finger on the matter though. 

The crowds of people in the ball room brought the castle to life, the arriving couples showed their amazement at the grand set up, the chandeliers lit the room up in an elegant fashion as the mirrors reflected the light to smother the room in a warm glow.

People gathered and chatted quietly, Lord Melbourne stood quietly in a corner until his friend Emma came up beside him. 

''You have been missed'' She spoke confidently, already noticing the Queen's affection for the Lord. ''Did the Queen come and see you today?''

Melbourne looked at the ground before answering ''Yes, she did. I didn't get much choice in the matter''

Emma laughed ''I advised her not to disturb you, but she wouldn't listen, does she know?'' Emma asked the last part with caution, almost afraid of his reaction 

''Yes, although I fear it was under the influence of to much brandy'' He looked towards her

''She seems quite taken by you'' Lord Melbourne laughed ''I mean it'' Emma looked seriously at Lord Melbourne ''Her majesty lights up around you'' Melbourne smiled at Emma

''Im sure some prince or duke will put a stop to that soon enough Emma'' Melbourne looked across at the crowds, well aware that Emma was watching him. His words hurt by saying that sentence, but with nobody aware of the queens current desires everybody is looking at her possible suitors and whom may steal her heart. Lord Melbourne had to go along with it, as well as hope and pray to himself that that day wouldn't come. 

''Her Majesty The Queen'' The voice echoed across the big hall as the queen walked into the ball room. How her gown sparkled in the light of the candles, her tiara positioned on her head in such a delicate fashion. But the white orchid that was clasped on the top of her dress, almost between her un shown cleavage was what attracted his attention the most. He smiled at the vision and admired her presence she had on the room.

The music began to play and Victoria moved delicately across to a butler, who offered her a class of champagne. Taking a few long sips she began to be engulfed by conversation. After another glass of champagne Melbourne caught the Queens eye, her blue eyes sparkled in his light. Turning towards him she began to walk over. The room seemed immensely big all of a sudden.

''Excuse me your majesty, a Russian accent came up from behind her, the queen turned to see the duke, bowing towards her. ''I have watched all the women dance in this room, but nobody dances as well as you, may I?''

 _He is rather full of himself._ The Queen thought, but never the less she placed down her glass of champagne, Her mother and sir john eyed her carefully as the couple began dancing. Lord Melbourne stood watching the couple, the Queen's ladies stood beside Lord Melbourne as he overheard them talking.

''The Russian duke is very handsome'' Emma started  
''Yes but not very civilised'' Harriett said ''Look at where he is putting his hand''

Melbourne had noticed the dukes hand slowly descending down her back, as it slipped down further the ladies gasped  
''The Poor Queen'' Emma spoke shocked

''Lord Alfred'' Melbourne beckoned the young boy to come over towards him, talking into his ear the Lord said ''I believe it is time for the Russian duke to find a new dancing partner'' Alfred nodded before heading over to the couple.

A strong pang of jealously came over William. He supressed the desire to take her from the duke and dance with her himself. He had to remember his role and where he stood in the eyes of others.

''Sorry sir'' Alfred spoke up to the dancing couple ''I believe that there is an important message from Petersburg for you.  
''Tell them to wait'' The duke snapped as he continued to move with the queen.  
''Im sorry sir but it was of great importance'' The duke released the queen and stormed off.

Victoria felt the room beginning to swirl a bit. Turning round she was offered another glass of champagne which she grateful took a few large sips, nearly halving the small glass.  
As she turned to go and find Lord M he stood behind her.

She looked deep into his eyes for just a moment, the room stopped moving and the noises died down. It was just him, nobody else. Her heart began to flutter again, maybe under the influence of to much champagne but she doubted it.

''Can I have the honour?'' Lord Melbourne held out his hand, placing the champagne down Victoria clasped his hand and gasped slightly as his hand snaked around the small of her back, holding her tight to him. William smirked.

The pair moved effortlessly together, under the eyes of her Mother and Sir John, the pair looked at each other with the same expression. Melbourne was aware of the eyes on her and the thoughts they where thinking. But the queen was completely oblivious to them. Their feet moved in perfect harmony. They became transfixed by each other.

''I did not enjoy watching you dance with that duke''

''Jealously Lord M, it makes me feel special. You dance so well'' She paused ''I wish I could dance with you every night'' The Lord looked down at the flower nearly touching his chest.

''And that you are! Im a lot older, ma'am, im not sure if I could dance every night, whilst you are so young''

''I am 18'' The queen spoke with confidence ''Old enough to be Queen'' Lord Melbourne laughed ''And you are not old Lord M''  
''If only that where true ma'am'' The music was beginning to slow as the dance came to an end.

''I still get a hint of regret in your voice Lord M, tell me, do you still believe we have done the right thing''

''We can talk later ma'am'' The Lord released his hands from her and began to back away.

''Something needs to be said to Lord Melbourne'' Sir John whispered into The Duchesses' ear

''I agree, but not tonight'' The Duchess said, eyeing her daughter with another glass.

The evening drifted on. The queen became to get more influenced by the drink. Lord Melbourne rarely let her out of sight as she began to wobble and speak her mind.

Lady Flora came up to the queen, quietly speaking ''The Duchess would like to see you Ma'am''

''Mama sent you!'' She shouted, laughing. Lady Flora stood complexed for a moment before quickly leaving the room. Victoria stood in a bit of a daze as every eye fell onto her.

''I believe it is very hot in here ma'am, perhaps we should go to the balcony'' Lord M stood behind the queen as she just about coordinated her legs towards the corridor.

Outside in the corridor Lord Melbourne turned to Victoria with a worried expression on his face.  
''I believe your tired ma'am, you should go and get some rest''

''But I don't want to retire'' She spoke loudly ''I want to dance with you'' Victoria pulled him towards her, as she pressed her body into his, looking up into his eyes she stilled for a moment, feeling lost in him. The pair kept still and quiet.

Melbourne found it hard to turn her away, he cared for her so much. 

''Not, tonight ma'am'' With all his inner strength he pushed her away. Dropping her hands he looked at her with a saddening expression. 

''If you will not dance with me will you escort me back to my chambers'' The queen became stiff and formal, as if she had been burnt by his touch. 

''Of course ma'am'' as he went to take her hand she stepped away, walking in front of him. The lord followed behind, running a hand through his hair. She was drunk, but she was still hurt by his actions towards her, as unintended as they were.

They entered her bedroom where she spun around onto him as the door closed.  
''What have I done wrong?'' Victoria sounded angry, but it may well be the champagne

''Nothing ma'am why would you ask'' Melbourne stood with his hands behind his back.

''You have been so cold to me, I feel as though our encounter never existed. You will not dance with me, or engage in any deep conversations. I feel lost Lord M, im not experienced enough to know your intentions''

''I wish not to attract attention ma'am, people have been watching you all night, dancing alone in the corridor barely seemed a sensible thing to do'' 

''Of course'' The queen looked down ''Do you still desire me Lord M, or has the whole idea put your feelings in a different direction''

''I do not believe that is possible ma'am, even if I wanted them to''

''I wish we could just be together'' The queen looked at him this time, in the dimmed light she looked even more beautiful. ''I wish for you to kiss me'' She held her head up. 

''You have had a lot to drink ma'am'' Melbourne took a step towards her.

''Maybe, but I still know what I want. I was not under the influence of drink earlier, or when we went out riding''

Melbourne had no answer.

''Fine, if you do not wish to then please leave'' The queen turned her back onto him, her bare neck and shoulders glimmered in the light of the room.

Melbourne walked up behind her. He had to remember that they where in a palace and anyone could walk in looking for the queen. _Nothing more than a kiss_ he told himself.

Victoria could tell he was behind her. She felt his lips make contact with the back of her neck, a tender action which caused her to gasp, as if all the air had left her body. The lord felt an intense surge of pleasure as he heard her reactions to his ministrations.  
He placed light and tender kisses all the way down her shoulders, every time he made it back towards her neck she would tilt her head, giving him easier access. He noted this, it would come in handy one day. He hoped.  
He deepened the kiss on her neck, grazing his teeth on the sensitive skin just lightly, a moan slipped out of her mouth as his hands slipped around her slim waist and held her close to him. He could feel the anticipation in his arousal, but was determined to keep his mind focused of his where abouts.  
The Queen turned towards him. Looking deep into his eyes he found it impossible to resist her.  
Grabbing her chin delicately in his hands he placed a tender kiss on her lips. The queen leaned in towards the action, expecting it to become deeper when he released her mouth she almost whimpered in her own frustration. One hand rose from her waist to the orchid placed on her chest.

''I have been watching this flower all night'' He whispered before she pulled him into another kiss. Their lips worked together like their feet did when they danced. Their bodies intertwined together in such harmony it was almost impossible to tell they where two different people. Melbourne deepened the kiss much to the queens satisfaction. It wasn't as rough and as desperate as before. He felt they had more time.

His teeth grazed her bottom lip as he swallowed her moans of contentment. She pushed against him slightly confusing him with her force. He parted from her.  
''What are you doing''  
''I need to sit down'' She felt dizzy Victoria clasped his hand and lead him over to her bedroom, she sat on her bed and encouraged him to do the same.  
Melbourne's mind panicked a little. ''We cant cross the line ma'am''

''I merely wish to sit here Lord M'' She spoke in confusion. Her inexperience was a positive for him, she had no real idea how far a man and a woman could go together. It gave him comfort as he knew when he could stop, or at least, he hoped he would be able to stop.

He sat down before pulling her lips to his own, Victoria leaned into him to become more comfortable, the pair became lost in each other once more. He was beginning to loose control. Her actions became more desperate, her desire more prominent. Victoria was aware of the new and unexplored emotions her body was telling her. She wanted him as close as possible.

The pair laid back on the bed, Melbourne clasped her head in his hands, unable to grab her neatly pinned up hair, he was careful to avoid the tiara, his kisses strayed from her mouth leaving a blazing trail where his lips left her skin, Melbourne shifted his body so he had her pinned on the bed, careful not to put any weight on her more than necessary. He reached the top of her dress, kissing along the top of her dress line, breathing against her warm skin, he stopped in the centre and placed his nose in the flower, tracing his hand up her waist to her under arms, feeling the curves of her body's delicacy under the fabric. 

''William'' She muttered quietly, her moans becoming louder, He smirked against her skin. Hearing her say his first name did things to him. But he was becoming more than aware of his own arousal. He moved back up to her mouth, pressing his weight onto her as he pulled her into one last deep embrace. He parted from her. Sitting back beside her she laid there for a moment, completely immobile. Her body awash with emotions she had yet to know existed.

''I do not want you to go'' Victoria spoke as she lifted herself into a seating position 

''And I do not wish to leave you ma'am, but I believe this palace has eyes everywhere, if I was to take it any further I would never see you again if we where to be caught''

''I wish for us to have some time to ourselves, perhaps during my birthday'' I suspect I can excuse myself to Windsor for a few days, we can attend to the boxes there.

''I thought you did not like Windsor'' 

''I would not go if you where not there with me'' Answered the Queen. Melbourne took her hands and placed one last kiss to her lips before rising. 

''Goodnight ma'am'' He spoke softly before heading towards the doors, He closed the door quietly behind him and began his walk down the corridor. He caught his own reflection in the mirror, quickly straitening his cravat and collar. He felt awfully uncomfortable. How could that young woman unravel him like this. He had less self-preservation than he thought.

Lord Melbourne continued his walk down the hall, his mind still in deep consideration about what happened. His friend Emma watched him disappear from sight before stepping up to stand beside the Queen's chamber doors. 

_**The couples relationship was tested in the series. The unexplained feelings leaves a lot for the imagination. I have had to stick to the plot line in order to establish the couple a bit. It will soon begin to change. Thankyou for reading.**_


	3. Inner Fears

**Self-Doubt**

 _ **Very long chapter.. sorry, I got a touch carried away. Any plots or quotes in this fan fic are not owned by me. If they where it would of be a different ending! Enjoy**_

Lord Melbourne glanced at his pocket watch as he followed the queen into the quiet room, a table of breakfast options laid out for her.

''I feel every time I make a speech everyone is waiting for me to slip up''

''Everybody makes mistakes ma'am, I believe you are to hard on yourself sometimes'' The queen watched his uneased expression as she popped a grape into her mouth. 

''Am I keeping you from something Lord M?'' The prime minister turned to her.

''The slavery vote is going on as we speak ma'am, it is causing quite a debate, I just hope we get our vote passed. The Tories are constantly looking for weaknesses in my parliament'' 

''I thought slavery was illegal now?''

''It's still legal in parts of the Caribbean islands ma'am'' He glanced at his watch again. Victoria walked around the table and stood facing him.

''What if I insisted the vote was to be passed?'' Melbourne looked up from his watch

''No ma'am you cannot do that, Sir John and your Uncle Cumberland already believe that I am swaying your personal opinion, I would prefer if I fought this on my own with only the house as my backing. It will make my parliament appear stronger''

''I see. Well then, you should be there, to give your input. Go Lord M, your no use to the house if your following me around''

''Thankyou Ma'am for being so understanding'' The lord made his exit.

''Lord Melbourne and Victoria are to close to each other'' Sir John spat the words out as if they tasted of poison. ''He is turning her into a wigged puppet, whatever he advises she complies with''

''Drina is young, she is listening to the person that listens back'' Her mother politely protested ''Although I do get the impression she is rather besotted with Lord Melbourne'' 

''If the Queen didn't have her trusted companion beside her she would make some terrible mistakes, she would be lost without an advisor, some may even say she would not be sound of mind'' The Duchess looked at Sir John in shock. 

''She may be head strong, stubborn and at times single minded, but I have never doubted that she is not sound of mind''

''That girl is making a mockery out of you, forcing you to the North Wing of the palace, depriving you of the attire you most definitely deserve, I feel you should have been given the title of the Queen Mother, people chant your name when she is paraded about. You are the favourite in the public eye'' The duchess smiled at his flattery.  
''The vote on slavery is very close today, Lord Melbourne will be at the house, maybe you should go and have a chat to your daughter, and I will do the same to Lord Melbourne''

''Do you believe the slavery vote will be passed?'' The duchess asked,

''I am unsure, if it does pass it will be with minimal votes, Lord Melbourne and the parliament would be in a weakness to the Tories if the vote wasn't given enough support''

The duchess smiled and complied with his order.

The queen busied herself with the boxes throughout the day. The British weather complied to tradition and the beating rain on the windows meant that she could not go out for her daily ride. As the day began to draw to a close and the boxes where completed Victoria decided to occupy herself with the piano.

The young queen had many commitments, as well as many people surrounding her. But without her trusted companion beside her she felt rather lost and alone, feeling unable to speak her mind to anybody else, or have anybody listen to her. She stepped carefully through conversations sometimes, imagining that if she was to trip and fall there would be people ready to pin her down and keep her there. The queen only felt safe when Lord Melbourne was around. 

Her mind traced back to the evening of the ball. She often laid in bed thinking of his actions. Her skin jumped to attention as she relayed the memory inside her head, how she longed to have him with her all the time. How she longed things could be different.

Flicking through the pages of music on the piano she found a piece she enjoyed playing the most. She readied herself at the piano, just as she was about to start playing her mother entered the room.

''Drina, may I have a word'' Victoria sighed as she left the piano and sat down beside her mother. ''I have come to notice your attentions towards Lord Melbourne are changing''

A mixture of panic and anger lifted in the queen ''I do not know what you are talking about mama, Lord M is a dear friend to me, that is all''

''Lord Melbourne is a much older man, who is clever at stealing hearts, he must not take yours''

 _Bit late for that mama_ Victoria thought to herself. ''Im not sure what Sir John has put into your head this time mama, but I can assure you I am aware of where I stand with Lord Melbourne and I do not need anybody's guidance on the matter'' Victoria rose away from her mother and sat herself back at the piano. Her mother left her in peace as she began to play.

The sound of the piano echoing through the halls immediately reached Lord Melbourne's ears as he entered the palace. Her experienced hands had the capability to transfix huge crowds as her fingers effortlessly swayed over the keys. He had seen the amount of emotion she put into her music, he longed to watch her play without a crowd. Just to see how shut off she could become when playing.

Looking at his own reflection in the mirror for a moment he contemplated how he was going to address the matter he had come to discuss, he was well aware it would upset the young woman.  
Just as he was about to follow the sweet music hitting his ears Sir John walked towards him.

''Good evening Sir John''

''I trust the vote passed Lord Melbourne''

''Yes it did, but only just''

''You must be disappointed, im sure the Tories will be pleased''

''And im sure they will to. Is that all?'' Lord Melbourne found his distaste for the man growing by the second. 

''I am worried that you are influencing Victoria into many single minded decisions''

''I advise The Queen. But the final decision always comes from her own mind. If she chooses to follow my advice it is of her own accord''

''I feel that you are becoming to close to her, she is being turned into a wigged puppet. Are you aware that they call her Mrs Melbourne?'' The priminister looked at Sir John.

''Well then, that is my privilege isn't it''

''Just remember your position Lord Melbourne, I cannot look into your soul but I know that you are a man and that she is a very desirable young woman''

''I do not look at the Queen as an object of power. That Sir John is the way you look at her. Now, I bid you good day'' Lord Melbourne continued his journey.

He entered the room to find she was all on her own. Her eyes down on the keys as she effortlessly played through her own feelings, he recognized the emotion, the power she was putting into it. He walked up beside her, admiring the way her chest rose and fell as if every key pressed was pushing the air clean out of her body. She had not noticed his arrival.

He turned the piece of music sheeting over by a page, this attracted her attention. She looked up to see him and smiled broadly at him.

''I could listen to you play all evening'' He spoke softly towards her.  
''One day, I will give you a private performance''  
''Is that a promise''  
''Indeed Lord M'' She moved along the seat and offered for him to sit beside her.

''I have some bad news for you ma'am'' He paused ''The vote for slavery was passed by only 5 votes this afternoon, I feel that my parliament is now very weak and the Tories will be keenly awaiting the next vote, I would rather resign now so that your parliament is fully supported and as strong as it needs to be''

The smile slowly fell from Victoria's face. ''But how will i… what will i…'' She had no words. She felt lost. She looked at him again. ''I cannot do this without you Lord M''

''You need a strong government, and I feel as though I am unable to give you that now ma'am''

''But I will not see you'' The priminister knew what she was getting at. He cupped her hand in his and kissed it gently. Holding it in his own lap.

''Try not to worry about that ma'am, I have no intention of deserting you on a personal level. I strongly feel it is within my duty to step aside to ensure your ruling is fully supported''

''I do not.. I will not feel safe, I will have nobody to confide in''

''I will still be here ma'am''

''But not all the time'' she quickly retaliated. ''Without you being my priminister you will have no reason to come here'' He could hear the panic in her voice as she paused to regain her thoughts

''You are still my friend ma'am, or at least, I hope you are'' He looked into her eyes.

She squeezed his hand tightly. ''I fear you are much more than that Lord M''

The duchess walked up to the window, she saw the ladies out walking behind the queen, the rain poured outside, but the queen used her umbrella to smack her anger into the hedge lining the drive. Her sobs of pain struck the ladies who followed closely behind. 

She reached the end of the track and stood out in the weather. Her clothes where soaked through, her hair drenched and flat. The water cascading off her face shielded her falling tears but her sobs made it clear of her distress.

Her mother came up from behind the ladies. 

''My poor Victoria, I know the loss of Lord Melbourne has been hard on you. Not having a man beside you is so tough''

Victoria looked at her mother in pure distaste.

''He is the only one who understands'' She shouted before sobbing again.

''No Drina, not the only one'' Her mother stood quietly as the queen contemplated her answer. Her sobs of hurt impulsed her to run to her mother seeking the comfort she so desperately wanted. Wrapping her arms around her mother she cried into her shoulder, but felt no warmth or comfort in the embrace. It was a cold and an almost meaningless gesture.

-

The queen laid in an almost tranced slumber for days on end. The boxes stayed unattended to, she had heard no word from her dear Lord M who had promised to stay in touch. She had never felt so alone. Walking through the corridors she stopped to admire the portraits of her descendants.

''Your majesty'' Victoria turned to see Sir John standing beside her. 

''I know your upset at loosing Lord Melbourne, however you must consider forming a government. If you are to inexperienced then please allow myself and your mother to form the strongest parliament you can imagine, to support you. 

Victoria laughed inwardly.

''I do not require your assistance Sir John''

''Your Uncle Cumberland would be great support to your parliament alongside your mother and i. I know Sir Robert Peel also comes highly recommended''

''Thankyou Sir John, if I require your advice I shall ask for it'' Victoria turned her back and walked away.

-

''This rat problem is getting out of hand'' The Baroness stormed into the room

''I saw one in the queens dressing chamber this morning'' Mrs Skerrett informed the now shocked Baroness

''The queen hates rodents. They must be attended to quicker than they are now'' The Baroness looked at Penge with great distaste.

''They are disturbed by the gas lighting ma'am. Do I have your permission to pay the rat catchers extra in order to get the infestation under control 

The baroness walked towards Penge. ''Whatever it takes'' She spoke as if she could barely get the words out. Penge smiled as The Baroness walked out of the room, dropping a coin into Brodie's Hand.

''I feel that the loss of Victoria's dear Lord Melbourne has had a severe impact on the ability to create a new government and make serious decisions, her role as Queen has taken a back seat to her emotional attachment to her Lord Melbourne'' Her Uncle Cumberland spoke in a sly tone to his fellow members. ''I fear i will be staying here a little longer, as changes at this rate are inevitable'' Cumberland Spoke wisely to The Duke of Wellington and Sir Robert Peel. The two men agreed silently.

-

Victoria sat near the open fire, as Lord Melbourne entered he kissed her hand and bowed. 

''I have missed you'' She spoke quietly  
''It has not been suitable for me to visit you ma'am, I hope you understand this''  
''Of course. But tell me Lord M, don't you think that my plan is so ingenious'' Victoria seemed proud of her achievements 

''Im not sure if its smart ma'am, this country needs a stable government, it has been days now and no changes have been made. People are beginning to question your duty and where it lies'' Victoria looked hurt. ''The reality of it is that you need to form a government, and I believe that Sir Robert Peel was well within his rights to ask you to change your staff''

''I do not wish to re live Kensington all over again'' Victoria snapped ''My ladies are now my only friends, I do not wish to be invaded by spies. Robert peel spoke to me as if I was foolish and to young to be making such decisions''

''Robert peel is standing his ground in the best way possible, if I was coming into power now I would of done the same'' Lord Melbourne could feel the tension rising in the room, it was the first time that the queens inexperience was starting to worry him. 

''You need to form a government''

''I do not want to change my government''

''That's not your decision to make'' Melbourne almost snapped at her

''Above everything else, don't you want to be my Priminister?'' Melbourne looked at her carefully

''Not under these circumstances no.'' The queen looked hurt at this, almost anticipating his answer to be different. ''It doesn't matter about my feelings for you or our friendship or anything else. You are the ruler of the greatest nation in the world. My devotion to you is to allow you to have the strongest parliament behind you to ensure you are at your best as a monarch. Coming back now would throw stories about you all over, it would tarnish your reputation''

''I do not care for my own reputation Lord M. I care that I am surrounded by people that I trust and that I … care for''

Never before had William felt so torn. His love and feelings for the woman in front of him was beginning to cloud his judgement.

''I do not wish for anything to change between us ma'am. But if it means you will form a stable government without me beside you or romantically involved with you then so be it.'' His words hurt her like a stab wound to the chest. But not nearly as much as they hurt him for saying it.

William walked past her as her tears began to fall. Closing his own eyes to try and shut out the pain as he left her standing in shock.

Once back at his home William walked through the doors, ''Brandy'' He spoke to the footman at the door, ''Im not here, for anyone'' He spoke as he walked towards his study. Once in the study a particular parcel had caught his eye, he read the label before placing it back down and holding his head in his hands.

Sir John walked through the doors to Uncle Cumberland's hall.  
''I must say I was surprised at your invitation to meet'' Sir John spoke first.

''I will not keep you long Sir John. I am worried for my niece, her recent decisions have become irrational at the loss of Lord Melbourne''

''I have tried to guide her through this obviously very difficult time, but she refuses to accept any help''

''The monarch will not stand alone, it requires a government to protect and support it. I fear she is becoming un sound of mind''

Sir John looked up at Cumberland who continued ''And it is in my best interest to ensure the monarchy is as strong as it can be''

''Do you mean to say to have the regency changed on the basis of insanity'' Sir John asked

''If that is what it takes then yes, the duchess would be much more suitable, under the correct guidance'' 

''Yes'' Sir John agreed. The two men stood smiling at each other 

As the queen entered the room the small choir of children began singing, beside it stood an extravagant cake. Upon the top tier stood a model of the queen seated with her dog beside her.

''What an uncanny likeness, this cake is a work of art'' Victoria turned and thanked the Chef and Penge for their work. Both bowed.

The ladies and the Duchess along with Sir John wished her Birthday to be a happy one.  
Victoria bared the smile at the couple she was growing stronger to dislike. But her heart was somewhere else. She looked disappointed that Lord Melbourne had not turned up to her celebrations. She had written him an invite the day after their argument. But had not had a reply. 

''Why don't you open your presents your majesty'' Harriett spoke up. Victoria sat down as the first gift was received. One by one she opened the presents until they were all revealed, no present or show from her dear Lord M. Her heart ached at the realisation.

-

A horse drawn carriage pulled up at the door way of the palace. Melbourne stood up and stepped out of the doorway, with the package in hand. He took a long deep breath as he walked up the steps to the front doors.

\- 

Victoria walked towards the window, but her mother stopped her in her tracks. Holding out a wrapped gift towards her daughter Victoria took it and opened it.

Inside was a book. She opened it onto the first page. A quote was underlined. 'How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have an thankless child' Victoria had read the quote aloud, she stood facing her mother in hurt but her mother was showing nothing other than disrespect to her daughter.

Suddenly out of the corner of her eye Victoria turned to see the cake alive with rats. She screamed in horror panicking at the rodents that where surrounding her. The ladies all panicked to. Screaming in shock the queen backed away from the cake.

-

Upon entering the hallway Lord Melbourne could hear the screaming from the adjoining corridors. He panicked at the thought and ran towards the noise.

Opening the doors quickly he caught Victoria screaming into the face of Sir John. He had hold of her arms tightly and she seemed to be leaning away from him, trying to avoid his grasp. Sir John was shouting above the screaming for the queen to control herself. Melbourne could see the rats but felt the young queen was screaming at something else.

Dropping his gift on the near by table he grabbed Sir John and pulled him off of the queens arms and stood facing her. Her screaming died down as her tears began to fall. She fell into his arms and buried her head from sight. He stood quietly holding her aware that all the screaming had stopped and all eyes where on him. 

''Would you like to go somewhere more private ma'am'' He said against her head, The queen nodded in agreement as she took hold of Melbourne's arm and made her way towards the door with him.  
''Drina, let me come with you'' Her mother said in a state of worry  
''NO'' Victoria shouted as she turned to face her mother. Lord Melbourne grabbed the package off the table and lead the queen to a quiet room out of sight of everybody.

He sat Victoria down before seating himself beside her.  
''Not a fan of rats I see'' He smiled at her, trying to bring some humour to the situation  
''Im afraid there is a lot more to it than that'' The queen spoke through the tears. Lord Melbourne grabbed his hanker-chief from his pocket and handed it to her.  
''I know ma'am''

He noticed her hands where trembling and he dreaded to think what had upset her in such a way. He clasped her hands in his before putting them up to his heart.  
''Can you feel that?''

Victoria could feel the faint heart beat through his chest.  
''Just'' She spoke between the tears.

Melbourne opened the top of his cravat and the top of his shirt. Grabbing her hand once more he placed it against his bare chest.  
Victoria could feel his heart beat pounding against her hand. She looked at him.

''Why is it beating so fast?''  
''You worried me ma'am, I have never seen you so afraid'' Victoria took her hand off his chest as he began to dress himself again.

''Sir John has a tendency to do that to me'' Memories of her childhood made her shudder. 

Anger bubbled up inside of Lord Melbourne. He did not wish to ask why. He had never seen the Queen so afraid. She handled such situations rather well, able to hide her own emotions and put a front up for her public and family. He had always seen something sly in that man. The way he spoke of Lord Melbourne's attentions when his own where already so clear.

''It seems that we both have a similar judge of character ma'am'' Victoria smiled at him as she began to dry her eyes and settle down a bit in his presence.

''What are you doing here Lord M?'' He could hear the hurt in her voice  
''I cannot keep away ma'am. I find it hard to think of anything else when I am away from you, and we parted on such bad terms''

''You chose to part on those terms, not me, but it seems I am not capable on my own'' She was being blunt with him. He deserved it.

''I felt as though If I pushed myself away it would of encouraged you to forget me in order to select a new prime minister, but you didn't make it very easy to do so. As you know, I will not be your priminister forever''

''It would of? What are you saying Lord M'' Her voice lifted

''You don't miss much do you, if you will take me back. It will be my honour to serve you again ma'am'' Victoria's smile reached her eyes.

''Yes Lord M I would like that very much'' She paused contemplating her next question ''Did you mean what you said to me?''

''No ma'am, I am devoted to ensuring that your monarchy is strong and stable. I only want to see you thrive as queen. But I am also devoted to you, and what I said to you the other day was spoken out of fustration. My feelings have not changed, and I know that they never will''

''I realised something Lord M''

He tilted his head ''What's that ma'am?''

''When you first resigned as Prime Minister I was beside myself. Unable to focus or stomach the thought of choosing someone to replace you without any warning. I had nobody to comfort me. I remember going out in the rain, even my ladies could not talk me round. My mother tried to comfort me. I felt no warmth in her actions, no dedication, I didn't feel that she really cared'' Victoria's eyes shone with unshed tears. ''Is that what devotion is Lord M? To feel warmth in simple acts of comfort, to feel like somebody cares and is supportive no matter what'' 

''Completely ma'am''

''Then you are the only person I feel that with Lord M'' Victoria took his hands in hers, bringing one up to her chest she placed his hand over her heart. ''I gave my heart to you that day, without hesitation and without regret''

''You have always had my heart ma'am, I admired you from our first meeting together, and although I cannot recall the exact moment it happened I know that you have my heart without hesitation and without a shed of regret''

Victoria leaned forward in the purpose to kiss him. She would never be able to get enough of this man. William was just about to comply with her wishes when he heard the door handle click quickly he placed his hand up towards her eyes, tilting her chin back so her eyes where facing the ceiling slightly he began looking at the base of her eyes.  
''Im sorry ma'am I cannot see anything'' Victoria played along despite being utterly baffled.

''Ah! Harriett, maybe you could see if Victoria has anything in her eye? A woman has more of an eye for those things'' Victoria looked at Lord M who quirked up a slight smile.

''I will be here tomorrow morning ma'am, we have much to discuss''

''Thank you Lord M'' Victoria watched him leave the room. 

''Are you feeling better ma'am?'' Harriett began looking for the imaginary foreign object in Victoria's eye.

''Yes Harriett, thank you'' 

-

Victoria sat quietly as Mrs Skerrett prepared her for bed, brushing out her long wavy hair the queen saw Lehzen came in through the door carrying a box.

''I believe this is for you ma'am''

Victoria took the box from the Baroness and delicately opened it. She pulled out the telescope. ''How beautiful'' She remarked. Laying the object down she picked up the card.

 _I hope this allows you to escape more often -Lord M._

Victoria held the card close to her chest. Mrs Skerrett smiled from behind the queen as she to read the card.

''Mrs Skerrett''

''Yes Ma'am''

''I wish to write a letter to Lord M, would you ensure it is delivered tonight''

''Of Course Ma'am''

-

A gentle hand laid on Williams shoulder, bringing him out of his sleep.

''Sorry to disturb you sir, but you have a letter'' Lord Melbourne took the letter and opened it.

 _Lord M_

 _Thank you very much for the telescope. The events of the last few days have shown how incapable I am of living without you at times. I always have faith in your advice and trust you only want what's best for me through the trying times I will be sure to continue to face. I miss your company when you are not around, your humour and your smile.  
I know our journey will continue to be a trying one. But I promise to stick by you. I feel I would not be where I am today without you.  
You told me once to smile and wave, and never show how hard it is to bear. But I do not feel this way anymore, as when you are beside me. It is not hard to bear._

 _Your Victoria  
_

Lord Melbourne held the letter up to his chest. His smile was impossible to hide. He felt up lifted by this remarkable young woman.

 _ **I have had to stick to the similar storyline to begin with. Just so that I can change it more from now on. Now things will begin to mix and hopefully match! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.**_


	4. True Poetry

**True Poetry**

 _ **After hearing a selection of lyrics out of a song I felt it a perfect meaning to place into this chapter.**_

Victoria impatiently paced the room, her ladies sat patiently as the queen shifted from foot to foot, constantly watching the window for Lord Melbourne's arrival.  
''I cannot wait to get out of this palace and retreat to Windsor for a few days'' Victoria said out-loud whilst looking out the window _****_

Harriett and Emma eyed each other. ''Have you decided who is going with you yet ma'am?'' Emma asked.

Victoria came and sat beside her. ''I believe I would like you and Harriett to join me'' Victoria looked at Emma. ''I will obviously require Mrs Skerrett to come along to. But I am unsure if Lehzen is really in need or not, my first inclination is to keep her here to tend to the household''

''As long as you have some chaperones ma'am'' Harriett spoke aloud. ''But you need to ensure things run like clockwork here'' 

''Obviously Lord Melbourne is attending with us, I need someone to go through the boxes with me'' Victoria said, getting up to look out the window once more.

''Is now a good time to leave the palace ma'am, it's a busy time and the costume ball will mean your consultation is required'' Emma chipped in

''Lehzen will take care of all that. I need to get away from this place. My mother and Sir John have invited Uncle Leopold over, and I fear they are trying to force me into marriage. I cannot stand to be in this palace a moment longer''

The ladies all felt for the queen. Emma especially as she was aware of the connection that Lord Melbourne and Victoria clearly shared.

''What is this?'' The duchess stood in the doorway of the room. Victoria turned to her mother. 

''I am going to Windsor for a few days mama. I need to have a break from the palace before the costume ball''

''Shall I begin to get ready then, when are we leaving?''

''No need mama, I have already chosen who I will be taking'' Victoria spoke coldly to her mother, she had no reason to be nice to her after the awful birthday incident yesterday

''Who is that then?'' Her mother held her head up high 

''Emma and Harriett are coming along, as well as Mrs Skerrett for my dresser. I may consider taking Lord Alfred, and Lord Melbourne is coming to attend to the boxes with me''

''Victoria it is not wise to go on a retreat with your priminister, people will talk'' Her mother spoke in a warning tone.

''Well let them talk'' Victoria snapped. ''The doctor was right, I need to rest. But not here. I need to get away for a while to re gather my thoughts, resting here under such eyes will cause me too much stress''

The ladies tried to hide their smiles. Harriett especially felt proud of Victoria for standing up to the people that put her down the most. The duchess turned her back and left the room.  
Victoria smiled at her ladies who began to giggle. Their support was invaluable at times.

The sound of horses came up the driveway. Victoria looked out of the window and recognised the carriage straight away.

''Finally'' Victoria could hardly contain her excitement.

Walking down the hallway Victoria stopped Lord Melbourne in his tracks. He bowed respectively and kissed her hand.

''How are you feeling today ma'am''

''Much better'' Her smile was growing by the second. ''I have told my ladies that we are heading to Windsor for a few days. They have agreed it is a good move to help restore my health properly''

''If that is what you wish ma'am, when are we leaving''

''I feel it is best to attend to the boxes this morning, then I felt we could go for a ride out before leaving?''

''Whatever you wish ma'am''

Victoria told her ladies of her plan. Whilst the pair worked on the boxes the household began preparing for the queens short term departure. But Victoria found it hard to focus.

''You seem very distracted ma'am'' Lord Melbourne asked as he poured her another cup of tea out of the pot.

''I cannot wait to get away from this place. Every day I am told about how important it is to marry, I am not a broodmare, all that is secured through marriage is the possibility of children. I am not ready for this yet''

''Not all queens marry'' Lord Melbourne stated. ''Marriage creates a partnership by law, but a true partnership is earnt by self-respect and the love two people have for one another. Not the ability to make children or have a perfect match in the hierarchy''

''I agree whole heartedly Lord M. But I feel my family do not think the same''

''It is not their decision to make ma'am'' Melbourne looked back down at the Afghanistan papers. The topic was a worrying one, for the countries men were out fighting their war. But the topic did not seem as serious as it should be. The mood was comfortable and positive.

Victoria watched him with great interest. His face changed when he was deep in thought, the way a poets did when they were reading out their work. He took great pride in his work.  
Lord Melbourne looked up and laughed a little

''Whatever are you looking at?''

''You are so focused Lord M. Its endearing to watch''

''I feel the same way when you play the piano ma'am'' A smile spread across her face.

''I shall remember that'' She spoke from above her tea cup.

-

Victoria took in deep long breaths of the cool air. The leaves where falling fast now, most of the trees stood bare. Her horse was breathing as heavy as she was. She felt uplifted. She turned to look at William who to looked out of breath.

''What are you looking at'' The queen laughed at her friend, there horses where side by side.

''I haven't seen you look so happy ma'am'' 

''You are looking at me in a very intent way Lord M'' Victoria looked down at her dress.

''You do look particularly alluring in that dress today ma'am, the colour suits you …and your horse'' He added Victoria smiled

-

''Everything is packed and waiting ma'am'' Mrs Skerrett bowed to Victoria as she finished doing her bonnet. 

''Thankyou Mrs Skerrett'' Victoria walked out into the corridors, heading down the steps towards the main doors her mother met her.

''Be careful Drina'' Her mother warned.

''Goodbye mama, I shall see you in a few days'' Victoria did not stop for her mother, as they reached the steps the ladies waited alongside Lord Melbourne. The carriages where lined up and ready to leave. 

''I feel I will travel with Lord Melbourne ladies. You may travel together'' The ladies all looked slightly surprised but obeyed the queens orders and got in the same carriage. 

''Do you really think that is wise ma'am?''

''Nonsense Lord M, I do not worry about what people say'' She carefully stepped into the carriage and made space for William. Once the door was shut the carriage headed off towards Windsor. 

-

The small group sat down to dinner later that evening. There was little time to explore the castle as the evening dulled the daylight. The group sat in diverse conversation over the meals. Victoria and Lord Melbourne sat together and the Ladies sat around them. The atmosphere was relaxed and calm, unlike many of their meals at the palace.

The group retired to a smaller room to indulge in a game of cards. The evening drifted by. Melbourne noticed the queens naturally relaxed behaviour, he had not seen her in such a way at the palace, only when she was alone with him for quite some time. It never left his mind how much stress the young queen was under at times, not just the duties of the monarchy but also the demands of her family and relatives.

''I think I may go and explore the castle, I have seen some incredible portraits hanging on the walls'' The queen said ''Lord M, do you wish to come with me?''

''Indeed ma'am'' The lord rose alongside her and the pair headed towards the big doors.

''Do you think we should follow?'' Mrs Skerrett whispered to the two ladies 

''No'' Emma replied ''Let them be'' Emma smiled at Harriett and Eliza as the ladies all seemed to agree on their silent assumptions.

-

The two walked the hallways, admiring the paintings of the kings and queens of the country, portraits of the castle, animals and descendants.

''There is so much history in these walls'' Victoria stopped at a painting of Elizabeth. William stood beside her.  
''Do you think she was lonely, not being able to marry?''

''It wasn't that she wasn't able to marry ma'am, just that she had companions whom she couldn't marry. It didn't mean she was unhappy''

''I do not wish to marry if I cannot marry the person who I love''

Melbourne raised his eye brows and smiled towards the queen who was still admiring the painting  
''Come on ma'am'' He placed his hand on the small of her back as the pair walked side by side down the corridors.

They came to two big wooden doors at the end of a hallway. The doors perched on some steps as a level higher than the floor they were currently standing on. The queen walked ahead of Melbourne who watched her go up the steps in front of him. She opened the doors to reveal a huge ball room. 

Victoria ran into the centre of the huge room, her footsteps echoed across the curved ceilings. The chandeliers where alight with what seemed to be thousands of candles. Victoria spun around the room, admiring every little detail. Lord Melbourne watched the excited woman who had a smile as big as her laugh.

''What a beautiful creation, don't you agree Lord M''

''It is a very grand room ma'am'' William walked towards the centre where the queen stood.

''How could such a stunning room be so hidden from the world''

''I feel the best things in the world are kept hidden away ma'am'' Victoria smiled at him before eyeing a book stood on a wooden stand.

Victoria walked over to the book and picked it off its stand, she walked back towards Lord Melbourne with the book in her hand. Standing in front of him she began to read the poetry wrote in front of her.

 _Our lives are stories, waiting to be told. In search of silver linings we discovered gold.  
And judgement told us that our hearts where wrong, but they are the ones we will look down upon. _

Victoria looked up at Lord Melbourne, he was watching her intently, listening to every word. Victoria continued

 _The rules, they are emotions don't comply, but we will defy the rules until we die.  
So let's be sinners to be saints, and lets be winners by mistake. The world may disapprove but my world is only you. If we are sinners then it feels like heaven to me._

Victoria's mouth felt dry. William was watching the way her necklace shimmered in the light, how it was rising and falling faster with her quicker breaths. He felt awash with emotions. The words she was reading meant something to her, as if she was reading out what her heart felt.  
 _  
You showed me feelings I have never felt before, we're making enemies by knocking on the devils door, and how can you expect me not to eat?, when the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet._

Lord Melbourne wrapped his hand around her waist as she finished the final part of the poem.

 _Our hearts are to ruthless to break, let's start a fire for heaven's sake. For if we are sinners then it feels like heaven to me._

''Your voice faltered towards the end'' He spoke quietly in her ear, the book she now held down by her side.

''You distracted me'' Victoria looked up at him, her breath was short.

''The poem has an extreme likeness don't you think'' Lord Melbourne cupped her chin in his hand.

''Is what we have heavenly to you Lord M?''

''More than you could ever imagine ma'am'' Victoria gasped at his words. Melbourne took the opportunity to kiss her then.

William loved the way she almost melted into his actions her own inexperience showed her the trust she had in him. He heard the book drop to the floor as she stepped closer and wrapped her arms round his neck.

The kiss was slow and sensual, no eyes, no time limit, no pressure. They had that privacy they both so desperately wanted. He could feel her trying to deepen the kiss. He wanted to keep her waiting, but the reality is he didn't wish to wait either. Taking a lead he delicately asked permission to deepen the kiss, Victoria moaned into his mouth as she felt him pull her flush against his body, her hands gripping his arms as if clinging on to a life raft in the sea. William swallowed her moans as his hands travelled up and down her body, exploring the curves and features under all the fabric of her dress.

She felt weightless in his arms, She felt safe. Her hands found their way round his waist, under his tailcoat and up his back. She could feel the contours of his back through his shirt. He was very masculine under the fabric.

Victoria broke away from the kiss. Her breathing was heavy. William smiled at her.  
''It's very hot in here'' She spoke in almost a whisper.

''I feel there are too many clothes involved ma'am'' Victoria placed her head against his.

''I can hardly be undressed in here Lord M''

''Goodness no!'' He looked genuinely shocked at the statement. ''I would like to keep whatever is under those clothes a secret ma'am, for myself only''

His voice was deep and husky, it made her shudder.  
''I look forward to that day'' Victoria whispered

''So do I'' Lord Melbourne looked hungry all of a sudden as he sealed her mouth in another kiss. Victoria laughed as he picked the young queen up as if she was a doll and carried her towards the big doors in which they entered. Putting her down gently he held her in his arms and admired her beauty in the dim candle lights. 

''We should go somewhere more private'' Victoria grabbed his hand tightly

''As much as I love the idea ma'am I do not wish for you to regret anything''

''I would never do that Lord M'' and she tugged at his hand.

The pair left the ball room and headed back down the corridor.

\- 

''What do you think they are doing?'' Emma asked the two other ladies

''Enjoying being alone I would imagine, they spend very little time without eyes watching them'' Harriett answered.

''Do you believe they care for each other?'' Mrs Skerrett asked cautiously

''Of course'' Emma Spoke up ''The queen is utterly smitten, although she has never told us, her actions towards Lord Melbourne are plain to see to those who understand''

''Do you think they will marry?'' Mrs Skerrett asked

''Lord Melbourne would not allow it. He knows his place, and he knows the princes are on the trail for her. It must be very hard for him though'' 

''I do not think the queen would marry for anything other than love when she realises how happy it makes her'' Mrs Skerrett commented quietly. 

Both ladies looked at the dresser as she spoke truthfully. ''Do you think we should go and look for the queen?''

''No, leave them be'' Harriett continued ''They deserve it''

\- 

Victoria lead William into a large room. The roaring fire and lit candles cast the room in a warm glow. William found it difficult to train his eyes away from her body as he watched her sway from behind.

''These rooms are filled with so much character'' She smiled as she admired the room, the large bed laid at one end but the room was designed to be entertain people at the other.  
He watched the young queen wander about the room, touching every surface, admiring every window and piece of art.  
''You seem very fixated on me Lord M''

''I have never seen this side to you ma'am, it is a reminder of your youth. I am very fond of it''  
Victoria smiled as she walked towards him

''I always feel suppressed in the palace. Every corner I turn there is somebody there for me, waiting to propose a possible marriage, a question, a rule, or just to put doubts in my head'' She looked down at her feet.

''Yet you are the queen, and they are not ma'am''

''I feel sometimes you are the only one that supports me, although I am sure my ladies here are aware of my intentions''

Lord Melbourne raised his eyebrows. ''Intentions ma'am?''

''I wanted to be with you, alone, for as long as possible''

Lord Melbourne snaked his hand around her waist as he lead her over towards the fire place. They both sat side by side ''I enjoy your company ma'am, very much. But I do not wish to take things to far until you have met the princes'' He spoke cautiously but with an air of realism in his voice.

''Why ever not?'' Again her inexperience in this area was easy to see, although it did nothing but encourage him to admire her even more.

''You may change your mind when you meet the new princes. I do not want to lead you down a path of scandal for you to set your future with a possible husband on a bed of lies'' Melbourne looked into her eyes. Her face was etched with sadness. He felt terrible for lowering her uplifted mood, but he was well aware that this was going to be the best move for the pair of them.

''I do not remember the exact moment I fell in love with you'' Victoria shuffled herself to lay on his chest. ''But I do know that I will never look at another man in the same way again. I may be inexperienced but I am well aware of my love and devotion to you. No snobby prince is going to change that''

''I hope not ma'am, but I do not wish to put my own heart on the line to have it broken once again'' Victoria closed her eyes as she remembered what her parents had told her about Lord Melbourne. He wanted to avoid another scandal it was true, but she felt she had to earn his loyalty in order to prove herself. It was a funny position for her to be in, he was not pressuring her love and had not asked for anything, no, she wanted to prove to him, her devotion and love was so strong for him, but her trust in him was new, earning his trust would take time.

''I cannot live without you Lord M, I fear if you leave me, my heart will go as well'' She looked into his eyes as he looked into hers. ''What are you thinking? I fear I can never tell with you''

He quirked his lips up slightly before answering ''I am thinking, how did I get so lucky as to earn your devotion in such a way'' 

''You told me that when I gave my heart it would be without hesitation'' Victoria looked at him. 

''I remember''

''Well I did'' Victoria whispered.

William felt that she was capable of reading his un spoken emotions, she was so intelligent, so honest, and he believed her, in every way possible.

He pulled her towards him as he closed her mouth with his own, he held onto her tightly as if she would drift away if he let go. Victoria shuffled herself till she was sitting sideways on his lap, her dress made it difficult for her to get properly comfortable, but she felt a desire to be close, to be held. Loved.

William grasped her hair as he explored her mouth, holding her still by his hand he lifted her senses and put her skin on edge. His body beginning to melt under her submissive advances. She had no clue what she really wanted from him. Her education that not taken her that far. But she understood then that no book would do the complete devotion of a couple together in harmony justice.

William moved away from her slightly, gently he laid her down on her back, the warmth of the fire radiating onto them. The light shimmered over her skin, she was glowing, he admired her again, undone and unravelling by him, she was turned on, her body writhing underneath him, he had trapped her as he held his weight on top of her, she opened her mouth slightly as he moved down to kiss her, but he moved to her jaw and went around to nibble at her ear lobe.

Victoria giggled and sighed at his advances moving her hips towards his own upon instinct. He enjoyed seeing her like this, he was exploring her like a traveller would a new country. But it was a journey for the pair of them. Victoria did not know what she liked or did not like. He felt it an honour to explore these new senses with her.

Her moans and sighs became louder as her body became more and more alert. His hands travelled down her skirt as far as he could reach. He longed to feel her soft unseen skin that lied under her dress. He bit down on the base of her collar bone. Her body jumped to attention underneath him. 

Victoria began muttering to him, his name escaping her lips as her skin tingled with such sensations. She felt hot. There was an untold throbbing between her legs. She felt the desire to find some friction. Desperately trying to touch his groin with her own. He held her out of reach but did not stop his ministrations.

''William'' His name escaped her lips louder this time.  
''What do you want?'' He asked, his voice deep and husky, laced with his own arousal, he was curious to what she would say, how well she could read her own body. 

Her eyes where shining as she looked into his. Her breathing was deep and heavy, she wriggled underneath him.  
''Undress me''  
He almost choked on her words, sitting up he pulled her to her own feet and the pair made their way over to the bed. The large double poster bed was laid in silk sheets. The air was cooler over here, the loss of heat prickled her skin even more. Lord Melbourne turned her around. As he began to un button the back of her dress he kissed the newly exposed skin as he went, he reached the base of her corset as he kept unbuttoning the dress. He was not to fully undress her. He felt his resolve slipping now, but he knew he must hold out, for if he didn't and she left him he would be beside himself with regret.

Victoria stepped out of the dress, turning to face him he could see her breasts pushed up by the corset. Most of her body was still covered, but there was more to behold. He picked up the queen who was now free for her legs to do what they wanted. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he dropped her onto the bed, pulling him down with her. He laid there with her for a moment. 

''Your over dressed Lord M'' She said softly as her nimble fingers began to work at his cravat. She pulled the object away and laid it on the bed. Her fingers undone the small buttons right down to his groin where the shirt was pulled from his trousers. Victoria's hands ran up his chest, her eyes followed suit, admiring the new skin she had before her, the feeling of the hairs on his chest and his muscles on his abdomen. He enjoyed her touch, his hips grinding against her own. Victoria sighed and moaned, moving towards him, he grinned as her hands stopped and clutched onto the bed, her eyes closed as she found another pleasure. 

''It gets better'' He whispered against her ear.  
''Show me'' She said her breath caused her voice to falter. Her arousal was clear now, her hair a mess, the delicate necklace was askew from him kissing her neck, her lips where parted as she continued to revel in the senses.

His hand traced up her thigh, the stockings stopped above her knee. His hand feeling her bare skin beneath him. His arousal was growing as her hands traced along his trousers, trying to find the buttons to undo them. She was not aware of the affect it was having on him.

William shifted upwards slightly as his hand worked around the base of her corset. Victoria's eyes where closed as her hips moved in the direction of his hand, unknowingly asking for his hand to settle between her legs. Taking advantage of her closed eyes he placed a kiss to her raised breasts as he watched them rise and fall to her short breaths. Her eyes opened as her hand clasped in his hair momentarily before returning back to the bed.

''Your skin is like silk'' He murmured in her ear as his hand travelled to the base of her knickers. He was aware of how vocal she already was and as to not attract unwanted attention he sealed her mouth in another kiss as his hand ran down the centre of her underwear, he applied a small amount of pressure to the centre of her underwear and she moaned deeply into his mouth, nibbling on her bottom lip and he to groaned at her reaction. His own arousal was throbbing within his trousers, he felt desperate for some friction himself.

''Please'' she whispered, her eyes still closed. All her senses located in that one area. His hand continued its course, moving up and down. Following the line of her body. Victoria tried to close her legs together, desperate for more pleasure. She was not entirely sure what she was asking for. But the feelings she was experiencing where becoming more and more powerful.

Lord Melbourne on the other hand was beginning to loose control. He could feel the wetness through the fabric of her knickers. His resolve was breaking as the impulsion to give her what she wanted was becoming harder to deny. He was of course complied to obey her wishes, but he was not sure if she knew what she wanted.

His fingers deftly pulled her underwear towards the side as he traced the line of her woman hood. Victoria sighed as her hips lifted off the bed, guiding his hand to where she wanted him most. His fingers traced over her sensitive clit which she physically shuddered to the sensation. Melbourne shifted his position slightly as his own arousal became more and more uncomfortable, pressing himself towards her hip Victoria could feel the hardness through his trousers. Her hand loosened off its grip of the bed as her curiosity peaked. He felt her hand move up the base of his leg until it ghosted over his crotch. He moaned her name in a deep baritone that Victoria had never heard from his mouth.

His hand applied more pressure as he slowly eased a finger inside of her. Covering her mouth with his own Victoria cried out, but he did not feel it was a cry of pain, but one of pleasure. She continued to writhe underneath his touch. He moved his finger within her his experience against her own inexperience meant he could control her levels of pleasure through his actions. He could feel her body tightening to his ministrations, she was right on the edge of an orgasm. Melbourne held her there for a moment, he could feel her hand tracing him through his trousers. She looked at him, her eyes awash with desire for him. ''Please'' she whispered.

She had submitted completely, and this time William knew what she was asking him for. As he traced his fingers over her clit her fists clenched on the bed as her orgasm peaked. Her body stilled for a moment as she revelled in the bliss.

Melbourne placed a delicate kiss on her lips as he hovered over her, her eyes fluttered open to look straight into his own. His own discomfort seemed to disappear in that moment.

''I never knew such pleasure even existed'' Victoria said as she linked her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her mouth. She took charge for a moment, deepening the kiss the way the lord did with her, she was a fast learner, it was a pleasing thought. He pulled away for a second whilst pressing his own groin in towards hers.

''It gets better ma'am'' He said softly before kissing below her left ear. Victoria then remembered, during the fleeting lessons and gossiping of the women in the household the love between a man and a woman was completed by them joining together. Her knowledge in this subject, as small as it was revealed to her that William had not received the same amount of pleasure.

''I would like you to show me'' Melbourne raised his head from her neck.  
''I do not think that is wise ma'am, we have gone too far already'' He wasn't very convincing, the hesitation towards his own pleasure was clear in his voice. 

''I disagree, I want to please you William, I will not have any regrets or hesitation''  
Melbourne swallowed, he desperately wanted to be a part of her. But the future was already a worry to him, completing the act now would no doubt entail his heart to her completely. _Give over you fool, your head over heels for her_. The thought clouded his head. What did he have to loose, even if it was only the once.

Victoria's hands traced down to his trousers, his silent authorisation inclined her to undo the buttons. Melbourne rolled himself off of her, sitting up he took off his shoes and discarded his trousers and underwear. As he turned back towards her on the bed Victoria's eyes fell down to his groin. He could tell the queens reservation then. The fear of pain or discomfort.

Leaning back towards her he encouraged her to look back into his eyes. The reservation disappeared. She wanted him, he moved on top of her as he sealed her mouth in a hot and hungry kiss. He allowed his own desire to take hold this time, it felt good, to finally be able to loose that control he had so desperately clung on to.

His hand moved back down between her legs, finding her knickers he pulled them off of her legs before placing himself between them. Positioning himself at her entrance he slowly eased himself into her. The slight discomfort on her face was evident, her mouth agape at the feeling of being full and complete. The pain quickly subsided and turned to pleasure, Victoria saw the permissive look in his eyes, she couldn't speak. She felt a sense of belonging then. No regret or fear of the unknown.

Melbourne lowered his head towards hers and whispered to her ''Are you ok?'' His eyes searching hers for an answer. To his relief she smiled lovingly at him before whispering back ''Yes''  
Melbourne breathed a sigh of relief as he began to move his hips, Victoria felt the sensation slightly overwhelming as her body adjusted to the movements. She began to meet her pace to his and the pair moved in perfect harmony. 

William felt overwhelmed by the emotions inside of him. She engulfed him. He was well aware of the rules they where breaking how much trouble they could be in. But there they were, together.

Victoria's moans became louder as her body began to contract around him. He placed his head in the small of her neck and moaned against her skin, whispering her name into her shoulder as the pair neared their release. They both reached their orgasms together. Victoria cried out as her orgasm ripped through her body, breaking down every barrier that she had inside of her. It was nothing she had ever imagined possible. He placed his weight above of her, when the pair regained their composure slightly William gradually pulled away from her.

They laid side by side together for a few moments. Listening to each other's breathing. Victoria cuddled into his frame as the cold air nipped at her arms and her bare legs. William grabbed a throw that was folded over the bed and covered the pair of them.

''So let's be sinners to be saints'' Melbourne looked at Victoria as her eyes had closed, she opened them again. With a look of pure love on her face.

''Do you have any regrets?'' Victoria asked him holding her lip between her teeth

''Why ever would you say such a thing?'' Melbourne looked shocked at the statement.

''I fear my inexperience made you hesitant'' Victoria looked down at her hand which was running up and down his chest.

''Never'' He said firmly ''Do you remember that day at Brocket hall?''

''I will never forget it'' A touch of sadness in her voice hurt him a little

''Well, when you gave me your heart I believe I gave you mine. Even though I felt it in your best interests not to, I found myself unable not to'' Melbourne ran a hand through her dishevelled hair. ''And whatever happens in the future, you will always have my heart''

Tears fell down Victoria's face. ''I cannot imagine for a better person to spend my days with'' Victoria pressed her head against his chest as Melbourne kissed the top of her head.

Melbourne knew that the reality of them living happily ever after was depressingly slim. But he had given her his heart in return for hers. He would stick by her as if vowed in marriage.

''Can we not live here, away from the eyes, crowds and the judgement'' Victoria said quietly, bringing him out of his train of thought.

''I wish ma'am'' He held her tight for a moment '' We should probably go and find your ladies, they will be gossiping''

Victoria sighed her disappointment.

''We still have another day and a half here'' Melbourne could feel her mood

''I only have 2 wishes'' Victoria sat up beside him.

''What are they?''

''I wish to go riding around the grounds''

''So do I ma'am, I have never done so''

''And I wish to dance with you, in that amazing ball room we stumbled across''

''I am glad we did stumble across it'' He smiled wickedly at her only to have her laugh in return.

The pair dressed and arranged themselves correctly again. Victoria took her hair down in an attempt to try and re arrange it correctly.

''I trust my ladies would not gossip about me under wrong intentions'' Victoria looked at herself in the large mirror

''They are most likely gossiping now, we have been gone a good couple of hours''

''For the next day or so we have all the time in the world'' 

''Indeed Lord M'' Victoria smiled at him lovingly as the pair walked out of the room. William could not help but look down at the queen as she moved through the hall ways. They stumbled across the picture of Elizabeth again.

''I feel if I can be as happy with you on companionship without marriage then the need to marry is almost pointless. If such companionship is with so much loyalty and dedication then why would anybody have a reason to be unhappy?'' Victoria looked at her lover. His head tilted and eye brows raised at her statement.

''Very true ma'am, very true''

 _ **Song lyrics come from Lauren Aquilina – Sinners. I felt the lyrics suited the couple perfectly. Thanks for reading. The honey moon phase will not last forever sadly..**_


	5. Small Mercies

**Small Mercies  
**

Victoria opened her eyes to the morning sunshine seeping through the gap in the curtains. She awoke instantly. Springing out of bed she walked over to the huge window and looked across the castle grounds. The huge lake shimmered in the morning sunlight, the ducks and swans made for a perfect picture. Victoria pondered on the thought of painting the image.

''Morning ma'am'' Mrs Skerrett entered through the door. Victoria turned and smiled to the dresser.

''Good Morning Miss Skerrett. I trust you slept well?''

''Very well ma'am, the beds are all to comfy here''

''I do not remember the last time I felt this refreshed after a night's sleep'' Victoria walked across the room with a spring in her step.

''You look very revitalised ma'am, it's nice to see''

\- 

Victoria basked in the winters sunshine, as she sat beside the lake, painting what she saw in the mornings window. Her love of Windsor was growing by the minuite. She took a deep breath in, feeling the cool air hit her lungs, crystal clear, no noise of London, no smoke or strong smells. Just the countryside.  
Victoria of course loved London, it was a far cry from what she was living like in Kensington, but the peace and quiet of the country castle was a relief. But it was more than the location. Victoria felt relieved to be away from her family, and the pressures that her job entailed with it.

As Melbourne made his way down the lawn towards the pond he saw the ladies all sitting beside each other, a fair distance from Victoria who was almost on the edge of the pond, he could see the queen was deep in concentration about something, he feared the worst.

''What is the matter ladies?'' Melbourne asked with a curious tone ''You have distanced yourself from the queen, is she ok?''

''Yes'' Emma spoke first ''Victoria seems the happiest we have ever seen her at. Something has most certainly lifted her spirits'' Emma eyed William carefully

''Well I suppose getting away from London, even just for a few days is better than nothing'' Harriett responded

''I feel the queen is happiest when she is away from her own family'' Eliza chipped in. ''She was admiring the view this morning and decided to paint what was before her''

''Does the queen not wished to be disturbed?'' Lord Melbourne asked.

''The queen will never be disturbed by you'' Emma nodded towards Victoria as if to sub consciously push him towards her.

Melbourne began his walk down to the waters edge. The closer he got the better the view, he could understand why Victoria was painting the beautiful image.

''Do you think there is something going on between them?'' Harriett asked ''I mean intimately?''

''Who knows'' Emma answered ''I would of thought that William would have been wiser than that. But I have seen the way they look at each other, I suppose what we know is all we will ever know''

''We are obliged to keep this a secret though?'' Eliza asked with concern ''The queen is so happy now, I would feel awful if we where to tell her susceptive relatives, they will only destroy it''

''Of course not!'' Emma spoke sharply. ''If the queen is happy now then that is our secret. We do not know what has been happening between the two of them so we should all'' She looked over to the two ladies ''Play ignorant''

The women all smiled in agreement.

''If only the world was more simple'' Eliza felt the heart ache for the couple.

\- 

''The view is quite something isn't it ma'am'' Victoria turned quickly at the sudden voice breaking through the quiet. William went to grab her before laughing. ''Your very close to the edge ma'am, I would hate to see you fall in''

Victoria laughed, maybe you should not startle me then'' She turned back towards the lake. The birds where coming alive in the tree tops as the ducks and swans floated about on the waters edge.

William sat down beside the queen, placing his hands in his lap he watched the woman re create the scenery on the paper before her.

''Your very talented ma'am, Its hard for someone to create something of the minds eye as well as the visual movement in front of you''

''I feel as though I have seen this picture many times. When I awoke to it this morning I felt a strong desire to paint it. For when I look back at it the memories are flooded on the paper''

''Very true ma'am'' William stayed quiet for a moment ''Should I leave you to it?, your ladies are sitting a fair distance away from you''

Victoria looked at him ''No, I enjoy your company very much Lord M. Please stay''

''If that is what you wish ma'am'' The pair enjoyed the silence for a good while. The sounds around them engulfed their minds with the tranquil bliss.  
''What are your intentions for the rest of the day'' 

''I have already made a plan for this evening'' She smiled at him warmly at his surprised expression.

''Well I shall do whatever you wish ma'am, we do have to attend to the royal boxes when they arrive''

''Of course'' She said whilst focusing on a shading of the waters surface ''It has become a more positive experience of late''

''Whys that?'' Melbourne looked at the queen who was still deep in her painting

''I feel as though I do not have to tread on egg shells in the hope of doing the right thing. I have the guidance I have and no doubt will always need''

''You will not need so much guidance once your experience grows ma'am'' Melbourne realised the truth in his own words

''Everybody need's guidance Lord M'' Victoria turned to him and smiled

The pair sat in comfortable conversation as Victoria finished the piece. ''There'' She stood and looked proud of her work. ''What do you think?''

Melbourne rose to stand from the queens point of view ''What an incredible piece of art ma'am, you have many talents'' He spoke from behind her shoulder.

''It is so nice to be able to just sit and…enjoy what's in front of me''

''Kensington was set in an incredible area ma'am, are you fond of the grounds there?'' 

''I would not know, I hardly left the house, and when I did go outside I had someone with me at all times, as if I may run away somewhere else, I felt like a dog, trapped in a cage'' Victoria started packing her paints away correctly and cleaning the brushes.

''I suppose the palace is a welcomed relief then'' Melbourne watched her delicately place things back into their rightful box.

''No'' She said quickly '' I felt it would be you see…but… im watched all the time, I have no privacy or time away to reflect on anything. Its so hard sometimes Lord M''

For the first time since leaving the palace he saw the sad/ stressful expression etched across her face and once again had nothing but admiration for how incredibly brave she was at her age.

''Shall we?'' He held out his arm and Victoria took it kindly, the pair walked along the rim of the lake.

-  
''The queen is incredibly talented'' Mrs Skerrett admired the painting that still stood on the stand

''She has always had a huge passion for her art work'' Emma commented.

The ladies watched the pair walk arm in arm back towards the castle.

-

Victoria signed her name down for the final time.  
''Well ma'am, I believe that is a success''

''What is?'' Victoria eyed him over her tea cup.

''The boxes are finished, no country dependant news upon your shoulders, and it's a beautiful day'' Melbourne eyed the window.

''Should we go riding?'' Victoria spoke his own thoughts

-

''I fear when I return to the palace I will be inundated with work again'' Melbourne could hear the monarchs worry.

''You will have my help and guidance ma'am, whatever they throw at you we can handle it together'' Victoria smiled at Melbourne 

''I could not think of a better person to be my priminister'' Victoria looked knowingly over to her.

''But you do know that if we keep this companionship up then I will have to resign, for if a scandal was to be leaked to the papers and us exposed, me still being your priminister would make the matters so much worse''

''It will not come to that Lord M'' But Victoria could hear the doubt in her own voice. ''I have to think of a way to handle my Uncle Leopold when I return, his visit is sure to bring the pressure of marriage along with it. I believe he has a prince that he thinks will suit me''

''I have to remain quiet ma'am, for any behaviour of mine towards your future will increase suspicions, are you going to talk to your ladies?''

''I might do, but I have faith that what they see will not go any further, that's why I didn't invite Lehzen I know she gossips to the household'' 

''Wise move ma'am''

''Will things change when we return to the palace?'' Victoria looked at her partner

''It will be less open ma'am yes, but the privacy will obviously be harder to maintain'' 

''We should make the most of the time we have here then'' Victoria smiled with a sparkle in her eye.

''I have no objections'' He retaliated.

-

William sat in a chair beside the window in his room, a glass of brandy in his hand he was deep in thought. The knock at the door startled him, turning he saw Emma enter the room.

''I have a message from the queen'' Emma said in a formal voice walking over to him. ''Her majesty would like you to meet her in the ball room in 15 minutes''

''Thankyou Emma'' The lady went to say something else but stopped herself before turning and walking out of the room.

-

William walked into the ball room, every candle was shining bright casting the room in a warm glow, the mirrors reflected the light onto the polished floor and art work situated around the walls. The room was the beating heart of the castle itself. Melbourne stopped to admire the centrepiece situated in the middle of the room.

Victoria stood in the middle of the room, a dark purple dress with no sleeves or neck exposed her silk like skin to the light of the room. The jewel in the middle of the dress shimmered in the light as she moved. He began walking towards her. Her hair done up beautifully to show off her neck and face. The dresser had put a lot of effort into her attire this evening probably at the queens demand.

''Your staring Lord M'' Victoria stated playfully  
''Forgive me ma'am, but you are a vision to look at'' He saw the blush creep up her face, could she be any more beautiful?

The two stood together, realistically only a few seconds, but it felt like hours. They where alone, nobody watching or assessing their admiration for each other, just for tonight. This, is what he would call a small mercy.

''It will be strange dancing without music'' He stated.  
''Who said we will be dancing without music?'' Confusion spread across her face as it did his.

Victoria looked over to the corner of the room and as Melbourne followed her train of sight he saw a servant sitting at a huge piano.

''Was that there yesterday?'' He asked her, in half surprise, how could you miss something that large? He admired the instrument

''No'' She laughed a little, I had it brought in just for tonight''

The keys of the piano where touched, the sound echoed across the whole room, each corner and angle of the walls bounced the melodies off. Suddenly they didn't feel alone, the music filled the large silent room, the mood changed.

Melbourne snaked his hand around his waist and he felt her back straighten to his touch, taking her hand they began to move about the room.  
Every inch of the floor was covered by the pair of them, as they moved around the room, taking advantage of the space, their eyes where locked onto each other. It was astounding how well they moved together, how they never missed a beat or stumbled into each other. Victoria felt safe in his arms, she followed his steps with such accuracy every piano chord struck signalled their steps to change. The music was beautiful, but not nearly as beautiful as she was. 

''I could dance with you all night'' Victoria whispered to him.

Melbourne tightened his hand around her waist and pulled her closer to him before whispering ''If I am within your company I am happy'' 

Once the last cord was touched they stopped in their tracks. William reluctantly loosened his grip on the queen and kissed her hand once more, stepping further away from the young woman. Victoria turned to the servant who stepped aside the piano and bowed, before walking towards the doors and quietly leaving.

''Is that all you wanted ma'am'' William asked curiously

''There are many things I want Lord M, some of them I will most likely never be able to have'' She looked at Melbourne who dropped his head. Of course she understood. ''But'' She continued ''There are a few things I could have right now'' His head shot up, her eyes sparkled under the candle light but even more so as their thoughts traced down the same path.

Melbourne wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her up into the air, she cried with laughter as she dropped her head to his and placed a long kiss on his lips, he slipped her back down to the floor before trying to find her body under the extravagant dress.

''Are all these layers really necessary in such circumstances?'' He mocked his own annoyance towards her.  
''No, I quite agree'' She held out her hand, he grabbed it and guided her towards the door.

A part of him felt a little silly behaving like a teenage boy. But she made him feel this way, it was as if a new life was pushed into him when she was around. He embraced the behaviour. She restored happiness into him.  
There was of course the doubt clear in his mind that once they returned to 'real life' things would obviously change again. But that hurdle was yet to appear. So for now..

He pinned the young queen underneath him on his bed, holding her head still he sealed her in a hungry, passionate kiss, as if she held the last breath he would breath. For tonight they had each other. And that was yet another small mercy he had to treasure. 


	6. Back To Reality

**Back To Reality**

William's eyes opened slowly, adjusting to his surroundings he blinked a few times before trying to sit up, it was then that he realised he had someone laying against him. Looking down he saw Victoria sleeping soundly beside him. His senses suddenly awoke.

She looked so peaceful, laying there, her hair loose behind her as her head was rested against his side. He could feel her naked skin against his own. He remembered last night then. What pleasure it had entailed. It excited him a little. Remembering the small details his mind had pocketed away, the feel of her skin, the sight of her naked body, how good she felt under his hands as she responded to his advances.

But that was not the only thing that was going through his mind. Victoria must have slept with him all night, it was very early, the sun was just rising through the opened curtains. Her ladies must know where she was. What would they be saying, would they be exposed when they returned to the palace. He felt panicked, like a deer in head lights. His worst fear was that Victoria was turned into a disreputable queen due to their own desires.

Melbourne could feel her stirring beside him. He saw her eyes flutter open, squinting against the morning sunshine she went to sit up. It was clear she was aware of where she was and what had happened. Her eyes caught his, she looked beautiful there beside him.

''Good morning'' Victoria cuddled against him as the pair sat up against the head board. Just like a married couple would some mornings. ''What a beautiful sunrise'' Victoria eyed the sun coming over the rolling hills of the horizon. The deep colours of the morning sun captivated her as they reflected into her soul.

Grabbing his robe, she hopped out of bed and covered herself next to the window. ''Isn't it just beautiful'' The admiration was clear in her voice, even though he could not see her face

''It is beautiful'' he agreed, his voice still deep from his slumber ''I feel I am looking at something more beautiful though''

Victoria turned and smiled at him, walking back towards the bed he could see the crease of her naked body under his robe, it covered her from head to toe, it was to big for her, but it suited her.  
She climbed back into bed beside him.

''Your ladies will be gossiping this morning''

''Im sure they have been gossiping since we have been here, but I picked them carefully as I trust they will not speak of the events from our retreat'' Victoria sounded confident.

''Im not entirely convinced ma'am''

''Do not worry yourself, I will speak to them in private before we leave. But I trust my ladies will not say anything against my own judgement. It would not be hard to pick the people out that gossiped either''

He agreed by humming ''You have given this a lot of thought; did you plan this?'' A slight tone of teasing was in his voice.

''I didn't plan everything'' She spoke honestly ''But I did not want us to be watched or advised at all, my ladies know their positions, they are my friends as well as my employees'' Victoria straddled him. ''Anyway'' Her tone changed ''I could think of many other things we could do before facing my ladies''

His smile matched her own as he sealed his mouth in a kiss, she had him pinned beneath her, his hands snaked up her naked legs and gripped her hips as she moved against his groin through the sheets. Her confidence was growing with him. He liked it.

William's hands moved up to her shoulders, discarding the robe from her body. He pulled away from her lips to admire her bare in the daylight, she did not seem shy about her body's appearance to him.

As he moved his hand up between her breasts she arched her back to his touch, her body moved to his very hand, as if he controlled her at her own sweet will. His arousal was growing at the sight of her.  
Pushing against Victoria she fell back to the bed laughing playfully as he turned the tables and laid on top of her, grabbing both her hands and pinning them above her head with his own he began using his mouth to explore the unseen features of her body, he started at her breasts. They where small and plump, her nipples erect from the chilled air in the room. His tongue snaked over one, causing her to whine and lift herself off the bed. He could feel her pulling against his hand, trying to free herself.

He took the nipple in his mouth, his expert tongue worked her breast into a taught bud which stood to attention. Her moans vibrated through her body as she began to sigh his name, he repeated the action with the other breast, freeing her hands from his own he felt them clasp into his hair, grabbing chunks of it as to keep his mouth against her skin, working her senses to their peak.

Her hips moved against his chest, desperate for some friction further down, his mouth moved across her stomach, tasting and feeling every inch of her skin. He looked up from his position, her mouth was open as she sighed and moaned, she was vocal.

She could feel his smile against her stomach, he was pleased with her reactions, she found she wanted to please him. Her skin was on edge, her senses alerted. Every bit of skin he touched could have been on fire, she did not feel the cold anymore, only him.

She moaned as his hand slipped between her thighs, parting her legs on his silent asking, exposing herself to him as he continued to toy with her, teasing her. He knew how to wind her up, his experienced hands turned her body to jelly.

Her annoyance was growing by the second. She lifted her hips off the bed, silently trying to guide him to where she wanted him the most, her whimpers where growing louder.

''For goodness sake, just get on with it'' She suddenly shouted. Her arousal was clear in her voice, he could feel her wetness on his fingers as he moved his head up to hers, she opened her eyes and looked straight into his.

''Patience is a virtue'' He said quietly, grinning at her disapproving glare.

''I shall remember that'' She spat back at him in a playful manner.

Sealing her mouth in a burning, hungry kiss he inserted a finger inside of her. He muffled her moan of pleasure as he began to work her delicately with his hand, her body moved to his advances, meeting his motion with such accuracy, she knew what was coming, how good it felt, how he got her to that point of no return. Her new experiences excited her. She was not prepared to wait yet, it was all to new to her.

As he released her mouth, swollen and red she tilted her head back onto the bed, exposing her neck to him, he made quick work of the gesture and began nipping and sucking just under her ear lobe.  
His erection was pushing against her hip, he too was craving friction. William groaned into her neck as her hand reached down and began handling his cock, she listened carefully to his reactions, and felt his own pleasure take over when his intent ministrations on her slowed slightly. He began to lose all focus on his advances as she worked him. But he was not finished with her yet. He wanted more of her.

He moved away from her hand slightly, just so she was unable to reach him.  
''What's the matter?'' Her voice etched with confusion  
''You cannot expect me to focus if you keep doing that now surely?'' His voice was deep, it did things to her.

She smiled inwardly ''Patience'' Her voice mocked him. He only grunted in response as he positioned himself between her legs.

Sex with this woman was all together different, not because of her status of power. There was more to it than that, it shared a new level of feeling. The pair felt it mutually. Her own inexperience was her personal gain, for sex to her was filled with un describable pleasure, sharing such intimate moments with the one who she desired the most. But to Melbourne, it had so much more meaning to it. He had many years of being alone behind him. Sex was meaningless to him before, but now, he felt he craved her as much as she did him.

The novelty of the situation would never wear away. Every time they shared any sexual experiences it stoked the fire between them. For they where just two ordinary people there and then. No status would change that.

The sweat from their heated bodies began to intensify. Her cries of pleasure where becoming louder as his movements became more erratic. He moaned her name into her shoulder as they both found their release. The room fell silent as the couple laid still. The only noises where their heavy breaths against one another. Victoria wrapped her arms around his back, clinging to him as he moved over to her side. They lay there for a while, cuddled together. Both half asleep from their passionate experience.

The cold air began to bite at Victoria's skin once again. Pulling away from his embrace she wrapped herself and Melbourne in a blanket.

''I do not want to leave'' Victoria looked into his eyes, he could see her saddening expression. He kissed her forehead.

''Back to reality'' He spoke quietly ''Are you hungry?''

''Starving'' She spoke quickly.

The pair dressed themselves, enjoying somewhat meaningless conversations.

''I would like to go for a walk around the grounds before I leave, after speaking to my ladies''

''Im sure there will be time for that ma'am''

''You will join me?'' She wrapped her hands around his neck, holding him close.

''Of course'' He smiled at her

Victoria and Melbourne walked into the dining room, a table of breakfast options laid out before them, Victoria immediately went for some toasted bread before taking her seat beside Melbourne.

''Your ladies are not around yet?''

''No'' Victoria said slightly bewildered ''I was expecting them to be here by now'' Just as she finished her sentence the 3 women walked into the room, bowing respectively when they saw her sitting at the table.

''Good morning Your Majesty'' Emma spoke up first ''I trust you slept well'' The atmosphere in the room changed, Victoria could tell that the ladies where choosing their words carefully.

''Yes, thankyou Emma, have you all enjoyed yourselves?''

''Oh yes ma'am, it has been lovely to get away from the palace for a few days'' Harriett chirped, Victoria noticed Mrs Skerrett standing quietly, looking at anywhere but at the queen.

''What about you Mrs Skerrett'' The young girl looked at the queen as her name was mentioned.

''Yes ma'am'' She spoke quietly ''it's been a welcomed change''  
Melbourne could sense the elephant in the room, he knew Victoria would not discuss their private business with him around.

''Excuse me ma'am but I must go and make sure everything is packed accordingly, I wouldn't want to leave anything behind'' He made a quick exit with Victoria's nod of approval.

Emma watched him leave, she debated on following him but thought better of it.

''Im sorry'' Victoria spoke up ''I have put you 3 in a difficult position''  
The ladies looked at one another, knowing what the reference was regarding. ''I had to choose my company carefully you see, I did not want for any gossip to return to the palace, I am spoken about enough now. But I trust the 3 of you implicitly''

''What has gone on here ma'am is your business, we have no right to interfere or to tell others'' Emma smiled reassuringly at Victoria who breathed an inward sigh of relief.

''But you do know that your family are trying to find matches for you, in the hope you will marry. Are you still intending to?''

''I have no intention of marrying anyone yet'' Her tone was firm and decisive.

''I do not believe you should marry anyone whom you do not love'' Mrs Skerrett spoke up. She eyed the queen in a confident manner.

''I quite agree'' She smiled at her dresser.

At that moment Victoria felt very grateful to have such trustworthy ladies surrounding her, despite her initial doubts she had faith that they would stick to their word and abide by her wishes of secrecy.

Mrs Skerrett took the queen to change her dress and sort her hair. The two older ladies where stood by the window.

''I would of thought William would have had more preservation than that'' Harriett whispered

''I believe the queen had her sights set on him before hand, she doesn't give up on something she wants. But im worried for her future, surely Melbourne knows that he cannot marry her'' Emma replied.

'There would be a huge upheaval, imagine the government, he is her priminister, he has no royal attachments other than his job to her'' Harriett agreed.

''Do you think I should speak to him?'' Emma asked her friend

''It wouldn't do any harm to know where he stands, it would put us in a better position of understanding''

''I just hope that it doesn't put us in an uncomfortable position'' Emma replied with a worried tone, she left the room in search of Melbourne.

''Do you look badly upon me?'' The queen asked Mrs Skerrett

''Its not my position to say ma'am'' The dresser replied cautiously

''But im asking you'' The queen's tone was firm

''Then no ma'am, I do not. If you care for Lord Melbourne the way that you appear to then I fail to see what you have done wrong, if you where not a queen you would have pursued a relationship with him, I cannot see why it should be any different'' Mrs Skerrett answered.

Victoria felt a surge of relief wash through her. ''Thankyou'' Her relief evident in her voice. The dresser smiled and bowed before leaving her in peace.

''Your playing with fire'' Emma spoke from the doorway, causing Melbourne to half jump at her voice.

He turned around and sighed at her ''You don't need to remind me of that'' He gestured for Emma to sit down.

''What exactly is your plan then?'' Her interest peaked

''I do not have one'' He spoke honestly ''I never predicted this''

''She is besotted with you, you know that don't you?''

''I fear I am the same Emma'' Melbourne replied honestly. Emma felt a touch of sympathy for him in that moment

''Why are you so worried then? Aside from the obvious.''

''Because of how young she is Emma, she may meet somebody else and realise just what I cannot offer her''

''Which is what?'' Emma asked

''Marriage, a family, a supporting public'' He tilted his head, his worries had been inside his head the whole time, but saying them out loud made them even more realistic.

Emma clasped a hand on his, ''What will you do if that happens?''

''Stand aside obviously'' He lifted his head slightly ''I will not stand in the way of her success and happiness''

Emma felt bad for asking such questions. She could see how much Victoria meant to him, how happy he seemed to be around her. ''Treasure the time you have with her, from my point of view it will be hard for anyone to offer her what you have already offered her. She is always talking about you, or waiting for you to arrive, I believe she likes you more than she realises herself'' She smiled at the lord's slight surprise.

He clasped her hands in his, squeezing his friends hand tightly ''What time does your carriage leave?''

''2pm I believe, why?''

''The queen wishes to walk the grounds before we leave'' Melbourne sighed at the realism he was facing, at 2pm it would go back to the way it was before they left for Windsor, now his own admiration for her was on the table he found it harder to hide his feelings towards her, hiding them in front of so many speculating eyes would be harder now, especially if her heart was turned to another.

''Im sure she is waiting for you then'' Emma stood and began walking towards the door, Melbourne followed her.

''I felt my ladies understood my position'' Victoria spoke through the silence. The couple where walking on a well-groomed woodland track. Melbourne could see the way her dress swayed from side to side against the ground. Her arm in his as the castle disappeared.

Melbourne was not going to discuss Emma's visit to the him, he did not feel it would give her much confidence.

''I struggle to trust some people ma'am, but I believe your ladies support your happiness, or at least I hope they do''

''My dresser seemed to think the same way as I did, she repeated what I had been thinking for the last few weeks, although she is more my age. I underestimated her I think''

''The best people are always out of sight for a while, they tend to show through when you need them the most'' William looked down at the queen.

The pair admired the scenery. It was such a far cry from the hustle and bustle of London.

''I have changed my mind about this place'' She looked at him a smiled ''I believed it would be like Kensington. But it is so much more than that''

''In what way ma'am?''

''I don't know'' She spoke honestly ''I feel as though I have more freedom here, im not so… contained''

''It is not the environment that you live in ma'am, it's the people you are surrounded by''

''How true Lord M…how true''

The mood was a strange one, the ladies could sense it to. Going back to the palace would change their relationship slightly. They could not express their emotions or friendship so boldly there for fear of judgement. But with the prospect of marriage being burdened onto Victoria's shoulders the couple knew that they would be separated further for a while. It was a saddening thought.

''Do you know what you are going to wear to the costume ball?'' Victoria spoke with a chirp in her voice ''I have decided to go as Elizabeth, I feel it's fitting given my current…predicament''

''I have a strong idea yes ma'am… you don't mean to suggest that im a predicament, do you?'' He teased her playfully.

She swatted his arm, ''Of course not. Besides if you're a predicament then so am I'' A smile crept up her face as she looked him in the eye. Victoria turned her head around as she stopped once more, she took a deep breath of the clear air.

''I am going to miss this place, I have only been here a few days, but it feels like...well...years. So much has happened'' She looked at Melbourne ''For the better'' She added quickly ''But I feel I will be sadder than ever when I return''

''Whys that?'' He asked with genuine curiosity, nobody wanted to return to a stressful situation, he knew that she was wise enough to know her obligation to her country. But it wasn't just her royal duties that was bothering her state of mind.

''I know what I want, is what I have, right now. I feel like going back to Buckingham palace will … well... take it away again. But I cannot do anything about it''

''Its true that what people do not know they cannot involve themselves in, and that we will have to be careful about what we say and well … do'' She smiled at him ''But that doesn't mean anything will change ma'am, you just have to remember what you know, and not what other people know'' He clasped her gloved hands. ''Besides, there will be some periods where you will be alone with me im sure''

Her smile mimicked his own. As he squeezed her hands tightly the couple headed back towards the castle to begin their journey back to the palace.

Windsor had been a place of retreat and relaxation for Victoria, she felt positive and refreshed by the new experience the castle had given her. It would be treasured in her heart during those stressful days ahead, things are about to change, but, she thought to herself, I intend to make it for the better.

 _ **Slightly shorter due to lack of time. But it ends the honeymoon phase as they say. I like dragging things out anyway!**_ _**Thanks for reading**_


	7. Self Control

**Self-Control**

The carriages slowed up as they reached the door way to Buckingham palace. Victoria felt nervous all of a sudden.  
Her heart was pounding in her chest, she felt that Lord Melbourne could see it, beating away under her dress. Her faltered breath was noticed by him though and he clasped her hand and smiled at her. A silent reassurance that it was going to be ok.

As the door opened Melbourne quickly climbed out the other side, walking round the carriage he clasped her hand as she stepped down the steps onto the ground. He released her and stepped back. Victoria wanted him close, she wanted to take his hand and walk up the hall ways, to feel his warm, reassuring body against hers. 

She felt rather childish thinking in such a manner. They had been at Windsor for less than 3 days, but so much has changed in that time. The calm relaxed environment was gone, Victoria could feel the tense anticipation in the air as she walked up the steps, her ladies and Lord M in tow behind her. 

The doors opened to the grand hall ways. The palace was so much more modern than Windsor, but not in a good way she felt. Victoria carried on her trek through the halls. Waiting there was her mother, and her baroness.

''Drina'' Her mother exclaimed with happiness ''I am so glad to see you, the palace has not been the same without you'' Her mother embraced her in a hug, Victoria complied with the affections but did not feel the action to be heart felt.

''I have missed you to mama'' Victoria lied through her fake smile ''But Windsor was a beautiful place, it has refreshed me''

''You look so much better Majesty'' Lehzen spoke up. Victoria smiled warmly at her housekeeper as she bowed.

''Thank you Lehzen. I trust everything is set up for the costume ball?'' Victoria clasped her hands together at her waist, she felt a sudden rush of excitement as she thought of dancing in his arms again, being held, despite the number of eyes that will be watching, she would still be in his arms.

''Yes'' Baroness replied quickly ''Everything is being set up accordingly, and your costume is ready'' Victoria beamed at her when she heard the statement.

''I cannot wait to see it''

''Drina, I must inform you that I have invited your dear Uncle Leopold over, he will be attending the dance tonight'' 

''I thought he was not going to arrive until after the ball?'' Victoria felt the familiar feel of betrayal against her word come up from inside her. 

''I asked him to come sooner, I miss him so. You are aware he is bringing two of your cousins over?''

''Yes mama, which is exactly why I did not want to see them until after the ball. I was hoping to enjoy who I dance with, not be forced to dance with potential husbands'' Her tone caused a look of disapproval to cross her mother's face. 

''I am not discussing this with you now Drina, but the clock is ticking, you must marry soon'' Victoria walked off at the statement, leaving her mother standing in the corridors alone.

-

The ladies followed the queen into her chambers, but the priminister didn't, he stood at the doorway respectively and waited for the queen's eyes to land on him.

''Whatever are you doing Lord M, come in here'' She laughed a little at his action.

''I am sorry ma'am, but I really must be heading back, I have some things that need attending to before the ball tonight''

Victoria suddenly felt very cold and alone, she had spent the last few days either his arms or in his company, he had rarely been away from her. She felt silly for reacting in such a way, but had no control over how to handle it. ''Ladies, will you leave us for a few minutes'' Victoria said quietly. 

Harriett and Emma eyed each other as they bowed and left the room alongside the other unsuspecting ladies that had joined her.  
Melbourne walked into the room and faced the young queen.

''I feel rather strange Lord M''

''In what way ma'am, are you ill?'' The worried tone in his voice caused him to take a step closer and hold her hands gently.

''No, no nothing like that'' She assured him ''I do not want you to leave, I do not want to be without you''

Melbourne could relate to how she was feeling, because he to felt the same, the only difference was in his experience over the years he could handle these feelings, but she, could not. These where all new to her. ''I know ma'am, I do not wish to leave either, but you know that I must leave''

She nodded at him in agreeance. Taking a step closer, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him. He mimicked her actions as he clasped her close to his body. She felt safe and warm then. Like the world had been put to rights again.

''I look forward to seeing you in your costume ma'am'' He smiled at her as she pulled away from his embrace to face him. 

''As do I Lord M, I intend to dance with you, my wretched cousins are supposed to attend, mother wants me to dance with them''

''I know, but dancing and marriage are two very different things, you dance with many people at a ball, do not treat them any different unless you wish to''

''I do not wish to, will you dance with me more than once?''

''You know that I shouldn't really, it's not mannerly''

''But if I was to ask you?''

''Then I would be unable to deny it'' He spoke confidently then, it reassured her a little. 

She kissed him, he was not expecting it, as his hands tightened around her waist she refused to give into her desires that had bubbled up inside her. Controlling her own emotions, she kept the kiss sensual and slow. She stayed in charge despite his efforts to take over.

She pulled away slightly, and for the first time, he looked more undone than she did. ''I believe you're a little flustered Lord M'' She giggled through her lowered tone.

Pushing against her she allowed him to back her up against a pillar, pinning her there he tried to kiss her again, but she turned her head to the side, only exposing her neck to him, she refused to get carried away, she had to learn not to. It would be a fun challenge, but she felt he was struggling with the concept at this moment in time.

She sighed as he nibbled her neck, kissing and sucking that one spot just below her ear. His hands had travelled down behind her back, gripping her backside and pushing her towards him even more. Her arousal was starting to rise.  
She pushed against his chest, he immediately backed away. Confusion etched his face for a moment before realising why she had done it. 

She could not contain her giggles behind her smile, leaning against the wall for support for a moment. He walked back over to her, her giggles stopped as she looked into his eyes.  
''What have you done to me'' His voice was deep and husky. Victoria's mouth went dry, she found no words.  
He kissed her again. It was a slow but burning kiss, just for a moment, before pulling away. He ran his hand through his hair as he moved over towards the door.

''I will see you tonight, Elizabeth'' He smiled warmly at her as she still leant against the pillar, once the door opened she moved over towards a chair, seating herself beside the window as her unsuspecting and suspecting ladies walked in again.

\- 

Victoria looked in the mirror at her costume, her perception of her reflection was showing something else, she looked different, older, more experienced, and not because of the outfit she was wearing.

Emma walked in to the room.  
''Your majesty, you look a vision'' She smiled in admiration at the young queen who turned to face her. ''I have some flowers for you, from Lord Melbourne, ma'am'' Emma handed Victoria the purple orchids.

''How beautiful'' Victoria handled them so carefully, as if they were made of glass. The purple flower with a white spotted centre glowed against the warm lighting in the room. Her heart warmed at the kind gesture, he was thinking of her, she smiled as she placed them up to her nose and lips.

''Are you ready ma'am'' Emma spoke up, bringing Victoria out of her train of thought. 

''Yes Emma, let's go''

The queen walked into the ball room, every eye fell onto her for a few moments as she walked down the corridor of people, she saw many familiar faces, at the end of the line stood her mother with her Uncle Leopold.

''Your Majesty'' Uncle Leopold's German accent broke through the music that danced around the room, the people began to talk and move away as the room burst back into life.

''I am pleased to see you have inherited our families posture, it rather makes up for your lack of inches'' Her uncles tone was sarcastic and childish towards the young Queen. She felt hurt and insulted by his tone.

''Welcome to Buckingham Palace Uncle Leopold'' Victoria's tone was cold and firm ''Now if you will excuse me I have people to see''

''I was rather hoping I would introduce you to your two cousins, especially Prince Albert. I feel he would be a strong suitor for your hand'' His smile was fake, Victoria could see right through it.

''I do not know what my mother has told you'' She stood head on to her Uncle ''But my intentions to marry are not in sight yet, and I refused to be forced into something so life changing until I am ready for it'' She spat the last words out at him. Her Uncle knew better than to argue in front of the crowd.

Victoria walked across the ball room, engaging herself in conversation with the other people in the room. Her eyes scanned the room for Lord Melbourne, everyone was in costume, it was rather hard to tell who was who. 

''Your Majesty'' The Russian duke came up behind her ''Would I be so kind as to ask for a dance?'' He held his hand out for the queen who took it respectively. 

The couple danced around the room, Victoria had to admit he danced rather well, but she did not share the same spark in the harmony as to what she did with Lord M. _Where the hell was he_ She thought.  
''I must tell you that I have been called back to Russia'' His voice caught her attention ''My father has selected a princess for me to marry''

''Do you have much say on the matter?'' Victoria asked sympathetically

''No, I do not think so, I believe I have had time to choose, but nobody has quite suited me'' His honesty was clear, but she did not mind. 

''We cannot marry where we please you and I'' The queen looked at the flower, delicately attached to her wrist the prince caught her eye.

''It is a beautiful flower, whoever gave it to you must care for you'' She looked at him

''Yes, I believe so'' She paused ''I hope this princess will make you very happy'' The couple stopped at the end of the music, they parted company slightly as the prince kissed her hand and let her go.

Victoria had yet to lay eyes on her Lord M, a worrying thought that he did not wish to attend struck her, what if he had experienced second thoughts. Panic began to rise inside her. She looked for her ladies. Victoria eyed Harriett standing beside someone dressed in black with a large flat type hat on.

''Harriett'' The Queen's voice had a hint of a tremble in it, she picked up on her own anxiety then ''I wish to get some fresh air'' Harriett's face fell slightly as she too picked up on the queen's nerves. The man beside her lifted his head and faced the queen.

''Are you ok ma'am'' Victoria felt a wave of relief as she saw Lord Melbourne's face.

''Lord M'' The relief was evident in her voice as she saw his smile ''I did not recognise you''

''I chose my costume fitter well then'' He smiled at her

''Sorry ma'am, do you still wish to go outside?'' Harriett gestured towards the doors

''Thankyou Harriett, I will in a while'' Harriett bowed slightly and walked off leaving the two together.

'I was worried you had decided not to attend'' She paused ''I am glad you are here though'' 

''Would you be free for a dance?'' Melbourne held out his arm and escorted the queen to a clearing for a dance.

He held her correctly, as he always did, but Victoria could feel the force in his hand against her back, holding her steady but in a more protective way.

''I saw you dancing with the Russian Duke earlier''

''Yes, he is leaving soon. His father has found someone worthy of marriage'' Victoria didn't look or sound overly happy about the statement.

''You do not seem very pleased about it''

''I feel it is wrong, just because we are royal does not single us out from normal people. We are normal people, I am worried I will be forced into marriage if I do not decide on a husband''

''That cannot happen ma'am, for one the Queen must propose, it works slightly differently to a price who needs to marry a woman into a royal family'' He tried to reassure her.

''I hope you are right'' She spoke quietly ''I do not wish to marry''

''Try not to think about that'' He smiled at her warmly ''Enjoy your ball'' He locked eyes onto hers, and the pair moved across the floor, unable to tear their gazes away from each other. 

Once the dance ended Melbourne released the queen. Victoria was just about to ask him to stay for another dance when a couple of young men caught her attention, one came right up to her, she held her hand out expecting him to kneel and kiss it, but he did not. She felt slightly insulted by the lack of respect he showed towards her, but something about his face washed that feeling away.

''Victoria'' His voice was deep as he said her name.

''Albert'' She replied, her mouth was dry, she was unsure of what to say.

''May I have this dance?'' Albert held his hand out as she took hold of it. The couple began to dance, Vitoria eyed Lord Melbourne who stood to the side, looking un-phased by the new arrival.

''You have changed a good deal Albert, last time I saw you I recall you being unable to dance'' Victoria found it hard to be formal with him, he was stupidly handsome, but she felt him rigid like a piece of wood, she did not like it.

''Education has changed me Victoria'' His words gave her no reason to answer. ''Where did you get those beautiful flowers from?''

''A friend gave them to me, he grows them. I love his flowers'' She smiled as she eyed the delicate piece attached to her wrist.

''Must be some friend, orchids are very hard to grow''

''He is a man of great feeling'' Her body tingled at her own words. But she did not let it show. She had to remain impartial.

Out of the corner of her eye Victoria saw Melbourne walk towards the doors. Panic rose through her as she realised the dance was not yet over, something was wrong. But then, she had an idea of what it was.  
Albert was watching her reactions intently

''You look distressed Victoria'' Her glare shot back to him.

''I am not distressed Albert, I have many people here whom I wish to see'' Her tone was firm and formal. His attractive appearance did not cover his rude attitude towards her.

''Maybe we should finish this dance later in the evening then, when you have acquainted yourself with the other guests'' He smiled at her, but she could tell it was fake, she stepped away from his stance, grabbing a glass of champagne she regathered her thoughts for a moment, before heading towards the double doors in which Lord M left.

She walked down the hall quickly, _what if he had already left_? She thought to herself, her heart began to race in a panic. Victoria suddenly felt the need to be out in the cool air, heading for the balcony she grasped the frame and took some long deep breaths of the cold crisp air.

 _I cannot go running after him,_ even thinking that seemed to hurt her _, I must control my inclinations_. Her breathing began to slow slightly. Feeling a sense of control again she loosened her grip off the balcony and headed back towards the ball room.

\- 

Victoria busied herself within the crowd. Dancing and talking took up most of the evening. But her mind was elsewhere. She had not seen Melbourne since he had walked out of the room. He had left the palace for sure, but it hurt her that he had not said his goodbyes.

She looked at the flower on her wrist, toying with the delicate petals she debated pulling it off.  
''Penny for your thoughts?'' Victoria's head shot up at that voice, her smile she was sure reached her ears. 

''Lord M'' The excitement clear in her voice ''I thought you had left''

''I would never leave without saying goodbye'' He smiled warmly at her, for Victoria the room stilled, the noise died down, it was just him and her, together. ''Would you do me the honour'' He held his arm out to her. Just as she was about to accept a voice from behind spoke up.

''I was rather hoping you would dance with me now Victoria'' The queen turned slightly to see Albert looking at her intently. ''I have been observing you, I was under the impression you wanted to acquaint yourself with your guests. But all I saw was you chasing after your priminister'' Albert looked up at Lord M with a sickening expression.

The queen was trapped between the two men; however, she began to see Lord M backing away from the couple, giving his silent permission to take her hand and dance with her, Victoria felt angry and hurt at his words, above everything else Lord Melbourne was her friend, she would not stand for that kind of behaviour.

Victoria straightened her back, ''I suggest Albert if you have nothing nice to say to my friends you retire immediately, this ball is meant to be a celebration, if you do not wish to be a part of it you may withdraw''

Albert did not know what to say, but Victoria didn't give him the chance to reply, turning her back on the prince, under the shocked eyes of her Mother and her Uncle, Victoria walked up to Lord Melbourne and took his hand in her own. ''I wish to dance with you'' She spoke quietly. 

''Then it will be my pleasure'' Melbourne smiled at the young woman and took her to a space on the ball room floor. He couldn't deny that he felt slightly smug she had chosen him over the prince, but he was aware of the disapproving glares the couple where receiving.

''Something needs to change'' Leopold spoke quietly in the Duchess's ear.

''Victoria seems very happy in Lord Melbourne's company'' The Duchess agreed ''But I cannot influence her decisions, she is to head strong, if I tell her to do something she almost always does the opposite''

''Surely, she understands that her affections cannot be aimed at the priminister?''

''We have spoken about it before, but I feel she is to attached to him to think of anyone else''

''I will have a word with her'' Leopold said before taking his leave towards the young prince. 

''What did you say to her'' Leopold stood beside Albert, the two men each had a glass of champagne.

''Nothing'' Albert said in reply ''I merely admitted that I noticed her running after Lord Melbourne, she refused my hand to dance with him. I believe I am wasting my time here'' Albert took a long sip of the alcohol.

''Nonsense Albert'' Leopold spoke with an air of confidence ''There are a few obstacles in the way, but I can sort them. But for now, maybe you should keep your personal opinions to yourself. After all, the Queen must ask for your hand''

''I am aware of that'' Albert snapped ''But I refuse to keep my opinions to myself especially when they are so evidently true'' Leopold could sense the prince's annoyance.

''Leave it with me Albert'' Leopold stood beside the prince, the two men watched Victoria and Melbourne move across the floor together. 

-

''The company here tonight is rather shocking'' Victoria looked around the room.

''In what way ma'am''

''The princes are most rude, my Uncle cares nothing for me but his ability to marry one of his relatives towards me, my mother is watching me constantly with you'' She paused ''I miss Windsor already'' 

''You have control, you always have and you always will, regardless of what everyone else thinks. The final decision always comes down to you''

Victoria smiled warmly at the priminister ''If we were not being watched by so many I would kiss you now'' Her smile widened as his eyebrows raised in mocked confidence. ''But I have a question''

''What's that'' She felt his grip tighten on her back

''Where did you go to earlier, I saw you leave whilst I was dancing with Albert''

''I just needed a bit of air ma'am, that was all'' Lord Melbourne felt bad for not telling the Queen of his true feelings. But he could not stand and watch her dance with the prince who was after her heart. His own had been broken before. It was all too relevant to his past

''I thought perhaps you had been concerned, about my partnership'' 

''Of course, I would prefer you all to myself but I feel that would be inappropriate'' He smiled at her.

''I do not wish to be with anybody else Lord M, but I am struggling to find a way to encourage my uncle to send the princes back'' 

Lord Melbourne could not answer that. For in a way he wanted the queen to have the option of marrying someone her own age. But in another way, he did not. He felt torn from his own emotions and his own principles, for they were committing a scandal of sorts now. Being under the watchful eye of the palace made things more realistic, and harder. ''You must do what's best for you ma'am''

The queen stopped moving as the music finished, he released her from his arms and stepped back. He could see the confusion on her face.

As the night began to end and the guests began to make their leave the queen announced her retirement and thanked the guests for coming to the ball. She walked past Lord M and signalled her head for him to follow. Her ladies where in tow but slowed when they saw the priminister following to. As the couple went down the corridors into the quiet of the palace the ladies followed at a distance. Once out of sight they stopped.

''You don't think they would do anything stupid, do you? They are not at Windsor anymore'' Harriett whispered to Emma.

''No, don't be daft, William would never put the queen in that position'' But Emma's doubts where swayed.

-

The couple walked into The Queen's chambers. William stood in the centre of the room as the queen turned to a cabinet, she unlocked the door and grabbed a wooden box.

''Is there anything I can do for you your majesty?'' William's voice was unsure of her intentions.

Victoria opened the box and pulled out the gift he had sent her, the telescope. William laughed a little. 

''I wish for you to show me how to get the best out of this beautiful gift. I use it every night when the skies are clear, but I struggle to see properly'' Her question was genuine as she fondled with the card which was still placed in the box.

''Of course, ma'am, do you enjoy studying the heavens?'' He walked over to her and guided her to the balcony.

''I feel I would if I knew what I was looking at'' She sighed 

''It's not about what you're looking at, it's about admiring what is above you'' Victoria felt his presence behind her as he guided the microscope up to the stars above them. Victoria managed to focus the telescope, breathing in admiration for what she was looking at.

''What can you see?'' Melbourne almost whispered 

''Beautiful things… such detail and accuracy, mother nature is just one massive work of art'' Victoria wished she could capture the image in her mind, so she could draw it on paper. ''The moon is so bright tonight'' 

''Winter is one of the best times to look at the stars, the weather stills meaning the skies are often clear. It makes it easier to see''

''You have such knowledge Lord M, whatever do you see in me'' Victoria placed the telescope down from her face and pushed it in, holding it carefully in her hand as she looked out at the dark grounds of the palace, the still and now very cool air made her skin prickle, there would be a frost in the morning no doubt.

''I often wonder what you see in me ma'am, there are so many princes that would offer you much more than what I could. If you ever decided to change your mind I would not hold you back''  
Victoria spun round and faced him, a look of shock on her face.

''I would never do that Lord M, you are a man of great feeling. You are the first person I turn to when I am unsure of what to do, you support my commitments and guide me through my setbacks, your words of advice ring true to your own experiences and that in turn reflects my own. I would never look at you as a setback. You are a loyal and trustworthy''

''I thank you for your kind words ma'am, but I fear you have so much to learn, you may find another man will suit you better, maybe Prince Albert'' 

''Albert is nothing more than a stuck-up pig'' Victoria spat at him ''I would rather give up my rein that be ruled by somebody like him, that's all these princes look at me for, is my status, you however do not. I know the difference. Despite my age I know what I want and what I need is standing right in front of me'' 

Her determination was sound. He could not fault her on that, but he still had his doubts. But for now, she was his. ''Putting your past behind you is such a difficult thing, especially when the same situation comes around again'' 

Victoria realised what he meant, she suddenly felt very young and foolish. How could she not of put the two together? ''Your wife should never have left you, I would never do such a thing, I speak my mind Lord M, if there was any doubts or reservations I would tell you'' She spoke with firm confidence in her voice as she rubbed her bare arms with her hands.

He could see she was cold. Taking her arm, he lead her back into the rooms, closing the doors to keep the warm in. Victoria headed over to the fire where she braced her hands against the place to try and warm up a little.

The flames shone against her skin, the dancing light of the room reflected off of her body. It entranced her for a moment, listening to the noise of the fire and feeling the warmth and light, it was giving to her, she sank to the floor, her dress a puddle around her small frame, grasping her head piece she pulled it off, pulling her own hair which was plaited in a bun from her head, the now scruffy plait fell down her back.

''Come and sit with me'' Victoria said, she felt cold still, he stood so far away from her.  
William came and sat down beside her, once he was seated she cuddled into his frame, and the couple enjoyed the silence of the room, and the privacy for a small and intimate moment. ''I do not want things to change'' Victoria said out of the quiet.

''I know ma'am, I do not either'' His own voice was laced with a little sadness at the realisation that he truly loved her and he might one day have to let her go.

''I wish to stay as we are, for as long as possible''

''You are prepared to take that risk ma'am'' He was holding her close

''You make me so happy William, and when I saw you leave the room I have never felt so alone.'' She sat up and faced him. Their faces where inches apart.

Victoria revelled in the sight of him. He looked beautiful in this light. She could not see the barriers he had up, but she knew why he had them, and was intent on proving herself to him, even at the misfortune of others.

She closed the gap between them then, she placed a delicate kiss on his lips, for just a moment, they both stayed still, she parted away from him a touch, their faces just inches apart, his eyes met hers, he saw the love she held, and her loyalty. She kissed him again, waiting and slightly hoping that he would reciprocate like he usually did, she held her lips there for a moment her eyes where half closed as she focused on her intentions.

She felt the tender touch of him lips against hers that time, she parted them slightly allowing him to continue and deepen the kiss, she began to lose herself in his actions, feeling nothing but the touch of his lips on hers. It was not a hungry or desperate kiss, but something slow and sensual, holding great feeling between the two.

Victoria wrapped her arms around his neck, linking them at the back of his head as his hands snaked round their waist to hold her closer to him, her dress was suddenly to big and extravagant for what they were doing, she laughed against his lips as she felt his displeasure at the object. 

''Do you think the queen always wore dresses like this''

''I highly doubt it ma'am, I do not know where the dress ends, and you begin'' He had a touch of humour in his voice

''The head piece was too heavy, and the hair...'' She looked in his eyes, they danced in the light of the fire.

''I prefer your hair'' He traced his fingers through her hair ''It brings out your eyes''

She smiled at his comment as she moved in to kiss him again quickly.

''I must not stay here to long ma'am, your ladies have been very respectful of us being in here, but I don't know how much longer they will stay away''

''I know'' She rested her head against his neck for a moment before preparing to stand. William hopped to his feet quickly before grabbing queen's arms and helping her up also.

''You are the best company Lord M'' She smiled as she tilted her head ''You will come to the opera tomorrow night?''

''I was rather hoping I could go to brocket hall, opera is not really my thing'' She appreciated his honesty.

''I do not think I will manage with Uncle Cumberland and Uncle Leopold forcing princes onto me. I could do with your support''

He couldn't say no to her. ''On one condition''

''What?'' 

''You come to brocket hall, to see my glasshouses''

She smiled broadly at the invitation ''I love the flowers you send for me Lord M, I would love to see what beauty is held there''

Her words meant a lot to him, she appreciated his hobbies as much as he did hers. He leant in and kissed her again, grasping her hips in his hands he deepened the kiss with a sense of urgency for a moment, she was as keen as he was, her body melted into his frame as she mimicked his action, he clasped her bottom lip between his teeth, she gasped at the sensation.

He pulled away and placed one last delicate kiss on her mouth before whispering ''Sleep well''

''How am I supposed to now?'' She said quickly as he began to walk towards the door. He could hear her frustration.

''Good night ma'am'' He opened the door and walked down the corridor. Not a lady, a mother, an uncle, or a duke in sight. _Thank goodness,_ He thought as he made his way to his waiting carriage.

 _ **Im rather shocked at the views I am receiving for this, considering the latest series did not involve the two in such a way. Any comments or feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.**_


	8. Nothing Stays The Same

**Nothing Stays The Same**

 _ **A long chapter ahead, I have gotten a bit ahead on chapters, so I will upload the others a little more regularly in order to catch up. Hope you enjoy it.**_

Victoria's eyes fluttered open, the dull light was just starting to creep its way into her room. The palace was still quiet, it was early. The morning's light was getting later and later, the sun struggling to creep its way through the winter gloom.

She suddenly remembered how cold it was last night, jumping out of bed she walked over to the window, opening the curtains she gasped in amazement as the ground and trees were flooded with frost. The light caused the frozen ground to sparkle. Victoria opened the window, the freezing air hit her lungs and immediately awoke her senses. She felt a burning desire to be outside.

Lehzen opened the door that joined the quarters, to see the queen already up. She was bubbly and happy. It warmed the Baroness's heart. ''Good morning your majesty, you are up early''

''Lehzen will you call for my dresser? I wish to go outside and take a walk before breakfast'' Victoria glanced back towards the window. ''And I wish to have my water colours brought up to my room''

The baroness bowed and went off to comply with the queen's wishes.

-

Victoria couldn't get enough of the cold morning air. Every worry or doubt she may have had was totally diminished by the beauty of mother nature. She could hear the crisp frost breaking under her shoes as she walked across the grounds. Her ladies followed a bit further behind.

Victoria got to the pond. It was completely frozen over. ''Isn't this beautiful'' She laughed as she took off her gloves and touched the rock-hard ice. Her ladies came up beside her. Emma and Harriett looked cold Victoria noted, but Mrs Skerrett her dresser, who was told by Mrs Jenkins to follow her with a thick coat incase the queen got cold, did not. ''What do you think?'' Victoria turned to the dresser.

''I love this time of year ma'am, it highlights all the tiny details that we fail to see every day'' Victoria smiled warmly at the dresser along with the ladies who began to look at the scenery more carefully.

''I quite agree Mrs Skerrett. It would make a beautiful painting, don't you think? Although im not sure if my painting is quite good enough''

''If it pleases you ma'am then it is good enough'' Harriett replied to the queen.

''I fear by the time we have had breakfast the frost will be gone'' The queen could see the sunshine starting to creep through the grounds, it had already melted some of the frost. 

''It would make the picture even better ma'am'' Mrs Skerrett stopped herself, remembering who she was speaking to.

''What do you mean?'' The queen could sense the dresser's reluctance to continue.

''A painting of contrast ma'am, if you were able to capture the sun melting the frost and show where the sun has not yet reached the frost''

''What a beautiful idea Mrs Skerrett'' The queen turned from the pond and made her way back towards the palace with a quickened pace. Her ladies followed in tow.

''You know how to put the queen in good spirits don't you?'' Emma spoke quietly to the dresser

''Im not so sure about that, we are roughly the same age, maybe we have similar interests. I believe someone else is making her happy''

''Indeed'' Harriett chipped in. All 3 ladies watched the queen walk back with a spring in her step.

-

Victoria wandered down the hallways of the palace, walking beside her dog who seemed a little slower today. She looked down at him with a worried expression as he plodded along beside his mistress.

She stopped and bent down to pick him up, he laid still in her arms as she carried him towards her chambers.

Victoria walked towards the fire place, laying the dog gently in his bed she saw him snuggle into his blankets. She could not take her eyes off him, she felt there was something wrong.

The doors opened, and Victoria turned her head to see Lehzen walking up to stand beside her.

''I am worried about Dash, he seems very off colour today''

''He is getting old Majesty. Im sure he will perk up again soon'' The baroness could see the Queen's evident worry for her best friend.

''Yes, im sure you are right'' But she could hear the doubt in her own voice.

''Lord Melbourne is here to help you with the boxes'' 

''Thank you Lehzen, will you send him in shortly''

The Baroness bowed and left the Queen who squatted beside her dog and petted him gently.

-

Leopold walked into the room in which the two princes where staying. He immediately saw what was happening.

''What on earth are you two doing?'' He asked in confusion

''There is no sense us staying here, the queen does not wish to marry yet, it is a waste of time'' Albert spoke up, he did not face his uncle, but continued to pack.

''Now now Albert, there are some obstacles in the way yes, but they can be... removed'' The uncles tone caught the prince's attention. ''But you, need to be polite and flirtatious, like your brother'' The other young prince smiled with a smug look.

''She is young uncle; her feelings are dictated somewhere else'' Albert retaliated. ''I do not wish to be second best to a Priminister''

''The Queen is the most eligible match going Albert, just give it a chance, you need to play this right, and you could become the King of England''

''No'' Albert said sternly ''I will be the Queen of England's husband, I will have to bow down and take orders from her'' 

''Im sure your…education would influence most of her decisions Albert, but you can't think that far ahead, just stay for a few more days, see what happens''

Albert nodded towards his Uncle, the other prince proceeded with unpacking his case. Both men could sense Alberts reluctance to stay.

-

''Good morning ma'am'' The chirpy voice of Lord Melbourne rung in the Queen's ears, she stood from her place beside the beloved dog and allowed the priminister to bend down and kiss her hand. The action felt strange now, almost unnecessary, but the Queen knew it was within his obligation to do this with his current role. 

''Good morning Lord M'' His expression changed immediately.

''What is the matter? ''You seem very worried, is everything ok?''

''I am worried about Dash, he is not himself'' The priminister looked down at the dog who still laid quietly in his bed, he stroked him gently.

''Animals are funny things ma'am, he is an older dog, let him rest and see how he goes'' His voice was quiet and calm, it almost upset the queen to see him being so tender and quiet around the dog. She could tell that something was amiss.

Melbourne stood back up and smiled towards the queen. ''Sharp frost this morning ma'am, the sun had burnt most of it away before I started riding, it was only noticeable in the shadows''

''Yes'' Her tone changed ''I painted it!'' She moved across her room towards the window, a painting laid on its stand.

The piece consisted of the palace grounds, the pond was visible in the painting, the sun dancing across the page, burning away the frost and dew whilst the trees protected some of the frost on the grass and fallen leaves where the rays could not yet touch. The shadows and light where captured perfectly on the page. He was truly amazed at her work. It looked positively beautiful.

''Your talents are very wide spread ma'am, you have done very well to capture this'' He continued to admire the piece, aware that she was observing his expressions.

''I was up early, it was the first thing I did, walked to the pond and admired the crystalized grounds''  
Victoria glanced back over to the fireplace. ''Is there anything urgent that requires our attention?''

Her question caught his attention ''I believe there are some papers regarding the Afghanistan war ma'am, they will probably take up a few hours''

''We can take our time Lord M, I do not wish to run into my uncle, or the princes for that matter''

''If that is what you wish ma'am'' The couple headed towards the table.

-

''I am worried about my niece'' Leopold walked up to his sister.

''Why?'' The Duchess asked cautiously

''She seems to have no interest in Albert, they would be a very good match together, a match the country would be proud of''

''I believe Victoria has her sights on someone else''

''Her priminister?'' The Duchess nodded in agreement.

''Surely she knows it is impossible for the Queen to marry someone of that status''

''Drina is not silly, but she is young, her heart is with Lord Melbourne at the moment, I do not think pushing her towards Albert will do much good''

''Lord Melbourne is disreputable, I am concerned that he is accepting her affections and encouraging them, I have seen the way they look at each other''

''You cannot push the two apart, it will encourage Drina to run after him more'' The duchess spoke firmly, ''Just try and encourage the pair to spend more time together alone, and let the connections do the rest''

''Are you coming to the opera tonight?'' Leopold asked

''No, I doubt Drina will want me there anyway, I believe Lord Melbourne is going with her'' Leopold scoffed before walking out of the room.

\- 

Lehzen walked into the room in which Victoria and Melbourne sat at a table, surrounded by papers discussing the war.

''Sorry to interrupt your majesty but your Uncle Leopold would like to talk to you'' Victoria looked over the table to Lord Melbourne. 

''Would you like me to leave for a little while ma'am'' He went to stand 

''No Lord M, I do not, thank you Lehzen, send him in''

Leopold quickly walked into the room.

''Good morning Victoria, I can see your very busy with your boxes, perhaps before the opera tonight you could take Albert for a tour around the grounds? I know he would love to know more about the palace''

''Im sorry Uncle Leopold but we are as you can see we are very busy, I doubt I will have much time to do anything before going to the opera, im sure Albert can find someone else to talk to and get a tour from''

The Queens' cold and firm tone shut her Uncle up, he bowed and left the room.

''You need to be more willing to spend time with Albert ma'am, it will look suspicious if you don't'' He knew that they already where. 

''I must put my royal duties first'' She looked up as she placed her pen back in the ink well

''If that is what you call it'' He smiled at her warmly ''So your too busy to go riding this afternoon now, as we planned''

Her glare was meant to be serious, but he could not help to laugh ''Of course not! It's the only chance I get to get away from this place sometimes''

''How are you going to entertain the princes?'' Melbourne asked curiously.

''I will probably hold a small dance, maybe tomorrow evening before they are due to leave''

''No more balls you said''

''It is not a ball Lord M'' She smiled warmly at him. ''You will be attending?''

He contemplated for a moment, one part of him did not wish for her to be alone with the rather handsome prince and all his supporters of their marriage, and the other part of him wanted to provide her with that test. ''No ma'am, I fear I have some matters to attend to at Brocket Hall, I feel I have abandoned the place of late''

''Oh'' She said, almost expecting him to say something else, he could see the disappointment in her face.

''It will be good for your family to see you alone with the prince, it will encourage them to believe your decision is of your own doing''

''I see'' She started ''Well, the invitation is there if you change your mind'' The silence was evident for a moment. ''You will be coming to the opera tonight though won't you''

''Of course ma'am, I said I would and I stick to my word'' She smiled at him.

''Good, I do not think I can handle another evening alone with my Uncle and the two cousins'' 

The queen stepped out of her chambers. Her deep, red velvet dress floated across the floor as she moved, her dress hugged her every curve, the corset underneath pushed her breasts up slightly. Her exposed shoulders and neck felt the cool air through the corridors. She had gone for minimal jewellery, the shining silver necklace with a red stone in the middle glimmered in the candle light, whilst the bracelet round her wrist shone with bright red and purple stones against her snow-white gloves.

The dresser placed her coat over her shoulders at the door, the servants opened the doors showing the carriages waiting in the cool winters air. Victoria saw her breath leave in the crisp, cold night. Her uncle stood beside the carriage.

''Victoria, you look incredible'' He kissed the Queen's hand.

''Thankyou Uncle. I hope you enjoy the opera tonight. Are the cousins not coming with you?''

''No, I fear they wish to spend the evening here. They are looking forward to the dance tomorrow evening though'' He smiled at her. She could see the plan written clearly across his face, she felt sick.

''Well last time I remember attending a dance with Albert he resembled a piece of wood, he could not dance, refused to interact with anybody, and fell asleep before midnight'' 

''Stop over exaggerating Victoria, Albert has changed, give him a chance to prove himself to you'' She did not respond to his remark, he always remarked her age and height. She had learnt to ignore it. ''Shall we get in, it is awfully cold out here, we shall be late at this rate''

''I wish to travel with my ladies tonight Uncle Leopold'' She tried not to smile at her Uncle's immediate distaste.

''I was rather hoping we could have a…private conversation'' He said quietly

''Well you can have a private conversation with mama, im sure she has missed your company, after all, bullying is better with company than alone'' She spat back at him sharply before walking towards the carriage behind, her ladies kept their heads down and followed quickly.

''She is out of control'' Leopold snapped ''How can you allow her to talk to you like that?''

''She is a queen, I have been banished from her life, she has to many people behind her actions, pushing her on to be more independent. I cannot do anything, if I try to support her she pushes me out''

''That girl needs a strong pair of hands to hold her in place, this rein has already been a troubled one, if she keeps behaving the way she is It will not last much longer''

The pair entered the carriage together, they set off towards the opera.

\- 

The opera house was packed, Melbourne stood outside awaiting the carriages for a little while but became cold and stood beside the front doors, where the driveway was in sight. He awaited the Queen's arrival with slight anticipation. Why he had no clue.

The sound of horses hooves came up the drive, and sure enough the marked carriages in tow behind. The crowds outside pushed against the security guards that prevented them from blocking her entrance to the house. Melbourne stayed away from the door way as the Duchess and her Uncle stepped out of the first carriage. As they entered the house the pair spied the Priminister.

''Lord Melbourne, what a surprise'' Leopold spoke with a sarcastic tone

''Good Evening'' Melbourne's voice remained upbeat and friendly. ''Are you looking forward to the performance tonight''

''Very much so, im sure it will be the start of something spectacular'' Leopold smiled, and the duchess nodded in agreement.

''I did not put you down as the sort to enjoy opera Lord Melbourne'' The Duchess spoke up

''I feel I can enjoy every form of art, especially in good company'' He smiled at the pair before looking up at the opening doors.

The Queen walked into the warm and well-lit room. She stood quietly as the dresser untied the coat from her shoulders and took it away.

If he was not stood directly beside her family, he would of gasped at her appearance. She looked stunning. He found it very hard not to show his admiration for the young woman at that point. His eyes could not draw away from her body, the beautiful dress, her exposed arms and neck. Her body itself was a work of art. But the dressers had done very well to dress her this way. She looked a vision.

Her eyes met his. They sparkled in the light of the room. He could not draw his attention away from her. Uncle Leopold and The Duchess eyed the pair very carefully. They looked at each other in silent agreement.

''Thank you, ladies,'' Victoria spoke up, she did not take her eyes off of The Priminister. ''I will sit in the royal box with Lord Melbourne and one of the princes'' The ladies bowed and headed towards the viewing galleries.

The Duchess took Leopold's arm, and they too headed towards the boxes to seat for the show. But Leopold did not wish to leave the couple unattended.

''Is it wise to leave those two together, alone?'' Leopold spoke quietly into his sister's ear,

''They spend many hours alone brother, we cannot do anything about it'' The Duchess replied. 

Victoria walked towards Lord Melbourne, who at that moment felt rooted to the spot.  
''Forgive me Lord M, but it looks as though you are staring at me''

He blinked quickly ''I am very sorry ma'am, you are rather easy to admire'' He admitted ''May I add you look absolutely gorgeous tonight'' Her smiled reached her ears, he could not hide his own smile at that moment.

''Thankyou'' She spoke quietly ''I did not dress like this for the princes'' She took his arm which he had offered to her.

''I shall be sure to make up the gesture at some point'' He whispered this time close to her ear, his breath tickled her skin making her shiver inside a little. She looked at him, his eyes sparkled with unexplored desire, ideas and adventure.

\- 

The singers voice ran through Victoria's ears and into her heart. It was admittedly at times hard to understand what she was saying, but you did not have to understand, the emotion poured out of the singer's voice as it echoed across the big room in expressive fashion.

Her eyes began to well up at the untold emotions running through her, she began to breathe heavier as If she was the one singing with the woman on the stage, her heart began to race as tears fell down her face. Melbourne sat beside her, he watched her reactions to the music. He personally did not care much for opera, he admired the art of course, and the talent that went into it, but watching The Queen's reactions took his attention for a few moments.

Victoria's head shot down as she felt something against her hand. She saw the white tissue he was offering her, she looked at him warmly and took his hand holding it tight to hers as she dabbed her tears with her other free hand.  
As the music finished the curtains closed. Victoria could not believe how quickly the first part had gone. She released the priminister's hand and stood up, walking towards the doors, turning to check that he was following her. 

''What did you think of the first part?'' She said to him as he walked up beside her, the couple headed down the corridor.

''It was very moving ma'am, you looked very involved in it'' He looked down at her.

''I felt every word that she was singing about, I felt her hurt against my own'' The Queen's voice relayed her own emotions towards him, she was beginning to show her true feelings, without worrying about his reactions, she was comfortable around him, but that may just be due to inexperience.

''I understood that ma'am, it is hard for people of your age to understand pieces like this, but, most people your age do not carry your level of responsibility''

''I do not think anybody does Lord M'' She looked at him for a moment. He could not believe how beautiful she was tonight.

''Excuse me'' Uncle Cumberland came up beside the pair of them. ''You look beautiful tonight Victoria'' He smiled towards the Queen, his face etched with lies and deceit. 

''Thankyou Uncle Cumberland'' She looked towards the young man standing beside him ''What did you think of the first part George? you do not seem overly happy to be here'' 

''It was very moving ma'am, I am not one to show emotions'' He smiled at the queen. She could sense his detest and resented it. 

''I am not one to show emotion very often, but that was a beautiful work of art'' The Russian Duke's voice turned Victoria's head. She allowed him to kiss her hand.

''We share similar interests Duke, I am looking forward to the second half''

Lord Melbourne watched the queen join into a deep conversation with the Duke, Uncle Cumberland and George stood talking beside him. He watched the pair in almost flowing conversation, he could not get over incredible she looked tonight. He wanted nothing more than to take her home himself, or at least prove to these dukes and princes that she was taken.

It was the hardest test he had to go through, for his past was being relived in front of him, the woman who he believed he was head over heels in love with was at risk of being taken from him, and he could do nothing about it. What a cruel world he lived in sometimes.

''Excuse me'' Lord Melbourne spoke up, Victoria turned towards the Priminister who bowed his head and walked towards a servant holding out some drink for the guests.  
Victoria watched him walk away from her, she had an inkling to follow him, but knew that people were watching her.

''I would like to ask if I could join you in the royal box, to watch the last part of the play'' The Russian duke looked at the queen.

''We were just about to ask you the same thing'' Uncle Cumberland stepped forward, Victoria could see the look on George's face, he did not want to be here, he did not care for the music.

''Thankyou Uncle Cumberland, but maybe you should consider teaching George to lie better, his facial expressions do not match what comes out of his mouth'' Cumberland looked shocked at her words, George however rolled his eyes and walked over towards the main doors. 

Victoria turned towards the Russian Duke ''You are very welcome to join us in the Royal Box''

The Duke looked confused for a moment ''Us?'' He questioned

''Lord Melbourne is also with me in the Royal Box'' She turned to see the priminister admiring some art on the walls, a glass of Brandy in his hand.

''You think a lot of your priminister?'' He looked knowingly at the queen who did not feel the need to lie to the duke, they were both in a similar situation. 

''We cannot marry where we please you and I'' Her repeated phrase spoke a thousand words to the duke who nodded in agreement. ''I had better go and tell him you are joining us, I will see you in the box''

Victoria walked over to Melbourne who stood staring at a feature on the wall, but he was thinking of other things.

''The second part will be starting soon'' 

Melbourne turned to the queen and raised his eyebrows ''Yes ma'am, of course, I shall be there in a minute'' 

''Is everything alright Lord M, you do not seem very happy'' Victoria's voice was laced with concern

''Im fine ma'am, honestly, I should not think of work as often as I do, but it does take its toll sometimes'' He felt bad for lying, although he wasn't being totally deceitful to her, work did take its toll but it certainly wasn't what he was thinking about at this current moment.

Victoria suddenly felt a wave of relief for what reason she did not know. ''Perhaps we could travel back to the palace together tonight'' He turned at her in slight surprise

''I do not think your Uncle Leopold will like that'' He said in a firmer tone.

''I do not care of what Uncle Leopold thinks, I will do what I want, not what others want me to do''

''Well... it that case I feel it is my duty to comply with your wishes''

''Oh stop it'' She half snapped at him ''I do not want you to comply with my wishes, I want you to travel with me because you want to not because you have to'' 

''I do want to travel with you ma'am, but I do not want people to look badly upon you for your actions''

''People may think badly of me, but my family have no say or control over what I do, I am the queen, I have control'' She spoke proudly, and felt the impact her words had on him. She turned her back on him as she headed back to the box. Her partner followed behind. 

-

Victoria wiped her eyes with Melbourne's handkerchief as she came into the main corridor once again. The ending was spectacular, the entire crowd stood up and applauded the stage crew as they stood and bowed before the curtains closed once more.

Victoria headed towards the door with Lord Melbourne the dresser placed Victoria's coat back over her shoulders tying the loop loosely. 

''Victoria, I shall meet you in our carriage'' Uncle Leopold spoke up as he walked towards them. Victoria eyed Lord Melbourne stepping away from her the closer Leopold got to her.

''I am sorry Uncle, but I am travelling back to the palace with Lord Melbourne, we are going to have a game of cards with the ladies before retiring later'' 

''Victoria'' He spoke sternly to her as if she was a child. 

''I have made up my mind, thankyou Uncle'' Her tone was very firm then, her face stern as she stood up to her elder. Leopold knew better than to make a scene.

-

''I did not think you would be travelling with me tonight'' Melbourne spoke up, Victoria was seated beside him. The cold winter air was chilled inside the carriage, her coat wasn't as warm as she had first thought.

''I will not be told what to do, especially if they have no political or royal matter, he only wants to lecture me on how it is my duty to get married, how my duty lies with marrying someone like Albert. I am sick of it. My mother invited him, I never gave her permission''

''I do not feel the country would like a foreign marriage, an English marriage would go down well, both with the privy council and with the public'' Melbourne spoke as a priminister then. He momentarily forgets his placing with her.

''Are you referring to yourself?'' She teased playfully

''No... I… forgot, our... involvement'' He stammered, she had yet to see this side of him. 

''Confusion does not suit you Lord M, I much prefer the cool and collected one'' She snuggled up close to him trying to keep herself warm.

He enjoyed the contact, for he missed her intimacy. ''I am not fond of it either'' He remarked in return.

Victoria sat up and faced him for a moment. He looked back at her. They were in the privacy of the carriage.

''What would you say is your most favourite thing about me?'' Her question surprised him, he wasn't expecting that.

''It is hard to pinpoint one single thing'' He paused, thinking carefully ''I wouldn't be able to say, there are many things I admire about you''

''But there must be one thing that stands out'' She tilted her head at him.

''Ok...'' He wasn't getting out of this one ''Everything''

''Everything? What kind of answer is that?'' Not the reaction he had hoped for…

''I honestly do not think there is anything I would want to change about you''

Victoria was silent for a moment. ''You flatter me Lord M''

He smiled before snaking his hand around the back of her neck and pulling her in for a kiss.

She met his hunger back with her own. Shuffling against his frame to get comfortable he felt her hands slip under his coat sides, gripping to his body as if he would float away. She opened her mouth granting him access to deepen the kiss. He had missed her, the feel of her, the taste of her. The sweet hint of champagne on her lips touched his mouth as her tongue danced with his. His hand gripped the back of her head pulling her mouth away from his slightly, so he could trace kisses down her neck to her collar bone. Her sighs of contentment goaded him on. But he was aware of the direction they were headed.

''We must stop'' He pulled away from her slightly, his own erratic breathing matched hers. She nodded in agreement and settled for laying against his side, as their breaths slowed the pair sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. The carriage had pulled into Buckingham palace.

-  
Victoria walked into the palace with Lord Melbourne, the couple chatting comfortably with the ladies behind them.

''I am going to go and get changed into something more comfortable'' Victoria looked down at her dress.

Melbourne nodded as the dresser and Victoria walked towards her chambers.

The servants opened the doors to the Queen's chambers. Victoria was already un tying the coat from her neck as she walked into the room. The fire was roaring, the light dancing across the room did not distract the Queen from her train of sight.

She fell to her knees as soon as she laid eyes on her dear dog who laid peacefully near the fire. Mrs Skerrett swallowed her gasp and turned to run down the corridor, leaving the sobbing Queen alone in the room.

Victoria's entire world had suddenly stopped and been spin on its axis, he had always been there, since she was child that dog had been her best friend, through thick and thin he had been there. Her heart was shattered, her chest ached as she heaved through wracked sobs.

She had no awareness of her surroundings, but she felt someone wrap their arms around her frame, pulling her limp body to their own she buried her head into their chest. His soft soothing voice whispered against her hair. 

''Oh Victoria, Im sorry, I know how much you loved him'' She felt her crying slow slightly. She wrapped her arms around his and held herself there. Sobbing into his chest as he continued to comfort and sooth her. 

-

Eliza walked into the room in which the ladies, the two princes and Victoria's mother and uncle sat, awaiting the Queen's return.

''Longest dress change in history'' Uncle Leopold spoke up through the chatter of the room.

The ladies could see something was troubling the dresser. ''What is the matter?'' Emma spoke up, the crowds silenced and looked upon the dresser.

''The Queen walked into her chambers to find her dog had passed away''

''Oh no, she will be heartbroken'' Emma said before standing ''Is there anybody with her?''

''Yes, Lord Melbourne is with her'' The dresser saw Emma slowly sit back in her seat. 

''Well surely you should be with her'' Uncle Leopold spoke up referring to the Duchess in a confident and controlling voice 

''No, brother'' The duchess spoke quietly ''Victoria will not want me in there right now, Lord Melbourne will comfort her''

''That is what I am worried about'' Uncle Leopold spoke in his sister's ear, the room had submerged in quiet conversation once again. ''She should not be allowed to be alone with him''

''He is a support to her at this current point in her life, Victoria does not understand the risks she is taking, but I am not about to upset her further, she loved that dog and will be heartbroken'' Her sisters tone was firm but fair, shutting her brother up.

-

Victoria's crying had slowed, her sobbing had stopped, and she laid still in his arms, holding him tight. Her head felt fuzzy and full. Her chest ached like never before, she felt as though her heart was shattered into a thousand pieces inside of her. She had lost her best friend.

She closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up again. ''I should have insisted on him being checked'' Victoria's voice was almost unrecognisable to Lord Melbourne. It was laced with sorrow but also sounded deep and dark, as if someone else was talking. 

''You cannot predict these things; a specialist may have told you that he was simply old, and his time was limited'' Victoria sat up and faced him. Her eyes where red and puffy, her cheeks wet and warm, her hair was a mess as she had sobbed and rubbed against his frame in the despair.

''I could have done something'' He could see her eyes where filling with tears, she blamed herself for his death. Most people blame themselves when the obvious answer is not before them. But he would not let her believe this. 

''Victoria, that dog, laying right there was one of the happiest, most spoilt dogs I have ever met. He did what he wanted when he wanted, he got everything and more that he desired, he had the best life, filled with playfulness, exercise, companionship and most importantly love. You cannot blame yourself for your dog's death. He lived an incredible life, he is an old dog especially for the breed he is. He slipped away peacefully in his favourite place'' He could see the tears falling from her eyes once more. 

''I should of never have left him to go to the opera'' Victoria began sobbing once again.

''Goodbyes are not easy, especially if you love someone so much. Being there isn't always the nicest thing, and even if you were here, all you could have done was sit and watch him slip away. Dogs have incredible bravery, when it is their time they do not fight it, they accept their end and fall asleep''

''I will miss him so much'' Victoria placed a hand on the dog's head, his body was still, but he did look peaceful she noticed. Victoria looked back towards Melbourne who was kneeling quietly, observing her reactions and behaviour, as calm and collected as ever.

She moved back over to him and engulfed him in a hug, he held her tight once again, her face buried in his chest as he soothed her sobs with his own hushing. 

''Everything changes Victoria'' He began ''But I will always be here'' The promise itself was a ticking time bomb. Not because of the prospect of marriage and devilishly attractive princes who wanted her hand, but because of the age gap between them, and the number of years he had ahead of him.

Melbourne chucked the thought away for another time. He kissed the young woman on the head and continued to soothe her.

 _ **I had to include this, mainly because many of us have been in this position before, it was portrayed beautifully on the screen but im obviously writing it in a slightly different perspective. Hope you enjoyed reading, please leave a comment.  
**_


	9. Just One Dance

_**Just One Dance.**_

Long chapter ahead. Sorry about that!

Victoria stood above the mound of fresh soil, where underneath, her dear dog laid curled up in blankets, resting peacefully. The small cross above the grave supported some flowers that the young Queen had laid there.

She wiped some stray tears away from her cheeks. Lord Melbourne stood quietly beside her, his gloved hands by his side, respecting the Queen's final moments and silent goodbyes.

Victoria looked at him for a moment before he caught her eye and looked at her.

''What is it ma'am'' He turned to face her.

''Thankyou'' She said quietly, her voice laced with tears. She grabbed his gloved hands in her own and squeezed him, before keeping hold of them and looking back towards the grave.  
''You were right you know''

''About what?'' He asked quietly.

''I gave him the best life I could, like many people do to their pets, I do not feel guilty anymore Lord M, I feel relieved to know he had such a good life''

''So you should be'' Melbourne looked at the cross ''Death comes to us all, facing up to what's happened is key to moving on, it doesn't mean that we do not miss our loved ones, but if we try our hardest for them until they die then there is no reason to feel guilty'' Melbourne looked down at the ground.

Victoria suddenly realised that along with referring to the death of her dog he was also referring to something else.

She looked up at him, her hands still gripping his own, he could see the anxiety and tears in her eyes. ''You have done nothing wrong'' He started ''I wanted to come here to support you, I was not ordered to attend with you, I was asked, I know how much this dog meant to you, I did not want you to be on your own. I have been to many funerals since my wife and son's death, please do not think this way''

Victoria wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him into a hug, Lord Melbourne returned the gesture quickly, but ensured they did not stay embraced for to long, being aware of their surroundings.  
=======================================================================================================

Leopold stood against the big framed window watching the couple hug near the grave stone. A mixture of anger and fear ran through him. The queen was besotted with the priminister, and he was sure he felt the same.

''What are you looking at'' His sister called from the corridor, he turned to face her before signalling her to come over to the window. When she caught his train of sight she sighed.

''You cannot think into things like that. That dog meant everything to Drina, she is heartbroken that he has gone'' His sister soothed quietly

''That does not give her permission to behave in this way. Leopold Snapped ''She has many ladies in this house whom she considers her friends, why should he have the duty to support her'' Leopold spat whilst still watching the couple at the window.

''Lord Melbourne is not stupid, he knows nothing will come of it, Drina is an active woman who thinks constantly, when she realises what isn't possible she will no doubt move on, she is young brother, she needs to learn''

''But she isn't just young is she? She is a queen, and her entire country is awaiting a marriage announcement, I have dragged her two cousins over here for nothing, she will not indulge in them whilst Melbourne is around'' He looked at the Duchess.

''He comes over most days, and dines with us most nights for that matter''

''Could we not... keep him away?'' Leopold looked at the Duchess

''Drina would never agree, she values him to much''

''Victoria would not know, I could have a chat with Melbourne and encourage him to take a step back from it all, to give her and Albert a chance to spend some time together'' His smile was pure filth.

''Be careful Brother, for if you upset Victoria to much she will turn you and the cousins away'' The duchess warned politely and walked off.

Leopold stood quietly beside the window, the couple had since walked back towards the palace.  
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''I am sorry to hear that you are not coming to the dance tonight Lord M'' Victoria spoke up whilst signing her name on another document.

''I really need to go to Brocket hall for a day or so, and have good catch up on things, I suspect the glass houses will have much that needs attending to'' Melbourne's voice was etched with disappointment, but he knew he had to stay away, to advert suspicion.

''I get the hint that you are avoiding me'' Victoria looked up at him.

''You? never''

''Albert cannot dance, nor talk for that matter, I do not wish to spend any time alone with him''

''You must though ma'am, for you will draw attention to yourself if you do not choose to indulge in these get togethers''

''Well if you change your mind you are welcome to come along, I would love to dance with you''

The priminister nodded, before continuing with his paperwork before him.  
=======================================================================================================

The cold air was refreshing as the couple headed out to the woodland on their horses. Victoria was dressed in a velvet green riding outfit, the turtle neck feature hugged her collar bone, keeping her silk like skin covered and warm.

She saw her breath disappear into the cool air as she breathed out.

''I wish I had never organised this dance, I feel I will be miserable the whole time''

''You need to entertain your guest's ma'am'' Melbourne did not wish to keep discussing the matter

''I do not see why they cannot entertain themselves'' Victoria smiled at the priminister's small laugh to her comment. ''I have missed you Lord M''

''We have not been away from each other?'' He mocked, but he knew what she meant. He nodded ''It is too risky to be intimate in such a populated place''

They both felt the loss of each other. Maybe this had not been such a good idea Melbourne thought to himself, for now he was to in love with her to just walk away at the sight of some prince trying for her hand.

The couple both spotted a rider cantering a horse up towards them. The warm air coming out of the horse's nose left a mist evaporating into the winters chill. He slowed his mount down as he reached the couple. Victoria could see it was Albert.

''You cannot have many royal duties if you have the time to be out on your horse'' Albert remarked coldly.

''I have finished with the boxes for today Albert, I am entitled to a little exercise if I wish'' Victoria held her head up, her authority beaming from her stance.

''With your priminister'' He looked over to Melbourne who sat quietly on his horse.

''Actually, I was about to head off, I have a fairly long ride back and I fear the light is beginning to draw in with the frost. You and Albert will be ok to continue?''

''What?'' Victoria's sudden surprise took her attention off Albert completely ''We had much to discuss''

''And we will ma'am, but none is of such importance tonight, Good night'' He smiled warmly at the queen and nodded to the prince before cantering off down the track. Victoria's horse began to stir as his companion had left him behind, she began walking him on beside Albert.

''You are very rude sometimes'' She spat at him without looking at him.

''Not rude Victoria, truthful''

She huffed, he enjoyed irritating her a little bit.

''You spend an awful lot of time with Lord Melbourne, he has a good control over you, no?''

''NO, he does not! I make my own decisions, Lord Melbourne advises me on what is best, but I do not always follow his advice, one time I did not listen, and it ended up putting me in a terrible position, I trust his opinion, he has never steered me wrong''

''You speak very highly of him, but he is a priminister, he has you under control, flirting is not guidance Victoria, your age lets you down''

''Last time I checked, I was queen, Albert, and whoever I choose to marry will not run or control me in any way, or my crown for that matter''

''Of course, but you cannot marry your priminister''

''I do not intend to!'' Victoria's anger was rising, squeezing her horse's sides she cantered off in front of Albert who swiftly followed behind her, winding their way through the tracks and trees. Victoria wanted to get away from him, he was like a bad penny, turning up whenever she felt down.

Finally, she pulled her horse back to a walk, He caught up shortly afterwards. Victoria could see the palace and decided to head back to the stables. She had to get ready for this dance.

''I fear you do not like my company'' Albert broke the silence once more

''You are not the nicest person in the world'' She remarked, hoping it would hurt him a little. Her spite was unnecessary at times she knew.

''Are you looking forward to the dance tonight?'' He asked

''It is very soon after the costume ball, so a part of me is not, it is only to welcome you'' She remarked.

''Well I shall be very grateful'' He half smiled at her, he was handsome she thought to herself.

''Careful Albert, your head is big enough as it is'' Her childish comment wiped the smile off his face, she enjoyed seeing him irritated.

''You are very childish at times, not very Queen like'' He talked down to her, as if he was so much older and wiser.

''Well I am queen Albert, and I will tell you something else, whilst you look down your nose at me in the way you are you will not succeed in winning my hand, as a potential husband I would expect you to support my way of ruling, not try to change it or parent it. After all, you will not be crowned the King of England without my permission'' She smiled at him, he looked shocked.

''Who says I am trying to win your hand?''

''Everybody...'' Victoria said quietly.

''Not everybody Victoria'' He looked at her, she could tell he was being serious. ''You do not wish to be run and controlled because you already are'' She frowned at his statement ''Lord Melbourne is special to you, I can tell. But he controls you''

''Lord Melbourne is very special to me Albert, and do you know why? Because when everybody was against me, when people put my age and sex down against my ruling he did not, he stood by me, supported me, and did not reprimand me for my mistakes. I feel trusted with him, safe. He is a man of great feeling, and one of my closets and dearest friends''

''I am merely stating what I have been observing Victoria''  
=======================================================================================================

Melbourne sat in a chair, positioned in his warm glass house, he looked at his reflection in the dark windows, the countryside was submerged in darkness for another night, he had come here to focus on his flowers, to take his mind off of the fact his heart and mind were miles apart from each other, but his mind continued to wander. He wished she was here.

He ran his finger across a delicate white orchid, still on its stem, the beautiful creation captivated him in such a way. He remembered how she placed the orchids on her dress, usually in the middle, how he traced his nose over that flower clasped to her dress, how his fingers touched the orchid she had strapped on her wrist. He could not get away from her, the thoughts crowded his mind to the point of breaking. He felt engulfed by her.

He took a long sip of the brandy a servant had brought to him. He had left her with Albert, he knew she would have felt betrayed, but he could not stay beside her all the time, it would attract attention. Victoria was under this understanding anyway, but her age did not help as her emotions often over ran the sensible part of her thinking.  
=======================================================================================================

''I hear Lord Melbourne is not attending tonight'' The Duchess spoke quietly to her brother ''Im guessing you had a chat with him?''

''No'' Leopold replied, slightly confused ''I know he left Victoria and Albert to finish their ride alone, he had told Victoria he would see her in a day or so''

''I fear you have over thought the situation, I do not think Lord Melbourne, as disreputable as he is will stand in the way of Victoria's happiness'' The Duchess said honestly.

''I am not convinced, he will be back soon and any progress that Albert makes with Victoria may well be discarded, I will think of something'' Leopold walked away from his sister, who had a string of worry whisper through her mind.

Victoria smoothed her dress down after raising, her hair was done, her jewellery on, her dress fitted, she looked at herself in the mirror for a moment, she looked older, stronger, wiser.  
She turned to the figure that caught in the corner of her eye. The servant bowed before handing her a single white orchid on a platter, no note, no card, just the flower. Victoria took the orchid and placed it on the dresser table.

She felt a surge of pain and anger, he had left her with Albert, he could not care to fight for her that much. But then... nobody was to know... her mind was in two minds, she knew deep down he could not fight for her without outing the pair of them. But the other part of her really wanted him to.

Victoria closed her eyes, she had shed to many tears in the last few days over her dog. She was not going to shed anymore. She looked back in the mirror, her deep blue dress simmered in the light, the white lace on the neck line and sleeves outlined her figure beautifully. She needed to meet her guests.

The ball room was crowded and bustled in conversation. As Victoria walked into the room everyone fell silent and admired her as she made her way over to the throne. Sitting down for a moment she was asked for a hand in a dance. Taking the princes hand, she began to dance and chat to the person whom she danced with.

The night began to drag, everyone she spoke to was involved in meaningless and emotionless conversation, none of the young princes danced well, none of them cared about her as a woman but as her status. Victoria felt cheap and slightly un wanted.

''You should go and dance with the queen'' Leopold pushed Albert slightly towards her. Albert sighed and made his way across the room to her.  
''May I have this dance?'' Albert looked at Victoria whom hummed at the question.

''I think this one is free'' She said quietly, before taking his hand.

She had to admit he did dance well, but he was ridged and stiff, as if his body was made of wood, the steps timed perfectly with hers, the couple glided across the room with such ease, but Victoria did not feel the emotion in the music like she did with Lord Melbourne, she did not enjoy it as much.

''That is a very nice flower'' He looked down at the white orchid, attached to the middle of her dress.

''Yes, it was a gift, apparently, they are very hard to grow'' Albert sighed at her words.

''Something bothering you?'' She said coldly

''Flowers are beautiful, but I do not see the point in growing them for a hobby, they grow and die, then the process starts all over again''

''I feel it resembles life'' She spat ''For we all grow, and we all die, then the process starts again, besides the gift is special''

''I can tell, Melbourne's name is written all over it'' Albert replied in a cool tone

''How can you tell?''

''Because you are protecting it, it may as well have a name tag on it Victoria''

Victoria stopped dancing, the music continued to play, Uncle Leopold watched carefully, Victoria let go of Albert and stood up tall. ''You may leave us'' She said sternly. Victoria observed Alberts distaste.

The prince slowly backed away. Victoria saw Uncle Leopold walk over to him, she watched them converse but could not hear their words over their music. She took a long sip of her champagne as she saw her uncle walking towards her.

''Have you completely lost your mind?'' He shouted, people stopped and looked

''How dare you talk to me like that'' Victoria replied, it is my dance, my palace, I will say and do what I want''

''Grow up Victoria, people are trying to look out for the good of your ruling and country and all your doing is being childish and petty. Get over your crush now and move on with your life. Bad things will happen if you do not''

Victoria was shocked and stunned, everyone was watching her, the music stopped. ''I may be young, I may be a woman, and I may not have the education and knowledge as your precious Princes. But I know a snake when I see one, I know what you are after and it is NOT my happiness.!'' She shouted at her uncle, her voice never faltered, but she felt the lump in her throat.

''Be very careful Victoria, you are out of your depth here''

''I do not think this is the best place to talk about such matters'' Victoria turned at the calm and collected voice beside her. Her mother stood beside her.

''Don't you start'' She shouted, ''Your no better either'' Victoria suddenly felt over powered, the elders all watched her with disapproval, she had no backing, her ladies stood quietly the other side of the room.

=======================================================================================================

''Ma'am, maybe we should get some air'' Victoria turned to see Lord Melbourne standing behind her.

''Of course,'' Uncle Leopold said sarcastically before turning around and walking off, her mother followed. The room was still silent but as the music began to play once again the conversation restarted.

Victoria did not look at Melbourne for very long before walking, very straight he observed, to the big double doors. She was not drunk, she was angry.

He followed her into the corridors, the palace was silent, all the staff keeping away from the get together of royals.  
''My Uncle Leopold is beginning to push his luck'' Victoria was shaking, her anger was evident.

''You cannot let them get to you, you always have control, you are the Queen'' He spoke calmly to her.

''It does not feel like that sometimes, anyway, you quite happily left me with Albert earlier, you must have known this dance would be to push Albert on to me, why did you not attend?''

''That is not fair'' Although he could feel the guilt for putting her in such a situation. ''I cannot be beside you all the time, you must know that. You are in their eyes coming up to the time of marriage. I cannot stand in the way of that, it will damage your reputation''

Victoria looked down at the floor ''I know, I understand most of it. But it is just… so… hard'' She looked back up at him. Her eyes shining in the candle light.

''I am still your priminister'' He said quietly ''So to them, I must remain professional, and you must give Albert and the princes the time of day''

''I cannot!'' She shouted. Albert is cocky, arrogant, big headed, and is only looking out for his own status, he says I spend too much time with you and that im controlled by you''

''That may be slightly true'' He agreed quietly

''No, it is not! You do not control me'' She began to get upset ''I feel as though i have to explain myself and my position to everyone''

Melbourne then felt exceptionally guilty, for if he had turned the Queen down at the beginning she would have been heat broken, but she would of moved on, maybe looked at Albert in a different light, she may well of decided to marry him.

''I know'' He spoke calmly but his mind was in turmoil ''You do not have to explain yourself to me, take some deep breaths and calm down, do you want to retire?''

Victoria shook her head ''No, I shall return in a minute, I cannot give them the satisfaction of winning'' Her strong-willed attitude was back, he liked that side of her. ''You look very handsome tonight Lord M'' Her tone had lightened as she stood back to admire him.

''And you look a vision ma'am, I clasped eyes on you the minute I walked into the room'' He stepped closer towards her, she looked up at him closely.

''Anyone would think you found me pretty Lord M''

''Im not exactly anyone now am I'' She smiled at his comment, she wanted to kiss him, but knew where she was. ''These flowers suit the dress ma'am, you have placed them well'' He admired the contrast of colours, she was not over dressed, but had still put in a good bit of effort into her appearance.

Victoria remembered him nuzzling the flower she had placed on her dress last time, how carried away they had become, every kiss, every sexual encounter left her wanting more, she treasured each memory as if it would fade away, her body craved him.

''Could we go for a walk? I am not ready just yet?'' She began walking before he could answer. He followed her quickened pace behind her slightly.

''Where are we going?'' Melbourne followed Victoria into an almost library like room, the bookcases where filled with novels, the big oak framed cases shone in the dim candle light. The room was slightly spooky.

''I love this room, it holds such history, both about my ancestors and general history, as well as the love stories and so on. I spend many hours reading in my chambers, but I often come in here when I want to avoid the eyes of everybody else, nobody comes in here you see. Nobody really has the time''

He looked at her tiny frame in the big room, her eyes scanned the bookcases with complete admiration. He loved her hobbies and how passionate she was about them.

''It has an air of ghostliness to it though ma'am'' Melbourne continued to look around the darkened room.

''Please do not tell me you believe in spirits and what not Lord M, I rather put you above that'' She teased playfully, walking towards him.

''You know I do not believe in much ma'am, and what I do believe in I hold very close to my heart'' Victoria smiled.

''I know you do'' She stood in front of him now, his hand traced up to the flower on her dress.

''You hold my flowers close to your heart'' He observed the delicate ornament placed so carefully on her dress.

''I hold everything that involves you close to my heart, you should know that by now''

Melbourne quirked his eye brows up and smiled slightly, he loved her, so much. She stood close to him now, his hand trailed from the flower to her waist, he snaked his hand around the close-fitting dress and pulled her a step closer, their bodies where nearly touching.

''You always look so beautiful'' He murmured, looking down at her slim body, delicately held in by the dress and corset underneath.  
Victoria breathed in sharply, but she did not exhale, he held her there for a moment, gripping her side with his hand, he could see how he was able to undo her composure, like undoing a ribbon. Her body responded to whatever he asked it to do. She trusted him.

He kissed her then, furiously. His lips crashed against hers as if she held the last breath he could breathe, she moaned deeply into his mouth her hands moving into his back and neck, holding him close, she pushed her body against his but he turned around and pushed her back into the nearest bookcase, holding her there against it, pushing his own frame into hers, rubbing his hands up and down her sides, against her breasts, her hands trailed around his waist, toying with his buttons on his trousers, but not undoing them.

He moved down onto her neck, her moans becoming louder as his own hunger drove him on, his arousal was growing, he was hungry for her, had missed her, he needed her. But he also knew that people would start looking for her. She was to return to the ball.

He groaned as her hand traced over his trousers, finding his arousal, he pushed his hips into her hands. Still with his head buried in her neck.

''We cannot'' He said against her skin in frustration ''You will be expected back''

''William'' She moaned quietly, almost forgetting what he said in a heartbeat, he had to admit, sex in a library seem exciting and she wanted him. She parted her legs as his hand drifted downwards, he smirked against her skin as he sensed her own desperation.

His hand pushed against the fabric of her dress, she felt him there, through the layers, he rubbed her against the fabric, pushing his own erection into her hip, she could feel his hardness now.

''Please'' Victoria whispered. It felt strange hearing her ask for something in this way.

He shook his head vehemently as if it pained him to deny her what they both so terribly wanted. ''We cannot, it is to populated here tonight, anybody could walk past and hear us''

''By us you mean me'' Victoria finally met his eyes, a hint of irritation crossed her features as she remained trapped between him and the bookcase.

He smirked ''Believe me it is just as hard for me as it is for you'' He pulled her in for another kiss, ignoring the way his body hummed its approval as her hands travelled down his back again. He pulled away, reluctantly and stepped back.

''Do I look ok? Is my hair ok? And my dress?'' She spun around allowing him to get a proper look of her.

''Your dress is fine ma'am, and your hair, remarkably untouched, much to my disappointment'' He finished straightening his cravat and smoothing his jacket over.

''Why your disappointment?

''I rather enjoy seeing your hair a mess'' He smiled as she swatted his arm. Looking down once more at the deep blue dress she realised something.

''I have lost the flower!'' Victoria began looking around the room desperately trying to find the delicate flower that was on her dress before. ''It cannot have gone far, I had it on earlier!''

Turning she saw the delicate white flower in Lord Melbourne's hand, to his surprise he saw a wave of relief beam over her face, as if it was a delicate piece of jewellery. She quickly stepped over to him, but he held the flower out of reach.

''Allow me'' Victoria let her arms fall to her sides as Melbourne attached the flower back to the Queen's dress. She touched it delicately before beaming at him.  
''I suppose I should go into the ball room first'' Victoria sighed, realising when she stepped out of those doors that the hassle behind them would be waiting.

''You must give the princes the time of day ma'am'' Melbourne stepped towards her and took her hands in his own. ''You do not have to marry them if you don't wish, regardless of our relationship with one another, but you still have to be friendly towards them, and indulge a little in their wishes. Even if it is only to keep your family happy. Just remember that you always have control, and you do not have to marry if you do not want to''

''But what about you''

''Your happiness is my priority'' He began  
''If you do not wish to marry the princes then don't, but as a monarch you will and have met some people you may not necessarily get on with or have the same opinions as, but you still have to remain impartial, so if you do not enjoy Albert or Ernest's company then you just have to remain impartial to it'' He shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what else to say.

Victoria nodded slowly, gathering her thoughts. She tip-toed and placed a delicate kiss to his lips. ''You always know how to make me feel better'' She whispered, before kissing him slightly deeper. She pulled away quickly, before her body took further control. ''I will head off now'' Victoria walked towards the door, turning and smiling at the priminister.

''Yes, I shall follow through in a few moments, so not to attract attention'' He smiled warmly at her as she made her exit.

Walking into the well-lit hallways she looked at herself in the mirror, apart from some slightly swollen lips and a flushed appearance she looked rather good considering.

''Where have you been your majesty'' Emma spoke up, bringing the queen out of her daze in her own reflection.

''Im sorry Emma, I had to get away from my family, they were driving me mad, forcing me onto Albert. I do not feel like a woman when I am treated like that''

''It cannot be easy, but you must know that your family are only looking out for your best interests''

''No I do not believe they are, Albert and myself are not suited.

Emma bowed her head in silent agreement. ''It is all about the most suitable match. Well I am not falling for it, when I marry it will be for love, and if I cannot marry for love then I shall not marry at all'' Victoria walked off, leaving the lady stunned by her statement. She stood thinking for a moment, before following the queen back into the ball room.  
========================================================================================================

Lord Melbourne stood in the silence of the chilled library for a few moments. The still room did not mimic his thoughts. His brain felt crowded as his thoughts raced into each other.

He ran a hand through his hair as he began to pace the room. Of course, he wanted this more than anything else, and he knew that she desired him as much as he did her. But her happiness was paramount, and he feared that when it came to a long-term companionship he would be unable to give her that. A part of him regretted giving in to her persistence. He could have turned her away again. Her heart would have mended in time.

God, what a mess. But he would stand by her, no matter what became of it, even if she decided to marry he would stand by her, for he could not bear to be apart from her.

The uncertainty of the situation worried him, that was for sure. But he found it harder and harder to keep away from her, the more time he spent with her, the more he loved her.  
========================================================================================================

''I am very worried about Lord Melbourne and the queen'' Emma spoke quietly to her husband ''They spend too much time together and are becoming to close'' Emma half lied to her husband, knowing that what went on at Windsor was a secret she kept the Queens privacy respectfully.

''Surely William knows that any romantic involvement with the Queen is out of the question?'' Her husband looked half shocked at Emma's statement.

''Well I hope so'' She looked across the room to see Victoria happily chatting to some friends ''But I do not know what the Queen's intentions are, she seems very resilient to marry Albert''

''She is young, and slightly foolish at times, but these things need a chance to grow, Albert will no doubt win her over'' Emma's husband reassured her with a confident edge in his voice. Emma decided to keep her real worries quiet, she did not wish to leak the Queen's private life out.  
=======================================================================================================

''Victoria and Lord Melbourne need to be apart from one another for a few days, I thought he was supposed to be absent this evening'' Uncle Leopold sounded awfully frustrated when he spoke to his sister, who stood beside Uncle Cumberland.

''He is her priminister, he will be around until he is out of power, I cannot change this'' The Duchess spoke quietly and calmly. ''I could have a chat with Victoria, to see if she would spend some time alone with Albert? I believe the only one that will sway her mind is either Albert or herself''

''Lord Melbourne's opinion is very valuable to the Queen, do you think if he encouraged her to go ahead and marry Prince Albert that she would listen? It would then put Lord Melbourne in a difficult position to continue as Priminister'' Uncle Cumberland chipped in, grabbing both the Duchess, and Leopold's attention.

''Yes'' Leopold spoke quietly this time ''I do believe you are right''

The duchess stood very quietly, looking down into her glass of champagne as the two men continued talking beside her.  
========================================================================================================

Victoria stood speaking to some old friends when a music piece started. Couples headed over to the middle of the room and began dancing in time with the music. Victoria stood looking slightly lost as she scanned the room for Lord Melbourne, who had not yet been spotted in the ball room.

''Excuse me Your Majesty'' Victoria looked at her Uncle Leopold, who bowed respectively ''Would you do me the honour of dancing with me?''

Victoria looked at him for a moment, she had nothing to say to the man. But feeling slightly lost without her companion she decided to accept his offer.

''You have always looked out for me Uncle Leopold'' She stated, as they slowly moved about the floor. Victoria found it hard to look at him properly.

''I have always had your best interests at heart'' He stated simply.

''But not my happiness?'' She retaliated

''That to, but your happiness will come in time if you put yourself in a good situation'' He raised an eyebrow at her, he had her attention then.

''I do not wish to have Princes forced on to me, if I was not a Queen I would not be forced into marriage, I would also be able to marry whomever I liked. So why does this have to be any different? I do not want to marry for convenience'' Her words hurt her a little, the realism of what was going on hit her. ''I shall continue to socialise with the princes, but I shall not force myself to marry them for the sake of your happiness over mine. If we are not suited, then it is not meant to be.''

Victoria's confident words irritated Leopold a good deal, but he knew better than to argue with her under such circumstances. The pair split to finish the last part of the dance.  
Forming a line each side the couples joined and parted, all in exact time with one another. Victoria found herself scanning the room as she moved in partnership with everyone else.

Her eyes caught a figure walking into the room and sure enough it was him. He caught sight of her immediately and just for a second, everything stopped, her distraction did not go unnoticed however as her dance partner caught her train of sight.

How Victoria didn't miss a beat she would never know, but the couple finished the dance and parted ways. Leopold walked over to Albert.

''You should go and dance with Victoria again''

''I am tired of trying, if she does not want to be involved with me then I am not going to keep bending over backwards for her''

''Nonsense Albert, all good things'' He said in a sly tone

''She does not care for anybody other than Lord Melbourne'' Albert spat back at his Uncle

''She has not known anybody other than her Lord Melbourne, just because you are new it doesn't mean she doesn't like you'' The prince looked at Leopold for a moment.  
=======================================================================================================

''How are you finding the dance Lord M'' Victoria smiled at her friend as she clasped his hands for a moment before letting them go again.

''It is a welcomed change from the costume ball'' He commented smiling at her.

''I quite agree, quieter, but I like it this way'' She smiled as she looked across the room at her friends and family.

''Would you do me the honour of-'' Victoria looked at him intently as he stopped halfway through his sentence. Just as a tap touched her shoulder gently she saw Melbourne step back and bow his head slightly.

''Victoria'' Albert spoke quietly but confidently. ''I would be so honoured as to ask for a second dance with you'' Albert held out his hand. Victoria turned to Lord Melbourne who nodded his silent approval before stepping back once more.

Victoria stood like wood in Alberts arms, she followed the steps to precision and spoke nothing but formal to the prince, who returned the favour, it became less awkward as the dance continued and Melbourne could see the queen beginning to relax into his arms.

A mixture of jealously, anger, heart ache, and possessiveness ran through the Priminister as he watched the queen in the arms of another, he took a long sip of his drink, unware that Emma had stood beside him.

''Your staring'' He looked down at Emma who looked back with a sympathetic eye.

''Which is entirely selfish of me of course'' He looked back down at his drink.

''For what it is worth Victoria does not care for Albert, she is insisting she will not marry if it isn't for love. But you are doing the right thing by allowing her the chance''

''I will always try and do the right thing by the queen, you should know that, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear'' William took another long sip from his glass, realising that the drink was now beginning to get low.

''He will not be around forever William, do not be so possessive'' Emma smiled at him as the Priminister nodded in agreement to her. He continued to watch his Queen, as the music came to an end Victoria parted from Albert abruptly, allowing him to kiss her hand before backing away.

Her eyes caught his straight away, he had not moved, he continued to watch her move towards him, ignoring anybody else around her. She stood in front of him, silent for a moment the pair just looked at each other.

''Would you dance with me Lord M'' Victoria spoke through the silence.

Melbourne did not speak, but offered his hand which she gently took and followed his lead to the floor once more.

''You seem flustered'' Her voice was calm and collected as the couple began to dance.

''It has been an eventful evening'' His eyes shone into hers, she was simply radiating through the warmth of the room. The company was beginning to leave, the night was drawing to a close.

The couple danced around the room, her relaxed frame and smile captured the attention of the remaining guests as they continued to move to the beautiful music. They were so in sync with each other, as if they had practiced every day for weeks on end. The ladies admired the motions and commented on how well the pairing got on together. The duchess watched silently on her own, feeling a sense of guilt to her daughter. Whilst others, watched with annoyance.

''I would have chosen you over Albert'' She reassured him, almost as if she knew she had to somehow.

''I know that ma'am, but I wanted you to dance with Albert''

''He does not dance as good as you Lord M, he is rather, mechanical'' She smiled as he tried to cover his laugh.

''Well for what it is worth ma'am, I would have waited hours to have just the one dance with you'' He observed her facial expressions change at this.

''Would you? Really?'' He nodded at her question. She did not know what to say, there was nothing to say. They enjoyed the silent company for another minute, when the music stopped they slowly parted ways, almost regretfully. He nodded and kissed her hand, such a tender action. It should not be so intimate, after all they have done a lot worse than this... Victoria blushed at the thought, her reaction did not go unnoticed to her doting Priminister.

''Something caught your mind ma'am?'' He smiled an almost wicked smile. She had never seen him smile so.

 _ **I know, long chapter. Think I might of ruined it. There is trouble in paradise brewing. Please leave a thought if you get the chance. Thanks for reading.**_


	10. Glass Houses

**Glass Houses**

''Excuse me for disturbing you Your Majesty'' The calm voice spoke from across the room. ''I saw you come rushing in here, and I was worried as to whether you where alright''

Victoria turned around to see Lehzen standing in the middle of the room.

''Please Lehzen, come and sit down'' Victoria turned her frame away from the window, she watched her dear friend sit beside her.

''You do not read here much anymore'' She spoke softly, her eyes warm and kind. Victoria suddenly felt very safe, remembering how many times Lehzen had read to her, the company she had been given. Victoria loved reading, but her duties stopped this a lot of the time.

''I feel too much is changing, and to fast, I wish I could go back, and just be as we were for a little longer'' She sighed, as she looked at Lehzen.

''Many things change Your Majesty, but you can very often control the direction in which these things change in''

Her words held little wisdom, not like Lord Melbourne who spoke from experience. But Victoria listened to her intently, for she trusted Lehzen.

''My uncles are forcing me onto these Princes, I have no control on this one, they keep lecturing me, on how it is my duty to get married''

Lehzen smoothed her hair back gently, and cradled the inside of her chin, a comforting, tender action, given in love, but not the same kind of love Victoria had become used to of late. This one had a touch of sympathy in it. ''I do not wish to see you controlled by a Prince Your Majesty, you have always been so independent, marriage does not mean that one controls the other, it is a symbol of companionship and team work.

Victoria looked at her baroness. The woman had remained quiet about the subject, and Victoria had found no relevance to talk to her about it over her ladies. The statement surprised her a good deal. ''I never knew you had those views Lehzen, they match my own a good deal''

Lehzen grabbed Victoria's hands and squeezed them, keeping a hold of them for a moment. Victoria looked a little lost as she gazed into her eyes. Yes, the lady did gossip, and yes, she had no real knowledge or experience of the relationships between a man and a woman. But, Victoria could see her heart was in the right place.

Melbourne could feel his thoughts drifting off as the group continued to chatter. He looked down into the glass he had in his hand. Thinking of Victoria, and what she was doing, if she was alright.  
Victoria had left the room abruptly after speaking to Albert beside the piano. Nobody had heard what he said to her, but whatever it was had upset her.

A hand placed on his shoulder bringing him from his thoughts, looking up he could see Leopold. ''May I have a quiet word'' Leopold walked towards the doors before Melbourne could give an answer.

Stepping out into the quiet hallway Melbourne faced the man and waited for him to speak.

''I wish to talk to you about Victoria'' He stated simply.

''What about her Majesty?'' He knew where this was headed.

''I am worried that she has a rather dim view on Albert as a possible husband, he is the best choice for her and would make a remarkable King. But, Victoria seems… side tracked''

''The queen has been very busy of late, with the Afghanistan papers and other royal duties''

''That is not all though is it Lord Melbourne'' Melbourne's heart stammered a little, but he remained cool and calm in-front of the King.

''I have not seen her interests drift anywhere else, Her Majesty has simply been busy with her duties as Queen, that is all''

''Albert and Victoria must marry'' Leopold sounded colder, darker this time.

''I believe she should choose wisely and carefully, she was not so keen on Albert before, I remember her saying, I believe she wants to make the right decision''

''She is very young and foolish, she does not listen to many people, I know she listens to you, I would like you to have a talk with her, convince her of Albert's worth''

''I think you have overestimated my powers of persuasion, The Queen does not always listen to me''

''In that case, maybe you should spend less time around her, I know she looks at you as a distraction from the inevitable, and maybe a little more than a distraction. But I hope you know nothing could ever become of this, it would cause a great discredit to her. Her age and inexperience will not show her this until it is to late''

''I can only do what The Queen asks of me, I cannot avoid my job at the sake of a marriage''

''Well perhaps you should think in Victoria's best interests'' Leopold warned before walking back into the room.

Melbourne stood for a moment, thinking carefully, his heart felt as though it had dropped. Everything inside him told him not to, but his legs took him towards the doors of the palace, walking out he stepped into his waiting carriage, and the driver lead him out of the grounds.

=======================================================================================================

Victoria looked at the clock on the wall. It was 3pm, the winters light was beginning to fade outside. Lord Melbourne had not come to the palace today.

She had not seen him since the evening of the dance, she had walked out on Albert who was being insistently rude. Nothing bad had happened between them, so she felt no need to worry about it, however she did.

She had been restless most of the afternoon. Her mind began to wander. She had to do something.

''There you go ma'am, this colour suits you so well'' Mrs Skerrett commented on the Queen's appearance.

''Thankyou'' Victoria spoke politely as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her deep velvet riding outfit hugged her figure beautifully.

Walking towards the stables her Uncle Leopold passed her.

''Good afternoon Victoria, I see you are off riding, who are you going with?'' He asked politely, but Victoria could sense an air of suspicion to his voice.

''Why does it concern you?'' She stood rigid to him, she was not in the mood to be insulted today.

''I was merely making conversation'' He folded his arms in front of him

''Well if you must know I am going riding alone this afternoon, and I must go as the evening light is drawing in'' Victoria went to walk off, spotting Albert walking down the corridor.

''Albert'' Leopold spoke up from behind Victoria ''Would you like to accompany Victoria out on a ride?'' Victoria spun around and glared at her Uncle.

''Are you riding alone?'' His voice came from beside her, cool and collected

''Yes, I am'' She faced Albert, ''And I do not wish for any company, I will see you at dinner'' The Queen walked off quickly, avoiding any further conversation.

The air had a bite to it this evening, another sharp frost was surely on its way. Her horse padded across the grass tracks, heading into the even darker woods Victoria allowed her thoughts to drift away from her, thinking of everything that had happened in the last few weeks, how her life had changed so quickly. She hoped it would not always be like this.

Almost impulsively, she looked to her right-hand side, expecting to see her riding companion beside her, but he was not there, and she suddenly felt very lonely. She knew that the guards where behind her a distance away. Lord Melbourne would often assure them of her safety and they would follow at a much greater distance, allowing the couple to talk in privacy, but tonight they were closer, for she was alone.

''I suppose you miss your friend to'' Her hand pressed on the horse's neck, who almost silently agreed. She loved riding, it always cleared her head.

Squeezing the horse's sides Victoria popped the animal into a canter, the rocking motion picked up in speed as she went with the horse's movement across the dampening grass. His hooves became heavier as she allowed the horse to pick up in speed a little, as she turned the corridor of trees finished, and exposed a track to the top of a hill. Victoria could not help herself.

Before she could even ask the horse took hold of the bit, almost reading her mind he set off at a gallop, down the long track. The grass became a blur of green as the fading light and speed restricted her vision. Coming out of the long track she headed up towards the top of the hill, leaning forward and spurring her horse who willingly picked it up a gear to take her to her destination.

Tears streamed down her face, the cold air almost freezing them to her cheekbones, her eyes blurred with water, her hands cold through her gloves and the reins, her horse's warmth was radiating up her body, through her dress. Her heart pounding in her chest, her lungs sucking in air as if she hadn't breathed for hours.

As she reached the top of the hill her horse began to slow. Victoria pulled him up to a halt as she looked at the dew beginning to lay across the lower parts of the woodlands and grass. What a view. Turning back the way she came she could see the palace, how far she was from it. The sun had just set, and the light was fading fast now. She stayed up there for a moment, regaining her breath and composure. Her eyes caught sight of some movement further down the hill, to her amazement a herd of red deer had ventured out into the grass to feed.

Victoria stood watching the magnificent animals for a good while. She did not care for killing them, although their meat was supposed to be good. She loved seeing them out in the wild, they were so elusive.

The guards stood at the bottom of the hill, and made way as Victoria walked her horse back down the slope. They bowed their heads as she rode past them, and they followed her back to the palace.

Darkness had long since fell by the time she dismounted her horse. As she entered the palace her mother came running over.

''Drina!'' Victoria was surprised to see her mother so anxious ''I wondered where you had got to, you have been out so long, it is not good to be out in this weather'' She felt the Queen's cold hands.

''I found it very refreshing mama, it was a welcomed change'' Although she could not wait to warm up beside the fire, she was not about to admit that to her mother.

Victoria sat beside the fire, changed and ready for dinner she looked through some of her past art work, in a bid to occupy her mind some more. Lord Melbourne usually killed this time by their conversations, maybe a card game, or walking the halls with meaningless chatter. She had not been away from him much, for he was there with Royal work most days, the day had dragged by at a terrible pace. The longer the time went the harder it was to ignore the fact he had not turned up.

''Excuse me Your Majesty'' Emma spoke from her chair ''You seem very distracted''

''Sorry Emma, I am rather worried about Lord Melbourne'' Victoria looked at her friend who looked down at her hands. ''Do you know something that I don't'' She pried.

''No, Your Majesty, Lord Melbourne is probably at Brocket Hall, he had some matters to attend to, im sure he will be here tomorrow'' Emma assured her, but the Queen did not believe her.  
=======================================================================================================

Victoria placed her knife and fork down as she finished her meal.

''I was hoping you would show Albert around the palace, he is rather interested in the art work surrounding the corridors'' Leopold spoke up to the Queen.

''I suppose so, that is if Albert wants to'' Victoria looked over to the young man, who was still sitting quietly.

''Im sorry?'' Albert looked at Victoria

''Uncle Leopold is trying to make the effort for us to become better acquainted, however you do not seem bothered by the subject'' Victoria's tone caught the attention of the whole table.

''Forgive me Victoria, but I do not wish to beg for your company, if you do not wish to spend time with me then don't'' His honesty struck her.

''Well I have nothing else to do, so I would enjoy the company'' She did not smile at him, but saw a look of surprise on his face.  
========================================================================================================

Melbourne was awoken by a soft hand on his shoulder.  
''Excuse me Priminister, but you have some guests''

''Who?'' His voice still husky from sleep.

''Lady Portman and her husband'' The servant replied awaiting his response. Melbourne sat up and rubbed his face.

''Send them in'' He knew why they were here.

Emma walked in, taking an immediate seat before Melbourne, her husband grabbed a chair and sat beside her. ''I see you were not expecting visitors'' Emma joked looking around the room.  
''It reflects my state of mind'' Melbourne murmured at the woman and got nothing but a sympathetic eye.

''You have been missed'' Emma paused, remembering the repetitive sentence ''Again''

''I had some matters to attend to here'' He lied.

''More important than your Queen'' Emma retaliated

''She is not my Queen'' He replied coldly, he was not in a mood to be joked about.

''What did Leopold want last night? I saw him take you outside and you did not return'' Emma's husband spoke up.

''He thinks I should stay away from the palace for a few days, to allow the Queen to become more acquainted with Prince Albert''

Emma kept quiet, for her husband did not know about their relationship.

''It seems rather secretive though, there is nothing untoward going on so why should you stay away'' Her husband's confusion was genuine.

''I am a distraction to the Queen, she uses my involvement in the palace as an excuse not to spend time with the Prince. If she does not get on with the Prince after I have been away from the palace then it is down to her own judgement'' Melbourne spoke plainly.

''Do you believe that Leopold will accept this?'' Emma spoke up this time ''He is very friendly with Cumberland''

''They cannot keep you away from the palace forever, surely you need to see the Queen at some point'' Mr Portman added.

''There is nothing pressing at the moment, but if the Queen asks for my assistance I will obey her, for it is my job at the end of the day''

The three chatted about a variety of things, despite his first reservations he felt their secret was safe with Victoria's ladies, Emma had clearly not confided in her own husband about their antics at Windsor, and indeed at the palace. Melbourne felt trusted with his two friends.

''I shall ask for the carriage'' Emma's husband spoke as he stood ''Good Night William'' He smiled before heading out the big door.

''Are you sure you're ok?'' Emma spoke once she was sure they were alone

''What can I do about it, I must remain impartial'' His tone changed now, Emma could hear the sadness in his voice.

''You will allow her to marry if she wishes?'' Emma pried

''Of course I would, it would be entirely selfish if I did not allow her that happiness, a happiness I cannot give to her''

''But you have not told her why you are not around, she will begin to worry the more you stay away'' Emma reminded him of his actions.

''If I would of told her she wouldn't of allowed it, her age and inexperience mean that she can draw attention to her own feelings. Its best she doesn't know''

''You do realise who you are talking about don't you?'' Her comment caused a laugh to emit from him.

''As true as that is im sure Albert will entertain her''

''She was beside herself all day today, she didn't return from riding until well after dark, I heard the guards saw her gallop off on her horse, they struggled to keep up with her, then when we sat in her chambers before dinner she was restless. She was forced to spend time with Albert this evening, showing him around the hall ways, but she came back and told us how dry and emotionless he is, she cannot stand him William, I cannot see your lack of appearance is going to change that''

''She may sway her mind with the pressures of her family''

''I do not believe so, you said it yourself she is to impulsive at times, she knows how she feels, at the moment anyway''

''Never the less, I will stay away for a few days, and will see what happens, at least I have complied with the Kings wishes''

''As long as it stops there''  
=======================================================================================================

''Albert said that Victoria could not stand his company this evening'' Leopold broke the silence between him and his sister

''Albert can speak his mind as much as Victoria can. They clash a good deal'' The Duchess replied

''Melbourne is keeping away for a few days, but it won't be for long'' Leopold spoke coldly about the man

''You cannot keep him away forever'' The Duchess warned

''Maybe not, but I intend to for as long as possible, what exactly happened when Melbourne retired as priminister?''

''He won a vote against a slavery bill by only a very small margin, he did not think he would pass another vote against the Tories, so he quit whilst he was ahead''

''I heard that Victoria had a troublesome few days''

''She did yes, it was a huge change and her rein was so new to her. She was lost without Melbourne, much to Sir John's annoyance, she managed to get him back herself''

''Do you know how?''

The duchess shook her head ''She turned down Peel by refusing to replace any of her ladies, then at the self-portrait reveal he came up beside her and offered himself again, she obviously accepted, but I do not know what changed his mind''

''Albert must marry Victoria'' Leopold spat ''There is something going on under the surface between Melbourne and Victoria''

''I highly doubt that'' The Duchess almost scoffed at his words. ''She can turn down Albert if she wants to''

''But she will not'' He looked at his sister.  
=======================================================================================================

4 more days drifted by and Victoria had still not heard or seen anything of Lord Melbourne. Her anxiety about his lack of presence was beginning to turn to annoyance, for he had given her no reason to suddenly disappear, and he had not answered any of her letters.

Victoria began to snap at her family, guests, and ladies.

''Victoria, I was wondering if you had any spare time this afternoon'' Victoria closed her eyes, her ears ringing at the sound of his voice AGAIN.

''Whatever for this time Uncle Leopold, I believe I have done everything with Albert under the face of the sun!''

''Remember who you are speaking to Victoria'' His tone was warning

''And you remember who you are speaking to!'' She shouted ''I do not care how much you want me and Albert to be together, we are not suited, and if you keep pushing me into him every second you get I shall send the Princes away early'' Victoria's anger bubbled up over the surface, she was furious.  
''So, in answer to your question, no I am not free. I am busy this afternoon Uncle''

Leopold did not know what to say. His annoyance was replaced by shock. He watched her walk away from him.

''Emma, I need your carriage please'' Victoria walked into the room, almost shouting at her ladies.

''Is yours not in use ma'am?'' Emma questioned

''Yours is unmarked'' Victoria saw realisation creep over Emma's face. ''Is there something I should know Emma?''

''Where are you planning on going ma'am?''

''To Brocket Hall, to see Lord Melbourne'' Victoria's tone was plain and simple ''Since he has not been round for 4 days, and is not answering my letters it is the only option I have.

''Are you sure that's wise ma'am'' Emma warned

''You seem to be hiding something from me Emma, if you do not wish to tell me then I suggest you allow me to use your carriage immediately'' Victoria warned, her face was set like stone, the lady knew not to push her.

''Of course, you can use my carriage ma'am. Will you need someone to accompany you?''

''No, thank you, I will go and get changed'' Victoria turned and walked back towards her changing room.  
=======================================================================================================

Melbourne was very carefully tending to an orchid that had come out in flower, his glass houses beamed with green leaves and delicate buds alongside bright coloured flowers. The heat of the room meant he had stripped off his jacket, cravat and rolled up his sleeves.

His focus did not falter when he heard the door open and shut, footsteps slowly neared him down the path and stopped when he was sure whoever was here was behind him. He did not look up.

''I hope you closed the door, and I hope it is something dreadfully important seeing as I expressed not to be disturbed'' His voice was deep, and full of concentration.

''You have created your own Eden Lord M'' Her voice rang in his ears, he immediately straightened his back and spun round.

His surprise took the words clean from his lips ''Your Majesty''

''I decided it was best to come in person, seeing as you have been ignoring my summons, letters and have not been coming to the palace''

''I had some matters to attend to here, I was going to come in tomorrow, there are some worrying topics I need to discuss with you''

''Well I am not here for Priministal conversation. I am here to find out why you have been avoiding me'' Victoria kept her tone stern and formal, but her fustration began to diminish as she began speaking to him. She had missed him terribly, but refused to show him this.

''Come and sit down'' Victoria walked towards Melbourne who guided her coated frame over to the chairs. He stood opposite her in the narrow corridor waiting for her to sit. Instead she undone the tie at her coat, revealing her dress underneath, before sitting.

''You have a wonderful place here, The freezing winter air is blocked out, the warmth in this house is incredible''

''It is a marvel ma'am, the plants would never survive in the cold outside, and it makes it more pleasurable to work in, orchids take a lot of time and dedication, but the reward is good'' He smiled fondly at her, but she did not smile back.

''Why have you been avoiding me? Have I done something wrong? Are you cross with me?''

Melbourne sighed, he knew that it wouldn't of been long before she would of forced contact onto him, and truthfully, he was pleased to see her, his age and experience had not done him many favours in the way of leaving her for a few days, the distance only made his heart grow fonder to her character. ''Of course not ma'am, you have done nothing wrong''

''Well I may as well have done'' She huffed ''I have been trapped in that wretched palace, plagued with either my boxes, which is no longer an enjoyable task without your company, or the princes, Albert of which is about as much fun as a piece of wood''

Melbourne smiled a little, inwardly he was glad that she had not felt anything with the prince, although it worried him that her attitude towards him had been swayed by their current predicament. ''The clockwork prince'' He repeated quietly.

''It was lovely of you to dump him onto me Lord Melbourne'' He looked at her, she had not eased her attitude, she used his full name, she was annoyed at him.

''I had my reasons ma'am'' He replied quietly, holding his hands together.

''Well, I would like to know what they are, for I feel it was unfair of you to do this''

''People at the palace believed that you refused to entertain the idea of marrying because of my presence or that you used me as an excuse to avoid spending time with them, so I decided to leave for a few days, to allow you to spend some time with them and decide for yourself''

''Well that's very noble of you, but I cannot understand why you did not tell me about it'' She was being very cold towards him

''You would never have allowed it'' he replied honestly ''And I had to let you come to this choice on your own''  
''Well I haven't come to a choice yet according to Uncle Leopold, myself and Albert cannot stand each other, we seldom meet and do not fight over something. We are forced into company by our elders, and yet despite telling Uncle that we are not suited he is still insisting I should marry''

''He cannot force you to marry ma'am'' He stated simply

''Well he might as well'' She snapped ''I cannot take the constant pressure of this, it is senseless, yes I have made some mistakes in the past, and that my rein has been difficult at times, but surely every Monarch has these problems? I cannot be the only one'' Her tone was becoming frantic ''I have been beside myself these last few days, my household staff must think I am losing my mind''

Melbourne suddenly felt very guilty, When he had resigned as priminister Victoria had been surrounded by people who were only looking out for themselves. He should have known that this would of happened again.

''I cannot do this without you Lord M'' Her voice began to crack as tears spilled from her eyes and down her delicate cheeks. ''I do not know what your intentions are''

''I tried to look past my own intentions ma'am'' He continued calmly and quietly ''For I only have one real intention. I tried to look out for your best interests, and I felt that giving you that chance to ask for marriage and have a happier life was the best thing I could of done for you''

She could not look at him, she closed her eyes and tried to hold back the tears. She had not realised how hard it was not having someone to lean on, she was never able to express her emotions at Kensington, but she felt safe around Lord Melbourne, and un judged, she had offloaded on him many times, and not having him around pushed her back into her old habits. It was much harder than she had once thought. ''It was never my intention to desire you'' She started ''But now that I am faced with possible suitors for marriage I cannot look at them that way, for they are not you. You not being around has not changed that''

Of course, it didn't. Of course, she knew how she felt, she always has done. He was a fool, he had upset her for the sole purpose to please that wretched Uncle, he felt sick. How did he care about her as much as claimed to himself if he made her feel this way? And yet, here she was. Explaining herself to him.  
''You do not have to explain yourself to me ma'am, I was wrong to keep away. I should have supported you''

Memories of his late wife came flooding back. How she had claimed he was not attentive enough to her. Maybe he was just a bad partner…

''I do not know how I became so lucky'' He sat there shaking his head.

''So lucky as to what?'' Her tears had slowed now. The quiet of the Glass house was heavy.

''To of earnt your affection in such a way'' He looked up at her.

''I might of said the same thing, although I do not feel I gave you much choice'' She smiled at him, the first time she had since she arrived

''I didn't need a choice ma'am, I didn't want to put you in a difficult position''

''I knew what I was letting myself in for'' She stated simply, however Melbourne did not believe that she knew all the possible risks.

Victoria looked around her, for the first time since she arrived. It really was beautiful, the vibrant shades of each different plant, the obvious textures that varied in each leaf and stem. The beautiful colours of the orchids as they came out into flower.

Melbourne watched her admire her surroundings. Her eyes landed on a small table, some potted green plants sat there, tiny and delicate like. She stood and walked over to them, he came up behind her.

''Ah, the humble Venus Fly Trap'' He said from over her shoulder, before moving to stand beside her.

''Why is it called that?'' Victoria questioned the tiny plant, which had its centre opened towards the ceiling, the tiny spines on each side of the plant edges reflected the light into the middle of the plant.

Melbourne picked up a dead fly from the table, she watched him with curiosity as he dropped it tenderly into the plants centre.  
To her astonishment the seemingly lifeless plant closed its 'mouth' on the prey, covering it and holding it trapped.

''Does it eat it?!'' Victoria asked in shock

''Yes'' Melbourne smirked at her surprised face ''The plant lifts a scent that the flies are attracted to, the minute something lands on these tiny sensors in the middle of the mouth it will close in on the prey, and slowly eat it. Then once its finished it will open and wait patiently again.

''How remarkable'' Victoria could not believe what she was seeing. ''What other treasures have you got hiding in here''

''I will show you'' He clasped his hand on the small of her back and guided her through the glass house. Victoria admired every tiny flower, every small detail which many people would choose to ignore, he loved the interest she put into things.

''I would love to attempt to draw some of these flowers Lord M, they are remarkable when they are still on the stem, not that I do not love the gifted ones you send but these are just...'' She cupped her hand under a certain stem, which had 8 flowers on it in total. Melbourne felt a sudden tinge of pride, that somebody loved his flowers as much as he did.

''I would love to see them drawn, they do not last very long, and the plant often takes a good while before its capable of flowering again, capturing it on paper would be remarkable''

''I shall remember that'' Victoria looked out to the darkness, from the inside of the house, where she stood, she could make out their reflection, she was small compared to him, he towered over her.

She turned towards him. ''Will you dine at the palace tonight, I do not think I can bare another night of forced conversation''

''I would be honoured ma'am'' He turned and faced her. Taking her hands in his own he squeezed them a little. ''You are the sovereign, we are your subjects. Whatever trials you may endure, nothing will change that''

She smiled at him. ''I have missed you Lord M''

 _ **Hope you enjoyed this one. Any thoughts good or bad. Please leave a comment.**_


	11. A Gentleman

**A Gentlemen  
** _ **Very strong M rating for this chapter, if you don't like that kind of thing then don't read it! Hopefully I have done this justice. Enjoy**_

Victoria felt Melbourne's hand rub down one shoulder, his touch was comforting to her. She continued to look into the blazing fire that he had stoked up. Sitting on the divan she un done her coat once more.  
The heat from the glass houses against the cold crisp air outside was beyond words. Victoria had always enjoyed the cold air. It almost cleansed her lungs as she breathed it in. But the contrast of the two left her favouring the warmer temperatures.

William sat down beside her, he had a glass of brandy in his hand. Victoria grabbed the wine he had poured into a glass for her. The evening was nearing, it would not be long until they had to head back to the palace.

''I do not know how to proceed'' Her voice was quiet and unsure.

''Neither do I ma'am'' He admitted to her.

''I am worried that my Uncle Leopold will force me into marriage'' Victoria looked over towards her partner.

Melbourne observed the way the fire light danced across her face. She looked so young, yet held such responsibility. ''I do not believe he can do that'' Melbourne had done what King Leopold had asked and had kept away from the palace for a few days, but he knew the King would not be happy to see Melbourne at dinner this evening.

''He is very forceful in trying to get us to spend time together, he has always kept in touch with me, I always looked at him like a father kind of figure. But im starting to think a little differently, as he doesn't seem to mind that Myself and Albert are miserable in each other's company''

''Sometimes the prospect of power and wealth overcomes the emotional factors within a royal family''

''Maybe'' Victoria contemplated ''But if that is his intention it only deters me further from him. Perhaps I should have a word with him''

Melbourne nodded in agreement before taking another sip of his drink. He glanced at the clock.  
''What time do you want to leave for the palace ma'am?''

''As late as possible'' She sighed before leaning back on the divan. She was relaxed in his presence, and he too felt at ease with himself. The most he had for days.

His quiet humming of laughter caused her to sit back up. ''What?'' A smile dancing on her lips

''Your presence ma'am, it is very … alluring''

''Hmm, maybe that's why I have all these awful Princes chasing after me. Although the Russian Duke was not so bad''

''I found him most disrespectful towards you ma'am, his hand travelled to far down your back for my liking'' Melbourne huffed

She caught his facial expression changing.

''Will you stay tonight, after dinner?''

''I do not think that is wise''

''What if I was to flatter you?'' Her smile widened as a smirk crossed his face.

He shuffled closer to her then, his eyes didn't leave hers. She kept still as he lowered his head down to hers, he was inches from her face, his eyes fell to her lips which were already parted. She could smell him, he was so close to her, yet not one single part of them touched.

She felt her wine glass shift from her hands, she instinctively went to grab the glass, only to realise he had taken it from her hand, and delicately placed it on the table out of reach.

''Best not to drink too much ma'am, you are getting over confident'' his voice was deep and husky, it sent shivers down her spine.

''I seem to recall our encounter in the Library, how we did not finish what we started'' She swallowed, her mouth felt dry, she wanted her wine.

''Perhaps we should put that to rights'' His voice, was so… deep. She had never heard him like this. Her heart began to accelerate and the butterflies in her stomach returned. Her body practically sung with unspoken promise.

He looked back at her again, her smile was beautiful, even in the dim light of room. He leaned in towards her, and this time he placed a delicate, almost feather like kiss to her lips. He pulled away from her a touch, her eyes were closed. Her body relaxed and still. He kissed her again. He kept it delicate, as if she might fade away. He felt her hand rest on his thigh as she leant into his frame a little more, he smiled against her lips as he snaked his hand around her waist, pulling her in towards him as he deepened the kiss a little.

Every intimate moment with this man may as well be a completely new one, her skin came alive with senses that seem to be awoken in a different perspective. Her body was alight to his touch. Yet his ministrations were so minuscule, so careful.

Victoria opened her mouth a little, granting him access with his tongue, but he did not take it, instead he kept the kiss sensual and slow, nibbling on her bottom lip every now and then as he felt her lean in closer and try to deepen the kiss herself.

''Your skin is like the finest silk'' He murmured as he broke from her mouth and trailed kisses down her neck. Her breathing became laboured as she tilted her head backwards, granting him further access. He kissed back up to her ear lobe, and nipped at the skin there. The sensation her to jump slightly. Her hands had begun their own journey around his body, exploring the features of his skin under the fabric of his clothes.

''You have been made by the gods Victoria'' She almost moaned then, but seemed to stop herself from doing so.

''Say it again'' She whispered, her breathing was faster now, her voice barely audible.

''Victoria'' He said it slower this time, his voice a touch deeper. Her eyes met his, and just for a moment, everything was forgotten. ''You like it when I say your name''

A blush crept up her face and down her neck as she looked down at her hand, still clasped against his thigh.

''It sounds wrong, when you say it, as if its forbidden''

''It is in a way'' He lifted her chin, so his eyes met hers, cradling her face in his hand.

''Everything that is forbidden is good'' She whispered, her eyes searched his as they shimmered in the dulling light of the fire.

It was her turn to kiss him now, he could taste her hunger, her desire for him as she silently begged him to deepen the kiss. He pushed against her, her back fell onto the divan, he had her pinned underneath him, her hands crept up to his face, grabbing hold of his hair as he sealed her mouth in a kiss once more.

Her body writhed underneath him, he felt her rubbing against his frame through the layers between them. His own arousal was stirring but he could not indulge.

''Undress me'' She almost commanded as he continued to work on her neck, his hand ran up her side, pressing against the curves of her body.

''I cannot, for we must leave soon'' He kissed her once more before sitting back up. He helped her to sit up to.

She shuffled back so she was next to him, he picked up his glass and took a long sip of his brandy. Trying to grasp his thoughts back. They were alone, no eyes, no palace. He could have her here and now, if it wasn't for the stupid time limit. What luck he shared.

''Will you stay after dinner tonight, so we can… continue what we started'' He felt her hand drift over his crotch, she bit her bottom lip as she relished in what she could feel.

''Can you not bite your lip'' He said, his own voice beginning to falter now as he was losing his own self-control.

''Why ever not?'' She mocked her confusion towards him, he just grunted at her, closing his eyes as he tried to regain his composure.

Victoria could tell he was struggling, her excitement pushed her to tease him, to see just how far he would go. ''I find the prospect of eating without being dutifully satisfied upsets me a good deal''

His eyes opened, turning to face her he could see the sparkle she held in her eyes.  
''Then you know how I feel most days''

''I do not mind being late'' Victoria continued. Her hand traced up his thigh, working closer towards his crotch. When she reached her destination, she applied a little pressure to the delight that she found there.

He closed his eyes. Trying to find some inner strength. He wanted her, so badly. Being in a safe and secluded place was not helping, for he was running out of excuses.

His eyes locked onto hers. Victoria bit down on her lip once more. And to her delight something within him snapped.

He kissed her, he moved to her mouth faster than she had expected. His lips worked against hers, drawing them into his own, running his tongue along the roof of her mouth, his breath mingling with hers. It was not desperate, or clumsy. It was passionate, full of love and devotion.

He bit down on her bottom lip. Victoria moaned into his mouth as the slight stab of pain sent shivers down her spine, her hand continued to work against his arousal, growing within the confines of his trousers. He wanted to see her, to pleasure her body the way that he had imagined doing so.

He parted from her, holding out her hand he helped her to her feet. Victoria turned around and she felt the clasps on the back of her dress begin to loosen. Melbourne kissed her bare shoulders and the back of her neck.  
His warm lips left her skin positively throbbing as the air of the room hit her bare flesh. Victoria shedded the sleeves of the dress and watched it slip to the floor, stepping out of it he began to work on her corset. He paused when the corset fell to the floor. Looking down at her bare back. His finger traced down her spine, her back arched against his touch as if his finger were made of the hottest coal.

A filthy thought possessed him as he kissed and bit her shoulder. He had tried many things with women, but with Victoria being Queen he had found himself more reserved in certain acts they had been involved in. But standing here, she was not a Queen, but a woman.

Victoria still had her back to him. He explored her skin. His hands running up her sides cupping her bare breasts from behind. Her murmurs and sighs of pleasure goaded him on.  
Kneeling on the floor he kissed the small of her back and round her hips.

Her skin was on fire. She could not see him. The anticipation of what he might do next alerted her senses, every touch, every kiss sent jolts of pleasure to her core. Her stomach was tight with anticipation, her breath was short and sharp.

Her whole body jumped as he ran a single finger up the back of her bare leg, right up her thigh. It tickled in such a glorious way.

''Try and keep still'' Melbourne said, his voice deep, almost to the point where he couldn't recognise it.  
He did it again. Victoria bit her lip hard as she fought the urge to move away. His hand traced over her backside before completing the same act down the other leg.

Victoria had her eyes closed. Her body entirely focused on his ministrations. He kissed her thigh and the bare cheeks of her backside. Her lips held his name on the tip of her tongue, she moaned, whispering sweet nothings into the room.

His hands focused their attention to her backside, tracing the lines and curves they held. His hand slipped down the inside of her thigh, and without thinking Victoria widened her stance, exposing herself further to him.

He ignored the throbbing in his trousers as he murmured ''Good girl'' But Victoria heard it clearly. To no surprise and pure delight, he found her to be deliciously wet. His finger slipped between her legs, just enough for her to feel it.

''Please'' She whispered again, loud enough for him to hear It. He kissed the inside of her thigh, revelling in the way she parted her legs a little further for him.

 _No,_ He thought to himself _. All good things to those who wait._ He wanted to taste her, to make her moan that little bit louder, to cry his name.

He stood once more, his hand remained between her thighs as he pressed his own arousal against her side, a groan emitted from his throat as he kissed her shoulder.  
Victoria was beginning to lose patience as she pressed her body into him further.

His other hand crept under her arm and cupped her breast. Rubbing his palm over the erect nipple before pinching it firmly.  
She moaned, much louder this time as her body arched into his touch.

He kissed behind her ear before turning her around. Her eyes met his straight away before they travelled down her naked body. Looking at every curve, every feature she held.

Victoria reached up and unpinned the single plait, allowing it to fall down her back. She didn't break eye contact with him as she dropped the pins on the table she stood beside.

''Don't let me forget this'' She whispered to him.

That was it. He found he lost all his self-preservation then. For she was his.

He pulled her into another kiss, and this time he matched It with her own fustration and hunger. Her hands ran down his clothes untying his cravat, shirt and trousers. The shirt hung off his arms as his bare chest became exposed to her.

He visibly shuddered as her hand traced over his cotton underwear. Trying to focus her attention on her actions as his hands travelled down her body whilst he worked on a rather sweet spot behind her ear with his lips.

Victoria managed to get her hand beneath the confines of his underwear and couldn't help but gasp at the feel of him against her hand. He pushed his hips towards her as she worked him with her hand.

He groaned, an almost primal sound.  
''I want you to teach me'' Victoria almost whispered in his ear as though people were listening ''I want to know how to pleasure you, just like you do to me''

His hand slipped back between her thighs, but he did not tease her this time, slowly he slipped a finger inside of her, holding back his own arousal as he felt her body clench deliciously around him.

''Victoria'' He moaned again, closing his eyes for a moment as she moaned and sighed in his ear.  
''I cannot wait any longer'' He confessed and to her delight he shedded his trousers and underwear. Exposing himself to her.

Her eyes visibly sparkled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Pulling herself flush against him.  
He kissed her, his hot breath mingling with her own as he nipped at her bottom lip, drawing her into him even more.

He parted from her ''Turn around'' Victoria complied, but couldn't hide her confusion.

Lord Melbourne encouraged her to lean her weight across the divan which in turn tilted her bottom half up towards him. He ran his hand up the inside of her thigh so that she parted her legs, widening her stance.

Holding her hips still with one hand he used the other to work her sex, drawing her up into his hand. When he slipped a finger inside of her Victoria found the feeling to be an entirely different one. Pleasure flooded her body as he worked her in his new position.

Melbourne did not do this for very long, for the urgency of his own desire was becoming impossible to ignore. She felt the loss of his hand for less than a few seconds as he positioned himself and slowly eased into her.

Victoria went to speak, but found it to difficult. Her breath caught in her throat as she experienced this new sensation. Her body felt full as he stilled inside of her.

''Relax Victoria'' Her name, dropping from his lips, turned her insides to jelly. As his hand ran down her spine she felt the muscles in her back begin to relax, and her body, to her surprise, accepted him further.

His hand traced back up her spine, floating over the plait that she had undone from its pins earlier. Taking a hold of it he gently applied some pressure. Victoria moaned much, much louder this time as she lifted her head to his hand.

He began to move slowly inside of her. Feeling her body relax and accept him with every thrust he took. He struggled to keep his instincts in check as the desire to make her scream his name kept popping up in his head.

He wanted her to feel the power of teasing, temptation, and prolonging desire.  
He increased the pace slowly as she began to match his thrusts with her own.

''William'' Victoria moaned into the divan, her voice faltering. He could feel her desperation rising, her body clenched and tightened around him in such a delicious way. She was close, and he found himself very thankful for that as his own desire took hold.

''What do you want?'' He asked, as he bent over slightly and increased the pace a little, drawing her body up tighter still.

''I want you'' She moaned ''I want you to…'' She moaned again, unable to speak as her body focused all its attention on him, on the wonderful feelings he was giving to her.

She felt that tightness she had grown to love, that feeling she felt right before everything came crashing in. Her body was right on the edge, but he was holding her there. She felt her desperation growing.

''Please'' She almost begged him. In fact, she was pretty sure she did beg him.

Melbourne released the plait he had gripped, his hand travelling round her body, moving across her breast and down her stomach. ''Let go... Victoria'' he moaned as his fingers traced over that sensitive spot. The spot that he had not yet touched, yet seemed to hold all the pleasure she experienced, and she screamed.

He thrusted into her much harder a handful of times as her body convulsed around him her moans became louder as he played out her orgasm like a cord being struck on the piano. He found his own release there to. Moaning her name over and over in his head.

He leaned over her. Their bodies still connected. Their skin shining with sweat. He ran his hand down her loosened back and kissed her shoulder before parting from her.

Victoria rolled onto the divan, her naked body cooling down as her heart rate and breathing returned to normal. He had disappeared, she thought to herself as her eyes began to drift shut.  
She vaguely remembers the feeling of a blanket covering her.  
========================================================================================================

Victoria's eyes slowly opened to the delicate hand on her shoulder. Lord Melbourne's eyes met hers as she awoke from her sleep.

Victoria sat up, the blanket slipping from her shoulders, she observed her surroundings and slowly the events of the evening came back to her.

''What time is it?'' Her voice was still groggy with sleep

''It is...'' He picked his pocket watch out of his coat ''nearly 7 30''

''We have missed dinner'' Victoria whispered.

''Indeed we have ma'am. However, I cannot say I am entirely disappointed'' He smiled at her as she blushed''

Victoria sat up, the blanket slipping further from her slender frame. He tucked a lock of her curly brown hair behind her ear. ''What is it?'' She asked as he continued to study his face.

He smiled and shook his head a little ''I will never get over how beautiful you are''

''Even when I have been asleep'' She joked

''Waking up to your face every morning would be a treasured privilege'' Victoria kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck she felt his hands sit on her side. It was then she realised she was naked underneath the blanket.

''Such the gentlemen Lord M.'' Victoria smirked, a feeling of glee washed over her as he laughed.

'' I do not think I can be called a gentleman the entire time I am in your company'' Lord Melbourne looked down at her lip, using his thumb he pulled it out of the confines of her teeth. ''Do not bite your lip'' He stood up ''You should get dressed'' helping Victoria to stand to. ''You shall most certainly be missed at the palace now''

Victoria played a round of cards. The group divulged in conversation for much longer than she had expected. They all seemed relaxed. Melbourne chatted with Emma's Husband about political matters, and Victoria about events that had happened over the last few days. The ladies all agreed that King Leopold was being most forceful.

Victoria did not care much for card games tonight though, she felt tired, the feeling of contentment clouded her mind as she remembered the evenings events. Victoria traced her lips with her fingers, a small smile rose from her as she remembered in finer detail just how he had made her feel.

When Victoria looked up towards him he saw his gaze burning into her. Taking a sip of his brandy, he did not take his eyes off hers.

''It is getting late'' Victoria spoke in Emma Portman's ear. ''I must discuss a matter of state with Lord M, then I shall retire'' Emma smiled and nodded.

Victoria rose from her seat and walked towards Lord Melbourne. ''I wish to have a word in private Lord M''

As the couple exited the room Emma Portman's husband walked towards his wife.  
=======================================================================================================

''Is that wise of William, to spend so much time alone with the Queen'' He spoke up from beside her.

''There is a political matter they have to discuss, William did not want to worry the Queen in front of people'' Emma lied

''He did not mention anything to me about it, perhaps I should speak with him''

''No'' Emma started ''Leave them, William does not need someone else chasing him, Victoria does that for him anyway, he will be back shortly'' Emma smiled at her husband as she went back to join the ladies, but she could see the man's uncertainty.  
=======================================================================================================

''People will talk'' William watched Victoria unpin her hair, the neat plait fell over her shoulder once more.

''They talk enough as it is'' Victoria reminded him

''Anybody could walk in'' He looked around at the doors situated around the room.

''It is late now, nobody is going to come round at this hour''

''What do you wish to discuss?'' He leant against the wall.

''I am finding it increasingly difficult to focus, after the events of this afternoon'' Victoria admitted.

He came away from the wall then, walking slowly towards her with his hands clasped in front of him. ''I should hope so ma'am, you are not supposed to forget it. You will feel better after a good nights sleep''

''I fear I will not sleep much tonight. I can remember everything, in such detail'' Victoria frowned as she tried to study her thoughts.

''What are you thinking about?'' He asked plainly. But when Victoria looked at him she saw his expression. It was dark, naughty.

He stepped closer to her, their bodies almost touching. Victoria had leant on the table in which she did their boxes, she found she was unable to move. She looked up at him, her lips parted, a blush creeping down her neck.

''What are you thinking about?'' He asked her again, his voice deeper.  
''How you teased me when I had my back to you, running your hands down my legs, kissing my…neck'' Victoria swallowed, her mouth dry as she struggled to turn her thoughts into words.

''And what else?'' He pried.

''How good it felt to… feel you, and when you say…'' Victoria trailed off, releasing a sigh as she felt his fingers trace up her neck. Her eyes fluttered shut as she tilted her head and focused on his hand, his featherlike touch on her skin.

''When I say your name'' He whispered in her ear. Victoria sighed as her hands wrapped around his waist, tracing the line of his trousers then up his torso to his chest. The feel of his skin under the fabric of his clothes.

He grasped her chin with his fingers locking her lips to his without warning, biting her lip and pulling it with his teeth.

He parted from her. Relishing in the way she was breathless already. ''Don't. Bite. Your. Lip''

She opened her eyes, catching onto his as they shared the same air. Victoria kissed him again, drawing her body closer to him. The kiss was slow and sensual, she felt his hands slipping down her small frame before he broke from her lips and lifted her off the floor, seating her on the desk he stepped between her legs, as far as her dress would allow anyway.

Lord Melbourne pulled her lips back into his own. This woman worked his senses in a way he didn't believe possible anymore. He found himself unravelling as he became more and more lost in her again.

His hand traced up her back, feeling the end of her plait, he grabbed it and gently pulled it down. The action pulled Victoria's head back, as he trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck. She hummed her appreciation as he kissed, nipped and sucked her skin. Right down to her collar bone. His breath tickled her as he made his way back up to her mouth, sealing her in a more passionate kiss.  
Victoria opened her mouth as his tongue worked along her bottom lip in a sensual pattern. She tried to get closer to him, her dress getting in the way for a second time today.

Her hands untied his cravat, and began to undo his shirt buttons. His hand clasped over hers as he stopped kissing her.  
''We cannot'' He reminded her, but he heard the sadness in his own voice.

''I do not want you to go'' Victoria whispered, her hand tracing the curve of his face.

He remembered waking up with her at Windsor, what a life time away that seemed to be now. ''I will be back tomorrow ma'am'' He stepped away from her watching her nod as she slid off the table.

''Goodnight Lord M'' She kissed him swiftly on the lips, rubbing the corner of his mouth with her finger.

''Goodnight Ma'am''  
Lord Melbourne stepped outside of the room, regaining his composure for a moment before walking towards the front of the palace to his awaiting carriage. Not aware that he was being watched.

 _ **I have spent literally hours tampering with this. I hope and pray I have done it justice! Please leave a review if you can!**_


	12. Rumours

_**Secrets and Lies  
**_

_**I would of updated sooner but I have been competing in Brazil. So, for the last few days since returning I have been trying to adjust to the British climate again. I hope you enjoy.**_ _ **  
**_

Lord Melbourne stood against the window, looking outside onto the grounds as the morning's sunshine kissed the land. He took a sip of his coffee, mulling over his thoughts for the day ahead.

A knock at the door signalled his attention, turning he saw the servant walk in, a worried and slightly uneased expression covered his face as he held the paper in his hand.

''Forgive me sir, but I feel the paper is of importance to you this morning'' Lord Melbourne nodded as he watched the servant place the paper on the table beside his chair and make a hasty exit.

The paper was often of importance to him, matters in parliament, and with him being priminister meant he often found his name included in something they came up with. But the servant looked awfully awkward about bringing it to him.

He found a sense of hesitation as he walked over to look at the paper. Holding his coffee cup in one hand he unfolded the paper in the other. As he saw what lied on the front page the coffee cup, complete with his un finished coffee shattered on the floor.

==================================================================================

Victoria walked through the corridors, holding her hands together at her waist she kept her chin high as the staff kept their heads down and hurried past her. Even her ladies felt as though their tongues had been tied.

Of course Victoria had been shocked when her ladies had brought in the paper. Her mind had begun to spin with the possibilities and the risks that ran with it.

But she would not mention anything to anyone until she had spoken to Lord Melbourne.

=================================================================================

''Have you seen this?'' The Duchess walked into her brother's room in a flurry, the two princes sat beside him talking. They both rose when they saw her enter.

''Indeed I have sister'' Leopold looked over the paper before handing it to the princes.

''How awful'' Ernest looked over the headline and drawing in shock.

''I cannot say I am surprised'' Albert glanced over it but did not take the time to read it properly ''She has brought it on herself''

''No'' The Duchess said firmly ''She is young and foolish, but she cannot take the blame for this, this is not her fault''

''Unfortunately sister, it takes two to tango'' Her brother was almost smug about it, ignoring his sisters obvious distress.

=================================================================================  
Victoria did not feel like eating as breakfast was served to her. Picking over some fruit she remained quiet, observing the obvious awkwardness that surrounded the table.

It was rather irritating, she noticed.

How could a mood change so quickly? Last night she had been so happy, she had felt in control, with the support of her friends and the relaxing atmosphere that surrounded itself with it, and yet, after a night's sleep the morning had brought something of a dark cloud over the palace.

Victoria suddenly felt very shameful. She had not processed the papers contents properly, it almost didn't seem real.

Standing from her seat all her ladies did the same, her mother however remained seated. ''I wish to be alone'' Victoria said quietly and walked out of the room, leaving the women sitting in silence once more.

Grabbing one of the papers she had left in her chambers Victoria found a coat and walked towards the doors of the palace.

The sunshine was bright in the winters air as she stepped down the stairs, her feet crunching on the gravel driveway as she made her way to the track lined with trees.

Victoria gripped the paper with such force her fingers grew numb, probably from the cold air. But she wanted to feel pain, to feel something over than guilt and shame at her actions.

She felt the immediate desire to be with Lord Melbourne, to hear his comforting voice and words of advice. But she was sure she would never see him again. He had warned her about this, what the risks were, how much pain a scandal can inflict.

She came to an under covered seating area, the opening of trees circled the little stand.  
Seating herself she unwrapped the paper and read over the words once again. Her breathing became laboured as panic set in.

 _Queen Victoria shamed after series of criminal conversations with scandalous priminister Lord Melbourne._

 _Queen Victoria has allowed her current Priminister Lord Melbourne to manipulate her in many decisions since becoming Queen. It has been recently sourced that the couple are regularly involved in criminal conversations. The Queen has been turning down her suitors including the most recent Prince Albert Saxe of Coburg to stay with Lord Melbourne whom continues to deter her from marriage for his own personal gain._

The drawing illustrated Victoria, kissing Lord Melbourne somewhat passionately as Prince Albert stood watching, a rose hanging from his hand in defeat.

A wave of emotions had run through her since this morning, they all seemed to blur into one. But she felt sick. Lord Melbourne had never manipulated her into doing anything other than what was right for her rein, her public never spoke badly of her within the Priminister's company. After all its considered mandatory for The Priminister to spend so much time with her.

The papers had used 2 weaknesses to make up a malicious story. Victoria was indeed young and to their knowledge inexperienced in love and companionship. Lord Melbourne was much older, wiser and had a reputation which despite not being true, kept haunting him.

She did not even realise she was crying until the drops of her tears hit the paper she was holding. Victoria clenched her eyes shut. Refusing to back down to such nonsense. This would be put right, with or without her family's help.

Screwing up the paper and chucking it on the floor Victoria looked up at her surroundings, breathing in the cool winters air, cleansing her lungs and gathering her thoughts.

==================================================================================

Victoria walked back up the corridors in the palace. She was surrounded by people, yet she had never felt so alone, this was the first huge personal problem that she had faced, and she found that fears of what her public may think troubled her much more than what her family had to think. After all, they shared a dim view on Lord Melbourne's close involvement in her life, so little would change.

And then there was the fact that her ladies had already known of their close relationship after the trip to Windsor, and the dresser Mrs Skerrett. She had little doubt that they would have exposed them.

''You cannot say I didn't warn you'' Victoria closed her eyes as her Uncle's voice ran through her, ringing her ears as she tried to make sense of it all. 

She had not given her family a second thought, she constantly strived to please them, but it was never enough. Yet when faced with a scandal Victoria found she did not care much for their opinion.  
She turned around, facing her Uncle, he looked smug, knowingly happy for the wrong reasons.

''I am sorry Uncle, however I have yet to see any evidence to prove that this is nothing more than a vicious rumour which has found its way into the papers. People talk, it will die down'' She kept her voice confident, but could feel her stomach churn as she realised the mess they where in.

''It will calm down a lot quicker if you prove the rumours wrong...'' He paused walking closer to her. ''Marry Albert'' 

Victoria turned her head and rolled her eyes, sighing in exasperation ''I am sorry Uncle, but the prospect of spending the rest of my life with somebody who I physically cannot stand just to prove some silly half witted rumour wrong is not going to happen!'' She almost shouted at him before turning to walk away.

''I suggest you dismiss your Priminister Victoria, do you not think his name has been blackened enough?'' Victoria sucked in a gasp of air, closing her eyes she tried to regain her composure before walking away.

==================================================================================

Victoria heard the chatter of her ladies coming from behind one of the big closed doors. The doorman went to open the door for her.  
''No announcement, please'' Her voice was quiet and pained.

Walking in her ladies stood in surprise and bowed respectively to the Queen. Victoria seated herself in a chair as the other ladies sat down to. The conversation had stopped, the mood had changed and Victoria suddenly felt very guilty.

''I am sorry, I did not mean to cause such an awkwardness in the room'' She looked hurt, Emma noticed.

''No, Your Majesty, we are sorry'' Emma spoke up ''It is a rather difficult subject to avoid, we do not wish to offend you''

''There is nothing offending about it, the rumours are not true'' Victoria lied ''What worries me the most is what the people will think of me''

''The paper had a very clear insight into your refusal of Albert, the drawing was an exact likeness to the palace'' Harriett noted ''Whoever leaked the false information must of known the private business in the palace''

Emma nodded ''Yes, I never thought of it that way''

Victoria looked at the realisation strike between the two ladies. ''You think somebody here did this?''

Emma contemplated her answer ''Well, it would make sense, after all you haven't announced to anybody else of your refusal to marry Albert, it has never been displayed in public, so whoever told the papers saw what was going on in the palace'' 

''But how do you narrow it down?'' Victoria asked urgently.

''Im afraid I do not know Your Majesty, I would confer with Lord Melbourne, he is more experienced in public affairs, he will know how to handle this'' Emma smiled

Victoria's face changed ''I do not believe I will see him again'' She wanted to hide the sadness in her voice, but found it virtually pointless given her ladies already knew the truth behind the rumours.

''He will not desert you without telling you ma'am'' Emma reassured her ''Remember when he came back from the house and resigned to you, how late it was? He will come and give his opinion, good or bad. But it may not be for a few days'' Emma warned her.

''But he is the Priminister, above everything else he has a right to be here'' Victoria chided.

''Why don't you write to him ma'am, explain your position and that you wish to see him urgently'' Harriett suggested

Victoria nodded ''I will, it is the only way. Uncle Leopold told me I should dismiss him, that his name has been blackened enough. This is my fault. I have caused him so much trouble in my inexperience'' Her voice faltered just a little, it projected the heart ache she was feeling, her ladies held nothing but sympathy for her. 

''You cannot do that ma'am, the rumours are not true, you have no right to. Dismissing Lord Melbourne now will cause the people to suspect something is wrong, and that the rumours are true, your best bet is to leave it be, allow the dust to settle'' Emma reassured her quietly, placing a hand over hers she squeezed it gently, with a soft smile and a kind eye Victoria suddenly felt very safe. 

==================================================================================

''I must say, I am surprised to see you here'' The Duke of Wellington's voice came from the doorway.

''Parliament waits for nobody, not even the Queen'' Lord Melbourne glanced the Dukes way before looking back down at his paper, the same paper he had been looking at for the last 20 minutes.

''Does the Queen know this?'' The Duke asked matter of factly

He did not answer. His eyes scanning the paper, trying desperately to make sense of at least 1 thing today.  
''I did not think so'' The Duke paused. ''Melbourne, you must see her, you are the Priminister, regardless of anything else''

''I thought it was best to leave The Queen with her family today, I am sure they will sort this nonsense out''

''Last time I checked she did not care much for her family, they could be what got her into this mess in the first place'' He paused again, but Melbourne's full attention was now on the duke ''They pushed her your way when you offered to tutor her, they practically put her in your hands''

''That isn't entirely true'' Melbourne admitted. ''The Queen dislikes her mother due to what Sir John had done with her in the past, and her uncle, well he just seems to be a bully''

''Well, either way, you need to put these rumours to rest'' He reminded him ''Do not bury your head in the sand, it is not just your name on that paper'' 

Melbourne looked back at his paper as the Duke quietly walked out of the room. Discarding the document in front of him and grabbing a blank piece of paper he began dipping his pen in his ink well to write out a letter. 

==================================================================================

Victoria sealed the letter with her royal stamp, she had sent it to his resident home in London in the hope he had not retired to Brocket Hall in a bid to escape the judgement. A part of her wanted to go with him, to avoid to disapproving glares, the opinions and spiteful comments.

Victoria stood, turning around she saw the delivery boy walk into her room. Victoria looked at the envelope on the platter.

''How convenient, I also have one for you to send off'' Victoria stated nervously as she saw the messengers awkward posture.

''This one came from the House ma'am'' He said knowingly

Victoria's expression changed, she kept hold of her envelope and took the unopened one from the tray.  
Turning away from the messenger Victoria placed her letter on the desk, before laying the other one beside it.

The messenger had left the room. Victoria quietly closed the double doors to give herself some privacy. She feared the worst.

Her hands followed the seal of the envelope, it came from the house, so he was obviously there today, perhaps he was formally resigning on paper, especially after she pretty much refused him to do that before.

She found herself hesitating, anxiety rushed through her as her mind came up with what could be written on the paper.

==================================================================================

The day turned to night, Victoria had spent much of it painting and wandering the palace in a hope for some un judgemental company. She had not seen her mother or her Uncle Leopold all day, Although, she had not made the effort to find them.

She had wanted to go riding, however her ladies had advised her not to. Sitting indoors all day, with such worries on her mind began to play on her temper a little.

''I am rather annoyed that Lord M has not come to see me today, the boxes alone caused me a great headache'' Victoria said to the now uneased group of women sitting beside her.

''The house is rather busy at the moment ma'am, I suspect Lord Melbourne has been there much of today'' Emma replied cautiously

''Not busy enough to write to me though'' Victoria looked back at the paper in front of her, the painting had been of a vase of flowers, but she was unhappy with the piece.

Her ladies looked at her, catching Victoria's eye. ''I did not open it'' She replied plainly, answering their silent question.

''It may have been of importance'' Victoria looked across at her ladies, but found the voice did not come from there. Turning around slightly she saw her mother standing in the room.

''It may well have been'' Victoria answered ''If it was he will write again, or come to the palace'' Victoria finished quickly

''He may not Drina, he is not new to scandal, you may find Lord Melbourne will not attend the palace for a few days'' Her mother warned, calmly.

Victoria stood and turned to face her mother, she was about to snap at her. But something stopped her from doing so.

Her mother was not smug, or trying to comfort Victoria. The Monarch found it was either one of the other, she was never imbetween. But her mother looked sheepish, guilty even.

''Is there something the matter mama?'' Victoria pried, observing her mother's reaction at her question.

''Apart from the fact you have brought great shame on the palace'' Her tone changed, it became spiteful.

The air was suddenly knocked clean out of Victoria. Turning quickly, she walked away from her mother, out of the room and down the corridor towards a quieter part of the palace. She felt the tears sting in her eyes as her mind raced with thoughts of the day.

She had almost broke into a run down the hall way of the palace, her chambers grew closer, but she did not wish to stop there. Victoria almost ran straight into her Baroness, who came out of her chambers crossing her path.

Victoria ground to a halt, her breath short and sharp as she fought back the tears. Her Baroness looked over her sympathetically and smiled towards her.

Victoria looked at her friend for a few seconds, her tears began to fall down her cheeks as she saw just what she was looking for.

She embraced Lehzen in a hug, clinging to her tightly as she felt her envelope her in her arms.  
No judgement, no opinion, just a friend willing to support her.

Victoria suddenly felt very guilty for not thinking of her Baroness earlier, she had never gone behind her back, or held an opinion against the Queen's at times silly actions. It was something Victoria had gotten used to over the years, but at certain times she could not value her friend enough.  
''Lehzen'' Victoria's voice was breathless as the tears continued to fall.

The Baroness held Victoria's head against her shoulder, just like she used to when she was a child, she held such comfort and support.

Victoria pulled away after a short time, feeling herself regain her composure.

''You have a visitor Your Majesty'' Lehzen wiped Victoria's cheeks dry with her fingers. ''Lord Melbourne is here to see you, I can send him away if you would prefer''

Realism hit Victoria, it was all she had wanted during the day, for him to come and see her, yet now he was here she was unsure of how to proceed.

She shook her head slowly. ''No, I wish to see him. This will not go away on its own'' Victoria smiled at her friend. Her chin lifted as she took a deep breath, walking towards the doors where behind her dearest companion sat waiting for her.

As the doors opened Victoria's eyes scanned the room, they immediately locked on to his. She saw the same expression she carried, one of sadness, anxiety and stress. Suddenly she did not feel as pessimistic as she did. She felt even worse.

 _ **Again, absolutely shite at cliff hangers. Sorry! What will he do? You will have to wait and see. Thanks for reading! Please leave a review**_


	13. Distance

**Distance**

 _ **This chapter pained me whilst writing!** **  
**_

Victoria stood silently in the room, the pair shared a knowing glance towards each other.

''I am sorry I could not come any sooner'' Lord Melbourne spoke calmly ''I have been indisposed at the house for most of the day, that's why I wrote to you''

Victoria looked over to her desk. The letter sat where she had left it. She looked back at him, the silence may as well have been for hours. Finally, she walked towards him and seated herself on the divan, encouraging him to do the same.

Lord Melbourne sat himself beside her, her silence worried him.

''I did not open the letter'' Victoria finally admitted ''I could not bear the thought of what was beneath it'' She looked into his eyes and for the first time since he had met her he saw fear.

''It may have put your mind at rest'' He spoke softly towards her as he saw her nervous stance before looking down at his hands.

''I should have listened'' Victoria whispered ''You warned me something like this would happen, I felt as though I was untouchable'' She scoffed at her own words, hearing her own naivety in her voice.

''Nobody is untouchable to the papers ma'am, and you cannot take the blame, I had a great influence in this as well''

''I have put you in an impossible position Lord M, you told me how hurtful a scandal can be, I have failed you, the palace, the crown. I have ruined everything'' She whispered, her voice broken.

It hurt him immensely to see her in such a way. This usually strong willed, confident woman was talking as though she had been defeated, as though she had no fight left to give to her, her pride and upbeat figure had been submerged in a darkness. It was as though her very being had been swapped with somebody entirely different.

He ignored the ache in his chest as he realised what he must do. The guilt pounded through his veins as he saw her wipe a tear from her cheek.

''Although I have always had my reservations throughout my life I cannot think of one thing I regret about you'' He paused as she looked at him, her eyes wide and shining from unshed tears as she listened to his words ''You have brought me, so much joy and I have experienced feelings I thought had long left my heart. But now I must stand aside, to put this to rights''

Victoria looked at him in shock, tears spilled from her eyes. ''You cannot'' her voice almost panicked as she grabbed his hands and pulled herself closer. ''I do not want you to leave, it is why I did not open your letter. I cannot continue without you Lord M. I will never be able to give my heart to anybody else, for it is yours'' She brought his hands to her lips and kissed them as she held back a sob.

''You must put your crown first'' He spoke quietly as he felt a lump draw into his throat ''You have to show your loyalty to your people, we know how true you are to yourself. But you must prove that to your subjects now''

''But what about my happiness, I cannot be happy without you'' The tears trickled down her cheeks as she struggled to contain herself. ''What about you?''

''Happiness will find you, if you give it time'' He responded slowly as he watched her cry, lifting his hand to her cheek he wiped her tears with his thumb. ''Loving you was always going to have consequences''

His words where sharp, like a knife to the stem of a rose. She had felt broken before, worrying about everybody surrounding her, but now she felt shattered, as though somebody had smashed every emotion she had contained inside for years on end. The thought of being Queen without him was to hard to bear.

''I told my family I would not dismiss you, that I would stick by you as the rumours where not true. I never had any inclination to part from you. My worry lies in the uncertainty of the situation'' Her voice began to calm a little.

''But your uncertainty would be solved if I retired from parliament and disappeared, I am happy to do this, it would solve the problem''

''No, it would not! The rumours will die down, surely'' Victoria started ''You retiring from parliament would cause me even further distress, I cannot choose a new priminister and deal with this, the public would surely be even more unnerved by it all. I would have to change some of my ladies and staff. No'' She was stern now ''I will not accept that''

''They are probably expecting me to retire, given the circumstances already, I think they would be more upset if I remained'' Lord Melbourne pointed out ''And it wouldn't do either of us any good spending so much time within each other's company''

''You are my priminister as well as my advisor, that has not and will not change'' Her tears had stopped as she began to feel the need to fight for at least one thing to remain the same in her life.

Victoria grasped his hands again, clutching to them as she realised she would not have this anymore, she sat close to him as their legs touched, looking into his eyes she saw the pain he was feeling, how it was aging his features slightly. ''I am unwilling to do any of this. I simply cannot imagine my life without you'' She paused as she felt the tears begin to rise once more ''But I cannot continue as Queen without you just yet, please stay as Priminister, even if it means going back to how we used to be'' The thought sickened her, but the idea of not seeing him at all sickened her even more.

He sighed as he mulled over her words. It would not be looked greatly upon, he knew what the people wanted, what they where waiting for. But he could not ignore the fact he felt the same, and that seeing her, even as a Queen would be better than nothing. ''Perhaps we can trial it'' He said slowly. ''But you may find you have no choice but to dismiss me''

Victoria felt a wash of relief and for the first time today released a small smile towards him. ''We will cross that bridge when we come to it'' Victoria replied. She looked down at their hands, his thumb was stroking over her knuckles, such a soft, delicate touch had become something Victoria had craved over time. Knowing she would not receive it anymore made her feel a great pain through her chest.

''Do you still love me?'' She asked nervously, knowing he had yet to utter the words in such a way.

''I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't''

=======================================================================================================

Victoria looked across the quiet table at dinner, nobody was speaking, an air of awkward silence covered the room.  
''Oh, for goodness sake'' Victoria's voice echoed across the room louder than she had expected ''Nobody has died!'' She looked around the table as everybody looked at her. ''Today has been difficult, but I can assure you that the rumours are not true. It is just some scandalous lie, somebody in the palace wished to make money out of my private life, and when I find out who they shall be dismissed''

''How do you know it was somebody in the palace'' Victoria's mother answered her daughter statement. Victoria looked across at her, she had hardly seen her mother all day. Something was not right, she was not her normal self.

''The papers drawing gave away too much of what goes on inside the palace to justify it being anybody from outside, of course the public know Lord Melbourne is my priminister and my advisor but nothing untoward has happened in public to insinuate anything other than that''

The table of people nodded and hummed in agreement. Victoria saw her mother look down at her plate of food which had hardly been touched.  
''You have visited Lord Melbourne on more than one occasion, without any state matters, people talk, it is not impossible for the rumours to of come from outside the palace'' Uncle Leopold almost glared at Victoria, expecting her to back down a little.

''But the public have never seen me turn Albert away'' Victoria replied plainly, ignoring the fact that Albert sat at the table. ''And perhaps, Uncle, if you had allowed myself and Albert to become acquainted by our own accord this would not have happened'' Victoria lied. She would have turned Albert away 100 times if Lord Melbourne was beside her asking for her hand. But her Uncles persistence had annoyed her a good deal.

Her uncle scoffed at her words and chose not to reply.  
''I have decided to keep Lord Melbourne as my Priminister and advisor. Changing him now would only cause more upheaval to the public and to the palace. I do not wish to endure that'' Victoria saw many of the faces around the table smile and nod.

''I think you have done the right thing ma'am, after all if it is not true why should you make such drastic changes'' Emma replied. Harriett hummed in agreement beside her.

Victoria heard them, but kept her eyes on her mother, who was not looking anywhere but at her dinner plate.

========================================================================================================

Victoria looked down at herself in the mirror, ready for bed Mrs Skerrett was brushing out her long hair, allowing it to fall down her back.  
''Some days this is all I look forward to'' Victoria's eyes found the dressers in the reflection of the mirror. ''My hair causes a great weight when its pinned up'' She continued ''Its refreshing to have it fall naturally''

The dresser smiled before continuing to brush out her hair. ''What do you think of the papers?'' Victoria questioned her.

''Rumours can be vicious ma'am, it is hard not to give in'' Mrs Skerrett replied slowly.

''And if they are not rumours'' Victoria pushed, knowing full well that she knew the truth.

''It makes such situations even harder ma'am''

Victoria hummed in agreement. ''Do you think I have done the right thing, keeping Lord Melbourne as my priminister?''

''It is not for me to say ma'am'' Mrs Skerrett replied cautiously.

Victoria turned and faced the young woman, they where of similar age, and Victoria often valued her opinion. ''But I am asking''

Mrs Skerrett was quiet for a moment ''I feel you would be very unhappy without Lord Melbourne's company. In whatever way you choose to take it, something is better than nothing''

''Even if the very thought of it hurts me'' Victoria prompted.

''Love is blind. Lord Melbourne would no doubt find it very difficult to cope without you, so I would say you are not alone'' The dresser smiled

''The thought of things returning to the way they where is not appealing'' Victoria turned back around allowing the dresser to continue with her hair.

''Challenges come in many shapes and forms ma'am. You must stay true to who you are, as a Queen and as a woman''

''I feel broken'' Victoria admitted ''As though I have been ground down to dust''

''You cannot let them break you ma'am. Rumours can be hurtful, but only if you let them be'' The dresser finished her hair and placed the brush on the table before backing away.

''I chose wisely before going to Windsor'' Victoria replied as she turned around.

The dresser smiled and bowed before leaving the room.

=======================================================================================================

4 days passed. Victoria had not seen or heard from Lord Melbourne, her boxes had been pretty easy and straightforward. She had kept her head down and focused on the work she had, but she found herself growing restless.

 _He had not resigned_. She kept reminding herself. _He will be here soon_. Victoria had known he would stay away for a few days. Mainly because he wanted the rumours to settle a little before appearing again. There was another headline written about her. It was regarding to her loyalty to Lord Melbourne and that she wished to keep him close and within the crown, but it had not tarnished her reputation. If anything, it proved her loyalty to her subjects.

Walking down the palace corridors in a bid to find something to do Victoria stumbled across a painting. The piece hung on the wall in a huge golden frame. Queen Elizabeth. Victoria looked at the great painting, recalling when her and Lord Melbourne had talked over her ruling, how happy she had been back then, at the thought of ruling alone with only companions. The thought still appealed to her now. But she knew it would never happen.

Loosing Lord Melbourne as her companion had hurt her. Since he had left she had not eaten much, her attitude had changed and her voice almost lost. She had put her crown first, complying with royal duties and occupying her mind. But she missed his company, his voice, the fun they shared as friends, and everything that came with that.

''I was admiring this yesterday'' Albert's voice dragged Victoria back into the real world. She saw him stood beside her.

''The Queen that did not follow the rules'' Victoria replied ''And yet, years on I find myself complied to follow orders''

''Your family only want what is best for you'' Albert replied slowly.

''Except they don't always know what is best for me'' Victoria said honestly

''No, but allowing them to guide you does not harm you, you can make changes along the way, but they are obviously more educated than you are''

''Yet I am Queen'' Victoria snapped ''Just because I am young and a woman it does not put me at a disadvantage''

Albert sighed ''I never said it did. I am not referring to your sex Victoria. Your mother knows a great deal, but you choose not to listen to her, as does our Uncle. Accepting guidance does not limit you to their wishes, it merely sets a path for you to begin with''

Victoria listened to his words, he spoke such wisdom, it annoyed her a little that he was so much more educated than her. ''I wish to ride out, I have been kept under house arrest for long enough, the people will have calmed by now, do you wish to join me?''

She saw the look of surprise on his face before he smiled and nodded. Victoria walked off to her chambers to change, feeling the sense of dread as she realised what she had just done.

Uncle Leopold stood watching out of the window of The Duchess's wing. A smile crept over his face as he saw Albert and Victoria leave off on horseback.  
''You see'' He spoke from the window as the Duchess's sat in her chair. ''It is working like a charm. Lord Melbourne has disappeared, and Albert is finally getting the attention he deserves''

''This is wrong'' The Duchess's remarked. ''What happens when Lord Melbourne returns? Victoria will not turn him away because of Albert''

''She will see in time that Albert is a more suitable choice'' He snapped ''It is a balance of probability, but the ball is now in Albert's court''

''Victoria will be very distressed if she finds out, I do not want that for her, she deserves to be happy'' The Duchess's replied, her voice strained from guilt.

''I did what I had to do'' Leopold replied as the couple rode out of sight he went sat beside her. ''Do not worry yourself sister, everything will be fine''

The Duchess smiled at him as she wiped her eyes, but she was far from convinced.

 _ **Please leave a review if at all possible. Thanks for reading!**_


	14. Comfort

**Comfort**

Victoria felt the butterflies in her stomach as she walked towards her chambers, knowing that for the first time in nearly a week she would see Lord Melbourne. She felt the determination build in her step as she neared the doorway.

Pausing at the door she looked at the handle before taking a deep breath and opening it.

She walked in, her heels tapping on the floor as she saw him turn around and walk towards her. He didn't say anything but dropped down on one knee and kissed her offered hand.

''Good morning Your Majesty'' He said upon standing.

''Lord M, it seems like a lifetime ago since I saw you'' Victoria smiled towards him before walking to the table where her boxes sat. ''Is there anything of importance today?''

''A few documents that require some attention but nothing too strenuous'' He replied, sitting in his usual spot.

Victoria opened one box and pulled the wad of papers out, and Lord Melbourne did the same.

The silence was almost deafening. ''What have you been doing this last week?'' Victoria said to try and lighten the mood.

''I have been exceedingly busy with the house, although I did return to Brocket Hall for a few days, taking a mountain of paperwork with me'' He gave her a small smile. ''Have you been very busy?''

''No'' Victoria remarked quickly ''My mother will not let me leave the house, she says my safety may be at risk as the public are still angry at the papers''

''I have not heard anything from outside the palace ma'am, the people seem to have moved on from it. After all there is a new story every day. I rode to the palace this morning and nobody said anything to me''

''Try telling my mother that. I am sick of this place now. I would give anything to make a public appearance or even just go out in the carriage''

''Have you not seen the public at all ma'am? No speeches or even the mounted troops?'' He enquired

Victoria shook her head ''I am under house arrest'' She smiled and rolled her eyes.

Lord Melbourne was confused. He would have advised on addressing the problem straight away rather than hiding from it. The Duchess's actions confused him, she was perfectly happy to allow Victoria to face the public on the death of her lady in waiting Lady Flora, so why would she try to conceal her daughter from the world over this?

''I would like to go riding this afternoon if that is ok. Mama cannot stop me from riding within the palace grounds, she was perfectly happy to allow me to do it with Albert'' Her tone was cold and sharp.

''You have been spending time with the Prince'' He replied, almost in a questioning tone, he knew it was wrong, that he had no right to, but the stab of jealously hit his stomach was impossible to ignore.

Victoria looked across the table at the stiffened Priminister ''Yes'' Victoria started ''Although his company is somewhat dull. It shocked me how educated he is on certain topics. She paused ''I was looking at that painting of Elizabeth earlier in the week and he came over. He explained to me the reasoning behind my family's actions and the way they behave sometimes, as though I didn't understand. Truthfully, he shed a new light on it, but he is around the same age as me, yet he seems to know a great deal more''

''Knowledge is not wisdom ma'am'' Lord Melbourne replied calmly as he tried to shackle the green-eyed monster inside him. ''You are Queen, he is not. That is something he would never have a complete knowledge of''

Victoria hummed in agreement as she signed another document. ''Perhaps you could talk to my mother about a public appearance. Even with the guards if it would make her feel better. Help me to escape from this place. Please?''

''I can certainly try'' He started ''What about your Uncle? How has he been this last week?''

''Pretty much the same'' Victoria replied ''He tried to shove the guilt on to me the night we last spoke'' She paused as memories came flooding back ''He says I had it coming, and that by coming out to see you would not have gone unnoticed by the public''

''I think he over estimates just how much the public look for such things. Im pretty sure your marked carriage could go through the streets and half of the people will not look''

''He has stopped pushing me on to Albert though, although I have been spending a good deal of time with him, just to kill the hours'' Victoria paused ''Mama has been acting strangely though''

That caught his attention ''In what way?''

''Well for one she hasn't come and seen me since reading the paper, certainly not like she used to. She doesn't check on me when im with my ladies, she doesn't look at me when we dine at breakfast and dinner, and is very very quiet. I have been thinking about asking her if there is anything the matter, but she seems to be avoiding me''

''That is strange ma'am'' He replied as he to signed his name and looked back up towards the pile of un touched paperwork. ''Perhaps she knows something'' he joked.

''What do you mean?'' Victoria looked at him with slight determination ''About the papers?''

His face fell ''I was joking ma'am, your mother would never do anything like that''

''Yes, well I certainly wouldn't put it past her'' Victoria spat

''Either way, now its died down its best to leave it and move on. She may be keeping quiet because of the time you are spending with Albert'' The statement sent a shiver up his spine at the thought of her heart elsewhere.

======================================================================================================

Victoria had thought of nearly nothing all afternoon, even once the boxes where finished. Her mother. Why was she acting so strangely? Did she know something?

Victoria didn't think she could be so cruel, but she is easily persuaded as she recalled all the times Sir John had manipulated her.

She was never close to her mother, and she didn't hold much love for her, but it hurt her deeply to think she was capable of such devastation just to get Victoria to perhaps marry Albert.

''I was thinking of holding a dance, as the Princes leave in 5 days' time''

Lord Melbourne couldn't help but feel joy at the idea of Prince Albert setting off home. Gathering his reins to steady his horse slightly he looked over to Victoria.

She was wearing her velvet green riding outfit; the corset underneath was bound tight as the slim dress hugged her curves and features. The buttons down the front in a dead line as the green dress flowed over her legs and down the horses side. Her hat held her hair in place as the plaits rolled neatly round her ears.

She looked so beautiful. He was constantly in awe of that. ''I am sure the Princes would love that ma'am, what a lovely way to end their stay at the palace''

Victoria nodded in agreement ''And after they leave I wish to go to Windsor for a few days, to avoid my mother and Uncle Leopold. I have no reason to stay at the palace after they have left. I would like you to attend with me'' Victoria looked across at him.

He continued to look straight ahead, the heavy fog concealed their view much further than a few feet. The large woodlands either side looked spooky in the dim light.

''I do not think that is such a good idea ma'am, it will only raise suspicions''

''Nonsense, I am making a public appearance the day after the princes have left I believe''  
He nodded as he remembered their arrangement ''Right so I can tell the people then. If I tell them my side, then whatever the papers say about it can be contradicted''

''You are smarter than you think'' He pointed out to her and returned her warm smile she gave him.

''Perhaps one day I shall be as smart as you''

He inwardly scoffed. _Don't fall in love with somebody out of your reach then._ He thought to himself sadly.

=======================================================================================================

Victoria laid in bed that night, thinking over the events of the day, it seemed to of gone so quickly, yet every detail she had remembered explained so much more.

The mood between her and Lord Melbourne was awkward, and for the entirety of the time they spent in each other's company she couldn't help feeling the conversation was forced and almost unwanted, as if they both just wanted to sit in silence within each other's company, mulling over the bad decisions they had made during their short-lived relationship.

She still loved him, whole heartedly, no amount of time away or trying to go back to the way things where would change that, she felt worse than ever, as if the distance they had put between them made her love him even more.  
 _Forbidden fruit_ She thought to herself.

=======================================================================================================

Lord Melbourne wrapped his robe across his body, feeling the soft, comforting lining of silk envelope him. He walked over to his chair, the one which he had hardly left when he was at home.  
No amount of work at the house, or the tender attention required to the glass Houses at Brocket Hall could take his mind off her.

He had lost loved ones before, that had been unbelievably hard. But this was even harder, mainly because he knew she was still there, and that she still wanted him. He loved her, so much it hurt him, and leaving her was by far the hardest thing he had had to endure of late. But seeing her today, having to deal with the forced conversation, hearing of her plans and what was troubling her, it seemed to break him, as if it destroyed every ounce of self-preservation he had left in him. It just made him want her even more.

He looked at the half empty bottle sitting on the stand, the one he had had for weeks on end and hardly touched, the strong taste of brandy still lingered in his mouth. It was a different sort, and it dragged him into an alcohol infused trance much quicker than his normal drink did.

It was how he had spent most of the week. He wanted to retire from government and sit and wallow in self-pity, like any man probably would. But he knew if he did that she would never forgive him. For at her age, some contact was better than none.

Grabbing the bottle, he poured out another generous glass and began to sip at the warm liquid, feeling it sweep through his veins to dull his senses once more.

========================================================================================================

The daylight stung his eyes like salt in an open wound as the hand on his shoulder woke him. His head throbbed in pain as he squinted in the bright mornings sunshine.

He wanted to speak, but couldn't. His eyes looked up to the servant for a split second before realising that it was to painful to hold such a glance.

''You have a visitor sir'' The servant replied quietly.

Lord Melbourne appreciated his lowered tone as he tried to soothe his pounding head with his hands.

''I am indisposed'' He replied quietly. His voice dry and raw ''And desperately in need of coffee''

''I am afraid they won't take that for an answer sir'' The servant replied knowingly.

Lord Melbourne sighed. ''Fine'' He replied stubbornly ''Send them in''

He sat up slightly in his chair, but made no effort to get up or tidy himself.

The heels clicked into the room, and much to his suspicion Emma seated herself opposite her friend.  
''I feel you would be a great asset to the house, your stubbornness would go an awful long way'' He looked down at his hands, his voice dry and hoarse

''Every woman is stubborn William'' Emma replied ''Enjoy it?'' She looked over at the empty bottle.

He glanced over it before looking more closely, did he really drink that much? He closed his eyes and sighed. ''Evidently'' he said rubbing his temples.

''How are you feeling?'' Emma asked her friend with a tone of compassion.

''Like I have been hit by a…'' He couldn't even find the words to explain

''Hmm'' Emma replied ''Is it working?''

''Not in the slightest, but, what else do I have to try''

''She is miserable William. Me and Harriett were walking past her chambers last night after she had retired, and she was crying. Nobody can do anything for her'' She is absolutely devastated and so confused''

''I cannot do anything about it'' He expressed with an almost pained expression. ''When I met her that night she told me how fearful she was of the uncertainty of how this would play out, she felt as though she had let everybody down as well as the crown, I put her in that position. I had to do the right thing and step back. She is young, her heart will be stolen by somebody else soon enough''

''I think you underestimate her, she knows what she wants, nobody is going to change that''

''The princes leave in a few days' time, after the dance, perhaps she can resume her normal duties after that, although she asked me if I would attend Windsor with her''

Emma looked at him knowingly ''Do you believe that is a good idea''  
''I never said I was going with her, although she didn't give it much room for persuasion'' He smiled slightly as he recalled the conversation.

''Whoever did this did it out of spite, and I don't think it was to get at the Queen, so be careful'' Emma warned.

''What do you mean?''

''We where discussing it the other day, especially me and Harriett given we have that… insight. We believe somebody did this to get at you, perhaps in a bid to push you away from the situation''

''But why would they do that?'' He replied confused ''Nobody can force Victoria to marry, so surely it is not a big enough incentive''

''Her family could do an arranged marriage if they feel Albert is the only one really suited to her, especially if there are no other Princes willing to attend the palace anytime soon''

''That's absurd'' he scoffed at her words.

''No, it's a possibility, see it as you wish, but you're not going to find your answers there'' She pointed at the empty bottle as the servant brought in a cup of coffee.

Emma stood from her seat. ''Oh, and perhaps try to attend the house at some point, people think you are hiding''

He visibly winced at her raised voice as her clicking heels left the room, covering his sensitive ears in silence once more.

========================================================================================================

Victoria walked towards her carriage which was waiting outside. The chilled winters air took a bite at her face as she left the warmth of the palace. Just as she had discussed, Lord Melbourne stood waiting at the door of the carriage. Victoria had already arranged a public speaking after the princes' have left but her desire to get away from the palace for just a short time was proving to hard to ignore. He smiled and bowed as she reached him.

''Your carriage awaits'' He joked, and she smiled as she stepped in.

''Is everything set for the dance tonight?'' He asked as the carriage set off

''I think so, it is only a small gathering really. I did not want to make to much of a deal about it, although I am looking forward to it'' She looked over to him. ''You are coming?'' She asked.

''I wouldn't miss it for the world ma'am'' He said cheerfully, ignoring the lingering headache he had from last night's brandy.

Victoria spent most of the journey looking out of the window, taking in the sights and smells of London. ''I have missed this, terribly'' She said as she pulled her face from the window.

''Yes, London has many benefits, although I do enjoy getting away from it every now and then'' He smiled at her.

''No, I mean this'' Victoria gestured around her ''Being out, alone with you. Just like we used to. I feel we have been making to much of an effort at meaningless chatter'' She admitted kindly to him.

He laughed ''Yes, I believe your right ma'am, I am glad you noticed''

''It never used to be like that'' Victoria replied sadly ''I miss what we had. What we shared'' She took hold of his hand in her own. Turning her head away from him she shut her eyes and tried to conceal the tears. She felt him trace her hand with his own, rubbing his fingers across hers almost mechanically. But she felt the emotion within it.

Perhaps they could find a comforting middle. One where they danced across that line, the one they could no longer cross, in a bid to satisfy their love for each other. Victoria held out the hope, as she had nothing else.

 _ **I hate writing painful chapters! Poor Lord M! Thanks for reading. Please leave any thoughts below.**_


	15. Dances

**Dances**

 _ **What is it about dances hey? Spoken from someone with two left feet!**_

Victoria looked over the breakfast table as the group of women sat quietly eating. Her mother keeping her head down as she picked over the fruit on her plate.  
''Are you quite alright mama?'' Victoria asked in a genuine tone

The Duchess looked up at her daughter and Victoria could see the woman looked worn and tired. ''Yes Drina, I am quite well'' She offered a small smile across the table ''Are you looking forward to the dance tonight?''

Victoria knew what she was trying to do, but couldn't bring herself to question her mother who had been out of character over the last few days. This concerned Victoria. ''Yes, it will be a nice way to see the Princes off'' She remarked.  
========================================================================================================

''I am so glad I have your guidance on this'' Victoria looked across the table, the papers laid in a chaotic layout across the large oak table. The war documents confused her immensely. She had since becoming Queen always trusted Lord Melbourne's guidance on such matters and followed his advice to the point. It had yet to fail her.

''It takes a great deal of time to fully understand these matters ma'am, I often find it difficult myself'' He confessed, although he found the task much harder today as his head throbbed from last night's indulgence in his drink.

''You have been out of character of late, are you unwell?'' Victoria watched him rub his temples as he tried to focus on the documents.

He looked up at her and immediately saw her concerned expression ''I am perfectly well ma'am, the house can be testing at times, lack of sleep that is all'' He felt terrible for lying to her, but telling her that he has spent most of his evenings drowning his sorrows in a strong brandy in order to dull his overactive mind and broken heart would not do her any favours.

''Perhaps you should take some time away from parliament. Rest your mind a little'' Victoria offered. ''I believe Windsor would do your health some good'' Victoria remarked.

Lord Melbourne hummed in agreement, choosing not to look up at her. _But the temptation would prove too much._ He thought to himself sadly.

=======================================================================================================

Victoria walked through the halls with Lord Melbourne shortly after finishing their boxes, their relationship was somewhat cold when they had eyes on them. It never used to be. Their friendship was strong and comfortable around the palace and what went on behind closed doors stayed there. However now, both Victoria and Lord Melbourne knew that they where constantly being watched and almost assessed, so their friendship had been pushed apart.

They walked into the ball room. Victoria's eyes scanned the huge area as the staff worked tirelessly to prepare the room for this evenings get together.  
''You will dance with me tonight?'' Victoria turned and asked, her eyes sparkling in the sunlight that poured through the large windows.

He hesitated ''As much as I would like you ma'am, I doubt it would be looked fondly upon, the dance is for the Princes, they deserve your full attention'' He spoke regretfully

Her face fell, and the sparkle diminished from her eyes ''I see'' She said plainly ''Well I hope you enjoy your time tonight, im sure many people will appreciate your company'' Victoria offered him a small smile before walking further into the ball room and engaging with her staff.

Lord Melbourne stood quietly for a moment watching her. She busied herself as she avoided his gaze. His own words where sharp to her, they cut her down every time he had to refuse her offer. It was what got them into this mess in the first place, the fact he could not say no. Saying no however was pushing his strength to the limit.

========================================================================================================

As darkness fell Victoria retired to her chambers to be prepared for the dance, she wanted to make an effort in her appearance tonight. She was going to enjoy seeing the Princes off in the morning, putting this awful time behind her and seeing her Uncle Leopold defeated in his aim. But most of all, she wanted things at the palace to be normal again, where conversation flowed effortlessly, and everybody accepted friendships without judgement. A dance was the only time this happened.

But most of all, she wanted Lord Melbourne to notice her, to see her as the woman she was and not the Queen he was treating her as now. She still loved him, and forgetting everything that happened was damned right impossible. So tonight, she would make him remember the good times they shared and why they put both their reputations at risk.  
 _  
Love is blind_ Victoria thought to herself.

========================================================================================================

Lord Melbourne stood looking at himself in the mirror. His suit crisp and clean. He had made an effort. For what reason he was slightly unsure, but he had done so all the same.

He had not seen the King much since the papers. It had surprised him as he half expected to be told to keep away from the palace, or that he was damaging Victoria's reputation further by following her wishes. But it was the Duchess that had kept his attention the most. Victoria had spoken nearly every day of her odd behaviour. She had passed Lord Melbourne in the halls but refused to look at him, hurrying out of sight or turning and walking the other way.

He knew that the Duchess had tried to warn Victoria off him when she first came into power, so why she was keeping so quiet to the pair of them now there was a reason to speak badly of him was definitely suspicious.

He also knew he would see them both tonight and that worried him. He did not wish to cause a scene or be the centre of attention.  
Yet he did not want to let Victoria down. Never before had his heart been so far away from his head.

=======================================================================================================

The evening brought the guests, it was a small gathering but many of Victoria's friends and family had been invited. The hallways became crowded with voices and laughter as people began interacting with each other.

The servants began offering refreshments as everybody made their way into the ball room.

Victoria could hear the music begin to play in the ball room as her dresser made a few last-minute touches to her hair.

Victoria looked at herself in the mirror, she had chosen a deep purple dress with a floral hem round the waist and the bottom of her dress. It hugged her tight figure against the confines of her corset which pushed her breasts to show above the top of the lowered dress line. The sleeves held only by a thin strap of fabric attached to her arms.

A bright red ruby and diamond necklace covered the bare patch on her chest. It shimmered and sparkled in the light and stood out against the deep colour of her gown.

But something was missing, she had asked for a diamond chain with a ribbon to be put in with her braids, offering a little colour to her hair, two stray strands which hung either side of her face had been curled lightly, allowing them to outline the shape of her cheeks and chin.

''Is everything to your liking ma'am?'' Mrs Skerrett asked politely as she stepped back out of the view of the mirror.

Victoria continued to stare at her reflection ''I feel as though something is missing'' She turned to look at the dresser. ''Do you have any suggestions?''

The young woman looked over the Queen carefully but could not see anything that warranted a change ''I think you look beautiful ma'am''

Victoria frowned ''Yes but there is something missing, I cannot put my finger on it'' She turned and looked back at herself in the mirror turning to the side and looking at her hair.

The dresser remained quiet as Victoria assessed her appearance. A knock at the door gathered their attention.

''From Lord Melbourne Your Majesty'' Lord Alfred held out the silver platter, which held a small wooden box.

Victoria walked over to the young man and took the box off the tray, walking back over to the table she slowly opened it and pulled away the delicate paper that was concealing its contents.

She gasped as the colour of a range of flowers hit her eyes, orchids, roses and peonies laid in a collective fashion in the box. Victoria smiled and placed one rose to her nose inhaling the fresh smell it adorned.  
''This'' Victoria turned and smiled ''This is what is missing''

The dresser smiled warmly at the Queen who turned and looked at herself in the mirror once more, holding the delicate rose in her hand.

========================================================================================================

The crowds drew silent as Victoria walked into the room. Her dress flowed behind her as she made her way into the centre. All eyes fell on her as she stopped and met the two princes.

''Albert, Ernest'' Victoria started. Ernest dropped to one knee and kissed her offered hand. But Albert, did not. This annoyed Victoria. ''I do hope you enjoy this dance we have arranged for you, I hope it will be a reminder of your time at the palace for weeks to come'' She smiled at them both warmly as they backed away.

The music started.  
The couples danced to the first song, the ball room teemed with life and Victoria found what she was looking for. Friendship, joy and normality, or as close as she would get to it. Nobody mentioned the papers, and nobody gave the impression they where thinking about the papers.

''I am so thankful for the effort you have put into this dance for your cousins Victoria'' Her Uncle Leopold spoke up through the music from beside her. Victoria sipped at her champagne.

''Well after all, I might not see them for a long while, they deserve a royal send-off'' Victoria said confidently as she looked across the room, both princes where dancing.

''I wouldn't be so sure about that'' Uncle Leopold said quietly beside her. Victoria turned to face him.

''What do you mean?'' Victoria questioned him, a strike of anxiety coursing through her, she saw his smug like expression as he raised his eyebrows and slipped off into the crowd.

Victoria stood there for a moment trying to assess what he had just said to her. The Princes where leaving, why should she see them again? She hoped her Uncle would leave soon to, she would not write to him as much, their relationship had cooled greatly since he had been at the palace, his forceful actions had pushed her away from him.

Her mother would know, surely. They spend all their time in each other's pockets. Victoria made a note to ask her before realising she had not seen her mother this evening. She began scanning the room.

''Is everything alright Your Majesty?'' Emma asked from beside her. Victoria had not even noticed her.

''Have you seen mama this evening, I can't seem to place her''

''Yes, she left a few moments ago, im sure she will be back soon'' Emma smiled towards Victoria.

=======================================================================================================

A good 20 minutes passed, and Victoria had still not seen her mother, something was not right. Leaving the room Victoria walked down a quiet corridor, leading towards the direction of her mother's wing. The ball room was still very close.

''I cannot do this. Drina does not deserve this'' Victoria stopped as she heard her mother's voice between the tears. She remained behind the corner, out of sight.

''You are not doing anything though'' Victoria's voice homed in on her Uncles, trying to soothe her distressed mother.

''She does not desire Albert, this is not fair. Its all too much now, this has to stop. I must protect her'' The Duchess continued to sob.

''This is for her own good. Victoria needs stability, and she will not get that by burying her head in the sand. The public know about Lord Melbourne now, we must put this right'' Her Uncles words seemed to soothe her mother who began to fall quiet.

Victoria could not stand to hear anymore, she turned and quietly made her way back into the ball room.

Anger surged through her as she continued to watch the dance slip by, accepting offers to dance with guests, drinking more than her fair share in champagne until her head began to focus more on the sweet taste of the drink rather than what she had heard her Uncle say.

She wanted to be mad at her mother, but had never heard or seen her so distressed, she knew she was against it, but was not doing anything to stop her Uncle from doing whatever he intended to do. Victoria was like a sitting target unable to do or say anything, she didn't exactly know what it was they had planned.

Her head spun yet again with mixed emotions, her eyes scanned the room for Lord Melbourne, falling on him happily talking to a couple of her ladies.

She made her way over to him.

His eyes fell on her walking through the crowd towards him. She smiled, but he saw through it.

''Lord M, I hope you are enjoying the dance?''

He smiled towards her formal posture hoping she would relax ''It is a lovely evening ma'am'' He looked at her appearance ''I see you got the flowers''

Victoria visibly softened as she realised she had forgotten all about them ''Yes'' She exclaimed smiling as she touched her hand to her head, the fresh flowers carefully placed within her hair whilst a single red rose was attached to her wrist. ''They are beautiful, thankyou so much'' She offered her hand to his, squeezing it slightly. ''I need to talk with you, in private'' She spoke quietly.

He hesitated ''I regretfully think it would be unwise to engage in a private conversation at the princes' dance''

Victoria's face fell ''It is not up for discussion'' She walked off, knowing he would follow her. 

Victoria's walk increased in pace as she headed away from the ball room, she tried to find a quiet area where they would not be disturbed.

Finally she opened the door into a quieter room, turning around she saw the older man hover at the doorway, keeping in the corridor. She looked at him for a moment, he looked unsure and ridged.  
''Come on'' Victoria said sternly ''Its important!''

Her urgency gave him little room to argue and he quickly walked into the quiet room turning to face her as she shut the door.  
As Victoria turned back around he saw her whole demeanour change, her determined and strong figure he followed was now an anxious young woman.

''What is troubling you ma'am?'' He asked cautiously.

Victoria stayed silent for a moment, contemplating her words and how to include everything she had to say to him ''I overheard my mama and Uncle Leopold talking earlier, I fear they are planning something against my wishes'' Victoria bit her lip as she played with the rose on her wrist.

He tried to ignore that. ''What makes you say that?'' He queried

''I went off to find mama as Emma told me she left the Ball Room and I had not seen her this evening, you know she has been acting out of character'' Victoria paused as she saw him nod. ''Well, I heard her talking to Uncle Leopold before they saw me''

His stomach began to churn as he realised where this was headed, but stayed silent as Victoria continued ''She was crying, terribly. Saying how it had gone to far and she wanted me to be happy and to protect me. Uncle was convincing her that what would happen would be for my own good and that I am not happy in the position I am in now''

''Do you know what they are planning?'' Lord Melbourne walked over to a small table and leant on it.

''No'' Victoria replied ''I couldn't stay and listen'' She took a ragged breath as she tried to control her nerves ''What are they planning Lord M? Can they do anything without my permission?''

He saw her trying to seek comfort in him. ''Not as far as im aware ma'am, but your age does put you at a disposition''

Victoria sighed as she began to pace. ''I cannot believe mama has betrayed my trust in such a way'' Her tone changed as anger surged through her ''I should dismiss her''

Lord Melbourne walked towards her, she stopped her pacing and looked up at him. ''Try not to do anything yet, your mother obviously has doubts about this and it would explain her abnormal behaviour. I would wait until the princes leave tomorrow and then address the problem with the pair of them''

Victoria visibly softened ''Yes, your right'' She paused ''Your always so rational, im not sure what I would do without your guidance''

He smiled down at her. ''Perhaps we should get back to the dance'' He said carefully as he saw her visibly stiffen again.

She smiled awkwardly and nodded, turning and opening the door she made her way back into the quiet hall way and towards the ball room.

Her mother was there once they entered the ball room, her and Victoria's Uncle watched the pair walked back in together. Lord Melbourne saw the couple talk quietly to each other, but the Duchess looked very uneased by whatever he was saying.

The evening continued to slip by. Victoria drank and danced and drank even more. Her judgement was beginning to falter as she began to say what came into her mind. She was thankful for the champagne, it was dulling her worries and thoughts as she felt herself relax. Perhaps a little too much, but it was her dance after all.

''You haven't taken your eyes off her since you came back in here'' Emma's voice rang in Lord Melbourne's ears, causing him to look towards her.

''How entirely selfish of me'' He said plainly before sipping at his drink.

''She told me about her mother, what do you think is going on'' Emma asked, capturing his attention.

''I don't know'' Lord Melbourne said slowly whilst looking over at the pair. ''But it doesn't sit right, I fear her uncle is holding a grudge against Victoria''

''Because of Albert?'' Emma asked

Lord Melbourne nodded.

=======================================================================================================

It was getting late now. Victoria continued to drink, and with every glass she found herself looking for him even more. Their eyes met on a number of occasions, for one entire dance Victoria found herself watching him more than her partner. She began to falter when walking around, her words slurred as the champagne took a hold of her senses.

''Your going to have to do something'' Emma prompted Lord Melbourne once more

He scoffed ''What can I possibly do without attracting attention''

''Well you have to try!'' Emma said firmly ''Nobody else can drag her away from the champagne, she isn't doing herself any favours.

''Looks like Albert is about to'' Lord Melbourne couldn't tear his eyes away from the young prince as he walked towards Victoria.

''May I?'' Victoria kept hold of her champagne glass despite the servant offering to take it from her.

Victoria smiled before letting out a little laugh ''I see'' She started ''Did he put you up to this?''

Albert looked confused for a moment before realising what she was suggesting ''What, no, Victoria, I was merely asking for a dance'' He spoke sternly to her.

''Or perhaps it was mama'' She spoke louder this time, ensuring her mother heard her words. Victoria heard the crowd around her fall silent as they began to listen.

''You are very childish Victoria'' Albert warned ''Why must you attract such attention to yourself'' He snapped

Victoria laughed much louder this time. ''Well the papers have already had such an insight into my private life why not give everybody else a chance to see it to. After all that's all your thinking about isn't it?'' Victoria gestured to the entire room.

Emma pushed against Lord Melbourne ''Sort it. Now.'' She whispered.

''Drina'' The Duchess hurried over with a concerned voice ''Whatever is the matter''

Victoria smiled again, giving her mother a look that made the Duchess immediately back down. ''Perhaps you should ask Uncle Leopold that''

The Duchess's face fell instantly, and she chose not to retaliate. Victoria found her Uncle standing quietly beside Ernest ''Come on Uncle. Why don't you enlighten me'' Victoria felt the room spin, a mixture of hurt, anger and champagne flooded over her body, making her feet feel like lead.

The silence in the room was heavy. Nobody dared question her. She tried to remain calm but the eyes around her suddenly became overwhelming as she realised what she had done.

The sound of footsteps through the quiet room caused her to look to her left. Her eyes found his as she turned to face him, her glass at her lips ready to take another sip.  
He reached her, and ignored every pair of eyes that laid on the two of them. Holding out his hand he said not one word. But then he knew he didn't have to.

Victoria placed her drink down on the silver tray and as his hand slipped around her back. The music began to ring in her ears, she was sure it had stopped playing, but she found she couldn't quite remember.

Victoria looked nowhere else but at him as they began to dance. She didn't speak, to Lord Melbourne's relief, and as other people began to dance the attention was soon diverted enough for him to talk.  
''I believe you are tired ma'am'' He spoke quietly to her.

''I am many things, but tired is not one of them'' She was trying to be witty, but the champagne was making it hard to do that.

''Either way, perhaps you should retire, we can discuss the events of the evening tomorrow if you are up to it'' He remained calm with her, aware she may well snap at him given the circumstances.

Victoria could not ignore the fact that her body felt heavy and her head full.

The dance finished all to soon. And Lord Melbourne felt reluctant to release her from his arms. As she stepped away she stumbled. The room began to spin as she tried to steady herself.  
Victoria reached out for his arms gripping to them as she regathered herself.

''Come on'' He said softly to her. Victoria gratefully took his arm and allowed him to lead her towards her chambers.

''I couldn't have danced very well'' Victoria admitted as they reached her chambers. The cool air of the corridor had cleared her head slightly, the music drowned out along with the noise of the guests.

''You did very well considering'' He smiled at her as he slowly released her arm.

Victoria looked into his eyes for a moment, searching for the answer to the question that she had been asking herself daily. ''Do you still love me?'' She blurted the words out before she had a chance to stop herself. Damned the champagne

The question caught him off guard. He was unsure on how to proceed. ''I do not think it's a suitable topic to discuss ma'am'' He replied awkwardly

''So that's a no'' She looked down her dress

''I never said that''  
It would have been easier to of lied and agreed, but he found it impossible to do that.

Victoria looked back up at him. Holding her nerve for just a moment she stepped into his frame, reaching onto her tip toes she kissed him delicately. The briefest of kisses. He remained still whilst he tried to keep hold of his self-control.

He vaguely heard the door click shut to her chambers and released a breath he didn't realise he was holding.

 _ **Now, I have a terrible patience for such things, if I read a book I want to skip chapters to get to the 'good bit' So im trying very hard to slowly ease the plot in with our couple, probably not doing the story any favours! What do you think is going on? Leave a comment below..**_


	16. Riding Out

_**Riding Out**_

Victoria's eyes stung as she opened them to the bright light coming through her window. Within seconds the hard throbbing in her head became a harsh reminder of what she had done last night.

Everything was dim and dull inside her head, it was like wading around in a thick swamp of thoughts and feelings.

Lehzen must had of awoken her, as she became aware of her surroundings she saw the older woman standing quietly beside the foot of her bed.  
''How are you feeling Your Majesty?'' Lehzen's voice was quiet and sympathetic but she may as well have shouted right in Victoria's ear.

She visibly flinched at the noise, hitting her sensitive ears and rattling her already sore head. She wanted to speak, but found her mouth dry and her throat rasped.

Victoria groaned as she tried to sit up, feeling the room spin as she leant back on the head board of her bed. ''Tea, please'' She whispered just loud enough for her baroness to hear. The woman quickly made her way out of the room.

========================================================================================================

It was late by the time Victoria had been able to stomach getting out of bed, she had refused breakfast. The nausea hitting her stomach made the thought of food unbearable, despite her ladies insisting she would feel better for eating something.

No, the tea had been just about bearable, the sugary hot drink had soothed her sore throat and offered her stomach something much kinder to help get over the effects of the champagne.

Victoria had not yet left her chambers, she had never felt so poorly.  
''I am never drinking again'' She groaned as her dresser tried to tighten the corset further ''No'' Victoria said quickly ''I fear you may squeeze my insides out if you do it up much tighter.

The dresser laughed quietly before remembering her place ''I am sorry ma'am, you usually have it up tighter than this'' Mrs Skerrett prompted.

''Not today'' Victoria said ''I feel I have a right to wallow in my own pain today''

The dresser looked uneased for a moment before Victoria turned and smiled to her, insinuating that she was only joking, although it didn't much feel like it to her.

''Does it get any easier?'' Victoria asked ''Drinking that is''

''It is best not to over indulge in drink ma'am, especially if one is as busy as you are, the after affects outweigh the benefits of being drunk'' The dresser replied.

Victoria looked at her pale reflection in the mirror.

Lord Melbourne sat patiently waiting in the corridor as the Baroness had gone to tell Victoria that he was there. It was a strange thing to do, usually he could just go straight in, she often saw him at around this time every day.

He had left the dance last night after Victoria had retired, he had no desire to stay without her company. His mind raced the entire way home. He had done no good by ending their relationship, it had only deepened his desire for her further. He was drawn to her, whenever he got the chance.

All the years of experience in life he had behind him, and yet this remarkable young woman turns up and chucks everything he has learnt right out the window. What a fool he had been.

The sound of footsteps caught his attention, much to his disgust Victoria's Uncle Leopold walked down towards him. Lord Melbourne stood and waited for him to approach.

''Good Morning sir'' Melbourne spoke politely

''Lord Melbourne, I noticed you did not return to the dance last night after accompanying my niece to her chambers'' He spoke coldly towards Lord Melbourne.

The tension in the air was evident ''I retired after ensuring the Queen got back to her chambers ok, she had consumed far too much champagne and found herself very unsteady on her feet'' Melbourne replied politely

''Do you think it was wise, doing that after all that has happened? You have always said to admire the Queen, yet you are happy to ruin her reputation by following her every wish'' Leopold almost spat the words out, as though they tasted sour in his mouth.

''I think very highly of Her Majesty and would have felt very guilty had she of fallen and hurt herself trying to retire alone''

''You did not return to the dance though Lord Melbourne, the guests were talking'' The King lowered his voice a touch. Lord Melbourne could tell what he was doing.

''Yet nobody came to check on the Queen, apart from her ladies, your concern for her must not have been that serious, surely you could have come and made sure she was well? Rather than listening to what her guests have to say'' Lord Melbourne replied, he was not trying to be smart or rude, the politician in him gave him an advantage over the King which seemed to intimidate him.

''I was picking up the mess she had made with her childish outbursts''

''Oh, I wouldn't call them childish sir, she was merely speaking the truth behind her mind. I fear champagne consumption held some benefit for her'' Lord Melbourne paused ''The princes are leaving today are they not?''

'''Yes'' The King replied ''But I have some unfinished business here, so I will be staying a little longer''

''Must be very important sir, you have been here longer than the princes'' Melbourne stated.

Leopold smiled, his smile laced with lies, before walking off.  
Lord Melbourne knew that man was behind something.

========================================================================================================

Victoria clenched her eyes shut as the door shut, her head still sore, although not as bad as it was this morning. She looked up slowly to see Lord Melbourne come walking into the room, he dropped down on one knee and kissed her hand before rising and smiling. ''How are you feeling ma'am?''

''Awful'' Victoria felt no need to lie ''I cannot remember half of what I did or said last night, but im guessing it was a fair amount given my pounding head'' She rubbed her temples making no effort to stand.

He wanted to be relieved that she had forgotten what she had told him, what she had done, yet something else struck him, a wash of regret. One he knew he couldn't question without giving his feelings away. ''You where not in a good state when I left last night'' He replied quietly much to Victoria's relief.

She remained silent for a moment as her brain tried to comprehend what he was saying. It was as if everything inside her slowed down as she remembered what happened. She looked up at him, searching his expression before standing. Squinting her eyes as her mind raced back to that moment ''Did we?'' She paused trying to put her words in the right order ''Did I? Oh…dear'' Her hand came up and rubbed her tender forehead before sliding down over her eyes, splaying her fingers she looked between them at his expression ''What did we do?''

Now he wished he hadn't brought it up ''Nothing ma'am'' But he did not hide the regret in his voice. ''You asked me a question, and I don't think you received the desired answer'' He replied calmly.

Victoria sighed  
''Yes. I remember, but didn't I… kiss you? Im sure I did''

His mind raced then, he wanted to say yes, he wanted to explain what happened in full detail, but equally it would be much easier to say no and allow her confused mind to find its own answers. The pause was much longer than he had wanted ''Yes ma'am, im afraid you did''

She looked down at her hands. ''You did not want me to'' She nodded her head to the silence.

''I was fearful I may do something I would regret ma'am, I find my self-control to be rather lacking at times'' He could not lie to her, or to himself for that matter.

''I see'' She allowed a small smile to emerge ''You still care for me then''

''Of course'' He ignored the happiness he felt as he saw her smile.

''Perhaps I will remember more as the day goes on'' She seated herself and opened her boxes, watching him do the same.

======================================================================================================

Victoria walked down the corridor in her riding outfit. The day was drawing on as the light began to fade outside the windows. Her head was better, she felt more up to speed within herself. Riding out in the fresh air seemed very appealing, despite being tired she knew the fresh air would clear her head.  
''It feels so good to be more myself again'' Victoria didn't look at him, but saw him smile from the corner of his eye.

''Perhaps you will think twice about drinking so much in the future ma'am'' Lord Melbourne replied stiffly.

He was not his usual self when they were outside a private area, he had slowly begun to settle into his usual relaxed self when they were not around others, but as soon as they stepped out into the open of the palace that all changed.

''You don't have to say that'' She remarked ''I am never drinking that much again, the pain outweighs the courage you get when your drunk''

He corrected himself then, he was about to agree, but found he couldn't for he had spent nearly every evening with a glass in his hand, so much so that he had gotten used to the full, thick head he awoke with every morning. The brandy dulled his senses and allowed him to think of the events without getting carried away in a torrent of emotions.

He felt as though his entire world had been torn apart, yet he lived in the two on separate occasions.  
''We all need a little courage sometimes ma'am'' He admitted quietly as the couple stopped near the doorway to the palace.

The carriages were being loaded, most of the cases already tied to the back, the princes stood waiting in their uniforms, patiently outside. Victoria left Lord Melbourne on the steps as she walked down and said her goodbyes to Ernest and then to Albert.

''Be careful Victoria'' Albert warned as Ernest stepped into the carriage.

''Whatever for Albert'' Victoria could not hide her enjoyment on the fact the Prince was finally leaving her home.

''Your subjects may not be as trusting as you first perceive''

She felt he was just trying to out smart her again, she didn't trust his words. ''Goodbye Albert'' She replied stiffly before walking up the steps back to her friend.

=======================================================================================================

''Did the Prince offend you ma'am?'' Lord Melbourne enquired cautiously. Victoria had not spoken much since the two had left.

She turned to look at him ''Not exactly… He just warned me to be careful, which the more I think about it the less sense it makes. He has always tried to undermine me, yet I didn't feel that earlier. It felt like a genuine warning'' He could hear the uncertainty in his voice.  
''The prince may be educated in some areas ma'am, but not all of them'' Lord Melbourne gathered his reins as he slowed his horse to match the same pace Victoria was riding at.

''Yes, but why would he warn me of anything? He has done nothing but despise me the entire visit''

''It is most likely just spite talking ma'am, he obviously left the palace empty handed. It couldn't have been easy for him''

Victoria smiled as she heard the happiness float through his voice, his expression remained the same but she had learnt to read different signals he gave off when it came to reading his emotions. She felt her stomach flutter as she realised he was happy she did not ask Albert to marry her. ''I would never have proposed to him, and it is not out of childish behaviour'' She had pretty much corrected him before he had a chance to speak ''I chose very carefully the first time, and regardless of what has or will happen I cannot change the way I feel, or regret it for that matter''

He remembered her when he first met her, she had so much ambition and determination within her, no matter what people put her down she always rose above it. With age came experience, and although she had changed a good deal he still saw that same woman, her motives had not changed with the pressures she faced, which he had half expected them to given how young she was and the responsibility she had thrust upon her.

He hoped that he would release the burden a little bit with his guidance, but he was not sure. ''Have you spoken to your Uncle today?''

Victoria shook her head ''Truthfully, I have been trying to avoid him, I have not felt like arguing with them today, I know he will be disappointed that Albert left without a marriage proposal''

 _Understatement_ Melbourne thought to himself ''Have you found anymore out about the papers ma'am? Or your mother?''

''I haven't, I was hoping to look into it more now that the princes have left the palace, its one less thing to worry about'' Victoria replied cheerfully.

It warmed his heart to see her happier, yet the niggling doubt in the back of his head worried him, her uncle was up to something, and something told him the princes leaving would not change that.

The couple rode in harmony for a good distance. Victoria never ventured to far away from the palace, something usually dragged her back. Yet with the princes gone and the boxes done she wanted to make up for the spare time, before her public appearances took that up again.

They went further into the woodlands, as the daylight began to fade the setting sun slipped behind the heavy clouds that began to draw in around them, the air was chilled as the wind began to rise. Rain was on the way.

Their horses, despite the bursts of exercise they had shared began to grow restless. Victoria tried to steady her horse which began to jog alongside up Lord Melbourne's.  
''Horses are remarkable creatures'' Victoria started as she steadied her mount ''They can tell when rain is coming''

Lord Melbourne looked up at the dark clouds ''I fear we are going to get wet ma'am, we will never make it back to the palace in time''

''Its not a problem, there is an old building of sorts just down this track. I stumbled across it months ago, we can shelter in there whilst it passes.

The pair trotted down the wet track which was rough and unused. The privacy of the situation became rather inviting as they reached the building Victoria was talking about.

It was an old brick cart shed, one that must have held carriages back in its day. Lord Melbourne could see some old stables that had half fallen down a short distance away from the building, the place was long forgotten.

The rain began to spit as Victoria pulled her horse up at the entrance. Slipping down from the saddle her feet hit the wet soggy track as they sunk slightly in the fallen leaves from seasons past. Lord Melbourne dismounted and lead his horse into the large shed.

The rain poured, so heavy that the tree's became blurred. The water cascaded over the edge of the building, creating a stream of rain water. Victoria sat on an old crate whilst the Priminister leant against the wall. She looked over to the two horses, standing quietly in the shelter with their heads against the wall, half dozing in each other's company.

The situation was far from ideal, the cold air was beginning to nip at her skin the longer they waited, yet the tranquillity of the situation appealed to her better nature.

Victoria let out a little laugh as she looked out into the rain once more. ''You know, I always find that the situations you don't plan for always end up being the best ones''

He walked towards her, seating himself beside her on the crate. ''I feel the same ma'am, this place could become a little hideaway''

''From the rest of the world'' Victoria almost whispered ''How very magical''

He nodded in agreement, the silence was welcomed and comfortable between them, but Victoria couldn't help but want to take advantage of the situation further.

''Would you mind refreshing my memory, about last night?'' She tried to make it sound casual, but inwardly flinched as she realised how forceful it had sounded.

She watched him rub his hands together, he did not look at her, but kept his eyes down for a moment.

Victoria hated that, the silence before he spoke, as if some words required a great strength to be said.

''You began to talk your mind ma'am. The alcohol was getting to you. Albert asked to dance with you and you refused him, then you began shouting at your relatives, your mother especially. Nothing untoward was said, and I believe your guests knew it was the champagne talking''

Victoria sighed, she had remembered very little about that, but her ladies had filled her in on some details. He continued

''Emma prompted that I should ask you to dance, to divert your attention away from Albert, despite my reservations it seemed to work''

''Why did you dance with me if you did not wish to?''

''I did wish to'' He corrected her ''More than anything, but I knew it would be looked badly upon by your family, however I feel in the heat of the moment they were happy to see you distracted, they made no fuss''

He chose to keep what the King had spoken with him about today from her, he did not wish to burden her with his own doubts on the man.

''After we finished dancing you went to retire, but found yourself to be very unsteady so I assisted you to your chambers''

Her heart began to accelerate ''I am always unsteady after dancing with you'' He said honestly ''And then what happened''

''We… talked'' he replied plainly, knowing what she was trying to do.

''What about?'' Victoria prompted.

He turned to look at her, his expression had changed, it was as though he was inwardly telling her off. She rather enjoyed this side of him. ''You know what'' His voice was a little deeper than before.

Victoria nodded ''And then, I kissed you''

''You did''

''But you did not return my offer''

''It wasn't what I was expecting you to do ma'am, you shut yourself in your chambers before I had a chance to do anything''

''But you wanted to?'' Her voice lifted, as though a shiver of hope set in her heart.

He didn't answer, instead he continued to look outside as the rain began to ease.

''I know what I want'' Victoria said quietly to him.

He turned to look at her. ''As do I ma'am, but I must do what is right for the crown, for your reign as Queen, not my own personal gain'' His voice was laced with sadness as he looked into her eyes. ''You are forbidden fruit Victoria'' He said slowly before slipping his hand into hers and looking out at the rain.

 _ **Im sorry for the lack of updates, I go abroad a lot for my work so find it difficult to update consistently. Please leave a thought below, they brighten up my day!**_


	17. Flirting

**Flirting  
** _ **Sorry for the delay in updating. Enjoy!**_

''Mama'' Victoria's voice in the corridor stopped The Duchess in her tracks. She turned to face her daughter and Victoria could already see the dread on her face ''I wish to speak with you, in private''

Victoria seated herself in a quiet side room opposite her mother. They remained silent for a moment. ''What is it Drina, I have much to do today''

''I wish to know what is troubling you, and if it has anything to do with the rumours'' Victoria was blunt and sharp with her words, giving her mother no room to avoid the question.

''Of course, not Drina, why would you say such a thing?'' Her mother's horrified expression did not seem plausible to Victoria.

''I have hardly seen you since the papers, you have not given your opinion, you have not asked how I am feeling, and you look as though you have a great deal of guilt on your shoulders''

''Are you out of your mind Drina'' Her mother's tone changed ''You have brought a great shame on the palace, none of this is my doing, I warned you that Lord Melbourne is clever at stealing hearts, you did not listen, it is not my fault that this has all been exposed''

''The problem is mama nothing has happened, myself and Lord Melbourne are good friends, that is all''

The Duchess laughed ''Who are you fooling Drina, because nobody believes you. We all know how much you dote on your Priminister, if you had no feelings for him you would have married Albert''

''I did not ask Albert to marry because I did not love him. Like I did not love the other Princes or the Russian Duke! I am sorry mama, but I deal with enough grief being Queen, my duties have and always will come first, but I can assure you I refuse to marry somebody if it isn't for love. I am sure you would do the same'' Victoria snapped.

''Lord Melbourne has no place in the palace, Albert had a place here, yet you pushed him away''

''Lord Melbourne is my Priminister as well as my advisor, do not tell me who I can and cannot have in the palace, you do not care for my happiness, only for your personal gain''

The Duchess looked taken back by her daughter's words. ''I care deeply for you Drina, I only want what is best for you''

Victoria looked at her mother, a long pause made the silence in the room heavy. ''Who leaked the story to the papers'' She asked plainly.

''I do not know'' The Duchess lied.

Victoria's face set like stone ''I will find out, and I will marry who I wish, status or not''

The Duchess watched her daughter walk out of the room, as the door shut her mother released a sob, the tears falling from her eyes. ''It may be to late for that'' She whispered to herself as she tried to contain her tears.

=======================================================================================================

''My mother refuses to admit any part in the papers, or knowing who told them the story'' Victoria said from across the table. Lord Melbourne sat at the other end, he looked up, but Victoria remained with her head down, reading what the document had to offer.

''Perhaps she didn't ma'am, just because The Duchess is showing guilt it does not mean she is guilty''

''Surely it does'' Victoria's eyes met his.

He shook his head in disagreement ''Does she know about your public appearances?''

''Yes'' Victoria lied ''She has no say in them anyway''

Lord Melbourne hummed, but Victoria could tell he was not buying her excuse.

========================================================================================================

Lord Melbourne was walking down the corridor, his riding outfit had been brought to the palace for him to change so he could address the troops alongside Victoria. She was getting ready whilst he waited for her.

''Lord Melbourne'' The quiet voice of The Duchess turned him round, he saw her face covered with anxiety.

''Your Highness, how can I help you'' He replied politely

''Is my daughter seeing the troops this afternoon?'' She held her hands at her waist, her composure faltered in the silence.

''Yes, I am waiting for her now, is there a problem?'' He asked cautiously, her normal stone like expression was gone, she was clearly very unsettled.

''You cannot allow her to see the public Lord Melbourne, it is for her own safety'' The Duchess tried to control her breathing as her anxiety took over.

''Are you alright ma'am, you look very pale, would you like to sit down?'' His voice laced with concern. Him and the Duchess had their differences, but he saw past that as he observed her silent cry for help.

''Lord Melbourne, please, my daughter must not see the troops, or the public, not yet, it is to soon''

''I can assure maximum security to ensure your daughter's safety ma'am, but Her Majesty has to face the public at some point'' Lord Melbourne tried to reason with the Duchess ''If it is any consolation I have not heard any talk of the papers for days now, I do believe it has all died down''

''It is not the papers I am worried about'' The Duchess's voice was filled with worry.

He tried to remain calm, but her stance told him that whatever was troubling her was serious, it put him on edge as he realised Victoria's safety was at risk. ''Perhaps you should tell me what is going on''

It was not a question.

The Duchess hesitated... Truthfully it unsettled Lord Melbourne, he had always seen her with the same, emotionless expression, never showing anything else. He was seeing a different side to her, and he knew the reasoning behind it would be terrible.

''My brother is planning on setting up an arranged marriage for Victoria with Albert, he is planning on announcing it as a public speaking once Victoria makes an appearance''

''He cannot do that, Her Majesty has not been in power long enough to ensure that, just because she turned Albert down does not mean she will spend the rest of her life alone''

''I only want what is best for her'' The Duchess's became more distressed ''I have tried to talk my brother out of this, but I cannot, he is convinced it is for her own good''

Lord Melbourne remained silent for a moment. ''I cannot stop The Queen from seeing the troops today. But I can put off any public speaking until we have a plan in place. Her Majesty was planning on going to Windsor for a few days after the Princes left''

''Will you be going with her?'' The Duchess asked coldly.

Lord Melbourne looked awkward for a moment ''She did invite me, but I advised against it''

The Duchess paused ''I see… Lord Melbourne, I may not agree with the relationship that you two share, whatever it is, but I know you would see her come to no harm, please go with her to Windsor, but do not tell her of the arranged marriage, I have no idea how my brother is setting it up and until then it is not wise to worry her. Look out for her as best you can, I shall try to find out of his plans''

''I always thought the King had a good relationship with Victoria'' Lord Melbourne said cautiously.

''Obviously for the wrong reasons'' The Duchess replied, her voice weary ''Victoria thinks I told the story to the papers''

''It was the King'' Lord Melbourne replied plainly, the lack of surprise on his face warranted the Duchess not to reply. She merely nodded in agreement.

========================================================================================================

''That wasn't so bad was it'' Victoria said cheerfully as she walked up the corridor.

He tried to ignore her attractive figure in the riding outfit she was wearing. ''No ma'am, I feel the troops enjoyed your inspection today as did the crowds''

Victoria smiled as she walked into her quiet chambers. ''What did you want to discuss?'' She asked when the door was closed.

''I feel your trip to Windsor is a good idea, it will allow the palace a bit of breathing space to get over the rumours and the Prince's leaving. You will benefit greatly from that im sure''

Victoria smiled ''I will, and you are of course coming as well'' She prompted trying to hide her smile.

He nodded slowly ''I don't have much choice in the matter'' His words where true but he ensured it was spoken in a different tone. Causing Victoria to grin like a child.

''So, you still enjoy my company'' She replied shyly.

He smiled, forgetting for a moment everything that had happened, he was still attracted to her, and the time apart had done nothing but stoke that fire, he knew Windsor would either spell disaster or prove he was much stronger than he first thought at avoiding temptation. ''More than you can imagine'' He spoke quietly as he saw her walk towards him and sit on the table beside him.

''How much would I have to flatter you to get you to kiss me?'' Victoria spoke slowly before grasping her bottom lip within her teeth, awaiting anxiously for his reply.

He sighed as he stepped closer to her. Victoria's eyes became wide and her breathing shallow as he leant in, his face close to hers, his eyes trailed down to her lips before using his thumb to pull her bottom lip from her teeth. ''Your outfits alone are enough sometimes'' His voice was low as he stepped closer into her frame.

''Is it enough today?'' She whispered releasing a ragged sigh as his hand ran up her side, pressing into the curve of her waist before slipping round to her back pushing her closer towards him.

''What do you want Victoria?'' He asked quietly, his voice husky with arousal.

''You'' Victoria whispered ''All of you''

She hardly finished her sentence before he pulled her lips to his, there was nothing delicate about it, it was a hot, passionate kiss, unfolding every inch of self-preservation he had left, she had unravelling him very slowly, showing no regret for what had happened, only fear for the uncertainty it held. But she held no fear for them.

He had parted with her because he felt it was the best move for her, even though he had vowed not to do that when he first started all this with her, his heart had been overruled by his head which had impounded nothing but grief and suffering to him because he did 'what was right for her' What rubbish it had turned out to be.

His mind began to fill with forbidden thought as her hands explored his body, he bit down on her bottom lip, spurred on by her moans of sweet nothings and sighs of pleasure against his mouth, he swallowed her breath as it mingled together.

He parted from her lips long enough to grasp a breath of air before latching onto her neck, moving his way up to that sweet spot behind her ear which turned her spine to jelly.  
The nips of pain followed by the tender kisses sent electric shocks right down to Victoria's core, she could feel the unmissable pleasure building between her legs as she began to crave more than just his mouth. Her body hummed to his advances giving in to whatever he wished to do with her.

Her submissive nature against her determined authority as Queen aroused him, he saw a side to her that nobody had never seen. She would no doubt be the death of him.

He began to get lost in her, their surroundings faded, the risk of being found out, the rumours, the threats, it was all just pointless all he wanted was her, to hear her call his name, to feel her unravel around him.

But he knew with great regret they could not do that here.

He parted from her, catching his breath hearing her do the same.  
''You know we cannot, not here''

Victoria groaned in annoyance. ''You are a tease Lord M''

''You are a tease ma'am'' He replied as he straightened his cravat and coat. He hoped she felt as wound up as he did. ''Windsor, when do you wish to leave'' He asked.

''Tonight'' Victoria replied, knowing what delights awaited there.

 _ **Ok, so I was going to drag the 'separation between these two out a little longer, I love the pain it inflicts... but, I write chapters ahead, and knowing what lies in front it didn't work properly if they where still 'apart' so to speak.  
Personally, I think this is better, it adds a bit of sexual tension to the story and it was that silent connection on screens that made us fall in love with the pairing in the first place. Let me know your thoughts. **_


	18. Fear Of The Unknown

**Fear Of The Unknown**

 ** _I have had to add the letters V &M as a page breaker... every attempt at a page break seems to be removed when I publish. _**

Lord Melbourne stepped out of Victoria's chambers, he had ensured everything in his appearance looked normal to advert any suspicions, but he struggled to ignore the desire that was creeping through his body pulling him back towards the young woman who sat in her chambers trying to compose herself.

He must go back to Dover House to collect some things before travelling to Windsor. Victoria had wanted to travel with him, but he had insisted against it.  
He swatted away the guilt he felt for not telling Victoria what her mother had confided in him. He knew it would be for her own benefit in the long run given that Victoria would no doubt go into a tricky situation with her emotions ruling her actions, not telling her would allow him more time to sort out a plan to move forward and to allow the Duchess time to prove her daughter's happiness was paramount to him. He had his doubts.

''Lord Melbourne'' _Speak of the devil._ He turned around to see The Duchess walking with pace towards him.

''Have you spoken to Drina?'' She spoke quietly, knowing full well the walls had ears in the palace.

''Yes, she wishes to leave for Windsor tonight'' He replied calmly, holding his hands together at his waistline as he saw the look of surprise spread over her face.

''Tonight? That is very quick, what has encouraged her to leave so soon?'' The question was a genuine one, being a member of parliament had its benefits, he could lie when needed.

 _It probably has something to do with all the promises I made to her whilst pinning her to a table._ He packed that thought away until this evening. ''Her Majesty mentioned her wish of going to Windsor before the princes left. When I suggested going earlier than planned she explained how she wanted to get away for a while and that tonight would suit'' Lord Melbourne replied.

''You will look after her, won't you?'' The Duchess replied cautiously.

''I shall keep a close eye on Her Majesty'' _And so much more._ He clenched his teeth as he tried to contain his imagination.

''I know I have not always spoken fondly of you in the past, but I trust you would see her come to no harm'' The Duchess replied awkwardly

''I will see to it that Her Majesty stays safe ma'am, it would be a great help if you could find out the King's plans, as so I can devise a way to avoid it without causing a crisis''

''I shall do my best Lord Melbourne'' The Duchess offered a small smile before walking back the way she came.

Lord Melbourne breathed a sigh of relief as he turned and continued his path towards his carriage.

V&M

Victoria had chosen the same people as before, with the exception of Lord Alfred who was also attending this time. She had not wanted to take any risks but knew that Alfred was a trustworthy employee who, according to Mrs Skerrett did not take part in the gossip.

It was exceedingly difficult what had happened and although the crown already proved more important to her than she had first realised the idea of living without Lord Melbourne was unbearable. They had come to far now to not be a part of each other's private lives, going back to the way things where was impossible, to much had happened, plus, they both desired each other far too much to just ignore it. Victoria's stomach fluttered with the thought of what lay ahead. But she knew they could not keep going on like this, for one day they would be caught out, and there would be no excuse then.

How they would go about doing that however was the hard part.  
But for now, at least she had Windsor to look forward to.

V&M

Victoria stepped out of the carriage into the darkness of Windsor Castle. The cold air slipped beneath her bonnet and coat as she made her way towards the doors. Her ladies followed behind and up the steps, eager to enter the warmer environment.

Victoria shivered a little with cold, she hated travelling in the evening, there was no distraction from the chill in the winter nights. Entering the warm palace, she refused to give her coat to the doorman before continuing towards the large open fireplace centred in a room which held a grand piano and some chairs. It was the same as she had left it. The decorated walls and ceiling dragged her eyes across the room, inviting her further inwards.

So many memories flooded this place, such good times she held in her heart from here.

Victoria eyed the fireplace and immediately walked over, seating herself beside it enjoying the warmth as it caressed her.  
''Where is Lord Melbourne? He should be here by now'' Victoria looked over to her ladies.

''He is probably running late ma'am, I am sure he will be here soon'' Harriett replied cautiously as she saw Victoria's expression.

They all knew that Lord Melbourne was so rarely late. 

V&M

4 hours passed, and Lord Melbourne had yet to appear. Victoria began to worry that she had done something to offend him, he had seemed happy when she left him, perhaps things had moved too quickly. An awful fear ran through her as she realised she may never see him again, he usually always informed her if he was going to be late.

''I wish to write to him, immediately'' Victoria almost snapped as Emma stood and went off to find Lord Alfred.  
Victoria paced the room, a mixture of anger, hurt and anxiety ran through her, she hated not knowing, but her concern for his wellbeing troubled her the most, what if he had been involved in a crash, was he hurt, had he run away from her? Each thought hurt her, but none of them held an answer.

She made no effort to keep it neat, ink dabbed on the paper from the inkwell as she quickly scrambled a letter, explaining her worry for him and that if he did not inform her of his whereabouts tonight then she would return to the palace immediately to take things further.

Nothing in the letter explained her feelings, she couldn't put them into words. Victoria had gotten used to having control, and not doing so made her immensely uneased.

Another 2 hours went by, it was gone midnight. The dresser had prepared Victoria for bed, but she had refused to sleep until she was aware of Lord Melbourne's wear abouts.

He had not written back, Alfred had dropped the letter off with her fastest messenger and had confirmation that it was delivered to Dover House, yet no reply had been given.

''I think I should go to Dover house, I cannot stand this any longer'' Victoria stood and walked towards her chambers.

''Please Your Majesty, you cannot do that'' Emma explained her own desperation showing.

''What else can I do? Unless you know something or some way I can find out quicker then I will refuse to listen to you anymore'' Victoria shouted.

Emma remained quiet, knowing whatever she said would do nothing to comfort the Queen.

V&M

Mrs Skerrett was tightening Victoria's corset, pulling the air tighter into her already small frame.  
''Please hurry'' Victoria said quietly to the younger woman who was already working as fast as her tired hands would allow her.

As her corset was tied up Victoria straightened her back. A knock at the door followed by nobody entering sent a course of panic through her.  
''Robe... NOW'' Victoria almost yelled at the dresser who visibly jumped and scrambled to find a dark blue silk robe, covering her body as she wrapped it around her tightly, walking to open the door.

Victoria's eyes clamped on Lord Alfred who did not hesitate at her appearance, his face was grave and uneased as he spoke quickly and formally.  
''Lord Melbourne has arrived ma'am''

Victoria felt a wash of relief flow through her, yet a pang of anger also struck her as she walked past Alfred ''I wish to see him immediately''

Alfred hesitated. ''He has expressed not to be disturbed ma'am''  
Victoria remained quiet for a moment. ''Take me to him. Now'' Her voice was sharp and cold, using every inch of power she had within herself as Alfred succumbed and guided her back down the corridor, towards his wing.

He stopped at the door. Victoria saw he wanted to speak, but seemed to stop himself from doing so, instead he opened the door, allowing Victoria to enter.

Padding through the room she saw Lord Melbourne, his coat, cravat and shirt undone, his bare chest facing the fire as the dim light in the room outlined his frame. She could see him looking down, as if he was inspecting his body.

Victoria coughed quickly, watching him lift his head but not speak or turn around.  
''The least you could do is face me'' Victoria said coldly as she saw his stance.

Lord Melbourne lifted his head, slowly he began to turn. As his eyes met hers everything inside her changed, gone was the anger, the anxiety, the annoyance and what remained was pure panic and fear.

Victoria gasped as she took in his frame running over to him she looked over his body.

His chest and abdomen were covered in streaks of blood, some cuts across his side followed by some already forming bruises and redness. His eye and cheeks had taken some hard bashing, cuts across his jaw and a dark circle forming in the corner of his eye only enhanced the pain he must be feeling on the inside. His lip was swollen, and bleeding and his nose had been bleeding to.

Victoria felt tears sting in her eyes as she saw his broken form, he couldn't speak, he could hardly breath.  
She turned and quickly found a soft chair, pulling it across the floor Victoria guided him to sit down. He winced and groaned as he slowly seated himself.

''What happened?'' Victoria whispered as though her voice may cause him more pain. He couldn't answer her, instead he sighed and slowly closed his eyes, swallowing as he tried to control the pain.

He needed a doctor. Victoria found a thick blanket from the bed, covering him in it before dashing out of the room.

Lord Alfred stood waiting. ''Please accept my apologies Your Majesty, Lord Melbourne insisted he required no medical attention and not to be disturbed'' Victoria could see the young man's worry, she offered a small smile as comfort.

''I need Emma Portman immediately, and Sir James, tell him it is urgent'' Alfred nodded quickly and walked off. Victoria went to the drinks stand further down the corridor, grabbing a glass she poured out some brandy before walking back into the room.

V&M

He was sleeping when she got to him, the blanket remained over his chest, but his breathing was swallow. Victoria knelt beside the chair, even as his body remained still he looked in pain, his face tense as his chest rose up and down, he didn't look peaceful.  
She suddenly felt very guilty, all those hours thinking he had just left her, not explaining or giving him the credit he deserved given how loyal he had been to her, her heart ached with him as she felt the hot tears sting her cheeks as they fell from her eyes. Victoria gripped the chair, her knuckles going white as she tried to contain her sobs as to not wake him.

How could somebody do such a thing? What the hell happened to him...

She looked over his face, the cuts did not look to deep there, the bruises however already looked angry, his jaw and eye were swollen, his lip blue and puffy. Victoria looked down at the blanket covering his body, she slowly pulled the cover down his frame, exposing his abdomen.

She covered her mouth in a bid not to scream, the wounds where huge, lacerated and deep, the skin torn in an almost dead straight line, he was still bleeding here. There where 3 other injuries here to, most of his stomach had taken a beating, bruises forming across his chest and down beside his arms, she had not seen his back.

Victoria did not hear Emma walk into the room but turned her head quickly as she heard her breath in sharply as her eyes soaked in the sight in front of her.

Emma looked past the Queen, covering her mouth with her hand as she took in the man lying in the chair.  
''What happened?'' Emma whispered.

''He didn't breath a word'' Victoria explained ''I think he was in too much pain, I got him a chair and as he sat down he just slipped into a sleep''

''He needs a doctor, his body could be shutting down'' Emma said quickly, looking around the room in almost blind panic as Victoria covered him with the blanket before standing.

''I have already sent for Sir James'' Victoria walked away from him, towards the doors her step grew stronger as she headed towards the front doors to Windsor.

V&M

Emma sat quietly with Lord Melbourne, just minutes passed, but it felt like hours, he did not stir, move or wake up. Emma sipped at the stiff drink beside her before deciding to wake him, she was worried he was not just sleeping, and could bear the thought no longer.

Lord Melbourne groaned as Emma rocked his shoulder gently, stirring him from his sleep. To Emma's relief he awoke quickly, his eyes fluttered open, but he remained still as he took in his surroundings.

Emma saw him trying to swallow. Grabbing the brandy, she placed it near his lips. Perhaps tea or coffee would have been better, but Emma knew the Brandy would kill some of the pain he must be feeling.

Lord Melbourne took the warm liquid as it soothed his dry throat. He began to stir, trying to move but remembering the pain his body was in.

''Do not move, the doctor is on his way William'' Emma whispered quietly to him.

Lord Melbourne stirred and shook his head violently before trying to sit up. His cry in pain struck Emma's heart as she watched him struggle.  
''Where is she?'' Melbourne's voice was rasped and breathy, talking took his strength away.

''She is waiting for Sir James I think, im sure she will be back soon'' Emma spoke quietly, trying to calm him.

Lord Melbourne shook his head violently, writhing as the pain shot through his skull and down his spine. ''You must stay with her'' Melbourne breathed, searching Emma's eyes.

''She is a big girl William, she doesn't need a baby sitter, you need me more at the moment''

Emma began to grow concerned as the Priminister grew more and more distressed she began to regret waking him, slowly lifting his hand he grabbed Emma's and gripped it tightly. ''Do not let Victoria out of your sight'' Melbourne seethed through the pain before collapsing against the chair in a bid to regain his breath.

Emma looked over him for a minute as concern flooded her body.

V&M 

Victoria paced the corridors, occasionally hearing his cries of pain creep from behind the door. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she tried to contain her anxiety. ''What is taking so long'' Victoria nearly cried at Emma who remained seated against the wall ''How are you so calm?'' Victoria questioned Emma as she remained quiet and still.

''Worrying isn't going to do any good'' Emma said slowly ''He is in the best hands'' She tried to soothe the distressed Queen.

''Im sorry'' Victoria said as she continued to bite her finger nails. ''I have taken my fustration out on you, it was not my intention''

Emma smiled ''We know ma'am, it is a trying time for you, nobody will hold that against you''

Victoria sat beside Emma, finally giving in to her tired body and tried to relax a little ''Who would do this to him? What has he done to create such a hatred for him''

Emma opted to remain quiet about his words of warning, she was unsure if it was the pain talking or not.

The two women looked at the door as a cry of pain ripped through the corridor. Victoria stood and walked over to the door.

''Your Majesty, don't'' Emma tried to stop the Queen but to no avail as she opened the doors and walked quickly into the room.

Victoria's eyes found the doctor tending to the Priminister, his hands working on the side of his stomach.

She could not see exactly what he was doing, but she could see Lord Melbourne's hand gripped round the arm of the chair, digging his fingers into the seat as he writhed in pain.  
''Nearly done now William'' Sir James said through utter concertation as he tried to work on the writhing man.

Victoria sucked in a breath as she walked towards the two, the close she got the more she could see. Pads of cotton with a brown liquid on laid on the floor, his skin stained slightly with the cleansing liquid as it seeped into the wounds he had.

His eyes where shut, his face screwed up as Sir James stitched the large wound on his stomach, the needle and thread pulling his skin back together, every pull and thread inserted caused Melbourne to cry out.

Victoria saw the stiches on his face, it had been cleaned up leaving only the swelling and bruising forming on his face.

Sir James looked up briefly at the Queen as he finished his work, cutting the thread after tying it in a knot.

The Priminister let out a long deep breath as his body relaxed and went still, his breathing became slow once more and his face softened as his eyes closed. Victoria saw the hand on the edge of the chair loosen.

Sir James packed his things up and looked over his work before putting a statoscope on Melbourne's chest, listening carefully to his heart and lungs before nodding and walking away.

Victoria followed him out into the corridor to find Emma with Lord Alfred. The couple looked nervously towards the doctor whose expression had not lifted.

''Lord Melbourne has suffered severe trauma. The stiches will allow the wounds to heal properly but he has suffered severe bruising to his face and abdomen, and probably some internal bruising with muscle damage. He has also taken a rather nasty blow to the head and is suffering with a nasty concussion''

Emma sighed as she tried to hold back her tears ''Will he be ok Doctor?''

The doctor hesitated. ''The wounds and bruising should heal fine providing he doesn't contract any infection or strain himself during recovery. The concussion concerns me, he will spend a good deal of time asleep, but if he starts vomiting I will need to see him immediately''

Emma nodded before Sir James continued ''He will be pretty much immobile for a few days but should try to move after the concussion has eased to prevent fluid build-up'' He looked over the two ladies before smiling and walking away with Lord Alfred.

''Go and sit with him ma'am, he would like that im sure'' Emma smiled warmly to Victoria who complied and went to join the sleeping Priminister whilst she chased after the doctor.

V&M

''Sir James'' Emma called causing the doctor to turn around.

''The wounds on his stomach'' Emma started ''They looked straight cut...''

Sir James looked uneased as he realised the woman's question ''… Yes… I believe they have been caused by a knife, the wound was to deep and precise to be a blunt object. Although the wounds on his face are definitely blunt trauma''

Emma sighed ''Thankyou'' She answered, folding her arms as she made her way back to the pair.

As Emma entered the room she found Victoria had moved the divan closer to the fire, laying on it she appeared to be asleep facing Lord Melbourne.

Emma looked over the monarch who was exhausted, deciding not to disturb her and knowing she would probably refuse to leave him anyway she found a thick duvet and covered her before quietly leaving the room.

Emma walked down the corridor, feeling her feet heavy against the floor as she longed to get some sleep. Passing Harriett's chambers Emma decided to inform her on the evenings events.

Harriett was not asleep to Emma's surprise, she sat up in her bed.

''Why are you still up?'' Emma said as she shut the door quietly behind her.

''I was awoken when I heard the crying, it sounded serious, but I heard Victoria and decided to keep away''

Emma sighed ''Lord Melbourne has been attacked''

Harriett gasped in shock sitting up further in bed as Emma sat on the edge. ''Why? Who on earth despises him that much?''

''I do not think it was aimed at him'' Emma replied worryingly.

''Is he ok? Has he seen a doctor?''

''He has several wounds on his face caused by blunt trauma, along with a couple of cuts that have been stitched, he has a few rather nasty cuts on his abdomen'' Emma ran her hand across her side indicating to Harriett where he had been stabbed ''Which are knife wounds. And he has severe concussion''

Harriett gaped at Emma ''But he will be ok?'' She prompted

''Providing he rests, he should be in time, but it won't be a quick recovery''

Harriett sighed ''He will get better'' She tried to comfort her friend whom she knew cared deeply for William ''Does Victoria know?''

Emma nodded ''She is with him now, Lord Alfred told her that William had arrived but did not wish to be seen, obviously Vickie was having none of it so went to see him, only to find him barely able to stand, she waited whilst Sir James treated him, then went to sit with him and fell asleep so I left her there''

''Poor William'' Harriett said with a sorrowful tone

''He almost begged me not to let Victoria out of my sight, that I must look after her'' Emma said worriedly

''It was probably just the pain talking'' Harriett said comfortingly

''I don't think it was'' Emma replied ''I think he was trying to warn me. I fear Victoria may well be in danger''

 _ **Uho! Trouble in paradise? I think things are finally beginning to catch up to our couple. Who is behind it? You will have to wait and see… Thanks for reading!**_


	19. A Duck Out Of Water

**Duck Out Of Water**

Victoria opened her eyes to the bright light in the room. The sun was shining through the windows. She laid still for a moment, her mind fuzzy and slow, those few precious moments where nothing else in the world matters, when your mind is completely still of thought… and then...

She moved to sit up, remembering the events of last night, she winced in pain as her stiff neck and back moaned against the movement. The divan had not been comfortable, but the stress of yesterday had pushed her into a few hours sleep. As she looked over to her left there he lay, still sleeping, the blanket had slipped down from his chest, showing his bare skin to her. His face was almost unrecognisable, one eye was a mixture of purple and blue, his cheeks swollen and his lip blue and stained with dry blood.

His lips where parted slightly, but his breathing looked more stable than it was last night. Victoria had to be thankful for small mercies then.

As she stood and stretched her back she wrapped her silk robe around her body, blocking the chill from the room off her skin beneath. She moved round the divan to the fire to begin stoking it up, instantly feeling the warmth the new flames began to emit.

Turning around again she saw him beginning to stir, the small noise she had made must of disturbed him. Victoria couldn't deny she wanted to talk to him, to find out what happened, and to know how he was feeling. But the other part of her was scared, scared of what he had to say, if he would want her close to him, so much had happened between them, this was the cherry on top of the cake.

She sat on the arm of the divan as his eyes began to open slowly, he looked around the room, taking in his surroundings. He looked better than he did last night, well he did... until he moved.  
As Lord Melbourne tried to sit up in his chair his face screwed up as he cried in pain, it was a guttural type of cry, one that sent pain right into Victoria's soul. It hurt her to see him hurt. 

She stood and walked over to him, gently helping him to sit up slightly. Every move he made, be it with his hands, or feet seemed to cause him intense pain. She reached for the glass of brandy only to find it empty.

''I drank it during the night'' His voice was barely a whisper, it was not his normal voice. Victoria turned her head and knelt beside the chair, grabbing his hand and holding it gently. She tried to hold back the tears and the lump in her throat as she saw the broken man in front of her.

''Is there anything you want?'' She asked, speaking quietly whilst still holding his hand.

He remained quiet for a moment, slowly closing his eyes as his breathing slowed again, his hand was limp in hers and she knew he had drifted off back to sleep. She remained still for a moment, looking down at his hand in hers, she felt hot tears sting her face as they dropped from her cheeks, desperately trying to hold back the sobs as she clenched her eyes shut in a bid to slow down her emotions. She wanted to panic, to keep him awake and encourage him to eat something, to drink something, to sit up and tell her he feels better already. She had never been in this position before, and it was terrifying.

''Why are you crying?'' His voice was stronger this time, not so much a faint whisper but a breathy, groaning type of voice, it was deep and echoed within her ears as she lifted her head and saw him watching her, his soft eyes filled with emotion and concern.

''it is just a lot to take in, im worried about you that's all'' She tried to reassure him as she wiped the tears from her face.

''You do not need to be worried, I will be ok within a few days'' He offered her a small smile but winced as his cheeks pulled on the small cut laying there, the stiches binding his skin together.

Victoria squeezed his hand, mentally screaming at herself. She had to be strong, it was her turn to be there for him, not the other way around. ''You should drink something, even if you do not feel like it''

He moaned quietly ''I would like some tea please'' Melbourne asked slowly. 

Victoria nodded and stood immediately ''I will get you some'' She realised he still had hold of her hand, refusing to let it go.

''I would like to speak to Emma when suitable, not yet though'' He took a deep breath as he finished, and Victoria realised how weak just talking made him. 

''Of course,'' Victoria ignored the stab of jealously that shot through her, it was petty and pathetic at such a time, Emma was a dear friend who knew more about him than she did, of course he would want to see her.

It was as if he had awoken into a parallel world. Just yesterday he had obeyed her every wish, or order, she was to have anything she wanted or needed. And yet, today, it was him. It did not feel right, asking The Queen for tea and to see someone, he should be asking a servant. Victoria was not in a position to wait on him in such a way.

When Victoria came back into the room she saw he had sat up further, he was still awake to her silent relief and looked slightly more connected with his surroundings and environment. He turned his head to see her with the tea, placing it on the table beside him before adding the desired sugar and milk she saw him put in when she did the boxes with him.

''Why are the servants not doing that?'' He asked, his voice sounded better. Stronger.

''I told them you needed some privacy given your state of undress'' she looked down his chest, he had made no effort to cover himself up. She saw the stitches poking above the blanket, the wound was red and raw, weeping a little through the thread. ''Besides'' Her eyes found his again ''I am perfectly capable of making a pot of tea'' Victoria flashed him a smile, rejoicing in the way he smiled back.

''This is rather odd'' Lord Melbourne finally admitted in the silence

''What do you mean?'' Victoria asked, concerned

''There are many servants in this castle, you are the Queen, you should not be waiting on me'' 

Victoria smiled a little as she fondled the tea cup in her hand. ''But I want to'' She replied finally.

He looked over to her, his face lifted a little, a moment of contentment in what was going to be a painful few days.

She sat with him as he drank his tea, it was mostly silence, but she didn't mind that. He half dozed at times, before waking and trying to make himself more comfortable. It took all Victoria's will power not to rush to his side every time he moved, to fuss over him and ask if he needed anything. She had very little experience in caring for somebody, but past experiences of people fussing over her when she was unwell told her not to do what she hated herself.

V&M

''Are you hungry at all?'' Victoria asked quietly from over her book.

Lord Melbourne looked away from the window ''A little'' He admitted slowly reaching for his cup of tea which he continued to sip as Victoria regularly topped it up.  
''I could get you some fruit? Something light perhaps?'' She offered in a light but quiet voice.

He placed the cup back down, feeling the hot liquid slip down into his stomach soothing his sore muscles. ''Yes, please''

Victoria stood instantly and walked towards the door, it wasn't overly late yet, she had awoken early, and the time had dragged by as she continued to keep him company.

V&M

''How is Lord Melbourne?'' Emma's voice spun Victoria around, facing her she saw the look of concern on her face.

''He is awake, and seems much steadier today, he keeps falling asleep, but wishes for something to eat and fancies some fruit'' Victoria smiled as Emma breathed a sigh of relief.

''How did you sleep ma'am?'' Emma asked Victoria

''Not very well, I have terrible neck and back pain, the divan was less than inviting, but I got some sleep'' She had not been dressed yet.

''Perhaps you should get dressed and ready for your boxes ma'am'' Emma politely reminded Victoria of her duties as Queen despite not being at the palace.

''My boxes will not take any harm yet'' Victoria responded ''Im off to get Lord M some fruit, perhaps when he has eaten I will get dressed'' Victoria paused thinking over what to say next ''He wants to speak to you, although he isn't dressed yet I believe he would like to see you''

Victoria studied the look of surprise on Emma's face ''I will go now then'' The lady bowed and walked towards the room where her friend lay.

V&M 

Emma walked into the room, Lord Melbourne sat with his back to her, looking out the window, just where he laid last night. She took a deep breath as she tried to control her anxiety knowing he would not look very good.

''You never did handle pain very well'' Emma said cheerfully from beside the chair. Lord Melbourne turned and tilted his head, looking up at her as he took in her appearance. Emma placed a friendly hand on his shoulder before sitting opposite him. ''How did you sleep?'' 

''I think that's all I have done since I was brought here'' Melbourne said in a low and pain driven voice.

''Sir James said you have severe concussion, but once its worn off you should be feeling better'' Emma smiled towards her friend who looked less than impressed.

''For some reason I can't see that being true'' Melbourne replied almost sarcastically  
''Well, you never did handle pain very well. But I must admit, you where in a state last night, you pretty much passed out whilst we where waiting for Sir James to arrive, you had us all worried'' 

''Hmm… I suspect the Queen is tired, she stayed with me all night'' He slowly raised his hands to rub his eyes, tenderly missing the cuts and bruises forming on his face.

Emma nodded ''I think so to, she refused to leave you last night, I didn't have much choice. Which reminds me, what where you trying to tell me yesterday? I was told not to let Vickie out of my sight?''

Melbourne began to think back, trying to work his way through the thick swamp of thoughts and emotions in his head, everything was mixed together and blurry ''Im sorry, I cannot remember'' He said slowly and very apologetically

''Well the guards have been made aware of your wishes, they are keeping a close eye on her, but I haven't told her anything, I didn't want to worry her unnecessarily''

''There was something I wanted to tell you'' Melbourne began, he paused as he tried to make sense of it all.. ''I just… can't for the life of me remember what it was'' He continued to sit and think.

''Perhaps when you come to a bit more you will remember'' Emma smiled at him and masked her concern at the Priminister's lack of memory.

He nodded slowly, closing his eyes.

V&M

Victoria walked back into the room, she was washed and dressed, albeit informally, but she did not feel like being properly dressed, the corset was looser than usual, her dress hugged her curves without being over decorated or confining, and she wore no jewellery at all. Her hair was done in a bun with trendil curled down the side of her face. Victoria felt better for being changed for the day, but she had no plans, and intended to stay as close to Lord Melbourne as possible.

When she walked in to see him she saw the fruit, laid out on the table that she had requested. Unsure of what type of fruit to get for him she had ordered everything they had in the kitchen, plus asked for a few exotic fruits to be brought in. He had eaten some of it, she noticed as she grabbed a slice of melon and walked past him. He was reading the paper, or trying to. His eye sight was not very good as he strained to read the words.

''How was the fruit?'' Victoria asked capturing his attention

''It was a welcomed relief to my sore throat'' Melbourne replied smiling, he had still not been changed or moved from his chair.

Victoria seated herself on the divan ''People are asking after you, it seems you are cared for''

He looked at her over her paper ''I will be back to normal shortly, they need to stop fussing'' He responded slowly  
''Its second nature'' Victoria argued.

He looked over her form as she watched him. ''I do hope you will sleep in a bed tonight rather than the divan''

''And I hope you will to, rather than the chair, im sure you would be more comfortable in a bed'' Victoria chided playfully.

''I agree, but getting to the bed is going to be the hard part'' He almost reminded her

Victoria looked down his body ''How is the wound on your stomach? It looked bad last night'' 

He looked down also ''Sore'' he admitted ''But not unbearable if I remain still''

''Would you like to be changed into something more comfortable?'' Victoria offered

He had to admit it did sound inviting, but the idea of being changed by a group of people did nothing for him. ''I think I will remain as I am for now, although I would like to be moved into a bed later'' He looked across to her.

Victoria nodded. ''I shall not sleep on the divan tonight, it was most uncomfortable''

''I must say It was a nice sight to wake up to'' He smiled at her as she laughed, more in relief at the fact he was at times showing his old self. It gave her hope, if she had nothing else. The situation made her feel like a duck out of water, being Queen did not entitle her to the powers of mother nature. 

==================================================================================

Victoria dabbed her paint brush into the grey coloured paint, her painting in front of her forming nicely. She had spent the entire day with Lord Melbourne, only parting from him to get some fresh air when he fell into a deep sleep. The day had been filled with little conversation, little laughter, but a more relaxed environment compared to what had been at the palace and for that Victoria was thankful.

She sighed as she dabbed on the piece of paper. She was trying to paint Dash. At times like this memories of him came flooding back, from his bark through to his loyalty and seemingly limitless understanding, he would comfort her when she was upset, soothe her when she was anxious, and make her laugh when she needed to. Her heart ached as she began to remember all the good times they shared.

She had never done him justice really, either giving up and screwing the painting up or finishing it and being unsatisfied, but she had spent a few hours on this one and saw his kind eyes came to life on the piece of paper.

She stood from her seat, stretching her back as she made her way over to the window, looking out at the grounds as the sun was dragging the daylight away. She had planned her trip to Windsor so differently to this. She was desperate for answers, she wanted to know exactly who did this to him and why.

''You must be bored, sitting here watching me sleep'' Victoria turned quickly from the window, the voice was much more familiar, still groggy, but much more like his.

She smiled warmly towards him ''Not at all, if I leave I just want to be back here'' Victoria admitted before walking back towards him. 

''Well then, that is considered an honour I believe'' He smiled as he slowly straightened his body, shuffling towards the edge of the chair he had been in for most of the day.

''Do you want to get up?'' Victoria took a step towards him before stopping and remembering herself.

He nodded noticing her hesitation ''I would like to try and get onto to bed'' He groaned as he felt his stomach pull.

Victoria walked over to him, holding her hands out him as he slowly rose from his seat. Wincing in pain he straightened himself out, gripping her hands as he began to feel the room spin around him.

''Are you ok?'' Victoria held onto him tightly as she felt his body grip to hers, he was clearly very unsteady.

Lord Melbourne nodded his head as he swallowed the lump in his throat, nausea wracked his body as he tentatively began to walk.

It took forever to get to the bed, but as his body began to work again he felt a sense of control sweep through him as he realised his injuries have not rendered him totally useless.

He was however glad to reach the bed, seating himself on the soft mattress he instantly felt the tension in his back begin to disperse. His bare chest was visible to Victoria as she released his hands and looked down at his wounds.

She didn't falter, she didn't want to run away, look away or change her expression, and it was then that he realised she would not be going anywhere anytime soon.

''Would you like to be changed?'' Victoria asked again tentatively as she stepped back ''I can fetch somebody else if it would make you comfortable''

''I am sure I can manage with a little help'' He studied her expression as she got his hint.

To his surprise she smiled, no, she grinned at him. He felt light touch his heart, her smile emitted such vibrancy and spirit into his wounded body, it gave him strength. ''Of course'' Victoria replied smiling still ''I shall find your cases''

She came back a short while later with some more comfortable clothes and his much-loved robe. He was cold now, his skin was prickling as the fire seemed a great distance away, he remained seated on the bed, he had not laid down. The room was no longer spinning, and he felt strong enough to sit upright.

Victoria picked the robe up first and moved round behind him, just as she was about to place the robe over his back she saw the bruises across his spine, they where large and almost circular in places, they looked like the ones on his face. Victoria snapped out of her thoughts and gently laid the robe over his bare shoulders before waiting for him to undress.

V&M

''Your cheating'' Victoria chided as she looked across the cards laid on the bed ''that's the third time in a row, there is no way its pure luck''

''Practice my dear'' Lord Melbourne said before sipping at his brandy. The drink had dulled the pain out a bit, he had found his voice again and his head felt much better.

Victoria smiled as she rounded up the cards ''I am not going to be made a fool of any more tonight, perhaps tomorrow I can redeem myself'' His laughter in her ears however was payment enough.

Victoria yawned as she looked over at the clock, it wasn't overly late, but she was tired, it had been a trying 24 hours.

He reached out and grabbed her hand ''Why don't you retire ma'am''

Victoria shook her head ''No'' She said firmly ''Not until you are asleep''

''I have all I need here, you do not need to sit with me any longer, you have done enough today''

''Well you can say that, but the minute I leave the room I just want to be back in here''

The lack of control she had on the situation agitated her, she needed that control that she was so used to.

''Come back and see me when you are ready to retire'' He offered ''Im not going anywhere''

Victoria found it hard to ignore her tired body now. ''Ok'' She agreed, releasing his hand and standing to leave the room.

V&M

Victoria padded through the cold corridors of Windsor, darkness had long since fell, the staff had retired down to their quarters, many of the candles had been blown out and replaced ready for tomorrow, and the fire places she passed where embers and small flames. The castle was rather spooky at night, but then so was the palace.

She reached his doors, the room was lighting was dim as she entered the room and looking over to the bed she could see he was laying down. The covers where still as she quietly walked over to the bed side, glancing over his sleeping form.

Victoria had said goodnight to him, but, despite being tired she just couldn't sleep. Biting her lip, she walked round the bed to the empty space beside him, before slowly, as to not wake him slid in under the covers.

She laid there for a moment, staring at the ceiling as she felt him stir beside her. He turned to her, his eyes adjusting to the light. He grimaced as he turned momentarily, remembering the pain he burdened before his face, still sleep ridden, softened.

''I couldn't sleep'' Victoria whispered as she searched his face.

He found her hand beneath the covers, lacing his fingers between hers he began to lightly stroke her knuckles with his thumb. Victoria watched him close his eyes and drift off before she to slipped into a deep sleep.

 _ **I both hate and love writing chapters like this... we have all been there, one way or another im sure! Thoughts please, good or bad... they all help me to keep writing. Thanks for reading!**_


	20. Motive

**Motive**

 _ ****PLEASE READ****_

 _ **Authors Note – I am so thankful to everybody that reads, follows, favs and reviews this story. I do not do this professionally and am honestly amazed at the amount of people that have read this. I know I do not always update regularly however I do NOT want nasty PM's telling me to update more often, especially as I received one a few hours after I posted the previous chapter.  
I travel a good deal for my work so updating, and writing is difficult at times. I try to post as regularly as possible. I enjoy doing this, but if I get any further PM's pushing me to update (in an excessively rude way might I add) then I will A) Name and shame the person who is doing it and B) stop updating all together.  
This is just a bit of fun, and im so pleased other people are enjoying it as much as I do. But messages like this upset me. Please do not ruin it for everyone else. Patience is a virtue!**_

 _ **Anyway, rant over. Enjoy!**_

Victoria was awoken rather abruptly as a hand hit her back, blinking for a moment she immediately turned to face Lord Melbourne who, with his eyes still shut was writhing on the bed. Victoria sat up quickly, watching him for a moment, he was muttering, but not anything she could understand other than the word no.

Victoria saw his breathing accelerate and his face shine with sweat, he was having a nightmare. Gently rocking his shoulder, she began to call his name, drawing him out of his dream. 

Lord Melbourne's eyes snapped open, his breathing began to slow as he realised what was going on. Closing his eyes again he rubbed a hand over his face before sighing deeply and looking back at Victoria.

He saw her face of concern and offered a small smile ''I am sorry to of disturbed you'' He clasped her hand as he moved to sit up, slowly doing so as to not pull on his wounds.

His bruises where coming out properly now, his eye and cheek bone all down one side of his face shaded with deep purple, yellow and blue bruising, the swelling had diminished around his lips, leaving nothing but the stitches, wound and grazes he suffered.

''Are you ok Lord M? you seemed very distressed, would you like some water?'' Victoria grabbed her robe from beside the bed, throwing it over her back and slipping her arms into it to stand.

He shook his head quickly ''No, im fine, honestly'' Lord Melbourne replied.

''Do you have nightmares often?'' Victoria asked remaining seated on the edge of the bed, her fingers tracing circles on his hand.

''Sometimes'' He admitted slowly ''They are nothing to worry about'' But his voice was far than convincing.

Victoria eyed him sceptically ''How is your head?'' She asked, moving to lean on the headboard of the bed sitting beside him.

''Much better, thankfully'' He admitted cheerfully ''Perhaps I can venture out today, this room feels like a prison''

Victoria laughed ''You have been in here for 1 day and 2 nights'' She paused ''Do you not enjoy my company?'' 

He looked over to her ''Your company is the only thing that keeps me sane at times'' He smiled at her.

Victoria was beginning to see the old Lord Melbourne again, not just since the accident but before the papers, the witty charm, relaxed form, the smile and inside jokes, all the traits that she had fell in love with, she saw her friend again.

''I am glad you are feeling better, but, Sir James said you must rest properly until the concussion has completely dispersed, which means no exercise'' She tilted her head at his disgusted expression.

''Fresh air will do me no harm'' He insisted

''You make a terrible patient'' Victoria muttered but couldn't help but smile at him

''And you'' He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him ''Make an excellent nurse'' Victoria was careful not to press against his wounds as she ran her hand up his bare chest and towards his shoulder, just skimming the skin enough to feel the contours of his body beneath her hand. She looked up at him, their eyes locking together as she pulled her head in towards him. 

She felt his hand run down her back, feeling the soft silk of her robe and pressing his hand into it further. She wanted to kiss him, but, thought better of it. ''Your lip'' She ran her finger across her own in the same place his was cut ''I suppose it would hurt if I touched it''

He nodded slowly, reluctantly agreeing with her as she laid beside him and placed her head on his shoulder.

V&M

Emma and Harriett sat at the table, the breakfast laid out in its usual display. 

''How is Lord Melbourne this morning?'' Harriett looked across to Emma as she seated herself

''Much better, although I was told he suffered a nightmare last night. Victoria said he was in a right state.

''How did Her Majesty know?'' Harriett enquired. 

Emma didn't answer but gave the woman a knowing look.

''We really shouldn't be allowing this, its only going to come back on us''

''She went into her own chambers last night, Skerrett prepared her for bed, she must of snuck in there after we retired, we cannot keep a 24 hour watch on her''

''I hope she does not get a repeat on the papers, whoever did that has it in for her'' Harriett said worriedly

Emma nodded as she poured herself a cup of tea. ''He is coming to breakfast this morning, Vickie said he wants to go outside and get some air. He wouldn't take no for an answer''

Harriett smiled ''It will do him some good''

''I wrote to the palace yesterday, informing The Duchess of what happened, to inform her that Victoria may not be home as planned depending on William's recovery''

''Does she know what happened?''

''I wrote to her explaining it all, it will lay any rumours to rest that are floating about at the palace''

''I hope Victoria agrees'' Harriet replied.

V&M 

Victoria pushed the wheelchair through the corridors of Windsor, all the staff looked at Lord Melbourne as he was wheeled through the castle. A few people commented, expressing their relief that he was doing well and would be ok.

It had taken Victoria about 30 minutes to convince him to get into the chair, he did nothing but mock the contraption. But in the end, Victoria's persistence paid off. It was the best of both worlds, he got to go outside without the need to strain himself.

''This is daft, my legs work fine'' He huffed as they reached the doors

''It isn't your legs im worried about'' Victoria said in an exasperated tone. 

Melbourne breathed in the cold air of the spring morning, the clean air cleared his head almost immediately and for just a moment all the pain was forgotten.

Victoria watched him from behind, smiling as she saw the utter relief on his face as he scanned the grounds, taking in every little detail his eyes could see.  
''I cannot stand being stuck inside for long, the outside world is much more interesting''

''I agree'' Victoria wrapped her coat tighter around her as she clocked some horses in a carriage come up the drive

''Are you expecting company?'' She asked cautiously

Lord Melbourne saw the carriage and shook his head. The closer it got the more familiar it became, and as Victoria spotted the royal stamp on the side she realised who it was.

The Duchess sat inside the carriage as it pulled up, she saw the pair and stepped out immediately. ''I got Emma Portman's letter and came straight away'' The Duchess looked over Lord Melbourne her face etched with sorrow and uncertainty ''Why on earth are you outside?''

''Lord M fancied a bit of air mama, why on earth are you here?'' Victoria said coldly

The Duchess looked hurt at her daughters words ''I am here because I was worried, the letter described a terrible event, I was concerned Victoria''

''Well as you can see there is no need mama, everything is under control here'' Victoria turned the wheelchair and began pushing it back into the castle, her mother followed behind. ''In fact I am most annoyed that Lady Portman wrote to you without my permission''

''I am not staying Drina, if that's what you're worried about, I am merely here to talk with Lord Melbourne'' The Duchess tried to reason with her daughter.

The Priminister sat quietly In his chair, listening intently as he was pushed through the corridors once more trying to ignore the significant embarrassment he felt at the situation.

''Why, what is so important that you cannot wait until we return?'' 

''Many things are important Drina'' The Duchess replied.

Lord Melbourne sat thinking as the two women continued to speak. His brain was fuzzy over the memories, but seeing the Duchess triggered something, but he couldn't for the life of him remember what it was.

''Please Victoria, I just need to discuss something with him'' The Duchess almost begged

''Whatever you have to say you can say it in front of me'' Victoria snapped. 

''Why don't you go and find Lady Portman Your Majesty, I need to speak with her'' Lord Melbourne spoke calmly to Victoria who was beginning to get agitated

''I am not leaving you with mama'' Victoria said firmly

''I am injured, not senile'' He said stiffly ''I do need to speak to Emma… Please'' He said carefully but firmly.

Victoria looked over to her mother, before back at Lord Melbourne... she stood there for a moment thinking before giving in and walking off.

The pair remained in the corridor for a moment. ''I believe if it is important we should talk in private'' Lord Melbourne uttered.

The Duchess quickly grabbed the wheelchair and pushed it into a room out of sight, closing the door quietly.

V&M

''I am so sorry for your injuries Lord Melbourne, I can only express my deepest wishes for a quick recovery'' The Duchess spoke quietly but quickly. The Priminister could see her anxiety

''They are superficial, whoever did it to me did a good job, however I will recover quickly enough'' He said calmly

The Duchess smiled. ''Do you have any idea who did this to you?'' She looked over him waiting patiently for an answer  
''At the moment, no. My memory is less than clear currently. The Doctor said it should return in time'' He sounded more worried than he intended to be.

The Duchess nodded ''Do you think my brother had anything to do with this?'' She asked cautiously.

Lord Melbourne could remember events before the attack, and snippets of afterwards, all imbetween was just a blur. His desire to protect Victoria was still there, and he remembered the arranged marriage prospect. ''It very well be a possibility, it is a strong enough motive''

''I am not sure my brother is such capable of things'' The Duchess said slowly

''Like I said, he has a big enough motive''

''I have found out a few things, on his plans that is. If you are well enough to listen, if not we can talk when you return to the palace''

He could see the woman was very anxious and uncertain. Since Victoria had become Queen she had constantly put him down, called him a bad influence and told Victoria to be careful, now however, the tables had turned, she was asking him for help, to keep her daughter safe. She may not be an entirely loving mother but her desire to keep her daughter safe was clear, even if Victoria didn't always see it that way. ''I am perfectly well, it does not hurt to listen'' He offered the Duchess a small, reassuring smile.

''He is planning to take Victoria to Hannover, I believe he will announce the arranged marriage there, that way things can be put into place before Drina has a chance to change it''

''He cannot just up and move her like that, she needs notice, and to consent of course''

''I know, but he will use an excuse of some sort, and despite his current behaviour, Victoria still thinks a good deal of him, and will probably trust him''

''I cannot do much but advise her against it'' Lord Melbourne replied sadly.

''She will listen to you Lord Melbourne, you have never let her down, it may not seem like it, but you have a better relationship with her than him'' 

Lord Melbourne stayed quiet, he knew full well their relationship was better than what Victoria shared with the King, he also knew he had to tread carefully in order to advert any unwanted attention. Truthfully it was a little too much to think about now, his head was fuzzy, and he felt a little tired.

''I will wait for her to mention the trip, and then do my best to change her mind'' The Priminister replied finally.

The Duchess nodded quickly, smiling as she rose to stand. ''If my brother had anything to do with what has happened to you I shall never forgive him. No man should have to resort to violence to get what they want''  
''Perhaps I will remember the events soon'' He replied as The Duchess gathered her things and made her way to the doors. 

''I shall see you soon Lord Melbourne'' The Duchess replied as she saw Victoria enter the room. ''Goodbye Drina'' She smiled at her daughter who made no effort to return the gesture

''Goodbye mama'' She watched her mother leave the room. ''What did she want?'' Victoria asked Melbourne who gave her a disapproving look.

''You should not be so cold to your mother, treat everything she says as honesty and when she is dishonest then reprimand her but, what she says sometimes may well be honesty'' He looked over her as she listened to his words before smiling slowly and visibly relaxing before nodding

The Duchess was right, he did have an upper hand, but should he be using it. He should tell her what is going on. Their relationship is now filled with secrets and lies, why did he have to fall for her, why could it not be for somebody less… important.

He sighed deeply, capturing Victoria's attention. ''So, what mama said to you, you think it was her being honest?'' Victoria asked as she dabbed her paint brush into a grey colour.

''Yes'' Lord Melbourne replied slowly ''Very much so''

Victoria looked over Lord Melbourne, before continuing with her painting trying to ignore the desire to know what him and her mother talked about. 

V&M

''I would not over react'' Victoria said quietly to her companion from over her book.

He glanced over to her, knowing full well what she was referring to ''There is nothing to react to''

''So why won't you tell me'' Victoria said confused. 

''I will, in due time, but for now, just relax a little'' He look at Victoria from over the paper, his eyes meeting hers. For some reason it sent shivers down her spine, the way his eyes reached over the paper rather than him putting it down to look at her.

He smirked a little before continuing to read. Victoria stayed quiet for a moment. ''Will I like it?''

He dropped his smile, continuing to look at the paper. ''What do you like?'' He asked in a bid to change the subject placing the paper down to give her his attention.

''Well... painting and riding obviously'' Victoria started, putting her book down

''Obviously, what else''

She stood from her seat and walked towards him, sitting down beside him and looking over his expression. ''Spending time with you, dancing with you''

He smiled. ''That is one of my most favourite things to do''

''We have not danced together in ages Lord M'' Victoria remarked as she found her memory flooding back to those magical moments. '' The dance here was by far the best one''

His mind cast back ''Yes, I quite agree'' He looked over to her and smiled, taking her hand encouraging her to move closer to him.

He leant on his good side, or at least, the one that felt better than the other. Looking into her eyes he saw that same determined, intelligent woman, who's eyes sparkled with hope and promise. It didn't matter what the situation, what was thrown at her, she handled it. Like a Queen.

''I am very lucky to spend so much time within your company ma'am'' He grazed his fingers over hers as she intertwined their hands and held them tightly.

''I am the lucky one Lord M, you are the only reason I am who I am today''

He shook his head quickly. ''No, that was always within you, it just needed bringing out that's all''

''My persistence paid off with you'' Victoria reminded him, smiling as she saw him laugh a little. He looked happy, relaxed even.

They didn't need to speak all the time, the silences they shared were comfortable, their company was comfortable, it was a sign of good companionship.  
He traced his fingers delicately down her cheek bone before following the line of her jaw, he watched her close her eyes, feeling his touch carefully, parting her lips as she tilted her chin to the applied pressure.

He leant forward, her chin still within his fingers, and kissed her gently. Pressing his sore lips to hers, not enough to cause him pain, but enough for her to feel. It was delicate, feather like as if she may break right there under his touch.

The emotions he felt when their bodies touched still surprised him. Him an older man, with more life experience, one who thought feelings for women where behind him. He never thought he would feel this way again. His body lit up to her touch, minor or intimate, it didn't matter. It caused a spark.

He parted from her slowly, releasing her chin he watched her head drop a little and her eyes flutter open, her lips where still parted, and her cheeks tinted with a blush. Suddenly the question began to interesting not to ask.

''How does it make you feel?'' He didn't feel the need to add extra detail

''Like a spark, intense and delightful'' She spoke quietly, as though the air was precious.

He smiled, his eyes shining ''Just the same as me'' He replied.

 _ **I had to add something to it... recovery is boring, we all know that! But Victoria is getting suspicious, how will she react when she finds out? Please review! Thanks for reading.**_


	21. Freedom

**Freedom**

Victoria awoke snuggled into his side. Her mind caught up with her after a moment as she slowly moved, careful not to touch his raw wounds beneath the covers. He was still laying on his back, but she could see he looked peaceful in his slumber, his face was relaxed, and his breathing was slow. Behind the bruises and cuts she saw the man she loved.

Victoria looked over towards the window, the spring sunshine was seeping through the curtains, drawing light into the room. Her spirits were lifted, she intended to go outside today.

She got out of bed, wrapping her silk robe around her slender body she made her way over towards the fire, taking in some of the warmth of the chilled room. 

''You are up early'' His voice was deep and laced with sleep as Victoria turned back to the bed to see Melbourne awake and watching her.

''I did not mean to wake you'' She smiled at him as she walked towards the bed once more ''I was going to send for some tea'' She suggested

He nodded quickly as he slowly lifted himself up to lean on the bed. ''I simply must get out of this room today, I cannot stand being in the same place for too long''

Victoria noticed his lack of reaction to moving himself, his body was beginning to recover, and he was clearly more mobile than yesterday.  
''Do you feel any better?'' Victoria sat down on the edge of the bed beside him as she searched his eyes.

He nodded and smiled slowly ''Less pain than yesterday'' He spoke with a cheerful tone, it sent light into Victoria's soul.

''Can you remember what happened?'' She asked tenderly, truthfully it was the first thing she wanted to ask when she saw him that night, but the time had not been right.

He lost his smile as he hesitated ''Vaguely, it comes and goes'' He spoke slowly, as though carefully choosing his words ''I remember being in the carriage and travelling here, but after that, nothing much. I awoke in the carriage almost propped up on the floor, and the pain was unbearable, but the driver bought me here and... well you know the rest'' He reminded her.

''We need to speak to the police, ultimately somebody had a motive to attack you, and I do not wish to have it happen again'' Victoria said sternly despite him shaking his head.

''I am a priminister, I have many motives on people and the decisions … I… make'' He lost his words as his mind relayed something.

''What is it?'' Victoria said as she saw his expression change. She watched him as he began to get lost deep in thought. When he looked back up he looked unsettled. ''What's the matter?''

Lord Melbourne raised his eyebrows before offering a small smile ''Nothing, nothing at all. But I would like to speak to Lady Portman if that's possible, perhaps whilst you are being dressed'' 

''I am not stupid Lord M, I know when something is going on, and something has unnerved you, I wish to know what it is''

He smiled warmly at her, taking her hands within his and squeezing them. ''I am fine, it is nothing to worry about. My mind is a bit blurry, I suppose the concussion has confused things a little''

Victoria looked down at his hands within her own, she knew he would not lie to her, and she trusted him, but something told her he was worried. The concussion had its benefits, she could now read his expressions, he had not regained control enough to hide his thoughts from his features just yet.

''Very well'' Victoria said before standing, she slowly released his hands and walked towards the door, quietly closing it behind her.

Melbourne's face dropped like a stone the minute Victoria closed the door. 

V&M

''I hear you are feeling better'' Emma's voice grabbed his attention from the window he was seated beside. The sun seeping through the glass warmed his skin, making him wish he was out there, enjoying the fresh air. 

''Much better, although I am far from well'' He said gravely

''What is the matter?'' Emma asked cautiously

''I remember'' He said quietly

Emma's face fell as she remained quiet and sat beside him.

''I do not know who it was'' Melbourne began ''They had their faces covered, but I remember travelling here and the carriage was stopped, one man held a gun, threatening to shoot if I did not exit the carriage, when I stepped out I saw 3 covered men, I assumed they intended to rob us. But they started speaking''

''What did they say?'' Emma kept her voice calm as her heart pounded within her chest.

''They said I had given the public a motive, that my selfish actions have endangered the Queen's rein and I have been a fool not to walk away sooner''

Emma held her breath

''I tried to tell them that I was purely there as a Priminister and Personal Secretary to the Queen but it infuriated them further. They told me that if I did not take this then Victoria would''

''Take what?'' Emma asked

Lord Melbourne gestured to his body ''Knifes, a large bat, fists, feet, the lot. I can remember every blow, every stab of pain, until I could no longer stand. One got down on his knees and said, 'If you hold any value to your life you will leave the Queen to live hers'. And then he kicked me in the stomach''

Emma grabbed his hand as she tried to control her breathing. ''I am so sorry'' She whispered

''I heard them threaten the driver, telling him if any of my staff revealed the events of that night they would be killed. After that I can only remember coming to in my carriage which im assuming my staff helped me in as I was propped up on the floor rather than the seats, the carriage was moving quickly, and then I arrived here''

''That night you begged me not to let Victoria out of my sight, that I must keep an eye on her. I assumed it was the pain talking''

''I had forgotten until I mentioned the word motive, then It all came flooding back''

''What does Victoria think?''

''She doesn't know, and she will not know'' Melbourne replied plainly

''What?!'' Emma said shocked.

''If I tell her she will let loose hell, everybody will be searched, she will leave no stone unturned to find out who did this, therefore endangering herself and my staff, if word gets out that I was attacked and the story was leaked they will come back for us, it was our motive to keep quiet'' He said quickly. ''I need to find out why and who was behind this, those men where professionals, somebody hired them im sure of it''

''Why would anybody do that?'' Emma said a little calmer. Melbourne could tell she didn't buy his theory

''Somebody made that story up to the papers''

''Ok, firstly, the story was partially true and you said the servant almost caught you, that the situation was less than explainable, and secondly, the palace is a net of staff and allies to Vickie, why would somebody deliberately try to hurt her?''

''Where there are people there is deceit, and I have a fair few suspicions. What better place to hide than within a crowd.'' Melbourne replied quietly.

V&M

Victoria breathed in the spring air, the grass was greener and the flowers coming into bloom as her mount padded through the soft grass.

Truthfully, she had wanted to get outside, Victoria loved nature, it was the one place in the world where nothing was controlled, being indoors for long periods of time only reminded her of Kensington.

Of course, she had wanted to be indoors. Lord Melbourne had not told her to stay in with her, but he had needed the company, and she could not have left him whilst he was so immobile and pained with his injuries, but today he seemed much better, her guilt on leaving him diminished as she realised he probably wanted some time alone.

She hated being fussed over and tried to remember that when everything inside her screamed to make a fuss of him. He was not a pet. He was a human being.

This was not her usual horse; the big chestnut horse seemed a little daunting to mount. His powerful shoulders and quarters rippled beneath her as he walked, giving Victoria a sense of just how powerful he was.

It was clearly very boring walking, the stallion began to jog and pull at the reins as she reached an open bit of land. A part of her felt safe, whilst the other felt unsure of the horses reactions.

The child in her couldn't resist. Placing a small amount of leg to the horse's sides he skipped a beat of trot and popped into a large canter. It took the monarch by surprise as the powerful creature began to cover the ground much quicker than she had intended but immediately settled at a faster pace. She smiled and let out a laugh as moved with him, feeling at one with the world as she ploughed through the grounds, weaving her way into a woodland track before pulling him back.

She stopped him, patting his warm neck as she loosened her reins and allowed him to walk out a little.

''I should probably be heading back'' Victoria murmured into the silence ''It is rather strange riding alone''

Victoria trotted through the woodland as the castle came to view again. Blocking her path laid a fallen tree, the groundsmen had clearly cut the branches off in a bid to move the trunk, but the thick tree trunk laid across the width of the path, it was not overly large, yet rather wide.

Victoria turned around, she would have to go back the long way around… Unless…

She had not jumped a horse in so long. Her mother had nearly forbidden it at the possible risk of injuries, but she loved jumping, it was like flying without wings _'In riding a horse we are borrowing freedom'_ Victoria remembered writing this down in her journal. It was a saying she held very close to her heart. 

She picked her reins up, reeling the Chestnuts head up as she felt the power begin to build beneath her once more, he locked onto the log and seemed as keen as she was. Victoria did not use her leg but purely clicked her tongue, smiling as the horse leapt into that large stride eating up the ground as he neared the tree.

There was not a moment's hesitation from either of them. The horse almost charged at the fence before taking a huge jump over the log, way more than what Victoria was expecting.

As he landed Victoria sat back, regaining her balance as she cantered the horse back towards the castle, laughing all the way.

V&M

Victoria reached the driveway and immediately noticed a royal marked carriage beside the front of the house, the carriage driver wearing the royal uniform waiting with the other staff.

Victoria huffed as she walked the horse back towards the stables.

''I would like this horse to come back to the palace with me'' Victoria remarked quickly to the surprised groom.

''You enjoyed him ma'am?'' The groom said shyly

''His energy is refreshing'' Victoria smiled as she replied ''He was both frightening and exhilarating''

''Many people do not like him, he has been known for making people feel unsafe'' The groom said honestly as he offered the chestnut a treat, loosening his tack.

''He never put a foot out of line, this horse wishes to live life in a faster pace is all, I need one like him in my stables he is the definition of freedom''

The groom smiled and bowed as Victoria walked off.

''You have landed on your feet mate'' The groom patted the stallion who merely searched for further treats.

V&M

Victoria walked through the corridors of Windsor, it was relatively quiet for this time of day. Her curiosity on who was visiting from the palace peaked as she heard voices in Lord Melbourne's chamber.

She stopped at the double doors, the voices slightly muffled from behind the thick wood and stone walls. The footman slowly reached for the door handle, opening it quietly allowing Victoria to enter.

Her eyes fell on The Duchess and Uncle Leopold who sat seated beside Lord Melbourne. They all looked over to her. Lord Melbourne looked visibly uncomfortable as his eyes met hers, it irritated Victoria as she could see he was not as relaxed as he had been this morning due to the poor company. The Duchess looked tired and worn, her face was pale as she offered a small smile before looking back to Lord Melbourne. Uncle Leopold sat quietly in a chair beside the Duchess, looking relatively calm and unphased. Not that it surprised Victoria.

''I hear you have been riding alone'' Leopold's voice was higher than Lord Melbourne's and the Duchess's as they spoke quietly together. It captured their attention.

''Yes, Windsor is perfectly safe, it is refreshing not to be followed about my guards all the time'' Victoria walked over to a spare seat and sat there beside the other three.

''Obviously not safe enough'' Leopold gestured towards Lord Melbourne with a sarcastic tone ''You are the Queen, you should not be putting yourself in danger''

''I was not, I remained in the grounds which is now heavily guarded upon my command. I did not stray far from the castle and as you can see I am perfectly well'' Victoria snapped at her Uncle. Unwilling to participate in such conversation now. ''Besides, I am not the one that got hurt''

''But your friend here did, and it may well be because of you'' Leopold's German accent echoed across the room, he spoke deeper to her, as if passing on a threat. It sent shivers up Victoria's spine.

''What do you mean?'' She asked as The Duchess nudged her brother, giving him a worrying glare. ''Why would I be responsible for what happened to Lord M?''

''You are the Queen, he is your Priminister, everybody knows how close you are, it does not take a genius to figure it out'' Leopold replied calmly before leaning back in his chair. ''Lord Melbourne got off light, if he hadn't of been so strong and healthy it could have been much worse''

Victoria looked over to Lord Melbourne who continued to look anywhere but at the King, his stature was stiff and unsettled, it upset her.  
''Lord M looks a little tired'' Victoria started ''Perhaps we should leave him to rest''

Lord Melbourne looked over to Victoria who merely glanced his way for a split second. The Duchess and the King looked at each other for a moment before nodding and rising slowly. Lord Melbourne tried to do the same.

''Please Lord Melbourne, do not trouble yourself'' The Duchess placed a delicate hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to stay seated. She smiled warmly to him before walking out of the room, followed by Leopold and Victoria.

Once out in the corridor Victoria glared at the pair of them. ''Lord M has been incredibly weak, he was not up to seeing visitors today, you could see that'' She snapped at the pair of them.

''We are concerned Victoria'' Leopold spoke up quickly ''We merely wished to see how he was getting on''

''How did you know?'' Victoria asked

They stayed quiet for a moment. ''A message came back from one of the members of staff, we would have preferred to hear it from you, but beggars cannot be choosers'' Leopold spat.

''Excuse me Drina, I have left something in Lord Melbourne's room'' The Duchess said quietly. Victoria looked over her, she looked unsettled, and was behaving out of character.

''When are you going back to Coburg?'' Victoria asked her Uncle as she folded her arms in front of her.  
''Very soon, I am beginning to grow tired of England'' Leopold admitted 

''I believe England is growing tired of you'' Victoria replied plainly

V&M

The Duchess walked back over towards Lord Melbourne, breathing a sigh of relief as he was still awake. ''I am terribly sorry Lord Melbourne, I wasn't given much choice but to bring my brother''

''Do not worry'' Lord Melbourne lied.

The Duchess played with her hands, anxiously looking around the room, trying to think of something to say.  
''I do not wish to discuss Albert with you at such a time'' She spoke quickly

''Do you know who is behind this?'' He asked plainly

The Duchess looked confused until Lord Melbourne gestured over his wounded body.

''No, goodness no! I know it is probably linked to Victoria, but I had no clue you were attacked, it may have just been bad luck'' She said slowly, trying to offer some form of condolence

''It was planned, and Victoria, was their next target'' He spoke coldly and quietly. I was threatened you see''

The Duchess stopped moving and sat down. ''I thought you said that you could not recall what happened?''

''I lied'' he replied plainly ''As to not attract attention'' 

The Duchess looked across the room towards the doors where behind her brother stood. ''My brother is not capable of this, he would cause nobody no harm'' She spoke confidently but did not take her eyes off those doors.

''I was told that if I did not leave Victoria's life then she would be targeted next. So, whoever is behind this has a motive to separate us''

''It may well be Chartists, or people holding a vendetta against you for the papers, you cannot link it directly to my brother'' She replied.

''The best place to hide is within a crowd'' Lord Melbourne replied quickly ''I am not pointing the finger at anybody until I have evidence''

''I do not want my daughter hurt, if it means she will remain safe then I wish for you to keep away'' The Duchess looked at Lord Melbourne.

''I cannot keep her safe if I am away, and I refuse to retire as Priminister until absolutely necessary, if I allow them to manipulate me now then they will continue to do so, I cannot combat that''

''Please, do not get yourself into danger'' The Duchess spoke softly ''Promise me that if Victoria's life comes into threat you will walk away, just to save her if nothing else?''

Lord Melbourne paused for a moment. ''I Promise''

 _ **Victoria loved her horses, she wrote a great deal of her love for them and often quoted sayings about them. I wanted to include this in the story line. So, now you know what happened. But who is behind it? Decisions Decisions! Please leave a review. Thanks for reading!**_


	22. Focus

**Focus**

''I do miss it a little bit''

''But somebody is looking after it''

''Its not the same though is it?''

''I am sure it is being looked after just fine''

''It is much harder to maintain than people think, if you do not know how to look after it correctly things can do seriously wrong''

Victoria smiled at him ''Its contents are very valuable, to you and to me but they are glasshouses Lord M'' she laughed.

''So, you wouldn't mind if I shut them and never picked any flowers for you again'' 

''I love those flowers, but honestly, if I still saw you it wouldn't matter''

He turned to her and smiled. 

The warm springs sunshine was a relief to his face as he slowly made his way down the gravel driveway beside Victoria. She had insisted he use a chair to be escorted about but being the stubborn politician he is, he simply refused.

Walking, being outside in the fresh clean air, lifted his spirits, the pain was still noticeable he couldn't deny it, but it was manageable, and Sir James had told him he needed to start walking about, to reduce the fluid that had built up around his wounds and encourage the swelling to dissipate. His concussion, thankfully had gone.

''Mama is behaving very odd don't you think?'' Victoria asked casually

''I hadn't noticed if im honest ma'am, she seemed ok yesterday'' 

''I still do not know why they came, they had no reason to'' Victoria said coldly ''They unsettled you, you hardly spoke all evening''

''I was simply tired ma'am, that is all''  
He hated lying to her, but he knew that if she knew the reasoning behind it she would go into overdrive mode, trying to take control before she was capable of doing so and thus putting herself in danger. It was killing him to sit and wait, but until he knew of the Kings plans there was not a lot he could do about it.

They reached the stables. Victoria's eyes clamped on the chestnut that she had decided to purchase. He stood in the stone yard, pulling at the manager filled with hay. Victoria saw Lord Melbourne stop and admire the animal, she smiled. ''He is beautiful isn't he'' Victoria watched Lord Melbourne's eyes scan over the horse, every inch of his body was pure muscle, he was much bigger than her horse back at the palace, and more switched on and alert.

''Are you sure he is safe enough ma'am?'' He asked cautiously

Victoria turned to him ''Yes!'' She said firmly ''Trust me, when I needed him to he was perfectly behaved, he just doesn't like the word slow''

''So my poor horse will struggle to keep up'' Lord Melbourne smiled as Victoria laughed before walking over to the chestnut. ''He is a fine specimen'' He admitted as he ran his hands over the horse.

V&M

Victoria looked down at the documents in front of her, reading and signing one she placed it on the pile she had already completed. ''I find it so difficult to focus sometimes'' She huffed as Lord Melbourne stamped a document and signed it on the other side of the small table. ''How are you so focused when your injured?''

''My brain is not injured, only my body. Recovering does little to stimulate the mind'' He murmured as he looked back at the next paper.

''Working cannot be the only thing that stimulates the mind'' Victoria regretted the words almost as soon as they left her mouth.

He paused, running the words over in his head, was she aware of what she just said? Sometimes her age shows, mostly when it comes to inexperience, such as matters of marriage, mistrust, certain papers she may find in her boxes. But he was sure she was more experienced then she was giving herself credit for.  
''No, perhaps not. But it is the only thing I am capable of at the moment'' He did not look up at her, Victoria watched him from over the table for a moment before glancing back down at her papers once more.

V&M

Victoria dabbed at the paper as the yellow paint rubbed into the page. The flowers coming through offered a burst of colour to the winter ridden grounds, the trees had not yet become green, the grass was still relatively dull and the sky, although sunshine did seep through on some days, stayed grey as spring crept its way into every corner of the land.

Being at Windsor inspired her to paint, it offered a solace inside her mind, something she would focus any negative or positive attention on without people watching over her shoulder the entire time.  
That was another thing, the privacy she received here was second to none, she very often found herself on her own, her mind had a chance to relay any events  
The boxes had been relatively easy but extremely tiresome in such circumstances. This was not how she had planned this trip, of course the company was the same, and the environment had not changed, she had slept with Lord Melbourne for 3 nights now, the staff respected their privacy and continued to be discreet about it. But it was not as enjoyable with Lord Melbourne being injured.

She had to consider him in all of this and found herself feeling very selfish when she didn't. It still troubled her why somebody would injure him in such a way.

V&M

The ally way was damp, water dripping from the roof tops echoed as they hit the stone floor, the sound bouncing off the walls either side of him. The street stunk, the damp, dirty smell of the city verbarated in this one small place.

He couldn't help but feel he had stooped lower than he had expected.

''Your late'' A deep, nasty voice caused him to look to his right, the shadows concealed the figure who spoke. Leopold stood quietly as he walked into the dim light cast by the moon above them.

''It is not always easy to leave the palace unnoticed'' He spoke confidently but couldn't help but feel intimidated by the much bigger and thicker man in front of him.

The bloke cracked his knuckles as he walked closer to the king, he held out his hand and kept his palm flat in front of him.

Leopold glanced over the bloke's face. His friend had chosen well.  
Grabbing a handful of notes out of his pocket he placed them in the bloke's hand. His fingers wrapped around the wad of cash before pulling it back and counting it carefully, occasionally looking up to observe Leopold's expression.

''I do not attack the people that pay me, unless they do something to offend me'' He smiled as he saw the King stiffen, clearly shaken by the mans presence. ''Have you seen him?'' He asked.

Leopold nodded ''He will survive, but is not in a good way, just as planned, you told him what I instructed you to say I assume'' He asked cautiously

The bloke stopped counting his cash and looked Leopold dead in the eye. ''Of course, however I cannot see it having much affect, he is still by her side is he not?''

''They are alone, she has nobody else at the moment. Things will be different when she returns''

''Hmph'' The bloke nodded his head slightly. ''What next'' He asked as he pushed the cash into his coat pocket.

''We wait, The Queen may have no choice but to submit when she returns to the palace, until then there is not much any of us can do'' Leopold made a move in the direction in which he came.

''Power hungry'' The man replied plainly

Leopold froze for a moment before turning around and facing him ''Im sorry?''

''Your power hungry'' He repeated clearly unphased by the Kings status in the world

''I merely want what is best for her'' He replied coldly

The bloke laughed ''Whatever makes you sleep at night'' He said before turning and walking down the ally once more.

Leopold stood frozen to the spot for a moment, before continuing his walk back to the palace.

V&M

''Today is our last day here, what do you wish to do ma'am?'' Lord Melbourne asked as he signed the last document from the dispatch boxes.

Victoria looked up as she took the paper out of his offered hand, glancing over it and signing it, placing it inside the box ready to be sent off. ''Whatever you feel like doing I suppose, I do not want to suggest something you are not up to doing'' She smiled as she grabbed her tea cup, placing it slowly to her lips and taking a sip of the hot liquid.

''I am feeling perfectly well ma'am'' He didn't sound overly convincing, sometimes the pain was impossible to ignore, however it was as Sir James had stated superficial and muscle damage so highly depended on what he did daily to flare the pain.

''Perhaps a walk later, we will have to leave relatively early to be at the palace for tea, you will stay for dinner will you not?'' Victoria asked, although it didn't sound much like a question.

''Of course,'' He said cheerfully, although he dreaded having to face the King.

''Who will look after you when you return to Dover house?'' Victoria said tentatively

''I will, amongst my staff when needed, I am not completely incapable'' He replied playfully

''I never suggested you were'' Victoria smiled and stood, she watched him slowly rise, she had previously insisted he did not need to rise whenever she did given his state of health, however he still did, it was almost as though it was programmed within him now despite their relationship. ''I just want things to return to normal'' She finally admitted as she walked over to him and grasped his hands.

He squeezed them tightly, enjoying the feel of her soft skin beneath his own. They had so many differences, yet where so compatible. ''What is normal ma'am?''

Victoria paused, thinking over the question before realising she did not know the answer.  
''Everything changes'' She finally replied ''But not always for the better''

He nodded slowly as he felt an air of sadness loom over them both.

V&M

''No'' She said very firmly ''You are doing no such thing''  
''Please, hear me out'' He tried to reason with her.

''What part of no do you not understand'' Victoria snapped a little to harshly

''I travelled here alone'' He replied exasperated

''You got attacked'' Victoria reminded him ''You are coming back to the palace anyway, why should you travel in your own carriage?''

''I must go back to Dover House, I have a few things I need to check on before coming to the palace''

''Fine, we will go there on the way''

''Your Majesty!'' He half shouted at her this time, aware they where standing in the hallways of the castle.

''I will hear no more on the matter Lord Melbourne, you are travelling with me and that is final'' Victoria quickly turned and walked off leaving a very frustrated Priminister alone in the hallway.

V&M 

''I wish to have extra guards on our journey back'' Victoria said calmly to Lord Alfred who was assisting in loading up the carriages.

''I have already insisted Your Majesty'' Lord Alfred replied politely.

Victoria looked outside as the carriages, all lined up where slowly being packed ready for their leaving. The daylight was still strong, the sun high in the cool sky, they would be back at the palace before darkness fell.

She saw one of the grooms of the stable yard on board the big chestnut horse she had decided to take back with her. A jolt of excitement ran through her as she made her way down the steps and caught the attention of the groom.  
''Look after him'' Victoria said from a distance as the horse fidgeted, keen to set off. ''I suspect you will be at the palace before us''

''Yes Your Majesty'' The groom replied shyly ''I can take the scenic route, he will be settled in the stables before you arrive''

Victoria smiled and nodded as she watched the horse set off down the drive.

V&M

''You should not argue with me so much'' Victoria spoke out in the silence and privacy of their carriage as It trundled down the roads heading towards the palace.

''May I ask why ma'am?'' Concern flooded through him, he sometimes forgot his placing, and even though Victoria continuously encouraged him to be easier going he knew there was a line he was unable to cross.  
''You never win'' She replied with a grin

He laughed a little, relishing in the way his insides didn't shudder at the sudden movement, a sign his body was beginning to regain its strength. ''Well then, I should stop trying''

''No, I like it'' Victoria replied quickly ''It gives me something to fight for'' 

And that was one of the many reasons why he was so deeply in love with her.

V&M

''I still think it was unnecessary, there are plenty of fine horses local to the palace, you did not have to go to Windsor to pick one'' The Duchess said from across the dinner table to her daughter.

''I rather like the idea of change mama'' Victoria replied before taking a mouthful of food somewhat delicately.

''Just so long as you do not get hurt'' The German accent echoed across the table and Victoria looked over to her Uncle who had conversed every now and then throughout the evening.

Victoria smiled and glanced over to Lord Melbourne, who remained quiet, strangely quiet, and uneased Victoria noticed.  
''We do not want you getting hurt Victoria'' Uncle Leopold continued ''Lord Melbourne was distressing enough'' He glanced at the Priminister and Victoria saw the two men within each other's gazes for a moment, something ran through her, she could not decipher it. But it wasn't nice.

V&M

Victoria looked over to Lord Melbourne occasionally as he sat quietly with his glass in hand. Lady Portman had sat with him for a while before leaving him alone as well. He did not converse much and to Victoria's worry he did not look at her, not once.

It was as though his entire presence had changed, something had unsettled him. Perhaps he was in pain, or tired after his journey.

''I will probably retire soon'' Victoria said out of the blue as she laid a card on the table. ''Travelling back has made me rather tired, I suspect you would like to retire as well Lord M'' Victoria looked over at the Priminister who continued to look into the fire place, unware his name had even been mentioned. ''Lord Melbourne'' Victoria spoke louder this time capturing the mans attention.

''Yes ma'am'' He turned and looked at Victoria along with her ladies.

''Perhaps I could have a word with you, in private?'' Victoria stood, her ladies stood to out of respect, before sitting back down and allowing the couple to leave the room.

''Tell me, what is wrong?'' Victoria looked concerned as she stood waiting patiently for him to reply

''Nothing ma'am, I am simply tired from the journey'' Lord Melbourne replied as he looked in both directions of the corridor.

''Perhaps you should retire here tonight, I can have a wing made up for you, I do not like the idea of you travelling home alone'' Victoria offered but he shook his head vehemently and she already knew he would never accept.

''I am rather looking forward to going back to Dover House'' He said almost to quickly.

Victoria was sure she looked as hurt as she felt then. But he did not try to explain his reasonings. Instead she simply nodded and said goodnight to him.

He did not kiss her hand, or wish her well, or say goodnight or goodbye. His manner had changed, and with a great deal of confusion Victoria watched him hastily walk towards his awaiting carriage.

V&M

''Listen to me, I am only going to say this once. I do not want Victoria hurt in ANY of this'' His voice was strong and firm.

''What if she gets in the way''

''If we keep going the way we are she will not be in the way, if the bloke has any sense at all he will back off and stay away from her''

''How far exactly do you want this to go?''

There was a pause, the silence in the darkened room became incredibly heavy.

''As far as it needs to go'' Came the reply.

 _ **Oh dear, trouble in paradise! Let me know what you think.**_


	23. Office Bound

**Office Bound**

 _ **Strong M rating for this one... if you don't like it don't read it… for the rest of you… enjoy!**_

Victoria signed off the final paper and laid it on the pile already completed within her dispatch boxes. She sighed deeply and looked out of the window from her seat. The sunshine was gorgeous but the air still cool as they neared the middle of spring.

Lord Melbourne had not attended the palace this morning. It worried her deeply, he left so abruptly last night, he was not his usual self.

Victoria's ladies had tried to console her, assuring her that after suffering such injuries he was bound to behave out of character, and that travelling would have tired him out greatly. But none of them had a reason as to his unexplained absence today. 

He always explained. Always. Even if it was something so minor she may not consider it a reason, he still gave her one. She had written to him this morning, stating that she hoped he was well rested and recovered from the journey, she had wanted to put so much into that letter, expressing her deepest emotions, reminding him of how much she cherished him, and… for some reason, to apologise. For what she didn't quite know. But the impulse was there, and it was hard to ignore.

Victoria stood and walked over to the large window, feeling the warmth of the sun seep through the glass. She needed to distract herself before the troop inspection. She was sure he would be here for that.

V&M 

''Melbourne'' A deep and familiar voice echoed in Lord Melbourne's ears as he looked up from his desk and over towards the door. There stood calmly in the room was The Duke of Wellington. ''I did not expect to see you in parliament so soon''

Lord Melbourne looked back down at his paperwork, trying hard not to sigh to loudly as he heard the footsteps come closer towards the desk. ''Yes, well, there is nothing better to aid recovery than a stimulated mind, besides, the pain is hardly noticeable at times'' He lied as he looked up at the Duke briefly before continuing with his work.

''I may be old, but I am not a fool'' The Dukes voice had changed, Lord Melbourne looked up once more as he searched his expression, watching him walk towards the seat placed opposite The Priminister's desk.  
''So, what happened?'' He pressed. 

Lord Melbourne placed his pen down, he was careful with his words around the Duke, he was after all a Tory, but, he shared a common likeness to Lord Melbourne, they both wanted The Queen to rule correctly, and honestly. Wellington had put his fellow members right when Melbourne had tried to retire, ensuring Victoria was not pressured into forming a government for the wrong reasons. Melbourne always looked at the Duke differently to the other party members.  
''I was ambushed, we were travelling to Windsor, I was alone, and the carriage was ambushed'' Melbourne replied matter of factly.

''But nothing was taken'' The Duke replied calmly

Melbourne looked over the Dukes expression, a mixture of annoyance and confusion ran through his already troubled mind. Truthfully, he was to tired to be smart or witty. ''Just luck I suppose''

''Well… no, not really. What would have been lucky is if the carriage, its possessions, and the people within it got out unharmed. But, out of the 4 people with you, and the cases and possessions you had. Nothing was taken and only you were hurt'' 

''Your point being?'' Melbourne asked stiffly

''You were the target'' The Duke replied quietly.

Melbourne's head shot up, looking over at the Duke who remained calm and collected before continuing ''If you are going to lie, at least make it believable, I am no detective, but it doesn't take much putting together''

Melbourne's face was set like stone, he had vastly under estimated how gossip can travel, and how people could use their brains when it suited them. ''I am The Priminister, I have surely made enemies in the past'' Melbourne considered

''Yet they waited until you where travelling to Windsor to meet The Queen before ambushing you. Forgive me when I say some things are not always as believable as you like to think Melbourne''

Melbourne gritted his teeth slightly ''What do you want me to say Duke? That I know I was a target, that it was a warning towards Her Majesty, why do you think I am keeping away?'' His voice raised slightly as irritation took over.

The Duke raised his eyebrows ''Keeping away from The Queen isn't going to make the problem disappear''

''I am sure it will ease the strain though. Victoria should have asked the Prince to marry her. Perhaps if she had the public would have been happier about it''

''I do not think that is the case, or the cause for that matter''

''No, but the two are most probably linked'' Melbourne replied

The Duke nodded in agreement ''You cannot avoid the palace forever, you still have a job to do''

''Of course'' Melbourne replied ''I do not intend to 'avoid' anything. I am merely giving the situation some space''

''And does Her Majesty know this?'' Asked The Duke

Melbourne remained quiet therefore answering the question.

''Melbourne'' The Duke paused ''If people are prepared to hurt you they are prepared to hurt The Queen''

The Priminister shook his head ''Her Majesty is the target, but not in a way that warrants her being hurt, just to be controlled'' He was careful with his words, again not wanting to give much away to the Tory member.

''People are capable of anything, especially when things do not go their way. Tread light Melbourne'' The Duke warned

''She is The Queen'' He replied confidently as he eyed the older man.

''Not to them she isn't'' The Duke replied quickly. 

The Priminister's face fell as he realised what The Duke was implying.

V&M

''He should be here, what if something has happened to him!'' Victoria almost shouted

''I am sure he is fine ma'am, he is probably working''

''He shouldn't be working'' Victoria said sharply ''He is still injured''

Emma sighed trying to calm Victoria with Harriett. ''Please ma'am, what if I write to my husband'' Emma offered ''To see if he is at the house?''

Victoria looked over to Emma then to Harriett as she pondered the offer ''I suppose it would save me some worry''

Emma smiled and bowed as she walked off leaving Victoria with Harriett.

''Try not to worry ma'am, I am sure Lord Melbourne is just fine'' Harriett smiled as she offered a seat for Victoria to sit down.

Victoria felt less than convinced.

V&M

Dinner was finished, everybody sat within company round the table drinking, engaging in conversation. Victoria had tried very hard to ignore the missing person at the table, as her mind was elsewhere engaging in conversation seemed dull and fruitless. She was to concerned and unsettled.

''Emma, have you heard back from your Husband?'' Victoria asked quietly in Emma's ear as the others continued to talk.

''Yes ma'am, Lord Melbourne is at the house, he has been doing paperwork most of the day, but I am told he is perfectly fine'' Emma smiled as she saw Victoria's face relax a little.

''Will he return with your husband this evening?'' Victoria asked

''I am sure he will ma'am'' Emma smiled without a hint of doubt, it reassured Victoria enough to start enjoying the company around her, knowing that Lord Melbourne would be here soon.

The evening dragged on, drink was consumed, the hours clicked by, it was getting late. Neither Lord Melbourne nor Lady Portman's Husband had turned up yet. Concern began to crowd Victoria's mind along with the sherry she had drunk.

As if on queue in walked Lady Portman's husband who immediately walked over to his wife. Victoria waited a minute, but Lord Melbourne did not enter. She stood and walked over to the couple.  
''Where is Lord Melbourne?'' Victoria calmly asked Emma's husband

''He is still out the house Your Majesty, he is rather busy'' He replied cautiously as he saw Victoria's face change. 

''Emma please prepare your carriage, I wish to go to the house''

Emma's husband looked shocked at his wife as Victoria walked out of the room and towards her chambers, her step was determined as anger surged through her veins, he had no reason not to write to her or tell her why he was unable to attend.

Victoria found herself wishing back to Windsor, this entire environment changed their relationship, even their working one. But above anything else Victoria was The Queen, he should inform her of his absence out of respect.

She was beginning to find the balancing act a little to difficult.

''You do not need to keep running after him you know'' The German accent sent Victoria's anger into blind fury

''And what makes you say that… Uncle'' Victoria snapped as she turned to face her Uncle, who remained calm and almost smug.

''People talk, you are dependant on that man. He is working, and yet you feel the need to go chasing after him all the time, you run after your past my dear, the future is waiting and yet you refuse to move forwards, why is that?'' He asked, sipping his brandy.

''Forgive me Uncle but you seem to be forgetting yourself. I will marry when the correct man comes along, and not a moment sooner'' She turned to leave

''But that person will not come along, because nobody can compare to your beloved Priminister''

Victoria turned quickly ''I dismissed Sir John because all he was worried about was getting my mother into power, he tried to manipulate me, scheme things together, to over power me. But it didn't work, I always found out and will continue to do so. So, Uncle… I would seriously consider the way you speak to me, otherwise you will be joining Sir John'' Victoria did not shout, but her words where sharp and loud, stinging like a hornet against his hard exterior. She kept her face still, ignoring her pounding heart as she noticed her Uncle back down a little. 

Victoria eyed The Duchess creeping up behind her brother. ''Talk to mama'' Victoria said as she turned to walk off ''I am sure your conversations are rarely so interesting'' She shouted as she turned the corner to the next corridor.

V&M

The house was nearly deserted when Victoria arrived. Two carriages stood waiting. One of which a Whig hopped in and was taken away. Victoria assumed the other carriage was Lord Melbourne's, although she noticed it was not his usual carriage.

The corridors where well lit but silent, there where no voices, or footsteps other than her own. She looked at the walls at the paintings against the candle light as she headed up the corridor, in search of his office.

Finally, she found it, the room was bright, and the door was adjar. Victoria hovered there for a moment, the silence resuming in the corridor as her footsteps had stilled. Lord Melbourne was leant over his desk, writing something out. His shirt undone slightly and his jacket off, hanging over the back of the chair.

''Whoever you are, hovering at the door of a silent corridor is very foolish'' His voice was raw and harsh, not his usual polite self, it was etched with stress.

Victoria took a deep breath as she walked in. As he saw her face he stood almost to quickly from his chair, grasping his desk for support as he rose. ''Your Majesty'' His voice was back to normal, polite and eased. ''What do I owe the pleasure'' He asked cautiously.

Victoria shut the door behind her before turning and walking towards him.

''Your very different when you're here'' She said quickly ''Why is that?''

''Stress I assume ma'am'' He replied honestly

Victoria walked closer towards him ''Why have you been avoiding the palace?'' She asked quickly

''I have not been avoiding the palace, I am catching up on work ma'am'' 

''What about my boxes, did you not think to assist me today?'' She said coldly

''I am sure you managed just fine on your own'' He leant on the desk opposite her, she did not sit in the offered chair.

''What have I done? You are not yourself, I must have offended you, I would like to know why'' Victoria said sternly

''You have done no such thing'' He replied

''So what is the matter?'' Victoria said.

He looked into her eyes, seeing the fustration she held there. She would never understand the full effect she had on him, how everything changed when she was around. It was late, he was tired. He did not wish to talk anymore. 

''I demand an explanation'' Victoria said once again.

He would not ask for permission, they were beyond that point now. But he always ensured she understood his advances, and to expect any physical contact. But his tired body and whirling mind seemed to cloud his judgement, and the incentive to surprise her proved to tempting to ignore.

His eyebrows lifted, and a smile quirked on his lips, within seconds he had hold of her, turning her around and pushing her against his wooden desk. He sealed her mouth in a kiss, revelling in her surprised squeal as he forced all his fustration and worries into her.

His body sung to her advances as she began to respond pulling him closer as she parted her legs allowing him to step into her frame. He pulled her bottom lip between his teeth, biting it gently eliciting a gasp from her mouth.

''Do you have anybody with you?'' He asked breathlessly as he broke from her lips.

Victoria shook her head quickly, grasping his shoulders as he sat her on his desk of completed paperwork.

''Thank god'' he muttered as he pulled her lips in again, running his hands down her back before gripping her waist and pulling it closer towards his own. His groin began to stir, as all the delicious thoughts and feelings sunk through his mind. He could taste the sweet tinge of sherry on her lips as he broke free from her mouth and began to kiss down her jaw and across her neck up to her ear lobe.

Victoria sensed his urgency and came back at it with her own desperation, she had wanted nothing more than his intimate company for the entire trip at Windsor, and although she enjoyed his usual company this took her emotions for him to another level.

Her hand confidently rubbed over his crotch, sighing as she felt the hardness there and pressed on it. He pushed his hips into her hands enjoying the friction she was creating.

He wanted her, here and now, it was not conventional nor private, but he didn't care, she was not a Queen like this, but a very desirable young woman and the house was after all, empty.

He felt her undo the buttons and zip of his trousers, her hand reaching in to feel him through his underwear before slipping beneath that to.

He moaned and nipped at her ear lobe as she rubbed his erection within the confines of his trousers, her hand was gentle as she felt his length, working him as best she could. He thrust his hips into her hand enjoying the feel it offered him.

Victoria felt a surge of control as she saw him like this, at mercy to whatever she wanted to do. Her hand pulled his trousers down along with his cotton underwear, leaving nothing to hide, her eyes sparkled at the sight of him, she wrapped her hand around his cock, deftly working his length and listening carefully to his moans of pleasure, learning what he liked the most.

She placed a delicate kiss to his exposed neck, free from his cravat as she felt his hands slip over her body, pressing firmly against the confines of her corset.

Her thoughts began to run away with her. What did he taste like? Did women do that? She wanted to find out.  
''What else can I do, to please you?'' She asked quietly, his eyes opened and looked down at her, a smiling forming on his lips.

''There are many things, but as A Queen I cannot let you do them'' His voice was low and husky, it made Victoria shiver as she tried to ignore the throbbing between her legs.

''I am a woman, as well as a Queen, and I want to''

''Perhaps another time'' He said slowly, closing his eyes as he nuzzled her neck, sucking on a particular sweet spot he often found there. Victoria moaned as she worked him harder, feeling his hips move in time to her hands.

Her curiosity was killing her. And, despite the nerves fluttering in her stomach she was sure she would like anything he liked, he had spent many nights pleasuring her, ignoring his own desires, and with growing experience Victoria wanted to be a good partner, one that gave love as well as receiving it, but with experience comes confidence, and that was what she was lacking.

He pulled away from her touch, snapping her out of her imagination. ''What is the matter?'' She asked tentatively.

''Nothing'' He said quickly ''Nothing at all'' He pulled her towards the wall, turning her round to pin her against it.

She felt his hardness against her fabrics, which where far to dense for her liking. ''Undress me''  
Victoria said quickly and tried to turn around.

''I cannot, not completely'' Lord Melbourne replied regretfully

But, as she asked he began to unbutton the large dress, it slipped from her arms to the floor, leaving Victoria in her corset, petticoat and chemise.  
He slipped off the Petticoat and his hands rucked up the fabric remaining, running up her bare thighs before settling between her legs.

He moaned as he felt her wetness, his finger slipped inside her with such ease, he groaned as he felt her body clench around his hand, working on her clit with his thumb. Her body was already tight like a spring just waiting to be sprung. He found he did not want to bring her to her peak yet.

He pulled his hand away, Victoria's eyes snapped open as she felt him lift her leg up to lay it over his hip. He braced himself against the wall as he slowly entered her.

He groaned deeply against her collar bone as Victoria sighed and moaned his name, he wasted no time in moving, thrusting into her and hitting that sweet spot he so often found.

She began to moan louder, calling his name stronger in his ear, meeting his thrusts harder with as much force as he was giving to her, it was a different kind of love, one of force and desperation, but she loved it, it set a fire within her as she felt everything come crashing down.

He covered her mouth as she cried into his hand, her body slowly relaxing against the wall as he to stilled inside her.  
He lowered his hand as they continued to pant against each other, feeling the warmth they shared.

He lowered her leg down, splitting from her and taking a few steps back after dressing himself again.

''That, is why I kept away from the palace today'' he said sarcastically but laughed when she grinned in return. 

_**This was hard... its been sitting in my files for nearly 2 weeks now as I continuously tampered with it. I couldn't bear to write any lies as I know what is to come, and that's not the 'character' that we fell in love with on the screen. But he didn't answer her question… he just distracted her (admittedly in the best possible way but still) He is half running away from this… from being honest with her. Will it pay off though? Thanks for reading.**_


	24. Who To Trust

**Who To Trust**

''This is getting out of hand now'' The Duchess walked into her brother's room ''I do not want Drina to be forced into marriage, she understands the importance but is still young, there is still time''

''Calm down sister, we are not going to harm her, merely steer her in the right direction'' Leopold was calm and remained seated, watching his sister pace the room in mild panic.

''Good for who exactly? Drina?'' The Duchess snapped ''Or for us?'' She paused ''I want to protect her, she is smart enough to make the right choices''

''If she is so smart why does she go chasing after her Priminister all the time?'' Leopold said sharply ''He was away for a day sister, a day! And she took an unmarked carriage alone to The House to 'see if he was ok' She is doing herself no favours''

''Lord Melbourne suffered serious injuries, of course she would be worried about him, he is her friend'' The Duchess said in defence.

''He is more than a friend and you know it. We cannot sit around and wait for some half witted attempt at a public announcement stating The Queen is going to marry her Priminister, which I would not rule out at the moment, if she is put into an arranged marriage and Lord Melbourne is put out of the picture then her role as Queen will be much easier''

''In your opinion'' The Duchess said coldly ''And what do you mean Lord Melbourne being put out of the picture?''

''He is a distraction to her, she needs to be solely focused on marriage''

''He is The Priminister, and until he retires he will be around, even you cannot change that''

Leopold did not reply but merely raised his eyebrows at his sister's very worried expression.

''Did you have something to do with the attack?'' The Duchess asked sharply

''What! No, don't be absurd!'' Leopold snapped ''I am not capable of that, and I am shocked to know you think that of me'' 

''To begin with I thought Albert was the right man for Drina, that he could make her happy, but now I do not. I cannot give my blessing on this''

''And what do you suppose we do then, leave Victoria to keep chasing after Lord Melbourne until she causes some huge outcry and brings shame to the palace?''

The Duchess did not reply.

''I didn't think so. We will get Victoria over to Coburg and arrange the marriage there''

''When do you intend to do this?'' The Duchess asked coldly

''As soon as possible'' He replied.

The Duchess turned around and walked back out.

V&M

''You seem much better'' Victoria commented on Lord Melbourne's stance as he walked beside her down the corridor.

''I feel much better, Sir James says I have made a good recovery'' He smiled as he continued to look forward.

''Do you remember what happened?'' Victoria asked this question cautiously, she had not asked him properly yet. It all seemed to fresh.

He paused, thinking of what to say. Yes, he knew what happened, every single detail of that awful night, but more importantly, the threats, ones that he was to this moment ignoring. But how could he tell her that he was attacked because of the connection he had with her, how would she react to that? Not only that, he still did not know who was behind it, although he had his suspicions.  
''Not entirely ma'am, perhaps it will come back with time'' He replied finally.

''It took a while for you to say that, are you sure?'' Victoria looked over him, he did not look back at her.

''I am quite sure ma'am, how does one explain that only sections of the attack are rememberable, but all the important details are still a blur''

''Just like that'' Victoria said sarcastically

''Excuse me Your Majesty'' Lord Alfred stopped the couple in their tracks ''Your dispatch boxes are here''

Victoria smiled and nodded ''Thank you Lord Alfred'' She looked over to Lord Melbourne ''Shall we?''

''Actually Sir, you have a visitor'' Lord Alfred looked to Lord Melbourne who looked equally surprised as Victoria.

''Excuse me ma'am'' Lord Melbourne bowed politely and followed Lord Alfred down the corridor. Victoria stood for a moment slightly perplexed, before walking towards her chambers.

''Can I ask who is waiting for me?'' Lord Melbourne said politely to Lord Alfred.

Lord Alfred looked behind him, as though to check nobody was following. ''It is not so much a visitor sir, but I was given strict instructions not to reveal their identity in front of The Queen'' He spoke quietly as they continued to walk

Who has that kind of power? One person sprung to mind, and it was not somebody he wanted to see.

Lord Alfred stopped at the double doors to an unused room in the palace. He stood beside the door as Lord Melbourne entered the room.

To his relief he saw The Duchess standing anxiously waiting.

''I am sorry Lord Melbourne, but I had to speak with you''

''Not at all ma'am, please…'' He offered The Duchess a seat before seating himself. ''What can I do for you?'' 

''I tried to convince my brother not to arrange a marriage between Victoria and Albert, that they where not right for each other and deserve better, but he would not listen, he wishes to take Victoria to Coburg as soon as possible and sort the rest over there''

Lord Melbourne sighed ''Did he say when exactly?''

''No'' The Duchess said sadly, ''I do not want this for her Lord Melbourne, she deserves better, I do not know the form of relationship you have with her, and I no doubt do not agree with half of the things Drina does with and for you. But I know you would not hurt her''

Lord Melbourne nodded slowly, unsure of what to say ''I cannot do much without informing The Queen, she is likely to go with The King if he asks and she has little knowledge of the situation''

The Duchess shook her head. ''No, no I do not want Drina knowing yet, she will over react, and will probably cause a public argument. I wish for her to stay as she Is for now''

''With all due respect Duchess she will have to know eventually, the longer it is kept from her the worse she will react''

''I understand that Lord Melbourne however I do not know the lengths my brother will go to in order to get what he wants''

''What do you mean?'' Lord Melbourne asked cautiously

''He denies what happened to you to be linked, however I am not so sure anymore, I regret inviting him. I fear he may target Victoria if she protests to much. I cannot prove he is behind any of this, he covers his tracks to well''

''I have my suspicions, but I was told if I did not keep away from The Queen then much worse would happen, that I may not be so lucky the next time, and then they half threatened to target her. Perhaps I should keep away''

''The closer you are to the palace the safer you will be, they cannot get in here to attack you, and extra guards can be put on Dover House if required, they certainly will not be able to target Victoria, you are the only one that Drina properly trusts, I need to know you will guide her when needed as she will not listen to me''

Lord Melbourne sat quietly for a moment before nodding. ''I will try my very best ma'am''

V&M

''Goodness this is taking forever!'' Victoria scrolled down the paperwork on the desk before her, pages and pages of the stuff, hardly any of it she understood.

The doors opened and in walked Lord Melbourne ''I am sorry ma'am, am I disturbing you?''

''No!'' Victoria smiled ''Not at all, these are documents from Afghanistan and its almost a foreign language, I do not understand any of it''

Lord Melbourne walked over towards her, leaning over her shoulder he scrolled through the paperwork before picking it up and taking it to his usual spot. ''I wasn't expecting this till tomorrow that's why, had I of known I would have come with you''

''Who was waiting for you anyway?'' Victoria asked the question as casually as she could despite the part of her itching to know.

''It… was the… Duchess'' He said finally.

''Mama?! What did she want?'' Victoria said surprised

''She wanted to discuss security on the palace, to ensure it was good enough given the attack'' He continued to read, aware that The Queen was not buying it. ''I have been meaning to ask you about some foreign trips… how do you feel about that?''

''I wouldn't mind a change of scenery, why?'' She asked cautiously still mulling over the meeting he had with her mother.

''I think at this current time it would be better not to leave England. Purely because of the Chartists, we do not wish to draw attention to the crown by causing rumours''

''What if it was important?'' Victoria asked.

''If its that important you can discuss it with me'' He looked up from his papers and smiled ''That is if you want to''

''I discuss everything with you Lord M, a trip would be no different''

The Priminister smiled, feeling thankful he had bought them a little time.

Victoria looked over to him. His face was healing now, the cut on his lip had almost gone, the stiches had come out leaving a healed cut which each day seemed a little less red... the bruises were almost gone to. He looked himself again.  
Of course, the wounds on his stomach where more severe and probably looked bad still… she was sure they would scar.

''What is it?'' Lord Melbourne said with a smile

Victoria suddenly realised she was staring at him. ''Oh… nothing… just deep in thought that's all!''

''Good ones I hope'' He said with a smirk as he continued with his paper work.

V&M

The Duchess walked into her daughter's chambers, to see her dresser doing her hair ready for the regiments inspection.  
''Drina, I was hoping to have a word, perhaps in private?'' She spoke hesitantly

Victoria noticed her mothers uncertainty in the mirror, something was bothering her. Remembering what Lord Melbourne had told her she dismissed her dresser, leaving the two together.

''What is the matter mama?''

''I am concerned about you going out to public engagements, there are people out there prepared to hurt you im sure of it''

Victoria went to say something nasty, to remind her mother that she had never been there for her before so why anything had changed now. But she did not see that side of her now, all she saw was a very concerned woman. ''I will be quite safe mama, the guards are ready, and I will have Lord Melbourne by my side''

''Poor Lord Melbourne was attacked Drina, he was a standing target probably aimed at you'' The Duchess placed a hand over Victoria's cheek ''I want to protect you. To keep you safe''

''I am perfectly safe mama I can assure you''

Tears welled in The Duchesses eyes, but she did not let them fall. Instead she offered a small smile. ''I shall let you finish getting ready'' And stood to leave.

Victoria remained seated for a moment, thinking over what her mother had said. Even as Mrs Skerrett finished her hair she could not help but think her mother was hiding something, in a bid to protect her from danger perhaps. Victoria had not looked at Lord Melbourne's attack as a threat to her, perhaps she should have done. Her mind whirled with questions.  
''Ma'am?'' Mrs Skerrett's voice struck her out of her thoughts.

Victoria smiled and nodded at the dresser who placed her hat on her head.

V&M

Lord Melbourne could not help but admire The Queen in ways he should not. Her body was beautiful, with or without clothes. The dress hugged her hips tightly, outlining the curves of her waist before flowing out and down to the ground. Her entire body was concealed, but in an alluring type of way. He smiled to himself as his eyes travelled down her back, there where benefits to walking behind The Queen sometimes. He was sure she knew he was staring, but then she was probably enjoying it. 

As they reached the guards, waiting beside the main doorway of The Palace Lord Melbourne snapped back in to professional mode, walking up so he was slightly behind Victoria but allowing the guards to walk behind, in front and to the side of them both. The Duchess had most definitely ensured they where protected.

As they reached the stables Lord Melbourne stopped. ''Oh No! No, Your Majesty, please tell me your not''

Victoria turned and looked at his shocked face ''He will be fine Lord M'' She smiled reassuringly as she walked over to the large horse she had bought back from Windsor.

He was clearly very unsettled by the noise of the public and troops awaiting inspection. The grooms struggled to hold him as he circled around them, almost knocking them over with his shoulder. Victoria walked up to the large horse, placing a delicate hand on the reins in a bid to still him.

As she was mounted he mounted his, thankfully very quiet horse and the two began their trip round to the troops.  
''He is fine when he gets going, I feel perfectly safe'' Victoria said with a smile.

''You do not look very safe, he has probably never seen anything like this before ma'am, so be careful with him''

''Nonsense Lord M, he was formally a carriage horse, he has seen far worse than this im sure''

The Priminister sighed, feeling the dread in the pit of his stomach.

As they reached the large opening the two stood, side by side in front of the troops. To Lord Melbourne's surprise the large horse stood perfectly still beside his own mount, facing the troops head on without a hint of anxiety.

Victoria turned to her partner and smiled, the smugness could be wiped off her face it was that thick.

As the troops continued to perform Victoria watched over the crowds, the public clapped and cheered both at her and at the troops. The noise was a welcomed and positive change.

''You are very attractive in that riding outfit'' Lord Melbourne leant over and spoke quietly into Victoria's ear. Victoria did not turn away from the troops but merely smiled and said.

''I may keep it on this afternoon'' Again only speaking loud enough for him to hear.

Uncle Leopold sat watching the pair beside his sister, anger surged through him.

As the troops stopped everything went quiet. Everybody admired the sight before them as Victoria raised her hand to her head, holding it there and smiling as the troops welcomed her inspection and approval.

But the silence was broken. ''Shame on her Majesty, you must marry'' The words rung in Victoria's ear from the crowds, her eyes glanced over to Lord Melbourne who looked equally concerned. 

Within seconds a gunshot was fired. The crowds panicked and began to scream and run. Victoria's horse reared up, much to high for her liking, as it landed she desperately tried to soothe him, before he reared again. 

''Come on'' Lord Melbourne shouted as another gun shot was fired. Kicking his horse he headed towards the large entrance in which they came. Victoria's horse happily followed taking hold of the reins and bolting past Lord Melbourne, heading for the large open field beside the woodland tracks.

Victoria tried desperately to pull him up, but it was as if his mouth was made of stone, she pulled hard, leaning backwards and shouting at him to slow down. The horse was running in near blind panic, Victoria was sure she would have to bail out.

She turned her head slightly to see Lord Melbourne behind her on his mount, he looked in control as he pushed his own to try and catch up with the chestnut.  
Victoria saw the open space, grabbing the reins tight once more she pulled with every ounce of strength left in her body to turn the horse.

As the horse began to turn his pace slowed to balance himself. Victoria realised what she had to do.

Lord Melbourne stopped as Victoria circled her mount. The circles where large at first as Lord Melbourne became the centre of it. But he could see the horse beginning to slow and calm as the circles became smaller and smaller.

The crowds could no longer be heard, no more gunshots had been fired. As the tranquillity of the environment returned everything began to settle.

Victoria finally lulled her horse into a relaxed canter, keeping him going for a few laps to ensure he was listening to her before bringing him back down to a trot and finally stopping.

She gasped for air as did her horse, foam forming under the breastplate and saddle.

Lord Melbourne walked over to her as she sat there panting.  
''Are you alright ma'am, quickly hop off now''

Victoria shook her head ''I will do no such thing'' She panted as she turned and allowed her horse to walk back to the palace. Lord Melbourne followed. 

''You handled him well ma'am, most people would have jumped off''

''He only did what his instinct told him to do, he didn't do it out of malice'' Her cheeks where pink from the chilly spring air hitting them at speed. Her hair ruffled and her dress askew slightly.

''You will not hear a bad word about an animal will you'' He said with a smile. His heart rate had slowed again, rushing after her he was unsure of the outcome, it could have been so much worse.

V&M

''I want to know exactly who fired that gun. Not once but twice!'' Victoria said firmly to her guards. The Duchess sat quietly in the room close to Lord Melbourne. Victoria had yet to speak to them.

''Was anybody hurt?'' Lord Melbourne asked the guards who both shook their heads.

''Nobody was hurt sir, the guns must have been fired into the air, probably to cause a scene''

''A scene in which they told me to marry. Somebody has a vendetta against me, and I want to know exactly who it is''

''That may be difficult ma'am, after all it would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack, they where hidden in the crowd''

''Well we need to flush them out'' Victoria said as she stood and walked over towards Lord Melbourne and her mother.

''How do you propose we do that?'' Melbourne regretted the question almost as soon as It was asked.

''We replicate the scene again, create a crowd, make it official. and then keep watch for any strange behaviour''

''No Drina, you cannot! It is to dangerous'' The Duchess spoke up in panic

''I agree Your Majesty, it's too risky, they have a gun now, they are clearly capable of using it'' Lord Melbourne stepped in.

''All the more reason to flush them out'' Victoria said ''Its final, we will do it within the next 3 days, I will hear no more on the matter, the point remains that someone out there has something against me, and are willing to put other peoples lives at risk to prove a point. They are a danger to my people, I want them caught and dealt with'' Victoria turned to the guards ''I also want to double the security on the palace'' 

She looked so calm and controlled about it. And with that determination she walked with the guards out of the room.

''Lord Melbourne, you cannot allow her to do this'' The Duchess said desperately

''No I cannot. It is out of the question'' He replied firmly.

 _ **Oh dear, so somebody is causing some trouble… let me know what you think will happen. I love to hear how the story relays in other people's minds. Thanks for reading**_ __


	25. Incentive

**Incentive**

''Do you think Vickie's decision is smart or stupid?''

''A bit of both I believe, after all she has made risky decisions in the past, they have always paid off, perhaps not in a conventional way, but they have the desired affect''

''But never to this degree'' Harriett replied

''You know, im not entirely convinced the last few weeks have been a chance of events'' Emma said to her ladies.

''What do you mean?''

''Well, the chartists are not targeting the Monarch for political reasons are they, their protests have always, in whatever country, been linked to big decisions that affect the public. So why are they only targeting Victoria's personal life'' Emma replied

''How do they even know'' Harriet agreed.

''The papers wouldn't help matters, but some of the protests or claimed attacks have been linked at situations only we would have known about''

''What, so you think somebody is feeding them information?'' Harriet asked, shocked.

Emma nodded ''Perhaps I should have a talk with William, he told me Victoria was adamant at doing this''

''She could get herself killed''

''Lord Melbourne is going with her'' Emma said quietly as she shared the same look with Harriett.

''Is Victoria even the target?''

''Exactly'' Emma replied quickly ''I warned William, I said he was playing with fire''

''We have not exactly helped the situation'' Harriet said with a slightly sheepish tone ''We could have forbidden it, or made it clear on Lord Melbourne's place''

''This is Vickie we are talking about, nobody can forbid anything to her'' Emma smiled ''Besides, I do not see the huge harm in it all, especially when they are in private'' 

''They do not know how to be discreet though, their presence together is hard to ignore'' Harriett placed down her tea cup and sat back in her chair. 

Emma nodded in agreement ''Yet I have not seen William this happy, not in years. She has certainly breathed new life into him''

''The problem is it clouds his judgement sometimes, his concern for her, and the way she takes him off alone its draws attention to them''

''When would they get to speak in private, or enjoy each other's company if they did not do that though?'' Emma found herself walking the line a little. 

''It makes you happy, to see him happy'' Harriett said smiling.

''William is one of my closest friends, he has been through so much, and I remember him telling me he did not wish to be priminister anymore, before meeting Vickie he called it tiresome. He never mentioned it again and has done nothing but show his old self again, the person I met all those years ago. The job hasn't done that. Unfortunately, the things we love the most very often hurt us the most''

''The attack'' Harriet said quietly

Emma had confided in her friend about Melbourne's dreadful night. The details and threats. She wanted to tell Harriett, she needed somebody to discuss it with, to share concerns and express her worries. Harriett had not told anybody else. Emma trusted her.

''I think the trap is set for William, and Victoria is just the bait''

''Go and tell him. He may already know'' Harriett said

''Oh he knows, and what worries me is he doesn't care, all he is worried about is keeping Victoria safe''

V&M

Victoria walked into the room. Her gown dragged on the floor slightly as the dress hugged her corset bound curves and clung to her arms. The deep blue combined with a silver necklace and hem topped off with a delicate tiara in her hair, which was braided and done up beautifully intertwined with a white ribbon.

''Victoria, you may be short in height but your beauty more than makes up for it'' Uncle Leopold smiled slyly as he held out his arms to her. Victoria offered one hand and to her surprise he kissed it and bowed.

''I am off out shortly Uncle and must coincide with my guards and Lord Melbourne before doing so, can we make this quick'' Victoria was stiff and ridged towards him.

''What happened to us Victoria, we used to be so close''

Victoria did not know whether to take him seriously or not but seeing as he asked she felt the need to be truthful to him. ''You made your intentions very clear when Albert was here, it has changed my perspective of you somewhat''

The King looked taken back by her words ''I am terribly sorry to hear this, if I was forceful it was only within your best interests'' He smiled.

''Perhaps you do not know what is within my best interests''

''Forgive me Victoria but you know I am more educated in these matters than you''

''Maybe, but I will decide who to marry and when to marry. Nobody can tell me otherwise'' She said sternly to him. Finishing the topic quickly ''What do you wish to talk to me about''

''I would like you to come to Coburg with me'' Leopold said smiling ''I think it is high time you saw my country''

''I am very busy here, I do not think it is wise to leave the palace at such a time'' Victoria said carefully

The King could see her hesitancy and acted upon it. ''Think of it as a holiday, perhaps the palace would benefit from some breathing space, the chartists may settle and move on''

''Perhaps'' Victoria said ''I shall discuss it with Lord Melbourne, and see what he thinks''

The King's face fell ''Why must you ask him? Surely as Queen you can do what you wish''

''Of course, but I value his opinion'' Victoria said sternly ''I shall talk to him about it later this afternoon''

The King smiled at Victoria as she turned and walked out of the room. Gritting his teeth as he watched her leave.

V&M

Victoria walked into the room, her heels tapping on the stone floor before muffling into a mere thud on the rug. She saw Lord Melbourne turn to face her. He smiled as his eyes scanned over her. Certain aspects of this relationship they had he treasured, the fear of being caught both terrified and excited him. The secrecy of it prevented things from being predictable and boring, and the tiny detail that she was the Queen, that her status and importance made him feel as though he was special, to be chosen in such a way for her.

However, there were downsides, she was an extremely attractive and desirable young woman, at certain times he wanted to close the door, to give them both privacy, and to do with her what they wished, when they wanted. He wanted to admire her without the fear of judgement, to go places with her and be accepted as the person he was. He did not want power, or a status, he simply wanted to freedom to love her, and not have to hide it.

''What is it?'' Victoria said smiling at him

He smiled and kissed her hand, holding his lips to her skin for much longer than she was used to. ''I am simply admiring you ma'am'' He said finally as he stood again.

Victoria smiled. ''I am glad I can please you Lord M''

''You continuously please me ma'am, not a single day goes by where you do not''

Victoria turned and walked towards the opened double doors, closing them both quickly and quietly, giving them both some privacy. She walked back over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and neck she felt his firm grip slip round her waist, pulling her body closer into his frame. He looked down at her, her cheeks the perfect shade of pink, her skin almost flawless.

''We must be more careful ma'am'' He said quietly, his eyes looking over to the doors which remained closed. ''You cannot risk another exposure story''

''Sometimes I do not think it would be such a bad thing, it would give us both freedom and security''

He smiled at her as she shared his thoughts.

''Now tell me, what is it about this dress that you love so much'' She watched him look down her body, as far as his eyes would allow given their proximity

''Why do you ask such a question ma'am?''

''Because I like to see you this way, to really look at me'' Victoria admitted.

''It doesn't matter what you wear ma'am, you always look beautiful. A vison, from heaven above… if such a place exists''

Victoria swatted his arm playfully before stepping out of his frame. ''I have ordered extra guards today, they will surround the carriage and will be armed and ready''

Melbourne nodded. Back to business ''I really must express my concerns ma'am, I do not think this is a good idea.

''But it is the only way to find out who is behind this'' Victoria said sternly ''Please, just trust me Lord M''

''I do, I just don't trust the public at the moment''

Victoria looked over him, an expression of concern crossed his face.

''Uncle Leopold invited me to Coburg earlier'' Victoria said as she walked to look out of the window

Lord Melbourne's face dropped ''What did you say?'' He asked, as panic rushed through him. Trying to remain calm.

''I said I would discuss it with you, I didn't want to agree to anything before asking you first, given the events of the last few weeks''

He sighed inwardly as he watched Victoria sit down allowing him to sit beside her. ''I do not think it is wise that you leave the country at a time like this ma'am, we do not know the reasons behind these attacks''

Victoria nodded ''That is what I said, but Uncle told me that it may do the palace some good, and divert the attention elsewhere''

''Or target you further, people do not always think the same way, rumours can quickly get out of hand, a simple visit to Coburg could be misconstrued as running away''

Victoria hadn't thought of it that way.

''What where the reasons behind the invite ma'am''

''I think it was just an informal visiting type of invite, nothing of importance lies there, he just wanted me to visit the country''

Melbourne had expected some witty excuse, something to encourage Victoria to go, but this was having the same affect. ''I cannot stop you from going ma'am, I can hold up here, but I would strongly advise against it, leaving the country could endanger you further, you will not have control in someone else's land''

Victoria looked over to him, his words of warning encouraged her to agree, something told her the King was not being genuine, his actions over the last few weeks had ruined her trust within him, and a part of her refused to ignore that. ''I will give it some thought'' She said finally.

V&M

''What did she say?'' The Duchess asked quickly as her brother filled her in on their conversation.

''No definite answer, but I think she will attend, the offer to see something new and exciting endeared her, I could see that''

The Duchess remained quiet as she sipped her drink.

V&M

The open carriage trundled along the track, Victoria waved to her public, many people chanting her name, smiling and waving back. The sun was warm, soaking into the darker colours of her dress and bonnet. Victoria glanced over to Lord Melbourne who remained stiff and professional, looking both sides of the carriage for anybody who looked slightly out of place.

They nearly reached the end of their trip, the crowds had slacked off, only a few people here and there where waiting. The guards still covered the carriage from every direction. But nothing had come about. Victoria began to relax.

''Calm down Lord M, clearly nothing is going to happen'' She smiled at the Priminister who refused to give, to many things flooded his mind at once, it was not good for him.

He turned to look at her, his eyes glanced over her to see a man standing beside a large hedge, he looked unhappy, his face set like stone. Lord Melbourne watched him place his hand in his pocket and pull out a gun.

''Get down'' Lord Melbourne shouted as the guards saw the man. Victoria and Lord Melbourne ducked down within the carriage, covering their entire bodies from sight as it began to move at a quickened pace. The sound of the gun echoed through the tree's and for a second Lord Melbourne felt he had been hit, his heart pounding within his chest as he looked over Victoria, who remained bent over, concealed with him.

The carriage drew to a halt and the sounds of a protesting man echoed through the tree's the guards had caught him, holding him as the gun was taken away.

''Stop the carriage'' Victoria said quickly as she sat herself back up.

She glanced over at Lord Melbourne who was trying to slow his racing heart down. He hopped out with Victoria, remaining close to her as the guards protected the pair.

The man looked poor, but the gun looked almost new. Lord Melbourne could see he was malnourished as he struggled against the guards hold over him.

''I wish to have him arrested, and to see me in private'' Victoria looked over the shocked guards and then to Lord Melbourne, who to her surprise did not protest. ''Ensure he is without a weapon and suitably contained''

''Yes, Your Majesty'' The guards replied.

Victoria stepped back into the carriage with Lord Melbourne.

V&M

Victoria sat with Lord Melbourne, a tea pot filled with tea on the table as the couple sipped at the cups. The man stood cuffed in front of them.

''What are your reasons?'' Lord Melbourne asked. 

''Why are you doing this?'' The man replied. ''Just send me to the tower, surely it will be better than this''

''You wish to die?'' Melbourne said quickly ''What can possibly make you wish such a thing?'' 

''Power, threats, insensitive. The list goes on'' The man replied who look unphased

''Do you wish to sit?'' Victoria asked the prisoner who was shifting from one foot to the other, clearly trying to shift the weight off his legs.

The prisoner looked surprised but nodded slowly. ''Do you do this to all your prisoners?'' He asked as he sat down, his hands still cuffed in front of him. Lord Melbourne went to sit beside the Queen once more.  
''Only the ones that capture our attention'' Melbourne replied.

''Are you a chartist?'' Victoria asked.

''No! I am from London''

''You know what is strange, you seem to have no worry about what might happen, and certainly no clear vendetta towards The Queen. But what's more interesting is how somebody as malnourished as you could get hold of such a new gun''

''Look, I wasn't expecting an interrogation here. Just send me on my way, wherever that may be now''

''You did not try to run away when the guards went after you'' Melbourne continued towards the bloke.

''There was no point'' The man replied looking down at the tea pot.

Victoria looked over him. He did not seem threatening, he held no anger, no spite, he looked tired, hungry, and unhappy. ''Do you want some?'' Victoria gestured towards the teapot

Melbourne shot Victoria a look before shaking his head. ''No, absolutely not, he tried to kill you, you do not go offering him tea''

Victoria looked over to the guard who reluctantly uncuffed the man. He remained seated as Victoria offered him a cup.

The couple watched the man drink the warm liquid, relief seem to rush through his features as he gratefully sipped at the drink.

''You did not want to do this did you'' Victoria said quietly as she saw the teacup began to tremble within his hands.

''I have a family to feed. I have no job, money comes few and far between, and the money for this was way too good. My incentive was to provide for my family. I hold no vendetta against either of you''

Victoria looked over to Lord Melbourne.

''Who paid you?''

''They did not ask me directly, it was pure chance that I met this person. I do not know their names, I stumbled across them in a quiet street, they handed me the gun and promised payment. After the troop inspection they paid me, I fed my family, then they asked again''

''What's the catch'' Melbourne said quietly in a deep and tiresome tone

''If I failed I would be killed'' He replied plainly. ''So, sending me to the tower seems the better option of the two''

Victoria sighed, refilling his cup without asking. ''I am not going to do that''

''What?'' The man said quickly ''You have to, I cannot go back on the streets, they will find me''

Victoria looked over to Lord Melbourne. ''May I speak to you in private ma'am''

Lord Melbourne stood with The Queen, the man remained seated as the guards came to stand beside him once more.

''We cannot let him get away with this, as difficult as the situation is he still committed a serious crime, one of which he must be punished'' Melbourne spoke calmly and quietly but still tried to explain the severity of the situation.

''What about his family? You cannot let them suffer because he tried to provide for them''

''If these people are as serious as they make out his family will be killed as well. It is safer to keep him contained, his family will remain safe''

''But still die of starvation'' Victoria said harshly

Lord Melbourne sighed and nodded his head slowly.

V&M 

Victoria and Lord Melbourne walked back into the room. The prisoner looked at the pair of them, worry spread over his face.

Victoria sighed as she sat herself down with a piece of paper and a pen. ''I wish to know where your family live. You shall be sent to the tower. I shall send some food to your family''

Melbourne saw the younger man become tearful, as he wrote down the details on the paper. ''Thankyou'' He said quietly.

Victoria swallowed the lump in her throat as she watched the guards take the man away.

''He did not deserve to die'' Victoria said quietly, holding back her tears as she felt a lump form in her throat.

''Many people don't ma'am'' He said quietly before standing and walking towards the doors himself.

V&M

''The King invited Victoria to Coburg with him'' The Duchess said quietly to Lord Melbourne ''I do not want her going, he will arrange the marriage there, if she is not in her own country she cannot do much about it''

''I have made my feelings rather clear Your Majesty, I cannot do much more than that''

The Duchess looked around, before stepping into a quiet room, closing the door behind Lord Melbourne. ''I want her to be happy Lord Melbourne, marrying Albert will break her spirit, she does not love him, and I cannot allow her to do that, not when she is so young''

''I have advised her to stay here, the man that was caught today was paid to attack Her Majesty, he was a desperately poor man, who wanted nothing more than to feed his family. He was told he would be killed if he did not succeed in the task. The Queen sent him to the tower, to save his family from further threat''

The Duchess breathed a ragged sigh ''This is all getting to much, I cannot risk my daughters life'' Her voice was distressed.

''I wish to tell her Ma'am, it will be much easier If The Queen knows the situation properly''

The Duchess shook her head feeling the overwhelming stress crowd down on her.

''If I ask you something Lord Melbourne, do you promise to answer honestly?''

Lord Melbourne nodded slowly.

''Do you love my daughter?''

The question was short and sharp, she did not waver at it, but it took him by surprise, he was not expecting it. And more to the point, how would he answer it.  
''I feel it would be highly inappropriate to do so ma'am''

''I am not asking on a royal level Lord Melbourne a simple answer is all im looking for''

He hesitated ''I cannot answer that ma'am'' He replied slowly

''I am asking a question Lord Melbourne, I expect an answer''

He hesitated again, taking a deep breath ''It was never my intention to do so ma'am, however I find that I do. Yes''

To his surprise The Duchess smiled. ''Then do what is right. And by right I do not mean by the crown. I mean do what is right for her''

''You cannot honestly think that a morganatic marriage would solve this'' Lord Melbourne said shocked.

''No, but it would prevent my brother from marrying her to someone she cannot stand, someone who would make her life a misery up until her final days as Queen''

''I cannot do that to her, I cannot limit the rest of her life as Queen due to my selfish inclinations'' He replied sternly reminding his wavering mind of what he had been telling himself all these months.

''You haven't asked her what she wants Lord Melbourne. Victoria will not do anything she does not wish to do. You may be surprised'' The Duchess looked over him knowingly before walking towards the doors, leaving him with his own whirling mind.

 _ **Oh dear, things are getting complicated now. It makes sense in my head but if it gets confusing on the screen don't hesitate to tell me, I will always try to improve it. Please leave a thought. The views on this is insane! So, thank you to everybody that reads and awaits new chapters, guests included. But please please leave a review…thank-you!**_ __


	26. Ruled By A Heart

**Ruled By A Heart**

 _ **I will be uploading another chapter tomorrow.**_

''Are you quite alright?'' Victoria spoke out in the quiet to her companion.

Lord Melbourne looked over to her ''Yes of course ma'am, why wouldn't I be?''

''You have hardly spoken a word this morning'' Victoria gathered up her reins, slowing her horse's walk down slightly.

''Just enjoying the company, that is all'' He smiled over to her. Ignoring his whirling mind.

The horse's feet padded through the grass in the woodland. The heavy mist still lingering from dawn. Victoria had wanted to ride out early, it was her favourite time to ride when everything was beginning to come to life.

''You have fully recovered now'' Victoria remarked as she looked over his features. His face had healed well, not a mark left, but there was a noticeable scar on his abdomen which Sir James said he would carry for the rest of his life.

''Yes ma'am, I like to think so'' He paused ''Do you have much planned for today?''

''My boxes this morning, and then we are going down to the docks this afternoon, have you forgotten?''

''No, of course not ma'am'' He replied slightly sarcastically ''Have you thought much more on your invitation to Coburg?''

''Would you come with me if I decided to go?'' Victoria asked cautiously

''I do not think I would be welcomed ma'am, and I cannot leave parliament for such a time'' Lord Melbourne replied quickly ''I cannot tell you to do anything, however I think you would be making a mistake leaving England at such an unsettling time''

''We flushed out the gun man, and have had no more incidents'' Victoria said in defence

''Somebody paid him to do it'' Lord Melbourne reminded The Monarch ''And whoever is trying to prove a point is still out there''

Victoria paused ''I used to think a great deal of Uncle Leopold. I used to write to him, in the finest of detail explaining the things I have done, learnt and enjoy. He always used to reply with happiness, and support. He was a father figure to me for many years''

Lord Melbourne looked over to her, he could see the hurt on her face as he realised things had changed for her. ''Was ma'am?''

Victoria looked over to him, she made no effort to hide her sadness ''He has changed so much since being here, his wishes for me to marry are the fore front of his mind. He has no regard for my feelings anymore, if I had of married Albert in spite of everything and been miserable I am sure he would have been happy''

''Sometimes ones feelings can get mixed with expectations ma'am'' Lord Melbourne chose not to defend The King, he could not stand the sight of the man and had no wish to push Victoria closer towards him.

''I see a lot of Sir John in him, he wants power and wealth, I do not think he cares much for my happiness anymore. Lehzen has never liked him''

''I do not think Lehzen likes many people ma'am'' Lord Melbourne said with a smile ''She carries a great deal of love for you''

Victoria smiled ''More than mama does I am sure''

''I am sure that is not true'' He replied almost to quickly.

''You have been conversing with her a great deal, I feel like you are hiding something from me'' Victoria finally admitted.

He looked over to her, if the years of marriage taught him anything it was that lying, even the smallest ones, cause a huge amount of damage. It destroys the trust that is built with companionship, and a sense of betrayal lingers from then on after. ''It is not my place to say ma'am''

''But I am asking'' Victoria pushed ''I do not understand why two of the most relevant people in my life are hiding something from me''

Lord Melbourne remained quiet for a moment The urge to come clean and tell her everything grew stronger by the day. ''Your mother has concerns for your safety here, the attack must have worried her. She simply converses with me on the grounds of safety and security, especially before public events''

''But why does she not tell me directly?'' Victoria asked slightly confused. 

''Perhaps due to the grounds of your relationship ma'am, I am not the one to ask. I merely follow her wishes to keep her mind at ease when you go out to public engagements''

Victoria remained quiet, a surge of guilt ran through her, was she so distant with her own mother that she could not speak to her, to confide in her? It hurt Victoria. She had often found support in her mother in serious times of need, she found a comfort in knowing her mother was in the palace sometimes. Did her mother not feel the same? She planned to talk to her.

The silence was deafening, both Victoria and Lord Melbourne became lost within their own thoughts, worrying about different things, unaware that they both linked so close together.  
''When did things get so difficult'' Victoria finally spoke out loud.

''Things are rarely so simple ma'am'' Lord Melbourne replied sadly ''Your position does not help matters''

''Sometimes I wish I was not Queen, I would love a normal life, to marry whom I wanted, no royal duties or responsibilities, and other days I wouldn't trade it for the world. Why is that?''  
''Everybody feels like that sometimes ma'am, it is only natural to imagine how it would feel to live in another life''

Victoria went quiet once again.

V&M

The mood had changed between Lord Melbourne and Victoria, it was almost as though a great weight burdened them both. It saddened him to see her so depressed and confused.

He walked the corridors alone. Victoria had gone to change ready to do her boxes, so he had some time to himself.

''Lord Melbourne'' The Duchess's voice came from behind him, it was quiet almost hushed, as he turned to see her he smiled, she walked beside him. ''My brother is going to ask Drina about her going to Coburg with him again, he needs an answer. Has she spoken to you?''

''I feel she wants to go ma'am, I was asked to join Her Majesty but refused her offer''

The Duchess looked taken back ''My brother would never accept you to accompany her, as he knows you would be able to control such a plan. You cannot let her go Lord Melbourne''

''I have to tell her the truth, The Queen is getting suspicious, she will feel betrayed if I continue to hide this from her''

The Duchess stopped ''Perhaps you should make her a better offer, a trip away maybe?''

''I will still have to tell her the truth ma'am'' Lord Melbourne insisted ''I refuse to keep lying to her''

The Duchess nodded, I understand. But for now, we must keep her from going to Coburg with my brother, invite her to take a trip with you, she would not refuse'' The Duchess smiled

''Do I have your permission to tell her the truth ma'am?'' Lord Melbourne said carefully.

The Duchess shook her head. ''I will tell her, I need you to remain close to her, to keep her safe. The relationship I have with my daughter does not warrant you to ruin yours''

Lord Melbourne frowned, everything in that conversation was wrong, he had no place conversing with The Duchess in such a way.

''You have looked after my daughter, despite people around you, me included, trying to keep you away. She would be heart broken if she found out I am sure, and I do not want that for her, she deserves some happiness''

''I think your underestimating The Queen's affections for you'' Lord Melbourne said with a smile. ''I refuse to allow you to tell her without my presence''

V&M

Victoria looked at the pile of papers beside Lord Melbourne. ''Why do you sit the opposite side of the desk?'' She started swaying her leg out of boredom

''There is more room'' He said, not looking up.

''I do not know how you can keep so focused'' Victoria began tapping her fingers on the wooden desk.

He looked up with his eyes, but not moving his head ''I do not know how I can focus with your evident boredom ma'am, but I manage''

Victoria stopped tapping and huffed, picking up her pen she began to read and sign once more. 

He looked up at her, seeing her growing irritation as she tried to focus on the paperwork In front of her.  
''Would a few days away help your focus ma'am?'' 

Victoria looked up. ''I am certain you advised me against going to Coburg this morning''

''I did, but perhaps we could go somewhere different, somewhere I would be welcomed to attend with''

''I am sure my Uncle would invite you if I asked him'' Victoria remarked

''Perhaps France would be a nicer place to visit this time of year''

Victoria's eyes shot up to meet his, she met his gaze, as if searching his expression. ''I cannot tell if you are teasing or not''

''I am being serious ma'am''

''You said earlier you could not leave parliament at such a time'' 

''I am sure I could work around it. France is closer than Coburg'' Lord Melbourne replied.

Victoria remained quiet for a moment. ''When would we leave?'' Victoria asked

''As soon as I find somewhere we can stay, as long as I can arrange the royal boxes to be delivered, and the people you wish to take with us agree to attend of course''  
''I think you should invite your mother, to join us'' Lord Melbourne replied cautiously

''Why would I do that? at least my ladies –''

''We can keep ourselves private, your mother worries about you Victoria, it would mean a great deal to her if you invited her''

Victoria thought carefully for a moment, she had intended to speak to her mother, perhaps Lord Melbourne was right. ''Very well, I shall invite her'' She smiled, properly for what felt like the first time in ages.

''Do not forget to tell your Uncle of your plans, I am sure he is awaiting and answer''

Victoria tried to focus back on her boxes, however the excitement made it even more difficult to focus.  
She stood and walked round to him, capturing his attention she sat down in his lap, grabbing his hand and intertwining it with his. ''You did that on purpose'' She murmured quietly, unable to keep herself from smiling.

''I am certain I will regret bringing it up at such a time, perhaps waiting until the boxes were complete would have been a better idea'' He smiled as he spoke though, he enjoyed seeing her happy. 

''I am glad you told me now, it gives me something to look forward to''

Victoria felt him squeeze her hand gently, before bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it.

''Finish your papers, we have to go to the docks shortly''

V&M

''Mama'' Victoria half shouted as she saw her mother walk past in the hall way.

The Duchess walked tentatively into the room, Victoria could see her mother looked anxious.  
Victoria sat down on the divan and encouraged her mother to do the same.

''Myself and Lord Melbourne are going to France, I wish to invite you to come with us''

The Duchess's surprise was impossible to ignore ''France? Drina, are you sure?'' 

Victoria paused for a moment ''I am sure mama, I wish to go away, and I would prefer to go with Lord Melbourne than Uncle Leopold''

The Duchess shook her head. ''No Drina, are you sure you want me to come with you?''

Victoria looked over her mother before feeling a sense of guilt as she realised her mother felt that unwelcomed within her life. ''Yes mama'' She grabbed her mothers hands ''It would make me very happy to have you with us''

The Duchess smiled at her daughter before nodding her head. Lord Melbourne was right.

V&M

''I do not understand, I was under the impression you had no further trips planned'' Uncle Leopold tried to keep his irritation down, knowing he very often walked on thin ice with Victoria.

''France is closer than Coburg, we have been talking of going for months now'' Victoria replied calmly ''Myself and my ladies are very much looking forward to the change in scenery''

''Coburg would have provided that for you'' Leopold said quietly ''Your ladies would have been more than welcome to of attended''

''My ladies would have attended with me regardless of your opinion, my staff go where I go'' Victoria said sharply ''However I wanted Lord Melbourne to attend with me, and I know he will not be welcomed in Coburg'' 

''Myself and Lord Melbourne share different views. We both want different things''

''Apparently'' Victoria paused ''I shall visit Coburg one day'' Victoria smiled to her Uncle but did not get one in return. Standing from the Divan she made her way out of the room.

V&M

''I told Uncle Leopold I would not be visiting Coburg with him'' Victoria said quietly as the carriage pulled up to a stop''

Lord Melbourne tried to contain his sigh of relief, they had avoided that one. But the knowing doubt in his mind understood The King would keep trying until Victoria was married. ''France more appealing ma'am?'' He was surprised how calm his voice was given his racing heart.

Victoria looked over to him ''Not so much the country, but the company'' She smiled as he quirked his eyebrows.

He stepped out, walking round the carriage quickly he opened the door, Victoria held her hand out to him delicately and stepped out of the carriage.

He found he did not want to let go of her hand, that he wanted the people to know about them. He wanted to be proud of her hand.

Slowly he released her hand, Victoria did not look at him but walked straight towards the crowds where the path laid out ready for her to walk towards the dock in which the ship sat waiting.

She was fearless. He thought to himself. She had no hesitation, she did not think of what had happened, how people had tried to hurt her, it was as if every new outing was a new beginning, any bad ones forgotten, and the new ones shimmered with hope and happiness. He smiled to himself as he walked behind her, watching her grin and wave to the crowds of people, cheering and chanting as she walked towards the ship.

Victoria loved the public, seeing a new place and new faces, keeping her locked in Buckingham palace would be impossible. As they walked up the ramp to meet the captain Lord Melbourne signalled for the guards to stay at the bottom of the docks ramp, preventing people from entering the ship whilst giving Victoria a bit of freedom in a safer environment.

Lord Melbourne wandered the ship with Victoria. The Captain showing every room, every little detail was noticed, the woodwork, the floor, the small paintings and details in the bedrooms. The ship was 3 years in the making, and it was all in Victoria's honour.

''It is like a house within a house'' Victoria said with a grin as she walked out into the open floor of the ship towards the hull. 

''It is rather impressive ma'am'' Lord Melbourne admitted, running his hand along the railings of the ship. 

''I am very much looking forward to taking her on her first trip Your Majesty'' The Captain, who was a younger man than Melbourne had expected, smiled. Pride filling every inch of his face.

Victoria looked at the two men. The Captain looked slightly confused as Melbourne but smiled and looked at ease. She was scheming something and knowing what she was like it was senseless to try and stop her.

''Captain, I would like this ship to take me and my company to France now shortly, I feel it would be a fine method of travelling'' Victoria finally said. 

The Captains face lit up like a burning lantern. Melbourne tried not to laugh as he struggled to hold his excitement around Victoria.

''I shall have to speak to the senior Captain to make sure it is ok''

''We will wait here'' Victoria said as she leant back on the railings a little''

The younger man walked off far to quickly, before very obviously breaking into a run when out of sight. Melbourne looked down at the ramp to see the man almost sprinting towards his senior Captain.  
''I think his career has just peaked'' Melbourne said quietly as he looked to Victoria.

She smiled, the sunshine beaming off her skin, she looked beautiful. ''I like to think I make some people happy''

''You make many people very happy ma'am'' He said with a smile, knowing she needed to hear it.

V&M

''It is such a beautiful ship'' Victoria said with a smile as she sipped her sherry. ''You will all love it''  
Melbourne sat beside her in a corner, glancing over to Leopold who kept his teeth clenched and his head down, leaning on the doorway rather than taking an offered seat with the others.

Victoria glanced over in Lord Melbourne's sight to see the same thing. ''Uncle'' Her voice grasped The King's attention ''Come and sit with us'' Victoria gestured to the seat that had been laid out for him.

Everybody went quiet. Nobody gave the impression they wanted the King there. The mood changed, and the silence became heavy. ''I think I may retire'' He smiled warmly to everybody, but people could tell it was half hearted ''Good night''

The table mumbled their good wishes and continued with their conversation.

V&M

''Do you think Uncle Leopold will ever forgive me for not marrying Albert?'' Victoria sat down on the Divan in her chambers.

Melbourne sat down with her, they had retired later tonight, many of the staff had left for the night. Victoria's ladies had retired giving the couple a little privacy.  
''Well ma'am, if he doesn't then he does not have your best interests at heart''

Victoria nodded, taking in his wise words ''How can I marry anybody if it isn't for love. I know what love is now, how can I settle for something less?''

''You may meet somebody younger, better suited, and fall in love all over again. It does happen ma'am' He could hear the own regret in his voice. But he knew she had to understand this.

''I do not think that is possible Lord M'' She smiled. 

''Do you want to get married ma'am?'' He asked the question tentatively.

''Not unless it is to you'' Victoria smiled and almost joked, but the seriousness of the situation changed quickly.

He smiled and linked her hand in his own. ''Perhaps you could come to Brocket Hall again soon. To see the Glass Houses before we go to France. They are in bloom again'' 

Victoria smiled. ''I would love that''

He kept looking into her eyes then he saw such happiness there, the enthusiasm she held in such little things, despite all that has happened she still held the same qualities.  
''I learn so much from you'' He said quietly, almost in a whisper as his eyes remained on hers.

''What can I possibly teach you?''

''More than you can imagine'' He smiled then, and not just a little smile, a quirk of the lips, but a full smile. One Victoria had not seen him do for many weeks.

She kissed him delicately as she felt his hands wrap around her waist pulling her closer into his frame as she felt his hand slide up to her neck, holding her head in a fixed position. He controlled her, with such precision yet without being forceful. Victoria loved it.

He pulled away from her, he couldn't succumb to his desires here, anybody could walk and check on her, as much as he wanted to, he had to be sensible.

''We cannot'' He huffed his annoyance as Victoria smiled before biting down on her bottom lip, looking down at their intertwined hands.

''How different things could be'' Victoria whispered squeezing his hands.

Lord Melbourne felt butterflies in his stomach, yes, things could be very different. Perhaps not as desirable as what a Queen would want, but what a difference it would make for the pair of them. The Duchess's words came up in his head once more, he had rarely thought of anything else. ''I will see you tomorrow'' He said quietly, placing a delicate kiss to her cheek before standing.

Victoria watched him walk out the door, almost to quickly, straightening his jacket to ensure his appearance had not changed. She couldn't help but laugh a little as she heard his footsteps echo down the quiet corridors.

 _ **Ok so this is like a filler chapter. The plot twists and thickens a good deal from now on so felt the need to level things out a little before-hand. So… France. I mean we all know France is a pretty romantic country, so anything could happen. Thoughts on what Leopold might do next? Thanks for reading**_ __


	27. Lost In Paradise

**Lost In Paradise**

''I thought going to France would avoid my royal duties'' Victoria huffed in annoyance as she watched him take his usual seat.

He laughed a little ''You are The Queen ma'am, you could go to Australia and still have to keep up with your Royal duties''

''But how much will I have to do, if I will be inundated with work I may as well stay in England'' She looked over to his un concerned expression ''I want to see France… not see the rooms it has to offer''

''Do not worry ma'am, you are going to have plenty of time for that, I have arranged the most important duties to be done. Your boxes for instance. But other duties will include visiting certain landmarks to meet The Royal Family of France and The Priminister. So you will see plenty of sights and no doubt you will be invited on trips to see the bigger attractions''

Victoria looked less than impressed ''If it proves to boring I shall come back to England''

''It will not be boring ma'am, do not be so ungrateful'' He realised he sounded a bit like a father then, something he rarely considered himself as anymore. The thought of it struck a cord in his heart.

Victoria saw his expression change as he remained quiet and opened the first box, his intention to focus on his work seemed paramount to their conversation suddenly. ''I did not mean to offend you'' Victoria said politely as she kept her eyes on him.

Those awful thoughts, plans and dreams flooded his mind, making it impossible to focus on anything else. ''Please excuse me for a moment ma'am'' He did not look at her ''I am going to get some air''

Victoria did not get the chance to excuse him, she watched him stand and immediately walk towards the doors.

V&M

''What are you doing out here?'' Emma's voice came up from behind him as he stood out on the balcony, his hands gripped the railings as he tried to calm himself.

''Clearing my head'' He smiled at her before looking back out at the palace grounds. Everything was coming green now. Summer was beginning to creep into the landscape, offering light and warmth to everybody within it.

''You will have to do a lot more than standing out here to do that'' Emma smiled at him but could see something was bothering him. ''It gets to much sometimes'' She said quietly.

He turned to look at her ''Not in the way your thinking'' He said quickly

''William your past is bound to merge with the decisions you make today'' Emma said carefully, she could tell her friend was agitated

Lord Melbourne turned and smiled towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder ''I am well aware of that'' And he quickly turned to head back into the palace.

Emma watched him walk off.

He did not need anybody to offer advice on such matters, and talking about it would not make it any easier, but he could not deny the fact he sometimes felt way out of his depth.

Being a father, it was the most fulfilling time in his life. Every little detail he remembered. He had made so many plans, and looked forward to so many things when Caro told him she was with child. But such tragedy ruined his dreams. Having a son, even for the short time he did opened up something inside him. It had shaped him into the man he was today. Yet when such thoughts flooded his mind, he wanted nothing more than to escape them.

Victoria looked up as the door's opened, she smiled when Lord Melbourne walked back in, he looked straight at her and smiled before taking his seat. ''I apologise for leaving you ma'am''

Victoria smiled and nodded but didn't say anything.

The silence was comfortable as the couple continued to work. Victoria sensed he did not wish to talk, it bothered her as to why, but something screamed at her not to ask.

''I was thinking of holding a dance, if it was not to expensive'' Victoria asked cautiously, almost as though she was asking for the world.

He looked up ''Why would it be to expensive, if it is not a ball than I cannot see the issue, why do you wish to hold an event ma'am?''

''To say goodbye to Uncle Leopold, and to enjoy some time at the palace before leaving for France perhaps''

He smiled ''Of course ma'am'' He said happily. ''Are we riding out this afternoon?''

''I hope so, it is a lovely day…if you are not to busy of course'' Victoria said quickly

''I am never to busy to ride out with you, it is my favourite part of the day'' He looked up to her and smiled, he seemed happier, she noticed.

''Have you found out any more about the attack?'' She didn't really want to ask, but it was something she had been meaning to ask for a couple of days.

He paused, he had not had much time to think about that, his main priority had been to keep Victoria from going away to Coburg with her Uncle and walking into an arranged marriage. His theory is that when The King leaves, the attacks will disappear to. ''No ma'am, I have been rather busy, but I am looking into it later this evening''

Victoria nodded ''Do you ever stop working?'' She asked

He half laughed ''No ma'am''

V&M

He couldn't help but look at her, when they where alone there was no reason to avoid admiring her, he was sure sometimes she dressed in certain dresses just to annoy him.  
Their horses padded through the new spring grass as the woodland crept in around them, concealing them from the rest of the world, as the track narrowed the horses moved closer together, slowly making their way round the twisting track.

''Your staring'' Victoria remarked with a smile.

''I am well aware of that ma'am'' He looked over her, she was wearing a deep purple riding outfit with an almost light pink floral pattern creeping up around her chest and shoulders. On closer inspection the flowers looked like orchids and roses. The dress hugged her figure very well before flowing out from her waist down over the horse's side. The purple hat was held on a bed of delicate plaits with one stray curl each side of her face. She looked a vision. 

She smiled at him trying not to blush. ''I love this part of my day, especially as the guards do not follow''

He turned to see they where alone ''Yes ma'am, however it may have been sensible to have guards following, just incase anybody is planning something''

''Oh hush Lord M, nobody is getting within the palace grounds without a permissive reason and evidence, I was ensured of that''

''Who went to such efforts?'' He asked

''Mama, she took hold of security, perhaps she went over the top'' 

''No, I think she did just the right amount'' He smiled.

The track became even more narrow, so much so it became single file, Victoria remained in front as her mount navigated its way through the woodland. ''I think we are following a deer track now'' Victoria said almost amused.

He had to agree the track was to narrow for anything else.

The tree's opened up around a large untouched pond. The water laid still and no rim around the edge confirmed the area was unknown to the ground keepers at the palace.  
Lilies sat on the water, almost covering the entire surface, coming into bloom bees and insects flew around the carpet of flowers collecting the pollen.

Victoria turned to Lord Melbourne as they took in the sight together, it was something you would only see on paintings, a paradise of sorts.

The horses pulled their heads down immediately going for the fresh lush grass beneath their feet. Victoria hopped off her mount, leaving him beside Lord Melbourne as she walked towards the edge of the pond.  
Lord Melbourne quickly unmounted and walked towards her ''Be careful ma'am, if the pond isn't maintained the edges will be unstable''

Victoria turned from the waters edge and placed her hands on her hips, right there in the sunlight he saw the young woman who he first met that day, so full of life and promise, her confidence had soared as she took on the responsibility with both hands, proving everybody who doubted her capability wrong.  
''I am sure it is perfectly safe Lord M, stop worrying''

He smiled as he walked towards her ''I cannot ma'am, it is within my nature to worry''

Victoria seated herself on the grass beside the pond, turning to see The Priminister stood behind her with his arms behind his back.  
''Sit down with me'' She patted the ground directly beside her ''You are not a Priminister at this moment in time''

He slowly seated himself on the soft grass beside her, feeling rather silly at the thought of it. Turning to see their two mounts happily munching the free grass he couldn't help but smile at the tranquillity of the situation.  
''Did you mean to bring us here?'' He had to ask, mainly because he couldn't be more lost if he tried, but he knew Victoria regularly rode out, within company and sometimes alone, just to escape the pressures of the palace.

''No!'' Victoria exclaimed ''I couldn't be more lost if I tried'' She smiled before laughing, looking back over the water, glistening in the sunlight.

''You do not seem very bothered about that''

''Why would I be?'' Victoria asked quietly ''I am with you, and I am subsequently lost in paradise'' She smiled, nudging his shoulder gently.

''I have a similar set up at Brocket Hall, it is an over flow pond for the main river, untouched apart from a stone rim to ensure the ground does not get damaged, but it is growing lilies and reeds, I often see ducks and swans on there when I choose to visit''

''You can see the tracks coming from the woods, leading to the pond'' Victoria pointed around the pond and Lord Melbourne could see what she meant ''I suppose the Deer come here to drink'' She smiled before turning to him ''Anyway, how come I have never heard of this pond at Brocket Hall, or seen it?'' Victoria remarked

''You have never stayed long enough to see the entire grounds, it is much bigger than given credit for''

''Well then, we shall just have to change that'' She smiled warmly at him.

He looked over her features, her skin glowing in the spring sunshine as her eyes danced over the little details in the pond, she looked so happy, as though everything in the world did not exist. She did not look like a Queen who had so many duties and worries. He always admired how she did not show her fears, or uncertainties, but was brave enough to tell people about them, people who probably had no idea she held them.

He realised then just how many qualities she had, how many things he admired about her and why he loved her as much as he did.

Not that he needed much convincing.

But now the question came, one of which he did not know if he wanted to ask. It would perhaps make him selfish to ask her of such a thing. But how would he know if he did not ask.

''Have you thought anymore about marriage ma'am?'' He asked the question tentatively as though testing hot water to ensure he did not get burnt.

She turned to him ''I have decided that I will not marry if it is not for love, if it will not make me happy then I shall not do it''

''You wish to marry ma'am?''

''Of course, I want to spend my life with someone, to have guidance and love, to be cherished not as A Queen but as a wife, to have a partnership and possibly children, but if it is not for love I cannot do that. For I know what love is now, and nothing can compare''

He remained quiet for a moment, as though he was building up the courage to speak. Victoria turned to him ''What is the matter?''

''I have spent many nights alone… so many so that I forgot what it was like to have company. I felt myself slipping into a routine, one of darkness and no feeling, my life felt meaningless, pointless… as though my very soul had been consumed with sadness''

Victoria saw the pain in his eyes, as he finally admitted to himself what he had felt like, for years maybe. She could see how difficult it was for him. ''You do not have to tell me'' She whispered, trying not to let the lump in her throat disrupt her voice. 

''When I first met you I was considering leaving, to finally retire to Brocket Hall. But something changed that very day, the day you refused my offer of help, I wanted to help, to guide you in the right direction. Seeing you, so young and full of promise seemed to ignite something within me, something I did not know was there'' He paused, swallowing ''Then when you accepted my help, I felt like a father figure. It made me so very proud to see you thrive, to prove your Uncles wrong. Your strength came through so quickly, showing your resilience to your mistakes and learning how to move forward, it was both enriching and enlighting, I learnt so much from you, in such a short space of time''

Victoria felt a tear slip down her cheek, her breathing was swallow as she listened so intently to his words, reliving every moment with him, everything they shared together from the beginning. She remained silent as he continued, looking out into the water. 

''And then things began to change, we grew closer, and it worried me, a great deal''

''Why?'' Victoria asked almost to quickly, she could hear the worry in her own voice.  
''Because I knew I was not allowed to ma'am'' He sounded sad then, even more so than before.

''But I did not allow it'' Victoria replied ''Because I felt the same''

He smiled ''This entire journey we have shared together, through the good and the bad times, it has enlightened me, I have come across many feelings I thought I had lost, and have dealt with things I never thought I would be able to, it has restored life back into me. You, have given me a reason to live, to keep fighting, and to enjoy my life once more'' He took her hands, looking at them for a moment, the difference in them, but how they linked together so easily, as though they had been doing it for years and years.  
''I do not want it to end'' He finally said, looking into her eyes.

''I do not want to continue my life without you'' Victoria whispered as the tears welled in her eyes.

He smiled, gently wiping one stray tear before it fell down her cheek ''I want to spend the rest of my days with you, to love you, cherish you, and stand by you''

Victoria smiled, those words rung in her ears as her heart began to accelerate. She tried not to jump the silence as she realised what he was trying to say.  
''I will not marry anybody other than you'' She whispered quietly, as though surrounded by a room of people.

''Well then, in that case. Victoria, would you do me the great honour, of being my wife?'' He never thought he would say those words again, he loved his wife, so much, despite all they went through loosing her broke his heart and encouraged him to believe he would never feel this way about anybody ever again.

But this was not just any proposal. He had just asked The Queen to marry him. A Priminister. And he was sure in time the shock of that would set in.

She smiled, and half laughed, nodding her head as a few more tears fell from her eyes, she lunged forward wrapping her arms around his neck as she hugged him, holding him closer to her small frame as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his lap. They sat like that for a moment, both smiling behind the other, cherishing the moment they held right there.

Victoria finally pulled away, her tears had dried, and she could not stop smiling as utter joy spread through her body. For this was all she ever really wanted, and as time went on she realised she may never get it.

She searched his eyes, finally she could see how he was feeling, and she felt the same. She kissed him. It was a passionate kiss, one filled with desire and devotion, he reciprocated her advances, holding her close as his hands travelled up her back, holding her slender frame flush against his body.

Her breathing accelerated slightly as he slowly moved round on the grass to come away from the pond a little. Victoria leant her weight backwards as she laid her back on the soft grass, he leant over her frame, supporting his weight with his arms as he kissed her once more. Victoria's hands began to search beneath his waist coat before pulling his shirt from the confines of his trousers, her hands slid up his back, feeling the muscles he held there.

He bit down on her lip, perhaps a little to hard, but revelled in the way she moaned out into the quiet surrounding them. He grinned as she parted her lips, wishing for him to do it again. 

As he moved down to her neck, focusing on the particularly sweet spot behind her ear she felt his hands slide across her body, feeling the contours of her chest and waist through the layers of her dress and corset. His touch, despite being blocked by her clothes sent waves of pleasure down into her stomach, her heart was pounding within her chest as her breathing grew heavier, her body longed for him, and the privacy of the situation made it all that more desirable.

As his head moved down towards her still clothed chest his pocket watch fell out onto the grass, quickly he picked it up, only glancing at the time it showed as he moved to put it back in his pocket.

He stopped what he was doing and looked at the watch, only to gasp and quickly move to stand.  
''What is it?'' Victoria asked breathlessly as she moved to sit up.

''We have been out for 3 hours, the guards will be looking for you'' He turned almost frantic as he quickly placed his watch back in his pocket. Victoria sat there for a moment regaining her composure. Lord Melbourne could tell she was in no hurry to leave. ''Ma'am, we must get you back''

Victoria smiled and nodded, understanding that her family and the guards would now be concerned 3 hours certainly flew by. ''Calm down Lord M, another few minutes will not hurt''

Lord Melbourne was having none of it as he became fully frantic, stepping backwards as he tried to encourage Victoria to stand up from her spot on the grass.  
''Be careful!'' Victoria almost shouted but before she could finish her sentence her beloved Priminister stepped off the edge of the grass and into the pond, submerging himself within seconds. Victoria scrambled into a crawl and made her way to the side of the pond, bursting into laughter as he stood up, grabbing his top hat which was floating beside him.

He looked down at himself, over half of his body was in the water, It was cold, but not unbearable.  
''Well Im glad you find it funny'' He remarked as he saw his soon to be wife rolling around on the grass, laughing hysterically.

He pulled himself out of the water, Victoria regained her breath and tried very hard to control the giggles that threatened to escape her mouth. His face was a picture she would never forget as he untied his shoes and took them off, allowing the water to escape them.

''Are you alright Lord M'' Victoria said finally as she continued to control her laughter.

''Yes'' he replied with a smile ''It could be worse'' He said as he took his jacket off and rung the water from it. ''Come on, we must be going''

V&M

The couple made their way down one of the grass tracks leading back to the palace, Lord Melbourne was still wet, they had moved at a quicker pace in order to get home sooner, but as the palace came into view so did the guards.

''Your Majesty'' One guard said as he signalled the others over ''We have been worried''

Victoria could not hide the amusement on her face as the guards looked over the soaking wet Priminister, drip drying on top of his irritated mount. ''As you can see we had a little…accident''

The guard smiled and nodded, turning around to lead the couple back to the palace. 

' _ **Laughs' I couldn't resist. Even as writing it I kept telling myself not to do the obvious. But I had to add some light to the story, it has been so serious for so many chapters. Let me know your thoughts. Especially on the whole marriage talk... I have lost count on the amount of changes I have made to this. Thanks for reading.**_


	28. Suspisions

**Suspicions  
**

''I want everything, and I mean everything to be perfect, nothing is to fall short''

''Of course'' Lehzen replied to Victoria as she sat and watched the Monarch carefully read through the list in front of her.

''Everybody should be invited, the more people the better, I don't want just a little dance''

Lehzen smiled ''By the plans you have told me there will be nothing little about it Majesty''

Victoria looked over to her ''I would like a new gown, one I can perhaps take with me to Paris as well''

''I shall inform the dresser of your wishes Majesty'' Lehzen replied, carefully taking note of everything Victoria had told her.

Victoria smiled, not just a little smile either, Lehzen couldn't help but notice the sudden change in her mood.

''I heard about Lord Melbourne yesterday Majesty''

Victoria paused for a moment being realising what she was referring to and laughed ''It was incredibly funny Lehzen'' The memory of a drenched Priminister flooded her mind.

''You were gone a good while'' Lehzen quietly pushed Victoria, hinting at her curiosity

Victoria looked at Lehzen and smiled warmly, walking over to her she placed her hands into The Baroness's ''It was intentional I believe, and very much welcomed''

The Baroness smiled, squeezing The Monarch's hands before letting them go, watching with a concerned expression as Victoria practically skipped out of the room.

V&M

Lord Melbourne cantered his horse up the gravel drive, the warm sunshine seeping into his dark brown riding jacket and black top hat.

Much to his disappointment The King stood on the steps, conversing with a member of staff. Melbourne sighed deeply, feeling an unwelcomed weight fall onto his shoulders.  
As he dismounted his horse he handed the reins over to a groom, before taking a single step towards the palace Leopold came down to meet him.

''Good morning Your Highness'' Lord Melbourne put on his best Priminister voice and smiled.

''I hear my niece came home in good spirits yesterday'' Leopold's voice was dark, almost jealous.

''Indeed, I am sure you know we became rather lost when riding out''

The King hummed ''Was there anything in particular that made her so happy though? My sister could not believe the improvement in her daughter''

Melbourne remained quiet for a moment, supposedly thinking over what to say ''Nothing that I can recall, perhaps watching me fall into a pond, or the fact she was away from the palace for so long, it must be very tiring for her majesty to be surrounded by such judgement all the time'' He smiled towards The King, holding his hands together on his front.

Leopold's face dropped like a stone in a deep lake as the words rolled off Melbourne's tongue. ''People are talking Lord Melbourne, please do not cause my niece any more distress''

Anger built up inside him, he wanted nothing more than to put that wretched excuse of a man in his place, but the politician in him said otherwise. ''I know The Queen may be young, and somewhat unexperienced but she is not stupid. Her Majesty knows who is looking out for her best interests, and who is not'' Melbourne replied politely. ''Now if you will excuse me'' And before The King could protest Melbourne walked past him, heading up the steps to find Victoria.

He refused to let the King get to him, not when he had been so happy before. Happiness was rarely long lasting, something dragged him back down to reality, but knowing that Victoria had accepted his hand in marriage meant they were one step ahead of him. He had to remember that. 

Of course, the threat was still there, the less the king got his way the bigger the threat became.

V&M

Victoria sat at her desk, writing some letters as she heard the doors open. Looking up she expected to see Lord Melbourne, but instead her Uncle Leopold walked into her chambers.  
''I am sorry I could not come to Coburg with you'' Victoria stopped writing and looked at her Uncle ''But I hope the dance I am organising will make up for it''

The King did not smile, nor did he reply, he merely sat down on the divan placed close to Victoria's windows and looked out of them, examining the grounds below. ''I am concerned about you Victoria''

Confusion struck as Victoria stood from her chair and walked over to her Uncle ''I am perfectly well Uncle, why are you concerned?''

''You do not understand the threat you are putting yourself under. The public want a marriage, a royal marriage, and a King they can be proud of''

Victoria sighed before Leopold finished talking ''Uncle, please-''

''Listen to me Victoria, these attacks, they cannot be coincidence, the papers, they have reasons behind such titles, you are giving people a reason to turn against you''

''The attacker was caught, and sent to the tower, I have not had any issues since''

''What about Lord Melbourne?'' The King retaliated

''That is on-going'' Victoria replied quickly ''We will find out who did that to him''  
''Marry Albert, put all this nonsense behind you, start a family and enjoy being Queen again'' Leopold placed his hands into Victoria's, but Victoria pulled them away.

''I am happy being Queen, and I refuse to marry somebody I do not love for the sake of keeping the people happy. It will die down soon enough, now that Albert has left''

''Watch yourself Victoria... One day the attacker will strike gold. And marrying will be the least of your worries'' 

Victoria looked at him for a moment ''Are you threatening me?'' She asked, her voice was dark and stern as she searched his face.

''No, I am merely warning you'' He said quietly

''Well thank-you, but it is not needed'' 

The doors opened once more as both Victoria and Leopold turned to see Lord Melbourne walk into the room. His stomach churned as he saw the two together but settled as he noticed Victoria looked relatively relaxed about his presence. ''I am sorry to have disturbed you, I can wait outside'' The Priminister said politely as he backed towards the door. 

''Of course, not Lord M, we were just finishing here, besides my boxes are overflowing'' Victoria replied quickly as she stood. ''I shall speak to you another time Uncle''

The King stood to leave, refusing to acknowledge Lord Melbourne as he stormed out of the room.

Melbourne had a thought then but chose to ignore it until this evening.

Victoria smiled and walked towards him as the doors clicked shut.

''Good Morning Your Majesty'' He smiled and bowed, placing a delicate kiss to her hand before rising again.

''You have dried off then'' Victoria said trying not to laugh.

His smile turned into a scowl ''Pond water leaves a most peculiar smell, it took a good while to get it off my skin''

Victoria tried not to laugh ''You told me to be careful around the edges''

''I was taken aback by the time'' He said in defence

''That reminds me'' Victoria said with an almost wicked smile ''We never finished our moment of madness yesterday'' She walked up to him, wrapping her arms around and beneath his waist coat, pressing against the fabric to feel the muscles beneath his shirt. 

He smiled at her, feeling that happiness bubble in his stomach once more ''The part where you agreed to be my wife or afterwards''

''Afterwards'' Victoria whispered as she pressed her body close to his. ''Before the…accident'' She laughed, unable to control her giggles anymore. 

His body stiffened as she pulled away from him, laughing harder at his unimpressed stance.

''Ok…ok'' Victoria said, capturing her breath back ''Im sorry'' She finished as she sat down once more ''I shouldn't laugh, I can see it upsets you''

Despite the mild irritation he held due to her insistent laughing from yesterdays mishap it pleased him to see her so happy, he refused to let The King ruin this time for them both, whilst nobody knew nobody could interfere. ''What did your Uncle want?'' Lord Melbourne walked round the small oak table and sat beside Victoria.

He saw her face change a little ''Im not entirely sure, he just kept warning me of the risks, obviously by marrying Albert it would solve the problems however when I refused to accept this he grew rather irritated.

''It does not sound out of character for him ma'am''

''He knew a good deal about the attacks, and warned me that if I did not listen to the public they would continue''

Melbourne remained quiet as he mulled over her words, he had been the target before, and when thinking back The King had given plenty of subtle warnings, ones that he did not take notice of as he did not think the man was so power hungry. ''I have never heard the public mention Albert ma'am, in fact I overheard a conversation at the house about an English marriage and how well it would go down only a few weeks back''  
He regretted the sentence almost as soon as he said it.

Victoria smiled ''Well that is what they are getting, perhaps Uncle Leopold will be less concerned once the public are informed and perhaps accepting of the announcement''

Melbourne had his doubts. ''Perhaps ma'am'' He did not trust that man, and now that Victoria had been warned as well, the impulsion to protect her was a big enough motive to start digging around for evidence.

''He mentioned your attack, as if insunating it was linked to me'' Victoria looked over to Lord Melbourne who for a moment did not reach her eyes. ''Should I know something?'' She pressed

He looked up and smiled ''No ma'am, it is an ongoing case, I have had little chance to look into it, as I explained yesterday''

Victoria smiled, undoubtedly trusting him  
''I will organise a meeting with the privy council later on, I wish to discuss the marriage proposal with them immediately'' Victoria said firmly but with a smile

''Leave it for a little while, please'' He paused seeing her smile drop he began to explain ''There is no rush, nothing will be done before we go to France, and besides… it will be nice to just enjoy it for what it is, before dragging people and politics into it''

Victoria squeezed his hands ''I do not mind if I am disliked for my decision, I am doing what makes me happy''

The knock at the door came shortly before it was opened, Lord Melbourne stood from his chair, walking round to the other side of the table to put some distance between them as the servant walked in carrying a pile of boxes.

He placed them on the table where they usually stood every morning, waiting to be completed. They looked full. Much to Lord Melbourne's dislike.

''Your boxes Your Majesty'' The servant said politely before bowing and walking off.

Victoria looked over the table to Lord Melbourne, he met her eyes ''One day, it will not matter. Because people will know'' She smiled at the very thought. ''When we have announced the engagement I do not want you to treat me as a Queen, but as a wife''

''That may be a little while ma'am, I find it is force of habit now''

''You say my name when we are in private'' Victoria argued

''Only because I know you like it'' Lord Melbourne kept his head down as he read over the paper laid in front of him, the smallest of smile playing on his lips as he heard Victoria suck a short gasp in before silence consumed the two of them.

V&M

''She is smiten with him, everything she does he has to know about, everything she says he seems to know about, it as though her entire life evolves around him'' The King seethed through his anger

''Lord Melbourne was a large part of Victoria's life before, nothing has changed''

''Having Albert over here has done nothing but push them closer together''

''Perhaps it was not a case of forcing, but just a mutual dislike to each other, perhaps Victoria and Albert are not meant to be married''

''Oh Nonsense Sister!'' The King shouted, taking The Duchess by surprise ''I will not hear anymore on the matter. Victoria will marry Albert, there are no other suitors, and Lord Melbourne is hardly a detective. It doesn't matter if he is here or not, if it is all arranged nothing can be done about it''

The Duchess stood. ''Please do not do this, why can you not allow Victoria to be happy, I see no harm in what she is doing now''

''She is destroying the reputation of the crown. I did not put Albert through such an education to be turned down by The Queen due to an old and disreputable priminister. He deserves happiness, and wealth, to make up for his suffering''

''Happiness and wealth are two different things'' The Duchess said firmly

''If I didn't know any better I would say you have had a change of heart... Do you not want your daughter to thrive as Queen?'' Leopold looked over to his sister.

''Of course I do'' The Duchess said quickly, trying to hide her nerves. ''I am merely concerned for her safety that is all'' 

''I would never hurt her'' Leopold reassured. ''But she will not approve of my plan, and therefore she must not know. If she finds out, then she may well be hurt. Do you understand?'' The King looked over to his sister, showing a side that she had never seen before. 

Scared, The Duchess simply nodded her agreement, keeping quiet as he walked out of the room.

V&M

''I trust you know what you are doing?'' Melbourne asked the man quietly outside the palace's public quarters.

''Of course, I have done this kind of thing no end of time, needle in a haystack and all that'' The man replied before sucking on a pipe before billowing the smoke out shortly after.

''This is not a standard job, so be extra careful. As I said, this man is capable of dangerous things''

''Stop worrying mate, I know what im doing'' The man replied before placing his cap back on his head as he headed towards the palaces staff quarters

Lord Melbourne had his doubts.

V&M

Lord Melbourne walked through the corridors, despite it being early afternoon it seemed relatively quiet for Buckingham Palace. Victoria had been keen to get preparations sorted for the dance, although her staff usually took control of organisation she had expressed her wishes to be involved in this one.

France was nearing now, the ship left the docks just a day after The King left the palace. The thought both sent relief and anxiety through him. After all the effort he had been through to get Victoria to marry Albert the reality of him giving up just because he was leaving the country was slim. And there was still the threat of an arranged marriage that he had confided in The Duchess about.

The whole idea was far fetched even for a King. He was vastly underestimating the support Victoria had not only within the palace but outside of it. But, that being said the seriousness of the situation could not be ignored. He had always had his beliefs that The King was behind his own attack, knowing full well nobody else carried such a motive, but at The Queen? The idea of injuring his own niece who he is trying to force into a marriage did not add up. Something was missing but he couldn't place what. 

He needed advice, he had decided that stooping to The Kings level was the only way he was going to find out more.  
''Lord Melbourne?'' Lord Alfred seemingly came up from nowhere capturing her attention.  
Melbourne blinked quickly as he came out of his daze, offering a small smile to the polite footman ''Yes Lord Alfred?''

''The Duchess has sent for you, she says it is a matter of urgency''

Melbourne nodded ''Thankyou''

V&M

''Your Highness'' Lord Melbourne spoke from the doorway to a large study type of room. He watched the older woman turn from the window, she looked very unsettled which equally unnerved him.

''Please shut the door'' She said quietly as she moved to sit in one of the few chairs dotted around the room.

Melbourne slowly walked over to her, sitting opposite her. ''What can I help you with ma'am?''

''My brother spoke to me this morning, he is still insistent on getting Victoria to marry Albert, more so than ever''

''He is returning to Coburg shortly after the dance Her Majesty is holding, isn't he?'' Lord Melbourne asked the question carefully inwardly hoping the answer was as everybody believed it to be.

''He is leaving the palace 2 days after you leave for France, but he has told me he will be returning'' The Duchess replied quietly

''Do you know when he plans to return?'' Lord Melbourne asked knowing that if Victoria was by some chance already married it would be impossible for things to go further.

The Duchess shook her head ''I think he suspects me now, he questioned my reluctance to his plans'' She looked even more unsettled now ''He told me that Victoria would be at risk of getting hurt if she found out what he was planning''

Melbourne's stomach dropped as he saw the Duchess hold back tears, refusing to cry in front of The Priminister. ''I would be the target over The Queen ma'am, I can assure you she will remain safe''

The Duchess shook her head vehemently ''I do not feel this way anymore, even if Victoria was to get married I am not sure of what my brother would do, he has gone to such lengths already''

''Has he mentioned anything else?'' Melbourne did not want to press the already distressed Duchess, but he had to know as much as possible as he realised how the problem was beginning to spiral out of control.

''I know he is not the only person involved'' The Duchess said ''But I do not know who else is involved or what their involvement is''

''It is probably linked to the attacks, we know that the assassin was payed to commit the crimes against The Queen, but the man said he was paid through an accomplice, the original employer kept his identity a secret for such reasons''

''My brother assures me he was not linked to the attacks though''

Lord Melbourne did not want to push The Duchess in the wrong direction, he could see she was so torn about it all, knowing he was her brother made things delicate. ''Let's just assume the two are linked for now, without pointing fingers at anybody it is probably safer to link the two in order to be one step ahead''

''Perhaps I should stay here rather than join you in France, after all he may confide in me or make light of his plans If Victoria is out of the way''

''No, you should join The Queen, he is far more likely to put any plans in place when the palace is quiet, I can arrange for someone to keep an eye on him and write to me if need be''

''My brother is not capable of violence Lord Melbourne''

''Well, lets hope it is just a coincidence'' He smiled at The Duchess, but he could tell she was still trying to convince herself of anything else. 

V&M

Victoria looked at the pile of invites she had already stamped, with so more to go the task was becoming tedious. Truthfully, she was looking forward to seeing her Uncle leave the palace, she was seeing so much of Sir John Conroy in him, he never used to be so forceful.

''Do you know what Sir John is doing with his time now?'' Victoria asked Emma who looked up surprised by the question.

''No ma'am, I can look into it if you wish?''

''No'' Victoria smiled ''It was just a fleeting thought. Have you seen Lord M since this morning?''

''He was walking with Lord Alfred last time I saw him'' Harriett spoke up from beside her.

''I would like to ride out sometime today, I cannot stare at these invitations any longer''

''Would you like me to send for him ma'am?'' Emma asked quickly

Victoria was just about to answer when through the open doors Lord Melbourne entered the room.  
Victoria stood along with her ladies. Melbourne walked over to Victoria, despite being well aware that they knew of the nature of their relationship he was certain Victoria had not told them about the marriage acceptance, so decided to get down on one knee and briefly kiss her offered hand.

Victoria looked down at him for a moment, showing a sign of confusion before she spoke.  
''I was hoping to ride out this afternoon, I am rather sick of stamping these invitations''  
''I am sorry ma'am, but there is a matter of importance at the house. I must attend straight away''

''You will be back for dinner?'' Victoria asked

Melbourne hesitated ''I do not think so ma'am, but perhaps for the evening, I can always send a message back to inform you''

''Thankyou Lord M'' Victoria smiled through her disappointment as she watched him leave.

Walking away from Victoria and towards the main doors his step became more determined, knowing full well who he needed to see what and what he needed to put in place.

He would find out what The Kings plans where. 

_**So… things are beginning to get interesting. What do you think Melbourne's plans are? As always… Thanks for reading**_ __


	29. A Different Perspective

**A Different Perspective**

Melbourne watched The Duke finish the last of the brandy in his glass, placing the glass delicately back on The Priminister's desk. ''So, you think this person is a real threat to The Queen?''

''Alongside The King, yes''

''Because The King wants to marry Prince Albert to Victoria?''

''Yes'' Lord Melbourne replied

''So the attack on you, it was a clear warning then?''

Lord Melbourne had chosen to leave that tiny detail out, however he knew the Duke was smarter than he often got credit for ''Yes'' He finally replied ''The three attempted attacks have been clear warnings about The Queen marrying''

The Duke nodded slowly, taking it all in ''You caught the person who fired the gun on the public appearances?''

''Yes, Her Majesty questioned him, against my better judgement, but the man admitted he was paid to do it''

''Im guessing you do not know who?''

Melbourne shook his head. ''I am certain The King is behind these threats. He knows Her majesty will consult me regarding anything that may lead her away from the palace or her royal duties, so he is using a different tactic''

''One of which you do not know'' The Duke replied

Melbourne nodded again

''Christ, you do not do things by halves do you''

''I am concerned The Queen may be in genuine danger, the guards have been increased, but somebody with inside knowledge is leaking information therefore making the guards attempts fruitless''

''If he is leaving in a few days I do not see why this should not stop?''

''He is returning again, when however we do not know, he confided in The Duchess to begin with, but refuses to now''

''He can only proceed with an arranged marriage with two things, one being the privy council agreeing, which im sure you already know, and with The Queen in the country, he could bring Albert back to the palace with him but if Her Majesty dislikes Albert as much as you say she does I would think everything would be sorted prior to this to ensure no time is wasted''

''Surely the council will not agree to an arranged marriage… The Queen is only 19 years old there is no rush''

''Of course not, but you know as well as I do that nobody will give an honest opinion in the Privy Council, if one person agrees with The King chances are everybody else will'' 

''Either way it would take some convincing''

''Not if someone he is working with is close to the Privy council'' The Duke replied

Melbourne visibly stiffened at the thought ''Its possible, but who would dislike The Queen so much?''

''It isn't about dislike more than it is money, I would say the people alongside The King are being paid, or promised some kind of privileges if The Queen is married to Albert''

''And what about the attacks?''

''That one is a little more difficult, you need to find out who is feeding him information, or if he is getting it himself to ensure he knows when The Queen is going out and will be vulnerable''

''I do not want her hurt Duke''

''You have walked into a storm Lord Melbourne, although you had plenty of warning. Tell me, why did you not walk away sooner''

''I am to committed to it now'' Melbourne replied honestly ''I want her to be happy''

''You must be close to her if you are a target as well''

Melbourne remained quiet for a moment ''Being Her Majesty's personal secretary as well as The Priminister means my involvement is high in her life. She often asks for my opinion on things, if I do not agree with such things she listens, I suppose I would then be a target given the difficult situation'' 

The Duke nodded and smiled ''Be careful Melbourne, you complained enough about Parliament before Victoria became Queen, I suppose now parliament is a breeze compared to this''

Lord Melbourne couldn't deny that things where difficult, but most of the time they did not feel as difficult as they were, because he loved her. And experience told him that loving someone was far from easy. ''Thankyou Duke, your advice has been much appreciated''

''You may want to see The Queen happy, but I do not wish to go to your Funeral Melbourne. Be careful''

Melbourne felt the chill run down his spine as The Duke left his office.

V&M

Victoria sat surrounded by her ladies and family, the group was submerged in conversation as they discussed several things. Victoria tried to ignore the fact that she missed his company. He spent most evenings here, but before long he would spend all his evenings here.

They had not mentioned it yet, but she knew he would have to step down as Priminister. Victoria's main concern was keeping their marriage equal, she wanted him by her side as her husband not under the rules of a morganatic marriage.

Knowing he would have lots of work to do before going to France Victoria understood he would not always be at the palace until he fully retired from parliament.

''Did you finish all the invitations?'' Harriett asked dragging Victoria from her dream world.

''Yes'' Victoria smiled ''I was hoping to go riding, but at least they are done and can be sent away now''

''I have seen the dress drawings ma'am, what a gorgeous gown it will be''

''I wanted to make the effort seeing as It is a farewell dance, I am hoping Lord M will give me some flowers from Brocket Hall, with the colouring they would go very well together''

Harriett smiled warmly ''Im sure if you asked him he would oblige. Wouldn't he Emma''

Emma nodded ''If there is the tiniest excuse to go there he will go, even for a few hours. Little else makes him happier now''

Victoria smiled at her ladies before thinking of something carefully.

 **-The Next Day-**

Victoria's eyes fluttered open to the bright sunlight seeping through the windows. Lehzen stood beside her bed  
''Good Morning Your Majesty, I trust you slept well'' 

Victoria smiled still dazed in sleep and nodded. ''Thank you for waking me so early Lehzen, I have much to do today''

''What are your plans for today ma'am?'' Lehzen asked as she grabbed Victoria's robe, placing it round her shoulders as she stood from her bed.

''I have a few more details to arrange for the dance tonight, then my boxes, then I wish to go riding with Lord M, and then I would like to go to Brocket Hall to choose some flowers to go with my dress tonight''

''I am not sure going to Brocket Hall so close to the dance is a good idea Majesty, perhaps you should wait until after''

''Then we are going to France, no I must go today. I am sure Lord M will agree when I see him this morning''

Victoria had not seen him last night, he sent a letter back with Emma Portman's husband explaining he was to busy and had to get things done before going to France. Victoria had debated writing back to him but decided to give him his space.

V&M

Lord Melbourne walked along the bottom floor of the palace, past the staff who all looked surprised to see him down here at such an hour. It was early still, Victoria would be having her breakfast and being prepared for the day, he knew he wouldn't be noticed just yet.

The kitchen was thriving, the staff all working quickly to cook and prepare the food The Queen had requested for the morning, not to mention the dance for night. The heat struck him in the kitchen as he quietly walked past the busy staff.

Out in the open courtyard stood the man he was waiting to see. A pipe in his mouth and a cap over his head the man looked dirty, covered in soot and charred coal on his hands

''First of all'' The man held out his hand

Lord Melbourne counted the money, placing it in his hand he watched the man count it carefully before putting it in his pocket.

''He was discussing something about a boat leaving the docks, I couldn't catch what it was leaving for but he described it as 'causing a fuss' something sinister I would say, he left the palace and met somebody in a quiet street a short distance away.

''Do you know where exactly, and did he pay the man''

''It was near the market place, judging by the silence I would say he was being paid''

''You did not see his face?''

The man shook his head ''I had to stay behind the wall, so they did not see me, it was not a long meeting, they discussed the ship at the docks, the time it was leaving, what bay it was leaving from, what the ship looked like, and to make a fuss... He did say 'do not get caught' I heard the other bloke say that he was more experienced, but more experienced in what I do not know'' 

Lord Melbourne tried to take all the information in ''Thankyou'' He said offering his hand, please keep an eye on him whilst The Queen is away in France, write to me any details that I need or information, I shall ensure it is worth your time''

The man nodded quickly before taking another draw on his pipe.

Lord Melbourne's mind was spinning as he made his way back through the working staff corridors, up the stair case to the palace itself. He knew the ship would be the one they where leaving on for France, but not knowing what was going to make the fuss meant he could do little but be aware of what may happen.

Lord Melbourne hoped that when they left The King would lose his desire to keep things so hidden, at least then he could perhaps get some further information.

''Lord M!'' Lord Melbourne turned to see Victoria come walking up from behind him. Her deep blue dress was plain and simple but hugged her curves perfectly as she quickly caught up with him. ''You are very early, what brings you to the palace so soon?'' 

''I did not come last night ma'am, so I figured coming earlier would get things done quicker'' He smiled as he pushed down the burning guilt for lying to her. 

''I am glad that you are here actually. Victoria walked down the corridor with him, holding her hands together at her waist, fiddling with her fingers as she walked beside him. ''I have been meaning to ask you something'' 

He looked over to her, her uncertainty unnerved him, he knew how confident she usually was, and how open she was with everything they discussed.  
''Yes Ma'am?'' He replied calmly

''After we have done the boxes, and perhaps ridden out given how early you are today. I was rather hoping… that you would take me to…Brocket Hall''

He slowed right down, almost stopping as her words spun round in his already muddled mind before smiling a little. ''What desires you to go to Brocket Hall today ma'am?''

''I would like to pick some flowers to go with my dress, it is a new one you see, I believe the flowers will help my appearance'' Victoria replied nervously, giving her answer quickly and still feeling the need to explain further in the hope he would say yes.

''I am sure we could find the time ma'am, we could not stay long though, if you are to prepare for the dance in time, Perhaps I could send for some flowers, that would save the trip''

''No'' Victoria smiled. ''I want to go, to choose them myself. If we do not have the time you will have to send for them. I simply must have some to wear, they always look so delightful''

She did not need the flowers to look beautiful, even today with no crown, no jewellery, no special dress, she looked a vison. He could sit and admire her all day without a care in the world. Maybe one day he would be able to. But as a group of servants walked past he quickly switched back to Priminister in a bid not to draw attention to them.

V&M

Victoria signed off the last document in her boxes, her hand ached slightly as she had worked quicker than usual to ensure the boxes where completed within a better time.  
''I cannot stand writing to much, I get the most awful ache in my hand'' Victoria began rubbing her hands together ''Would it not be extraordinary if there was something that did the writing for us?''

He looked up at her, already smiling he saw the twinkle in her eye, the untouched possibility of the future ''Maybe one day ma'am'' He said as he finished reading the document and placed them back into the dispatch boxes. ''I fear when we return from France the Afghanistan papers will require a great deal of attention. They are looking at abandoning''

''I see'' Victoria said as she finished rubbing her hands ''Should we look at them before we go?''

He shook his head ''I need more information than this to gauge the situation and devise the best route to move forward, it is senseless worrying about it at the moment'' Besides, he had bigger things to worry about.

Victoria nodded and agreed, she did not understand half of the war documents and did whatever Lord Melbourne suggested, so far it has never steered her wrong.

She stood from her seat and walked over to him ''Are we going riding now? If so I should change''

He looked up at her as she stopped in front of him, leaning on the table beside him. ''We could skip riding and go straight to Brocket Hall'' He said slowly, his eyes scanning up and down her body ''It would give us more time over there''

Victoria pondered the question. She had wanted to go riding, but equally knew travelling would take up extra time of which she did not have today. Perhaps he was right. ''Yes, I am happy with that, but we must go riding tomorrow, regardless of how tonight goes''

He nodded his head moving to stand as he watched Victoria walk off to tell her ladies and staff of her plans.

V&M

The carriage pulled down the long gravel driveway of Brocket Hall. Victoria had travelled with Lord Melbourne as the pair of them where the only ones travelling there. He had not had much excuse, but the unmarked carriage attracted little attention on the streets of London.

Victoria looked at the grass and flower beds, the beautiful large oak tree's and spring bloom surrounding the large hall. The gravel driveway was little to distract from the attention of the beauty that surrounded the hall itself.

''It is like a secret paradise'' Victoria said as she continued to look out the window.

Obviously, Lord Melbourne had taken in the sights of Brocket Hall since he was a child, it was nothing new to him now. But seeing Victoria so amazed by its beauty gave him a bubbling sense of pride. Her smile was as broad as the mornings sunshine as he helped her out of the carriage and the couple walked through the large hall way.

The inside of the house authenticated the outside of it. The design was timeless and beautiful, each chair so carefully placed opposite some detailed art work or a huge mantel fireplace, the large rooms where each decorated differently but nearly every room had huge windows to open the outside grounds into the house itself.

Victoria wondered what the upstairs of Brocket Hall was like, she had not spent much time here due to the obligations of being Queen and the disapproval surrounding her of coming here.  
It saddened her slightly to realise she had never really seen the grounds and enjoyed her stay here. She intended to change that.

They stepped out of a large glass door, down a long stone path, plants laid either side of the pathway as the couple walked towards the two large glass houses at the end of them.

The willow tree's lining the river where a short distance away from the houses themselves, as Victoria stepped in the aromatic smell of different flowers hit her along with the warmth coming only from the sunshine above them now.

Her eyes scanned the plants, some full of flower and colour and others not so much, the deep green and light colours where a feast for her eyes as she made her way down the pathway on her left. Lord Melbourne remained quiet as he followed, watching her intently focusing on each plant, obviously deciding which one was best.

''What would you suggest?'' Victoria turned to see The priminister pulling a dead flower off the stem very carefully. ''I would like something bright and colourful given the colour of my dress, and something that smells nice''

''All flowers smell nice'' He pointed out in a defensive yet playful manner.

Victoria laughed but watched him look across the selection of flowers, he walked over to some peonies, a light but large looking flower with thick petals and some orchids. ''I would say these three offer the most colour, and these two particularly offer a great smell'' 

Victoria nodded as she looked over the flowers. She agreed these did look beautiful. He had not seen her dress yet, she hoped he would agree with her choices on the chosen dress. ''What is this one?''

''A rose'' Lord Melbourne replied quickly, I have a different coloured one if you would like?

Victoria smelt the large flower, the smell seeped through her, offering a taste of the summer that was coming. She smiled ''No, this one is perfect''

The couple went and picked a small bunch of flowers, all of which where laid in damp tissue and placed in a wooden box to keep them safe on the journey home. Victoria looked out of the windows at the back of the glass houses. ''I love this place, it is simply divine'' She said with a smile.

They where concealed from view, the vegetation covered most of the glass, the back of the glass houses seemed to be deliberately left bare perhaps to allow more sunlight, or to look out at the river that ran along the house. Victoria felt sealed off from the rest of the world, just like when they found that pond the other day when riding.

''When we are married, I wish to spend our honeymoon here'' She turned and smiled at him as she watched his lips quirk up and his eyebrows raise slightly.

''Do you like it that much ma'am?''

Victoria turned and nodded ''It is one of my most favourite places'' She said finally ''And I want your flowers at our wedding, nothing else will do''

He smiled then, wrapping his hands around her waist and linking them behind her, pushing his hands into her back she stepped into his frame.

''This is the place I realised that I loved you'' He almost whispered it to her, as though it was a secret nobody else was to know.

''Then this is the place we both shall love together'' Victoria said, feeling that pit of joy and fluffy happiness build in her stomach ''We are getting married'' She said with such excitement.

He smiled and nodded, he was sure she felt the same as him, a feeling he only felt as a younger man, before marrying his wife. That feeling of pure bliss whenever he was within her company, she made him feel young, as though he had his entire life to live and enjoy yet. It made him very happy.

''I am a very lucky man'' He said finally before placing his finger and thumb either side of her chin and kissing her delicately on the lips. It was a fleeting type of kiss, but she didn't pull away, they shared the same air for a moment, before Victoria kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled her body flush against his and deepened the kiss. 

Those moments, what emotions they held. She could not wait until that day came where they would be equal, where they could express their love for each other within her home as well as his. She was so happy, she was certain nothing could ruin this for them.

 _ **Oh dear... I always think the happier people write the harder things are when they go wrong… what is going to happen at the Docks do you think? Will these guys get their happily ever after? Thanks for reading and for all the reviews, keep them coming they make me smile!**_ __ __


	30. That Dress

Victoria looked in the mirror as her dresser Mrs Skerrett finished putting the last of the flowers in her hair. The plaits woven with the peonies went up alongside the tiara placed delicately on her head. The bright silver necklace with the deep ruby stone laid across her neckline, with her shoulders bare as the dress was sleeveless, one of the few sleeveless dresses Victoria had worn.

Her gloves where a pale silver colour, carefully matched to the tiara with a silver bracelet which held the orchids that Victoria had chosen at the glass houses just hours earlier. Her dance cards laid on her other wrist, all written out to ensure her guests would have the opportunity to dance with their host.

The dress itself was tied tight to the corset, the straps up the back of the dress clipped onto the corset behind to ensure it remained in the same position during the evening. With no straps to hold the dress up Victoria had her doubts about it being comfortable, however was proven wrong as the dresser encouraged her to move about after putting it on. The colour of the dress was a deep velvet rich purple. The silk fabric folded over across the chest and then smoothed out across her waistline before flowing right down to the floor. Her heels covered by the dress where a little higher than usual.

Mrs Skerrett walked over to the wooden box bringing over the rose that laid in there. ''Where would you like this ma'am?''

Victoria took the rose from the box, it smelt stronger than the other flowers did, and was subsequently much larger, but the deep red followed by the lighter pink petals in the centre made it stand out against the other more subtle flowers.

Victoria took the rose and placed it across the top of her chest, showing her dresser where she wanted it to be pinned.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror once more. ''Do you think its to much?'' Victoria spoke towards her dressers reflection as she stood behind The Queen awaiting further instruction.

Mrs Skerrett smiled and shook her head ''You look beautiful ma'am''

Victoria smoothed her dress down and walked into the main area of her chambers, her ladies all looked equally as beautiful, bowing and admiring Victoria as she walked towards them.

V&M

It didn't matter that he was the only other one to know about their marriage, and that everybody else was looking and admiring her in the way only he usually did. He had to remember sometimes that she was The Queen and not just his companion.

Not one person in the room didn't admire her, she did not look at him for more than a split second as she walked into the middle of the ball room and took a young princes hand, accepting the first dance of the night. But as he stood watching the two dance, a glass in his hand he saw her eyes catch his as she glanced at him every time she got the chance. She never missed a beat, or lost the rhythm with her dance partner, but it warmed his heart to see her watching him. She was ensuring he was ok. It was not something he was used to.

''You have not looked at anybody else all night'' Emma came up beside him, nudging him gently, encouraging him to look away. ''You need to be more discreet''

''Nobody is watching me'' He argued.

Emma turned to face him ''Actually, your wrong there, you have a number of people keeping an eye on you tonight''

Melbourne looked at his friend ''You included'' He replied

Emma sighed ''If it wasn't for me you would not know''

Lord Melbourne smiled, taking a sip of his drink. ''Its just one more evening, then we will be on the way to France. The King will be gone by the time we get back''

''Do you really think he will give up on marriage that easily, just because he is going back to Coburg?''

Melbourne smiled ''I don't think he will have a lot of choice Emma''

Emma's face dropped ''What do you mean?'' She asked almost to cautiously

Lord Melbourne smirked at her expression, before walking off.

As the dance crept on through the evening more and more people came, many princes and family members danced with Victoria, so much so he had not spoken to her at all this evening. He continued to remind himself of his place here, and the saddening thought that even if they did marry he would not be equal to her, because he was not of royal blood. But people would know and perhaps in time the respect would increase.

Victoria kept looking for him, several times she had made eye contact with him, the champagne she had drunk was beginning to have the desired effect as the dances slowly died out. That warm buzz of alcohol slowly slipped through her veins giving her a comforting and joyful feeling.

Finally the company began to slow, as everybody conversed and occasionally danced Victoria began to make her way over to The Priminister who stood quietly beside Harriett and Lord Alfred. His eyes met hers as he watched her slowly walk over to him. Her dress swung from side to side and he could hear her heels tapping quietly on the floor despite the music playing and voices coming from all directions still.

He took a long sip of his drink as he found he could not tear his eyes away from her this time.

''Victoria'' The King grabbed Victoria's attention, stopping her in her tracks. ''How beautiful you look this evening'' Leopold held her arm gently as he stood back to admire her. ''We must dance'' He said quickly.

''Actually Uncle I was rather hoping to speak with..''

''Just one dance Victoria, what harm can it do after all I am leaving in a few days'' Leopold spoke quietly as Victoria allowed him to lead her towards the other couples dancing.

''I do hope it is alright me staying a few more days, I have some unfinished business here'' The King broke the silence as they began dancing.

''I will not be around to see you off, so I hope you have a pleasant trip home'' Victoria said kindly

''You have grown so much Victoria, such a fine young woman you are becoming''

Victoria smiled, although she could see through some of his flattery at times ''It must be very important business to keep you at the palace a few more days, something I should know about?'' Victoria asked politely

''Nothing that concerns you, it is personal business'' he replied quickly, a little to quickly for her liking.

''Well I hope it gets sorted so you can head back to Coburg, I am sure your country is missing you''

''My priority is you, and ensuring you are doing well as Queen'' Leopold replied.

''Well that is awfully kind of you Uncle but I have plenty of people doing that already, and I will no doubt write to you in the near future like I always did, but I am perfectly capable of managing with the people that live at the palace''

Leopold smiled towards Victoria and bowed as the dance finished. As he stood up straight and released her hand Victoria turned towards where Lord Melbourne was stood before only to find he had disappeared.

Victoria walked over to her friends ''Where has Lord M gone, he hasn't left without saying goodbye has he?''

''He had a message to meet someone outside ma'am, he will be back shortly'' Lord Alfred said politely

''Do you know who?'' Victoria asked

Lord Alfred shook his head, ''He did say he would not be long Your Majesty, he is still within the palace''

Victoria smiled and took another glass of champagne instead awaiting for Lord Melbourne to return.

It must have been a good 20 minuites later before he finally came back into the ball room, quietly walking into a corner Victoria saw him take a piece of paper out of his pocket, unfolding it gently and seemingly looking over it in great detail. He had not looked up from that piece of paper, and looked clearly troubled by whatever was on it.

With another glass in her hand she made her way over to him, he had not seen her walk up to him as she coughed a little to get his attention. As his eyes met hers the piece of paper was folded up and placed back in his coat pocket. Victoria noticed how he prevented her from seeing what was on the paper, which worried her greatly given how open he had always been with her.  
''Something troubling you?'' She asked quietly, keeping her voice light to keep the attention from falling onto them.

He smiled ''No ma'am, just a message from a friend at the house that is all'' He looked over her ''You look beautiful, may I ask where the lovely flowers came from?''

Victoria smiled and laughed, ignoring the niggling thought in her head regarding the letter. She swatted his arm playfully before taking his hands in his ''Dance with me Lord M, before I loose the ability to walk''

He gladly followed her lead as they made their way into the middle of the room, he noticed how she couldn't walk dead straight, the alcohol was beginning to have its desired effect.  
''Tell me'' Victoria said as they began to dance ''How can you drink so much and not be effected by it'' 

He laughed ''Years of practice'' he didn't mean to sound as sad as he did then.

Victoria tried to pull him closer, forgetting their placing for a moment. He pushed against her gently ''As much as it would please me ma'am we are very much being watched''

Victoria blinked a moment realising what she was doing she stepped back into the respectable distance as they continued to dance. It was remarkable really how she kept up with the steps, her judgement on everything else was slow and delayed but still to dance she was sharp, not missing a single step, flowing effortlessly across the floor with him.

The entire world could have slipped away, he would not have noticed in the slightest.

''I think we should tell everybody, after all they will find out sooner or later'' Victoria spoke slowly as she tried to pronounce her words correctly.

''Lets just keep it quiet for a little while, enjoy the secrecy of it a little longer''

Victoria sighed ''But we have kept it a secret for so long now, it is time everybody knew'' She spoke a little louder this time, not loud enough to get attention but loud enough to panic Lord Melbourne.

She always did speak her mind when she was drunk. He should have kept more of an eye on her, nobody else seemed to mind, but then nobody else had anything to loose.

He kept quiet, simply commenting on her attire, keeping her mind away from their secret life until the dance finished. Slowly they came to a halt. Victoria was clinging to him as he went to move away.

She let go, momentarily feeling the room spin as she began to sway on the spot. He didn't move, but as she went to step forwards she almost tripped, falling into his frame.

This did capture attention, but not necessarily the wrong kind it was clear now that she was to drunk to continue with the evening.

The Duchess came over ''Oh Drina, look at you, champagne never did agree with you''

Victoria laughed a little as she remained clutched to Lord Melbourne's arm.

''You should retire Drina, the party will be over soon anyway'' The Duchess said quietly as the music continued to play above their voices

''I think you are right mama'' Victoria's words where slow and slurring as everything came ''But only if Lord Melbourne takes me back''

''What about your ladies Drina, surely they would be more suited?'' The Duchess said as she eyed Lord Melbourne's reluctance to get involved

''No!'' Victoria said firmly ''I wish for Lord M to escort me to my chambers, I shall have the dresser prepare me for bed and retire. I do not want to be disturbed''

The Duchess nodded ''Sleep well Drina'' She eyed Lord Melbourne carefully before he walked slowly beside Victoria towards the doors.

As the cooler air of the corridor hit, and the voices and music began to dull out Victoria remained quiet, walking slowly beside Lord Melbourne with her hand within his arm. As they reached the doors to her chambers he parted from her, smiling as she gripped the door handle and opened it.

''Come on then'' Victoria looked at him as though he was doing something wrong.

The Priminister sighed deeply knowing he was asking for trouble when following a drunk Queen into her private chambers in a busy palace. But for some reason… he still went in.

As he clicked the doors shut Victoria walked over to her dressing table, her walk improved rather drastically and with all the precisions and delicacy she gently took the tiara from her head placing it down she walked back over to him, discarding the dance cards on her way.

He looked at her for a moment. Remaining quiet as he took in her improved stance.  
''What?'' She asked biting her bottom lip in an attempt not to smile

''Well I could ask you the same question'' He said slightly baffled guestering to her entire body

''Oh!, I was pretending'' She said with a smirk, as though it was the most normal thing in the world…''I wanted to get away from everyone. It is getting late and I know everybody will have quiet drinks afterwards... I don't want that''

''So everything about marriage and the stumbling was all an act?''

Victoria nodded ''Give me some credit Lord M, I would have to be very drunk to mention that''

Lord Melbourne sighed ''So you faked being under the influence of drink'' He said exasperated  
Victoria nodded ''It worked didn't it?'' She asked sauntering over.

''In what way'' He said as he watched her near closer to him

''I gave specific instructions not to be disturbed'' She bit her bottom lip, awaiting his response as he tried to fight the warm pull of brandy infused sexual tension they had between them.

''We are still in a public palace, and your Baroness lives right beyond that door''

''I can lock that. I have always had a key to lock it if I so wish'' Victoria remarked quickly as she ran her hands up his chest, toying with his cravat and running down the edges of his jacket. ''Oh'' She stepped back quickly ''How do you think I look? After all most of the effort was for you'' She smiled as her insides flipped a little seeing his eyes slip up and down her dress, taking in every edge and curve now that they where in private.

''You look incredibly alluring'' He finally admitted ''But I am not risking an exposure, this is the most likely place someone will come looking for you, chance is a fine thing but knowing my luck somebody will come and check on you''

Victoria sighed, realising he was probably right, it had worked out a lot differently in her head, she had been thinking about it for most of the evening. ''Fine'' She said with her hands on her hips, I will undress myself and go to bed. Turning her back on him she began walking towards her bed.

He quirked his eyebrows up and supressed a smirk as he watched her undo and relieve herself of her shoes. She ignored him walking around towards her side of the bed.

''May I kiss you goodnight?'' He asked quietly, his voice had dropped down lower than usual. Victoria swallowed as she stood, noticing the height difference now her heels where off.

''I suppose so'' She said quietly her throat suddenly went dry as her heart accelerated slightly

He knew he shouldn't, he knew the risks, and constantly said such things to make sure she was aware of them to, maybe to try and enlighten her, or encourage her to understand a little more. However he was still as juvenile as her sometimes, and found increasingly difficult to say no.

He stepped into her frame his eyes moving to her hair, seeing the peonies braided into her plaits so neatly, he reached up and gently touched the delicate flowers before gently dragging his finger down the side of her face, over her jaw and towards her bottom lip, running over the area where she usually bit down on.  
He watched her eyes flutter shut as she tilted her head, focusing all her attention on that one simple action with his finger, he smiled. How tempting she looked like this. The things he could do.

Cupping her jaw in his fingers he kissed her, delicately touching his lips to hers. The minute he did this her hands clasped at his waist coat, pulling him down as she tried to deepen the kiss. His lips moved against hers in the most delicate way before his desire began to take hold a little and encouraged him to indulge in his imagination.

His hand moved around her head, gripping her neck gently as he deepened the kiss, drawing her lips into his own as his tongue swept across her bottom lip before biting down on it, just like she did. Victoria gasped at the rather sudden action, balling his jacket up into her hands as she clung to him allowing him to do whatever he so wished.

He pressed against her encouraging her to sit down on the bed behind her, as she laid down he followed her, holding his weight just above her as he kissed her again, this time it was more desperate and passionate. She met his desire with her own as they began to get lost in each other.

His hands roamed up her dress, feeling the silk, pressing his hands into the curves of her body before settling on her breasts. Even through the layers she could feel his touch, the burning desire that began to form in the pit of her stomach, putting her skin on edge as his hands continued to explore.

He bent down and inhaled the rose still delicately placed on her chest, before kissing around the necklace, nipping and sucking at certain areas he knew she enjoyed, her moans and sighs got slightly louder making him conscious of anybody who may well be walking past her chambers. He moved down to kiss her clevage which was raised slightly above the top of her dress.

''Did you know I have been unable to look anywhere else but at you all night?'' He spoke quietly, his voice was deep and seductive as her eyes opened to meet his.

''Do something about it then'' Victoria said through the short, sharp gasps of breath.

''How I wish I could'' He whispered against her ear, pushing his groin down against her she could feel him against the fabric, meeting his movements perfectly eliciting a groan to escape his lips.

He lifted his head to meet her eyes, kissing her once more of the lips, wishing how things could be different right now, just for the two of them.

He never should have kissed her, for as he moved to sit up he felt worse than when he did following her in here. 

Victoria understood, she seemed to anyway. ''What are we going to do in France'' She asked cautiously

He smirked ''Do not worry, I have arranged that to work with us rather than against us'' He placed a delicate, chaste kiss on her lips ''Just do one thing for me'' He said as he straightened his coat jacket.

''What is that?'' Victoria asked

''Bring this dress'' He said with a smirk as his hands ran across the silk fabric.

Her insides fluttered at the very thought. 


	31. Hangover Cure

**Hangover Cure**

Victoria slowly walked towards the room in which all her ladies sat down for breakfast. Her head had been worse from past parties, but it was far from good.

She smiled as she recalled her little act last night, in a bid to get her soon to be husband alone for a while, subsequently nobody checked on her last night, as she had insisted at the party to be left alone, however it became a regretful decision as she was unable to untie the corset and dress so had to sleep in the darned thing last night.

Victoria planned to address the problem when she was doing her boxes with him this morning.

Then there was that visitor, during the party. Her champagne infused mind had been very concerned, worrying who he desired to see so much when there was a party going on, and for so long at that. But she had soon forgotten about it. Until now.

Whoever it was gave him a piece of paper, one of which he made sure she did not see. Victoria wanted to confront him about it, after all she had enough lies and deceit through her years despite her age, she did not want a marriage to be based upon them.

The other part of her didn't want to admit he was hiding something, until now she had never found fault with him, he had always done what's right for her, he had been a wonderful Priminister and Personal Advisor, alongside a great friend and now a loving companion. He had pretty much proved his reputation wrong in the palace, so was it worth digging into something that may cause an argument.

Honestly, her head hurt too much to think about it in such detail.

Walking into the room her ladies and mother all sat around the table drinking a cup of tea. The food laid out in front of her made her stomach churn with nausea as she grasped a tea cup, sipping at the warm liquid as it soothed her dry throat.

''Good Morning Your Majesty, did you sleep well'' Emma's voice was usually so quiet, but for some reason today it rung a painful bell inside Victoria's head.

She closed her eyes and nodded slowly, unable to talk as she tried to control the ringing in her ears.  
''I am guessing you have a sore head this morning Drina, you where rather drunk last night'' The Duchess spoke softly as Victoria slowly sat down and looked directly across the table at her mother.

''Actually, It is not as bad as it should be'' Her voice was still hoarse and dry ''Some fresh air will probably help'' She continued to sip at the tea in the cup as quiet conversation ensued.

They had a good deal to discuss really. Victoria needed to talk about getting ready to leave for France, about what she would want to take and what to prepare for. But she did not feel like it, amongst all the other little worries in her mind the pain dulled most of her ability to function properly. She really shouldn't drink so much.

V&M

''Good Morning Ma'am'' Lord Melbourne's voice was bright and slightly loud. Victoria winced and glared at him, seeing his smile to realise he was in fact taking the mick.

''How are you so cheerful?'' Victoria grimaced as she sat down to the boxes stacked between the two of them.

''Coffee ma'am, it has many benefits, one of which is helping to ease a pounding head'' He replied as he looked over the table to see Victoria with her head in her hands ''Perhaps you should have some''

Victoria nodded, allowing Lord Melbourne to find some staff to have some coffee brought to The Queen.

As the boxes shrunk and the papers signed Victoria found the coffee did in fact help, that and the peaceful silence that ensued as they both focused solely on their work. She wanted to mention last night at the dance but found the timing to be wrong. Perhaps when they rode out it would be more convenient.

By the time the boxes where done Victoria's nausea and headache had gone completely, she found herself to be desperately hungry and rather fidgety as she tapped her foot quickly on the rug beneath her feet.

Lord Melbourne looked up from his paperwork to see her fiddling with the stamp she held, trying to stay focused. He smiled, realising she had perhaps had to much coffee.

V&M 

Victoria pulled her horse up, slowing back down to a walk as she waited for Lord Melbourne to catch up. The air was cooler today as the wind whipped between the tree's making the new leaves rustle from all around her. The cold air hitting her face refreshed her, offering relief after being stuck in the same room for most of the day.

She heard the thudding of hooves come up from behind her as she turned to see her companion slow down his mount to match the same pace as hers. ''I must say, whilst I enjoy riding I am not sure I enjoy trying to keep up all the time'' He said between shorter breaths. 

Victoria smiled ''It makes a change don't you think? I am constantly trying to keep up with you''

''In what way?'' He asked curiously but Victoria could see he was slightly hurt by her words.

''Knowledge, experience… I learn something new from you every day, but it can be hard to keep up sometimes'' She replied honestly

''You are smarter than you think'' He replied quietly, glancing over as he saw her smile. ''You fooled me last night''

Victoria let out a small laugh ''As it stood we would have been left in private, nobody came to see me at all last night, I had to sleep in that dress''  
He remembered leaving the palace rather uncomfortable and flustered, it took all his will power to leave her, he was both walking the line and crossing it when engaging in his emotions in the palace, but the papers worried him, he refused to allow that to happen again. ''It was better to be safe than sorry ma'am, I would have gladly undressed you had you of asked''

''I thought I made my wishes perfectly clear yesterday, undressing me was most certainly involved''

He smiled ''It was the forefront in my mind to ma'am, however I do not wish for us to be caught so close to announcing our marriage, it seems senseless''

''What about France?'' Victoria said quickly ''It seems like such long time surrounded by people who do not know, will we have to remain apart for that?''

''I have arranged as much as I can ma'am, try not to worry''

Going to France was terribly exciting, so much so that Victoria had hardly thought of anything else, but the idea of not having any privacy, robbed her of that enjoyment a little, her mother did not know, neither did the hosts who would be welcoming and showing the group round the country's landmarks, her ladies knew and her dresser but this was a trip away, so many people would accompany her, she knew it would be that much harder to get any time alone with him.

So many things worried her, which reminded her ''Who did you see last night, at the party?'' She asked the question outright, knowing that if she didn't she would probably avoid it for longer.

He remained quiet for a moment ''it was just an errand ma'am, regarding the boat leaving for France, nothing to worry about''

''But he gave you a letter?'' Victoria pressed.

''Just a plan, that's all'' He replied.

He hated lying to her, more than anything else in the world. But telling her the truth now would do her no favours. He planned to tell her when they returned from France. Once her Uncle had left the country.

V&M

''You have the plans for what you need to do?'' He spoke quietly, the ally way was empty, but the market lay just behind a wall.

''Yes, of course. Do I look like the type of man who cannot follow instructions?'' The other man was sharp and sarcastic.

''You must not, under any circumstances hurt The Queen, anybody surrounding her is just dead weight''

''That is a little bit farfetched, isn't her mother going, and the Priminister?'' 

''Yes, both of which are making this even harder for me'' He scoffed

''Just cause a fuss you said, not murder people''

''I am not asking you to murder anybody, I am merely saying if somebody gets in the way then its not your problem''

''When are you returning to England again?''

''As soon as possible, time is of the essence here, the longer it goes on the less chance of a marriage, so… chant what I wrote out, cause the scene and get out of there, and for gods sake do not get caught like the other one did, I cannot afford to keep paying random people just to take the blame''

The other man did not respond but merely seemed to huff and footsteps insinuated that he walked off, leaving the king alone.

The young man finished taking note of the conversation, scribbling down every bit of information he had heard, before quietly sneaking off in the opposite direction.

V&M

Victoria had enjoyed her dinner, her appetite and thirst had returned throughout the day, and as the coffee wore off she began to feel and act more like herself again.  
''Are you looking forward to France ma'am?'' Harriett asked brightly 

''I am looking forward to seeing what France has to offer, I hear the culture is somewhat different than it is in England'' Victoria replied, going only by what Lehzen had told her the other day.

''It is known for its romance and passion'' Harriett replied, ''Many romance novels have been written in France''

Victoria smiled ''Perhaps there will be a nice prince waiting for me'' She half joked but believed the ladies took the phrase seriously, why would they not, despite knowing about her and Lord Melbourne they did not know the extent of their feelings, they merely kept their secret and continued with their lives.

Victoria worried that France may not be as enjoyable as she once thought, she had wanted to tell people of her marriage, to grant them some privacy and allow her to be more open towards him. Why he was insisting on keeping everything hushed until they returned confused her.

He noticed her mood had changed, she was not talking as much as she usually did and seemed lost in thought. She had not looked at him much either.

''Lord Melbourne'' Lord Alfred's voice came from behind him, causing The Priminister to turn around. Lord Alfred handed him a letter.

Opening it away from the others he read the details written down carefully, anxiety rushed through him as he took in what was in front of him. Victoria watched him carefully as he folded up the piece of paper and placed it within his coat pocket. Turning around to face the crowd once more.

He walked over towards Victoria bending down to speak quietly in her ear. ''I am sorry ma'am, but a matter of importance has come up at The House, I must attend to it immediately''

Victoria looked at the clock, it was not late, she knew many members worked much later than this. She simply nodded, not choosing to ask why or wish him goodnight.

He noticed her reactions and found despite the importance of the letter he had to ask her what was troubling her in such a way.  
''May I have a word in private ma'am?'' He asked quietly in her ear once more.

Victoria stood, causing her ladies to stand to ''Excuse me, I will be back in a minute'' She said quietly, her ladies all sat down again allowing the two to walk into the smaller, quieter room before heading out into the corridor.

''Forgive me for asking ma'am but is everything alright?''

''Do you want to marry me?'' She didn't answer his question but asked her own. The one she had been thinking about since last night.

He frowned as he took in what she said ''Of course, why would you ask such a thing?''

''Ever since you asked me you have been very distant'' Victoria folded her arms waiting for him to respond.

He looked up and down the corridors before gently putting his hand on the small of her back leading her into a quiet study type of room and shutting the door.  
''I have a lot to prepare before leaving tomorrow ma'am, that is all''

''I feel like you are hiding something from me, which is not like you'' Her hands smoothed down the waist of her dress in a bid to turn her attention away from his worried expression.

''Hiding something from you? Like what ma'am?''

''The letters?'' Victoria asked

''They are from the house ma'am, I have a few matters that are being attended to all at once, I will discuss them with you when they are sorted''

Victoria sighed as she tried to believe his reasonings ''Why do you not want people to know about our marriage until we return from France. I do not understand the reasonings behind it''

Her stance visibly relaxed as she admitted what was worrying her, which did nothing for his guilt. He took his hands within her own, bringing one to his lips and kissing her knuckles gently. Victoria felt him squeeze her hands as he stepped closer to her. ''Nothing would make me happier than admitting my love for you, however I will have to step down as priminister immediately once announcing our engagement, The privy council will up roar no doubt, plus you will have to deal with your family, and staff knowing of the engagement, then there is discussing the morganatic marriage of course. If we told everybody before leaving for France when we return I am sure people would be against it. This way you have the time to convince them correctly when we return''

His reasonings where true. Victoria suddenly felt very silly for overthinking things without considering the royal implications of it all. ''I am not looking forward to France'' She admitted quietly, rubbing her fingers over his own as her eyes locked on their intertwined hands.

''Why ever not?'' He asked softly, trying to encourage her to look at him properly.

''Every time we have left the palace it has always ensured us privacy, to do things we cannot do in the palace, I will not be able to spend time with you like we have before and I want to. Especially with what happened at Windsor''

He smiled despite her not seeing it. He could sense her insecurity, it was a side of her he did not see very often. ''We will have plenty of time to ourselves, I have ensured this. Please trust me''

She looked up at him. ''I do trust you, but I do not like not knowing''

He could relate to this. One hand left her hand and came up to trace her cheek, running down to the line of her jaw ''Nothing would make me happier than having you all to myself, and one day we will be able to do this'' He smiled as she smiled.

He placed a delicate kiss on her lips, a comforting sort of kiss, one that reassured her of all her doubts and worries. She felt wrong for not trusting him, she had no reason not to trust him.  
Linking her arms around his neck she pulled him into a hug, holding herself tight to him as she buried her head into his shoulder. Cherishing the way his hands linked around her waist, pressing her into his frame.

As she pulled away she smiled, she looked happier to his relief. ''I suppose I will not see you until the morning''

He shook his head slowly ''I highly doubt it ma'am, but I shall be here early tomorrow morning'' 

Victoria smiled. ''Good Night Lord M'' She said softly, before opening the small door to and walking back towards her group of ladies.

Rubbing his hand over his face he placed his hand in his pocket, grasping the note he headed back into the corridor in a bid to get to the house before The Duke left for the evening.

V&M

Lord Melbourne jumped out of the carriage, giving no instructions he ran up the steps into the house and made his way towards the Duke's office.

To his relief the office was well lit and clearly still being used, he did not knock, although he knew he should have done really. The older man looked up to see his fellow member in clear distress.

''They are planning on another attack at the docks tomorrow when we leave for France'' He spoke quickly as he tried to regain his breath from running. 

Quickly fishing in his pocket, he pulled out the note, sitting down as he handed to Duke the note allowing him to read the information for himself.

''It is not evidence, I know that. But I have employed one of the staff members of the palace to keep an eye on him. One who would not be recognised out of another member of the public. He followed The King to the market, and then listened to the conversation, this is what he heard''

The Duke remained quiet as he read through the information ''And your sure this is correct?'' He asked quietly

Melbourne nodded quickly. ''What the hell do I do?''

The Duke sighed ''Increase the guards, higher than before, and if you can, change the docking bay in which you are leaving from, so you are not where they are predicted to be waiting''

Melbourne nodded ''What about the bottom bit?'' He asked cautiously

''There is not a lot you can do about that, other than hope nobody gets in the way'' He paused ''This is serious Melbourne, if these threats prove to be true it could endanger people's lives''

''That's what I am trying to avoid here'' He pointed out

''Does Victoria know?'' The Duke asked

Melbourne shook his head ''No, and I do not intend to tell her''

''Why not?''

''Because I fear they may try and kill her if she found out'' Melbourne replied gravely.

 _ **I love writing build up chapters, I find them easier than the plots themselves! Thank you all for reading. I look forward to reading peoples thoughts!**_ __


	32. Choppy Waters

A gentle hand on Lord Melbourne's shoulder stirred him. As his eyes slowly opened he realised he had fallen asleep at his desk, the letter to the palace remained unfinished.

''Sir, it is time to prepare for leaving'' The servant quietly said

He had intended on writing to The Duchess, in a bid to explain everything correctly without the risk of Victoria finding out. The docks had agreed to move the ship last night, placing a similar model in the original space. He had not needed to tell them why, they simply obeyed his wishes.

He was going to the palace early, to instruct the guards to double up, and for the ship in the bay beside the leaving vessel to be closely watched in a bid to catch the attacker.

Victoria would know none the wiser for she had left all the details to him. He would however be thankful when the ship left the docks and they were safely on their way. Sailing was not his most favourite mode of transport, but in this case, it was by far the safest.

He had no clue why The King wanted to frighten Victoria in such a way before leaving the country. Despite wracking his brains about it and trying to put himself in that awful mans perspective he saw no sense or logic in the plans, this angered him as it meant he was doing it out of malice and for the sake of proving a point. Not to gain anything.

How people like that walked this land with a clear conscience he would never know.

The light had not yet lifted, he wanted to ensure he had time to inform The Duchess and attempt to reassure her that despite not knowing what kind of attack was being planned that everything had been enforced to ensure people remained safe. But he knew her nerves where frail and the extra anxiety over the situation was bound to take its toll.

A nagging voice inside his head kept reminding him that things where getting harder, and as a result it was becoming difficult to keep everything from Victoria. He had been sure he was doing the right thing by not telling her, that he would keep her safe if she did not know, it would also look more realistic to anybody watching like that. Seeing an on-edge Queen clearly distracted by her surroundings would attract unwanted attention. The Duchess was the only one The King had confided in, the blame would most certainly fall on her.

His reasonings where strong he felt. He had his motive to keep quiet. But he was still lying to her, and that part was tearing him up.

The coffee was a welcomed relief to his tired body. He had last looked at his watch at 2am, it was now 6am. The last-minute changes to their original plans had taken its toll, but he had to keep her safe.

V&M

The Duchess held the piece of paper delicately within her fingers, reading over the same words over and over again, her mind whirled with questions, fears, regrets. But she never breathed a word.

Lord Melbourne sat opposite her, watching her reactions as she continued to read the notes.

''Who else knows?'' The Duchess asked quietly.

''I have conversed with The Duke Of Wellington ma'am, he is much more educated in such matters than I am'' Lord Melbourne replied honestly

''And what did he say?'' The Duchess spoke slowly as she looked up to meet his gaze.

Lord Melbourne hesitated ''He agrees that without solid evidence to prove The King is behind such attacks he is pretty much untouchable. Although he seemed concerned last night when I sought his advice''

''My brother is to well educated to make such mistakes, I did not think he was capable of such terrible things. I do not want my daughter to get hurt''

''I have ensured the guards to be doubled at the docks, I have arranged for a different ship to be at the original docking bay, our vessel will be further down the docks, away from the crowds who do not know about the change. If anything happens it will be directed at the wrong ship'' 

The Duchess closed her eyes, as if trying to cling to the last bit of strength left within her ''And Drina does not know?''

Lord Melbourne shook his head ''Her Majesty left the organising to me, so subsequently will not suspect anything different''

''What if they are smarter than you think Lord Melbourne? What if they come to the correct ship knowing you have tried to trick them?''

''Her Majesty will be closely guarded ma'am, as soon as she is on the ship it will leave, the sooner we are away from the dock the better''

''All of this heart ache, all the plans and secrets, just because my brother wants to become more wealthy, to have more power under his name. I refuse to let such matters affect my daughter's happiness. But I do not want her hurt, I do not want anybody else hurt''

''I think it would be best to tell The Queen the truth once we have returned from France, it would be easier to manage such things with her knowledge of the situation''

The Duchess nodded slowly ''And the man that wrote these notes?''

''He remains unidentifiable, I have sworn to keep his identity a secret, he will continue to keep an eye on The King and report any odd behaviour until I say otherwise''

The Duchess nodded taking it all in. ''You have covered everything Lord Melbourne. Thankyou''

The Priminister rose slowly, the evening of preparation had taken its toll.

''You look tired'' The Duchess said as she rose to ''I hope your efforts are successful''  
''So do I ma'am'' He paused ''I will do everything in my power to keep your daughter safe'' Lord Melbourne replied.

The Duchess smiled through her worry.

V&M

''Lord M'' Victoria rose from her seat, smiling at The Priminister as he walked into the room. Victoria's ladies who sat with her walked away, giving the pair some privacy.

He looked at her as he walked up to her, a small smile playing on his lips. She looked beautiful, as always. But something about her today made her look even more so. Beyond the worry and stress he held upon his shoulders was an unlimited amount of love and affection, and he realised that whatever was thrown at him, however big the challenge, he would keep her safe. Even if the only reward he got was to see her smile, that was enough for him.

He did not bend down and kiss her hand, he did not look around to check all the doors where closed, or that nobody was within the room. As he strode over to her his eyes never left hers. His hands found her waist, much lower than the acceptable height and he kissed her, fiercely, as if pouring every ounce of emotion, he held within him into her.

The action took Victoria by surprise, he swallowed her gasp. But just as her hands touched his neck he pulled away. Stepping just out of her frame.  
''Forgive me'' He said slightly surprised ''I did not intend for that to happen''

Victoria smiled and nodded, unsure of what to say as those delightful butterflies began to float about in her stomach, reminding her of that delicious feeling she so often felt when she was with him. ''Do it again sometime'' She said in a breathless type of voice.

He smiled, realising that the possibility of that happening without causing a political fallout may happen. ''I intend to ma'am'' He replied with a smirk

The boxes, thankfully where not to full. He worked through the documents quickly, aware of the time as it ticked past second by second. He did not want to be late, if anything he wanted to be early, to get Victoria on the ship before crowds started to gather.

How much easier it would be if she knew, if she understood the risks and importance, to look out for any trouble or odd behaviour, to be on guard not just for herself but for others. She was oblivious to it all, unware that people where trying to hurt her to scare her into marriage. But the guilt that troubled him was that from lying to her and knowing that she would be terribly hurt when she found out.

He glanced up at her, to see her focused on her work to, she to wanted to get away, but for different reasons.

He finished the documents before her, piling the papers back into the boxes he waited patiently, pouring himself another cup of coffee, once he was on the ship and everyone was safe as it began sailing he would probably go and rest. But until then he needed to be fully awake. To be on guard if nothing else.

V&M

The carriage stood, lined up outside Buckingham Palace. Each carriage held its own weight in cases and boxes as many people had to join Victoria on such a long trip. This was not a case her ladies could manage alone. She would need other staff there.

Victoria walked towards the doors Lord Melbourne stood outside waiting for her. The deep blue bonnet covered her hair and some of her face from view. Walking out into the light he saw the smile across her face as her eyes sparkled with excitement.  
''Travel with me Lord M, please'' Victoria said in front of The Duchess and her ladies.

He shook his head quickly ''No, absolutely not. Not in a covered carriage ma'am''

Victoria went to argue back but stopped herself as her mother stepped forward ''Perhaps it would be a better idea to travel with Victoria Lord Melbourne, you will have to walk beside her to go on the ship. It makes sense to step out of the carriage with her''

Victoria looked over to her mother in shock, before glancing over to her ladies who looked equally surprised.

Lord Melbourne nodded slowly, reluctantly allowing Victoria to step into her carriage, before following her in. He knew The Duchess wanted him to be beside her, the plan was clear within his head and probably muddled in her own. It made sense he kept telling himself. But the attackers would no doubt see it as a bigger motive.

V&M

The carriages all pulled up outside the docks. The rain slipped down the windows as Victoria looked out at the large ships all lined in the bays, but the one she was getting on was closest. She recognised the detail that she had admired before. ''How come the ship isn't holding a flag?''

He hesitated, remembering last night that no flag was to be flown whilst the ship stood in the docks, only when it began to leave the bay. Purely to distract attention. ''It will no doubt be flown when it leaves ma'am'' He smiled as he looked down the line of ships, a crowd of people stood further down the bays in particular the spot where the ship should have been.

The rain was heavy now, banging on the carriage roof, echoing inside. ''I fear you may get a little wet ma'am, perhaps you should run to the ship, to take cover''

Victoria looked outside. The rain was very heavy, the wind looked strong to. She nodded, not wanting to get wet and cold.

Lord Melbourne stepped out of the carriage and ran around to open Victoria's side. The rain quickly began to seep through his coat and trousers as he held Victoria's hand allowing her to step down.  
She held her dress up as the couple made a brisk walk towards the ship. Voices from down the docks began to shout and he saw people running up towards them. As they stepped up onto the ramp and towards the covered part of the ship Lord Melbourne breathed a small sigh of relief. She was safe in here at least. He just needed to get everybody else on now.

Obviously, the crowds formed near the correct ship now. And as the other carriages pulled up allowing the rest of Victoria's company to run from the docks to the ship he looked around anxiously for any out of the ordinary activity.

The rain had made many people take shelter, the crowds where much less than what he predicted with many giving up and running for cover as Victoria remained covered from view.  
''They are getting drenched. Perhaps I should go and say my wishes, to make it worth their while'' Victoria said from behind Lord Melbourne.

He spun around eyeing The Duchess's reluctant gaze ''No ma'am, it is horrid out there, you will catch a chill'' He said quickly in an effort to sway her.

''Nonsense, I will only be out for a few minutes'' Victoria said firmly as she walked out to the front of the ship.

Lord Melbourne followed closely behind her, signalling the guards to come to. As she looked down at the docks the crowd of people cheered and chanted her name at the sight of her. Victoria turned and smiled.

Lord Melbourne scanned the docks, the guards surrounded the ship watching over the crowds carefully.

Victoria lifted her hand to wave, the crowds slowly fell silent as they clearly waited for her to speak.

The rain was heard clearly hitting the wooden decking in which they stood on. Victoria looked over the silent crowd. Just as she was about to speak a voice echoed from across the docks.  
''Running away to another country instead of marrying and ruling your own? Shame on you Majesty''

Victoria turned to Lord Melbourne, worry covering her face. Anxiety raced through him as he moved to usher her inside.

Before he could do anything 3 gun shots where fired. He heard a loud bang hit the side of the ship. Victoria turned and moved to run back to the safety of the cabin but slipped on the wet wood, hitting the deck hard.

Lord Melbourne dropped down with her, holding her shoulders down with his hand encouraging her to stay on the floor, concealed by the sides of the ship from the people below.

The gunshots continued, one by one with a few more bangs as the bullets hit the side of the ship. Lord Melbourne could hear the crowds below screaming and running away as the guards lept into action and diverted everyone to safety.  
He vaguely heard The Duchess shout her daughter's name in what sounded like a hysterical voice.

He looked at Victoria, who kept her eyes closed and her face screwed up, laying, dead still beneath his hand.  
As the silence lengthened and the guard's voices died down he felt it may be safe for them to crawl back towards the safety of the ship, reluctant to stand and expose the pair of them again he rubbed Victoria's back, encouraging her to open her eyes.  
''Ma'am, we should crawl back to the ship'' He spoke very quietly, unsure as to what was happening below.

Victoria nodded, moving to position herself to crawl along with Lord Melbourne.

As the two slowly started crawling, another few gunshots where fired, this time they came from a good way away, no chanting or voices, but he vaguely heard footsteps running off into the distance, most likely some guards which he found himself very thankful for employing at the extra numbers.

The guards standing beside Victoria turned to see the two slowly crawling back towards the ship, they remained at the hem of the vessel, watching over the now deserted docks.

Victoria reached the doorway of the ship, crawling into the safety of it before standing and running over to her mother, who was crying hysterically. Lord Melbourne stood to see her run into her arms clasping to her mother as she cried into her dress. Water dripped off her bonnet and clothes as the two stood there for a good while, comforting each other.

Emma walked over to Lord Melbourne who stood quietly in the doorway watching the two ''Gosh William are you alright?'' Emma asked quickly, scanning over him for injuries

Melbourne nodded, trying to catch his breath and slow his racing heart down. Victoria was unhurt, but he was unsure of what lied down on the docks.

''There where some loud noises out there'' Lord Melbourne said to the captain ''I fear the ship was struck a few times by bullets''

''Do not worry sir, the ship is bullet proof, the substance it is made of ensured that. I will get my staff to asses the ship before sailing, once everything has died down'' The captain said quietly as he looked over towards Victoria.

The Duchess eyed Lord Melbourne for a second, and within that second, a huge wave of failure swept over him.

''Come on'' Emma said quietly to Lord Melbourne as he continued to watch Victoria with her mother. ''You have to get changed''

Melbourne shook his head as the cold swept over him, not until he was sure Victoria was alright.

The palace staff began to bring the boxes and cases up to the ship.  
''I trust everything is safe now'' Melbourne asked the guards who followed in with them.

''Yes sir'' As he began speaking Victoria turned to face him, listening carefully as he went to speak further ''We did not catch the gunman, he was not within the crowd but further back and out of sight''

''But the gunshots hit the ship did they not?'' Melbourne asked confused

''There are many ally ways surrounding The Docks, it would not have been hard to hit the ship at the correct angle''

''And what about the ones after that, they sounded further away'' Victoria chipped in. Lord Melbourne looked over her, she was shivering now, perhaps by cold but more likely by shock. Her eyes where red and her cheeks flushed.

''They came from a ship further down the docks Majesty, the man ran out of the ship itself and down a narrow road. We could not get to him in time, the guards surrounded this vessel. Not the other one''

''But why would they target a different ship?'' Victoria asked confused.

Melbourne's stomach churned. A part of him realised he had done right, moving the ship from the published leaving dock. If he had not perhaps the gunman would have killed people as Victoria and her staff would have been on that ship. But he knew Victoria was not stupid as he saw her piecing the puzzle together.

''The ship was due to leave from that dock ma'am''

Victoria stood perplexed ''So somebody moved the ship?'' She asked.

The guards looked over to Lord Melbourne, knowing he was the one to organise this. ''It would appear so Your Majesty''

Victoria looked over to Lord Melbourne, he knew she suspected him. ''Was anybody hurt?'' She asked the guard.

The guard hesitated ''Two people where shot dead ma'am'' He said regretfully

Victoria closed her eyes, before lowering her head and walking off, her ladies following her.

Lord Melbourne looked over to the guard ''I would like a full detailed report of what happened, and please appeal for any witnesses'' He said finally. Before dismissing the guards.

Lord Melbourne looked over to The Duchess who stood quietly on her own, a look of sadness covered her face.

''If you could assess the ship and set sail as soon as possible please'' Lord Melbourne said quietly to the captain who simply nodded and walked off. The Guards dismissed began to patrol the docks as the palace staff continued to load the ship up.

Lord Melbourne looked at The Duchess. ''I am terribly sorry'' He said quietly, looking down at the ground.

''You had no choice Lord Melbourne, Victoria makes her own decisions. Denying her would have done you no good''

''I suppose she will suspect something is wrong now'' Lord Melbourne replied

The Duchess looked down at her hands ''I wish to be there when you tell her, she needs to know you did not act alone in this''

Lord Melbourne dreaded that moment, admitting to her he had been lying to her, to see her hurt and feeling betrayed. It was everything he vowed never to do knowing what it felt like. ''I wish to tell her as soon as possible, there is no point waiting until we return''

''I expect the gunman will inform my brother, that the ships moved docks and the guards where increased, I am sure he will suspect someone has informed us of his plans''

''He never mentioned his plans to you, it was my workman that found out the information'' Lord Melbourne reassured her ''He cannot trace this back to you''

The Duchess smiled, but was far from convinced as she walked off in the same direction as her daughter.

V&M

Melbourne sat in a comfy chair, a large glass of brandy in one hand and a paper in the other.

He had debated on finding Victoria but decided against it. She had not spoken to him since the attack at the docks. The ship had been sailing for about an hour now, he had since changed his clothes and tried to get some rest which did not work for his turmoiled mind.

He looked around the detailed room. If it wasn't for the slight swaying sensation he would not have known he was on a ship. The windows where large, letting lots of natural light in, the woodwork was dark and varnished with large pieces of art work hanging delicately from the painted walls. The furniture and beds where large and comfortable and the staff where taking excellent care of their needs.

He kept thinking over the events of the morning, he had done what he wanted and kept Victoria safe, she had gotten out unharmed. He had done well to organise everything in such a short space of time anyway but to change some large parts of the morning over night was exceptionally tricky. Had she not have felt the need to wave off the public the gunman would not have seen her and targeted her.

Then there was the gunman on the other ship. That sent chills down his spine. If they had of been on that vessel, chances are someone would have been killed. It was clear they where a standing target today, even when out of sight the bullets that hit the ships sides hit in the direction in which Lord Melbourne and Victoria laid. Somebody wanted to kill her, he was sure about that.

The two people that lost their lives did nothing wrong, they got in the way of an attack and where seen purely as road blocks. His heart ached as he realised families would be mourning a loved one.

''You have been sitting like that for the last 5 minutes'' Victoria remarked from the doorway.

Her voice surprised him. Dragging him out of his thoughts as he looked over to her.

He took a sip of his brandy, gesturing for her to sit down in the chair opposite him he folded the paper up and placed it with his drink on the little table beside him. ''How are you feeling ma'am?'' He asked

Victoria looked over to him ''I think you need to tell me what has been going on'' She replied stiffly

 _ **(sighs) Oh dear, what is going to happen now! Thanks for reading guys.**_


	33. Honesty

**Honesty**

Lord Melbourne sighed, rubbing his hands along the length of his thighs as he sat upright in his chair. ''What would you like to know ma'am?'' He asked, his voice was not his usual one, it sounded strained.

''Everything'' Victoria said firmly.

He did not see a shed of emotion across her face, not a wave of hesitation or doubt. ''Your Uncle Leopold had high hopes for you to marry Albert ma'am''

''I made it clear that I was not interested, that me and Albert where not suited. I do not see what that has to do with this'' Victoria replied coldly

''Unfortunately ma'am, your words where not enough to convince The King''

''What do you mean?'' Victoria asked

''Your uncle is trying to trick you into an arranged marriage with Albert'' Lord Melbourne replied matter of factly

Victoria looked at him, before releasing a small laugh ''You cannot be serious, do you really expect me to believe that?''

''He is telling the truth Drina'' The Duchess's voice came from the doorway causing Victoria to turn in her seat and face her mother, watching her walk in and sit down beside the two of them. ''Your Uncle is determined to get you to marry Albert''

''How do you know this?'' Victoria asked her mother, before looking over to Lord Melbourne, trying to make sense of the story

''He told me his plans, how he wanted to frighten you into marrying Albert. However when it became clear you would not resort to that he decided an arranged marriage was the only way''

''So where does Lord Melbourne come into this?'' Victoria looked over to The Priminister who remained quiet.

The Duchess hesitated ''I confided in him Drina, I asked for his help to keep you safe''

Victoria looked at the two people in front of her, anger and hurt bubbled up inside her. ''So you two have been conversing with each other behind my back? To keep something that could change my entire future from me?''

''Lord Melbourne is more experienced in political matters, what he can and cannot do about an arranged marriage and how to avoid such large political fall outs'' The Duchess tried to reason with her daughter.

''That is besides the point!'' Victoria shouted. She turned to Lord Melbourne ''I confessed to you that I thought you where hiding something from me, you made me feel stupid for doubting you in such a way'' She looked hurt. So much so he found it hard to look at her.

''Your Uncle Leopold is behind these attacks, people have died because of him'' Lord Melbourne said firmly.

Victoria remained quiet for a moment ''Can you prove this? It is a very serious accusation''

''The King confided in The Duchess, he wanted to scare you into marriage ma'am, to force you into Albert's hand''

Victoria remembered the chanting before each attack. All linked to marriage and calling her shameful. ''Why didn't you tell me'' Victoria said through clenched teeth ''He has been at the palace all this time and neither of you have done anything about it''

''It was not safe to do so Drina'' The Duchess said quietly as she saw her daughter's anger rise by the second.

''Why was it not safe, I could have—''

''No!'' Lord Melbourne almost shouted, stopping Victoria from finishing her sentence ''We didn't tell you because of the threat he held upon you, because he was within the palace, able to get bits of information without being suspected. He passed this onto the people outside who targeted you when you where most vulnerable, when the crowds surrounded you in support. And why did he do that? To turn people against you, to make YOU the threat and not him. He wanted you to marry Albert to gain access to the allowance and to have another member of his family on the throne, it is not unheard of. But we have reason to believe that if things do not go his way he could seriously hurt you''

Victoria looked taken back by his words ''Why would he hurt me? If he wants me to marry so badly, why would he try and harm me''

''He wants to overpower you Drina''

''If you believed the public where so angry about you not marrying Albert that they where prepared to hurt you then chances are you would have eventually submitted and gone for his hand, unaware that The King was behind it'' Lord Melbourne added

''Do you really think of me as that foolish?'' Victoria said quickly, looking from one to the other.

''Of course not ma'am, but this was not something we could combat head on. We needed to be smart, to control the attacks without him knowing''

''And what was the long-term plan? Keep having people die or the risk of getting injured without knowing the outcome?'' Victoria argued

''Your Uncle goes home in a few days Drina, he cannot do anything whilst you are in France, he has no reason to stay in England'' The Duchess said softly

''He wanted to take me back to Coburg'' Victoria said

''Yes, to arrange a marriage. If you where not in England you would have had no power to argue against it and catching you off guard would have given him the upper hand'' Melbourne added.

''You didn't think to tell me that either?'' Victoria said sharply ''How much more are you hiding from me.

''Nothing Drina'' The Duchess said quickly.

Lord Melbourne remained quiet for a moment, thinking over the information that had been left out, mainly because of the huge amount they had to inform her on. ''I have employed a member of your staff ma'am, to keep an eye on The King and report to me anything he may find of importance'' He finally admitted.

Victoria looked over to him. Pure surprise across her face as she failed to see the reasoning behind it all. ''You employed one of my staff to spy on my uncle?! How dare you'' She shouted as she stood.  
''I trusted the pair of you, I believed I had true friends in this, people to look out for me, and to stand by me. Clearly. I was wrong''

The two watched Victoria practically run out of the room. Leaving them both in silence.

V&M

The rain continued to fall heavy as the ship navigated its way through the sea. Lord Melbourne stood out on the deserted deck. Looking out at the vast ocean, not a building or tree in sight. The water slipped down from his umbrella, falling round him in a large circle as it protected him from the rain.

He was beside himself with guilt. Of course she was hurt, she had every right to be. Perhaps he should not have been so dishonest with her. He had told himself that he was doing so to protect her, that she would not have managed on her own. But then, she would not have tried to manage this on her own, she would have sought advice, be it from him or other people. She was smarter than he believed himself to give her credit for.

He had betrayed her trust. He had lied to her, and only told her when he had no other option. It was all the things he vowed not to do in a marriage, he knew what that felt like. The hurt she would be feeling.

He just hoped she would talk to him again.

V&M

Victoria had thought of nothing else all day. Her anger boiled every time she thought of it, the amount of lies they had told her, everything they have hidden from her.  
But, despite how much she wanted to be angry at them for their actions, she was more hurt by it. And that, made her angry.

She had picked over her food at dinner time, not eating much and listening to the uncomfortable silence that covered the table.  
Then she retired into her chambers, where she had spent most of the day. She wished Dash was here, he so often noticed her moods and reacted upon them. Offering comfort to her when she needed it the most.

Instead she sat thinking how lonely it was without company.

A knock at the door signalled her attention. She refused to speak from behind it, remaining still and quiet on her bed as she heard the knocking again.

Nobody spoke from behind the door. Her curiosity got the better of her as she realised she wanted to know who it was. ''Enter'' She said finally, refusing to move from her place on her bed.

Her eyes latched onto the door as it opened. Seeing her lady Emma Portman walk into the room. Closing the door quietly behind her.

''I came to see if you where alright ma'am, you have been acting out of character all afternoon'' Emma asked quietly as she stood beside the bed.

''Lord Melbourne has been lying to me'' Victoria said quietly ''So much so that I do not know if I can forgive him for it''

Emma walked round the bed and sat herself on the edge of it. Knowing what she already knew meant that she had to be careful, unsure of what to say incase Victoria didn't know everything. ''I am sorry to hear that ma'am, may I ask what it is about?''

Victoria hesitated ''My Uncle Leopold is trying to get me into an arranged marriage, he has been behind the attacks of late, employing people to frighten me, trying to encourage me to marry Albert out of fear''

''Lord Melbourne knew about this I suppose'' Emma said quietly

Victoria nodded.

''So he was trying to protect you'' Emma finished

''But he lied to me in order to do that''

''Perhaps he felt that was the best way ma'am, nobody wants to be lied to, it breaks a level of trust you did not know you held for that person''

Victoria listened carefully as Emma described the way she was feeling

''How can I trust him again?'' Victoria asked ''I cannot do this on my own. My Uncle does not know that I am aware of his plan, when I return he may try again''

''You will not trust him straight away ma'am. It is something that must be rebuilt over time. I am sure he would not have done it if he had the choice''

''You would say that, you are his friend'' Victoria argued almost spitefully.

''That may be ma'am, but I work for you. And if he did anything wrong, I would not stand by him'' 

Victoria remained quiet.

V&M

The evening slipped by in a haze of alcohol. Melbourne looked down at the brandy in front of him, he was sure he had been staring at it for the last 20 minutes, unable to take another sip.

His mind was quiet, at least for now. A feeling he had forgotten of late. It was almost as though every noise you could possibly hear accumulated in his head, all because he worried so much for the safety of The Queen.  
He was fooling himself, or trying to. His Queen. The woman who had gotten him up in the mornings, who he thought about when in the house, who he remembered every time something made him doubt his job, the woman who had breathed life back into his body, who made him smile and take up hobbies he had forgotten about.

It was as though her life, merged into his. The age gap meant nothing, they shared many similarities, and shared few disagreements.

''All those times I came to you, drowning your sorrows in drink, wishing your life away because you had been betrayed, cursing the first person to do such a thing. And you do it yourself''

Her voice rung in his ears, she was disappointed, and for some reason, probably due to all the alcohol, he was upset by that.

''I did what I thought was right'' He murmured slowly, refusing to meet her gaze

Emma took the glass from his hand, noticing how he didn't fight, but merely allowed the glass to slip through his fingers, as though he had no reason but to submit.

Emma sat down opposite him and sighed ''And yet here we are''

''Here we are'' he repeated sorrowfully.

''Vicky is rather angry, she feels betrayed'' Emma replied plainly

Melbourne sighed as he looked up at her ''I do not blame her'' He said quietly eyeing the glass sitting beside her.

''I tried to explain your reasoning's, but I refuse to stand up for you to much, after all you should have learnt the first time''

Melbourne looked at her and frowned ''What do you mean?'' He asked confused

''You have to control everything William, as though telling people could prevent you from doing so''

He laughed at her words ''I only did what I thought was right, I knew that if she found out she would try to take matters into her own hands, you saw what he is capable of, what he had done to me, and today! I did not want to hurt her'' He argued almost desperately

''I am not saying that'' Emma replied calmly ''And I agree that she could have been hurt, but you did not accept help from anybody else, you tried to control everything''

He sighed ''You should be a judge Emma, you are very pushing at times''

''Look, despite what you have to deal with now, the threat is still out there, you must sort this problem out, they got what they wanted, Vickie is now on her own, but they do not know that yet, I am sure she does not know everything, you have to come clean and be honest with her, so that you can both move forward from this''

''I have told her everything, I had no choice but to''

''Have you told her about the attack?'' Emma asked quickly

Melbourne remained quiet

''You know what it feels like to be lied to, how hurt she is feeling right now. You waited until you had no choice but to tell her, because she had already figured it out, it makes matters worse when people start doubting you. Come clean and tell her, it will keep her safe''

''She will not accept my help now'' He replied quietly. ''As soon as this ship docks I am going back to England''

''So you can retire as Priminister and wallow in your own self-pity for the next 29 years''

''That's rather accurate, but yes''

''Is this what she wants, for you to abandon her, to leave her to fight this battle alone, or is it what you want?''

He didn't say anything, nor did he look at her, his eyes remained fixed of the glass of Brandy, his mouth felt dry as he realised how thirsty he was.

Emma looked down at the glass ''Or is it what the damned brandy wants'' She said quickly, picking the glass up and taking a sip herself.

She placed the glass back down on his lap. ''Everything that you have felt, despite the years between you two, she is feeling it to. If you cannot relate to that then I suggest you leave''

She turned to walk away.

''I asked for her hand in marriage'' He said quickly.

Emma stopped dead, turned and looked over to him. ''Pardon?''

''I asked for her hand in marriage'' He repeated slowly ''And she said yes'' He looked down at his drink ''I asked her, knowing that he was preparing an arranged marriage'' He admitted ''I have done everything I have sworn not to do, and more''

''In what way?'' Emma asked curiously ''The way I see it is you let your heart rule your head, you love the woman, it may not be acceptable, and it may be slightly absurd but the love is real, you didn't propose to her just to keep her safe''

''I was prepared to keep such things from her though, and for that she does not deserve me''

''Why don't you let her be the judge of that'' Emma said quickly before she turned towards the door once more. ''Oh and keep away from the Brandy, the self-pity does not suit you''

Lord Melbourne watched Emma walked out of his room, placing the glass on the table beside him as he steepled his fingers under his chin and began to think through the swamp of thoughts within his mind.

V&M

Victoria felt the cold air hit her face as she stood out at the hem of the ship. The brisk sea breeze cut into her clothes, providing little comfort to her.  
But for some reason she didn't want to feel comfort. Never before had her mind been so torn. He was supposed to be the good man, the one she could trust and rely on. He had been lying to her for weeks now. How had she missed that?

She wanted to feel pain and anger, she wanted to hate him for his actions, to shout at him and not feel bad for it. She didn't want to feel as though she had done wrong. So why did she?

Victoria sighed, letting go of the railings she rubbed her face in her hands, trying to make sense of it all.

Behind the glass, in the warmth of the ship Victoria's ladies sat watching her.

''How do you think she is feeling?'' Harriett asked Emma quietly

''I do not know'' Emma replied ''At a guess I would say she is hurt more than anything''

''She has every right to be hurt'' Harriett said

''I can see both sides'' Emma said in defence ''Vickie is still so young, she takes things with both hands and doesn't let go, problem being she could have put herself in danger if she was aware of what was going on''

''But why would The King hurt her? If he wants her to marry Albert it would not make sense''

''I think, from what William told me, he is trying to frighten Victoria into marriage, it didn't seem to work though and therefore the attacks got worse''

''So hurt The Queen to frighten her into marriage?'' Harriett said trying to catch up

Emma nodded ''He is using the crowds as an excuse, making Victoria believe the public want her to marry Albert, when actually the public do not care, she is so young still, people know she has plenty of time''

''So you agree with what Lord Melbourne done?'' Harriett asked

Emma shook her head quickly ''Goodness no! he should not have treated her like that, problem with William is he wants to control everything, he feels he has a responsibility to do so. But in this case it hasn't worked''

''I have not seen Lord Melbourne since Victoria went to see him''

Emma looked down at the ground for a moment ''He was drowning his sorrows in Brandy a few hours ago, saying when the ship docked he wished to leave again, that he had not done Vickie any favours''

''Surely he wouldn't run away, The Queen doesn't want that'' Harriet said worriedly

''I don't think he will, it is the drink talking, hopefully by tomorrow he will have come to his senses, or perhaps Vickie will talk to him by then''

Harriett nodded ''I hope so, otherwise this will be a very awkward trip''

V&M

''Drina?'' The Duchess's voice caused Victoria to turn from her book. The ship would be docking soon, they where almost in France.

She was tired, she had not slept much last night, too much to think about. ''What is It mama''

''You did not come for breakfast'' The Duchess replied worriedly She carried a plate with her, a selection of her favourite breakfast foods laid on it. Victoria was hungry but refused to face the people she was angry at.

The Duchess placed the plate down on a table close to Victoria, she remained standing as she looked down at her daughter.  
''I am sorry Drina, I only wanted to protect you'' She said anxiously

Victoria smiled ''You still treat me like a child, as though I am not capable of looking after myself''

''No Drina, I assure you that was not our intentions. My brother has become someone who I do not recognise, he is trying to hurt you''

''So why was I not told about it'' Victoria seethed ''I could of sent him away rather than keep giving  
him the time of day and allowing him to plan all these awful things''

''If you had of sent him away he would have brought Albert back, or set up an arranged marriage, at least whilst he was at the palace we had some idea of what he was doing''

''At the cost of my safety, which is a strange way of protecting me'' Victoria said sarcastically

''He wants to frighten you into Albert's hand, to make you think the public are angry at you for not marrying him''

Victoria remained quiet for a moment taking in the information and trying to remain calm, she had to know the full story, despite her anger at the two of them she remembered Emma's reasonings from yesterday. ''You have both kept me safe, but neither of you know his plans, what he aims to do whilst we are away, what awaits me when I come back, or what plan we have to sort this problem out''

''Lord Melbourne assured me he has something sorted, that any information will be provided to him via letter if my brother plans anything before leaving''

''Lord Melbourne has a lot to answer for'' Victoria said through clenched teeth ''He has not done a very good job at this''

''Drina!, Please'' The Duchess said firmly ''Lord Melbourne has done everything within his power to keep you safe, he has protected you from harm up until now, he has found out The Kings plans, he has done all this whilst leading his own life, which is half of yours'' She paused ''Please hate me, but do not turn your back on someone who has done wrong in a bid to protect you. He wanted to tell you, he wanted to be honest and to make you aware, but I refused him, I didn't want to worry you, I thought perhaps my brother would have accepted the refusal to marry Albert, I wanted to believe he was a good man''

Victoria looked over to her mother ''You speak highly of Lord Melbourne now, what has he done to earn your affection in such a way'' She asked

''His devotion to you, to your safety, to the crown, to your happiness'' The Duchess said firmly.

''But he hurt me in the process'' Victoria said quickly

''This kind of hurt will pass Drina, you will move away from this, but marrying Albert, would give you a life time of hurt, and that is something I cannot bear to watch happen''

Victoria sighed deeply, looking over her mothers concerned face.

 _ **'Sighs' It had to end at some point. Let me know your thoughts, thanks to everybody reading and even more to those taking the time to review, it really encourages me!**_


	34. I Will Be There

**I Will Be There**

Victoria heard the crowds on the docks from her cabin. Cheering and clapping filled her ears as Mrs Skerrett finished tying her bonnet.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror before smiling and heading towards her ladies.

As they reached the front of the ship, Victoria caught sight of the view. The sun beamed across the beautiful town. New smells filled her head along with the clapping as she walked off the ship, followed by her ladies down to the bottom of the docks.

Stood beside her, ready to guide her to the awaiting carriage was Lord Melbourne. She refused to look at him but continued to smile and wave towards the crowd for a moment before The Priminister lifted his hand in a bid to guide her in the right direction.

Victoria turned and smiled once she reached the carriage, as Lord Melbourne opened the door she caught his eye for a moment, she didn't drop her smile, nor did she breathe a word. She simply nodded her thankyou and stepped into the covered carriage, allowing him to shut the door behind her.

Victoria's ladies stepped in beside her, immediately sensing the tension as the carriage pulled away.

V&M 

The hotel was beautiful, she had to give him that. Lord Melbourne had chosen one of the finest houses in France, the large rooms where almost as big as her chambers at home. The food was divine and the views where beautiful. 

Victoria was greeted by many friendly faces. Her dress and overall appearance was somewhat different to what the women of France wore, she thought to try some of their styles as she noticed their disapproving looks.

''I hope you enjoy your stay here and see as much of France as you possibly can'' The young, smartly dressed man smiled warmly to The Queen and her ladies before bowing and walking out of the room.

Victoria turned to face her ladies ''Everybody is so relaxed here, it is not like England at all'' She smiled, much to her ladies' relief.

The grounds where large, the warm sunshine beating down on her dress as Victoria wandered around outside, geese and swans quietly walking the edge of the river bed, pecking at the freshly cut grass and basking in the summers sunshine.  
It was much warmer than England already, and everything, even the house seemed grander than what things where like back home. But the change was good, it refreshed her mind.

She had avoided speaking to him up until now. For she had nothing to say, or that's what she told herself. Actually, she had lots to say, but not the courage to say it. This upset her, she wanted to be angry at him, to make him feel her pain. But as time went on she realised his reasonings, and that he did what he did because he loved her.  
However, he lied to her, could you love someone so much you are prepared to hurt them in such a way? Victoria was not so sure. Could she trust him again? Or was this a harsh reminder of the difference between their lives.

Nobody could offer her the correct advice or tell her what to do, as much as she wanted somebody to do so.

''I feel I should speak to Lord Melbourne'' Victoria said plainly to her ladies.

Emma smiled and nodded politely walking back towards the house to find The Priminister.

V&M

''Haven't left yet then'' Emma walked into Lord Melbourne's room, it was not far from Victoria's. Much to Emma's relief he was not drinking.

He lowered the paper down, placing his glasses on the table beside it he looked over to her. He looked tired, Emma noticed. ''No, much to my own disappointment''

Emma smiled ''I do not think it is due to that at all, be realistic now, you always where loyal''

Lord Melbourne hummed before letting out a little laugh

''Vickie would like to see you'' Emma said plainly, capturing his attention for a split second.

''Perhaps later'' Lord Melbourne said quietly, going to grab his paper once more.

''You are denying The Queen of her wishes?'' Emma said quickly

''Except she is not just a Queen is she, not to me anyway, and im pretty sure the reason she wants to see me is not as a Queen''

''Well it is, after all you're The Priminister… Just… and what you did was to protect her as a Queen, so the topic in question is linked to Royal Conversations''

Lord Melbourne looked up at her, annoyance clear across his features as he put the paper down harshly and stood, grabbing his waist coat he wandered out in search of Victoria.

V&M

Victoria had removed her coat, leaving her bare arms at the mercy of the warm sunshine as she sat beside the river on a bench. Her group of ladies stood quietly behind her, all in silence as the noise of the wildlife and water surrounded them.

As her ladies eyed Lord Melbourne walking down the lawn they all quietly walked away, knowing full well Victoria would want to speak to him in private.

Victoria did not look at him, but sensed his presence beside her as he stopped and stood quietly for a few seconds. ''Your Majesty, you sent for me'' He said formally

''Sit down Lord Melbourne'' Victoria replied as stiffly as what he did. She still refused to look at him.

He seated himself on the bench beside her, putting a measurable distance between them, cupping his hands at his waist he sighed deeply and looked out across the river.

They sat in silence for some time, it was not an overly uncomfortable silence, but not a pleasant one either.

''I am incredibly sorry for hurting you ma'am'' He said after a while. The words where not meant to be hurtful, but the way she winced insinuated they were just that.

''Everything I do, no matter where I am, I can remember doing them with you'' Victoria spoke quietly as she felt the lump draw into her throat ''I have done so much with you. Even when you are not around I find myself recalling memories with you''

''Is that a bad thing ma'am?'' He asked cautiously.

''It is when I am trying to get away from it all'' Victoria replied with a sigh ''Even this, sitting here, reminds me of the times we sat together at Brocket Hall, or when we go riding'' She looked down into her hands for a moment.

''I never meant to hurt you ma'am, I simply wanted to protect you'' He didn't know what else to say.

''I understand why you did it, to a degree anyway. What im struggling to deal with is the lying'' She replied honestly

''I wanted to tell you'' He said quickly, accepting any reply would be a fruitless attempt at earning her forgiveness

''I know'' Victoria said, turning to see his face change to slight surprise. ''Mama told me that you wanted to inform me, to ensure I knew, but she refused and encouraged you to remain quiet about it''

''When your mother first came to me she was terrified. So much so that I feared for her health. She felt incredibly guilty for bringing your Uncle here''

''Well that part is true, she brought him here without my permission'' Victoria argued ''She spent enough time trying to get me to accept Albert''

''Love does not happen straight away'' Melbourne argued knowing her experience in such matters was somewhat limited ''The Duchess wanted Albert to leave with The King, she said you would not be happy with him, that you did not like Albert. She felt responsible for all of this, I suspect she still does''

''So why didn't you tell me then, I cannot understand how it was so complicated''

''Albert was not due to leave yet, he had done nothing wrong. We did not want to destroy a relationship upon wishful thinking. We gave your Uncle the benefit of the doubt that he would leave when Albert did''

''But he never did''

''Then the attacks came''

Victoria began to piece the puzzle together then, the information was beginning to make sense to her.

''The King knew when you would be vulnerable, and he knew how to manipulate you, because he was hiding in plain sight. He found out which events took place where and which ones where best to cause a scene, usually ones with big crowds so the shooters had places to hide''

''Is that why they chanted about marriage?'' Victoria said quickly as memories flooded back from the attacks.

Melbourne nodded.

Victoria remained quiet for a moment. ''The paper story was that him to?''

''I have reasons to believe so ma'am, it was a very well thought out headline, not something the papers could have come up with overnight themselves''

Victoria tried to control her anger. ''Because I refused to marry Albert, that's all this is about?''

Melbourne nodded again ''I am afraid so ma'am, he felt by using your biggest motivation against you it would force you into Albert's arms. When it didn't he started taking things further, and I have reason to believe he would hurt you''

''Is that why he wanted me to go to Coburg with him?'' Victoria said quickly

''He was hoping to get you into an arranged marriage, however The Duke Of Wellington informed me he could not legally do that unless done in England''

''The Duke knows?'' Victoria replied

''I had to gain some knowledge ma'am, The Duke understands these matters better due to the time period he was Priminister in''

''Who else knows'' Victoria said quietly

''Nobody else ma'am''

Victoria breathed a sigh of relief, she did not want to many people knowing, despite it not being her doing she understood people may not react well to the news  
''Uncle is leaving soon, he should be gone by the time we get back to England''

''I am unsure that will change anything ma'am, he mentioned returning to the palace at a later date''

''Well I can refuse him, I do not have to welcome him''

''The threat to your safety is still there'' Melbourne reminded her ''These people who have been committing the attacks are still in England, and chances are they will continue to strike upon The Kings wishes''

Victoria hadn't thought of that. ''I cannot just sit here like a target, I have to get on top of this''

''I have put measures in place to find out what The King is up to, perhaps whilst he is alone at The Palace he will let his guard down''

''What do you mean measures?'' Victoria asked quickly almost not wanting to know the answer.

He hesitated ''I have employed somebody at The Palace to keep an eye on The King and report back to me if he does anything dangerous or reveals his plans''

Victoria paused, taking in the new information before realising a small smile ''You hired a member of my staff to spy on my Uncle, in my palace''

Her voice was calm, but he sensed her irritation ''Your Uncle was hiding things exceedingly well, so much so that it was near impossible to find out his next move, this enabled me to do so''

''Has it worked?'' Victoria asked

Melbourne nodded ''I found out all the information I needed in order to keep you safe at the docks ma'am''

''At the cost of two people loosing their lives, people of which had no right to die'' Victoria argued

He remained quiet as she continued ''You have hurt me whilst trying to protect me''

''I am regretfully aware of that ma'am, however if I had to, I would do it again, for I will always be there''

Despite his alcohol infused mind encouraging him to run away at times he knew his heart would not take that level of pain again.

Victoria looked over to him and smiled, a smile of appreciation maybe, or perhaps kindness. But either way it was a genuine smile, the one he so often admired.

''If you have been preventing these attacks from succeeding how come you have not been a target, surely by getting to me they would need to go through… you…'' Her sentence trailed off then as she looked over at him.  
She searched his face, and with every passing second it may well have been an hour, that look of hurt disappeared and he saw something much worse.  
''You knew didn't you''

''I had my suspicions ma'am, but they where not confirmed immediately'' 

Victoria shook her head quickly ''No…'' She paused, struggling to finish her sentence ''You knew as soon as it happened''

He remained quiet.

''I sat with you. Kept you company, watched you recover'' She swallowed as she fought back the tears ''Did you know how scared I was? You nearly died Lord Melbourne, and you knew who caused such an incident, why didn't you tell me?''

He didn't say anything for a moment, knowing that whatever answer he gave to explain it would hurt her further, for she still didn't understand the risks like he did, she didn't know what it was like to lose someone she loved so dearly, to have to protect them in the way he had been her. Yes, he had done wrong, he had lied to her and abused his position, but it had worked. She was still alive and unharmed, and in doing so he had earnt the trust of people who knew and had previously doubted him.

The guilt twisted in his stomach like brambles to a rose bush, twisting through him, cutting into his heart as he sat and watched her tears slip from her cheeks. He wanted to grovel, to plead for her forgiveness, to explain fully why he did what he did. But something in him refused to do so. As though she may never look at him again if he did.  
''I was told that if I valued my life in any way then I should let you live yours and keep quiet. It was a clear threat, one that I was not prepared to risk''

Victoria closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, releasing a ragged broken breath as she tried to control her tears once more. ''But you didn't listen to them, you stayed beside me''

''I knew the severity of the situation ma'am, I felt responsible for keeping you safe, more so, I wanted to''

''You lied to me'' She said plainly ''Why?''

He had to be honest now, there was no way to avoid the matter ''I understood the delicacy of the situation ma'am''

''So you did not trust my reaction, or actions to find out who did this?''

He shook his head slowly unable to say anything in reply.

''I want you to leave'' Victoria said quickly, as though she had been plucking up the courage to say it for some time.

He looked into her eyes then, and studied them, he usually saw so much in her eyes, but through the tears all he saw was somebody who was hurt, betrayed and angry. He did not see the kindness she often looked at him with, or the affection he sometimes saw.

He stood from his seat. Looking over to her again he bowed politely before briskly walking away.

Victoria pretty much held her breath until she was sure he was out of ear shot when she released a ragged sob, followed by a flood of unshed tears.

V&M

Victoria walked down the corridor, the décor was so different here, the walls coloured brightly, delicately painted with the finest detail, in this particular corridor a line of flowers all dotted on one long vine followed her either side as she entered the large and very grand dining hall.

Everybody stood beside their chairs, waiting to be seated. She recognised the people who came with her, her ladies walked beside her as she briefly glanced across the room to find Lord Melbourne sitting directly opposite her.

She smiled warmly to everyone, after a change of clothes, and a wash she felt more in control of the situation. Although she had sat on that bench for a while and cried a good deal before composing herself and walking back to the house.

She cried, but it was only because she didn't know what else to do. Weeks of uncertainty, worry and stress all piled into one day. The person she trusted the most. She didn't blame him for what happened, he had no control over her Uncle's actions, but she felt hurt and betrayed for being kept out of something so significant in her life, and what irritated her was that it was sure her age was the reasoning behind it. Not that it was mentioned at any point. But she was far from stupid. 

Her ladies had been very quiet, they saw how she came back, that she had clearly been crying. But she had not told them why. Victoria could sense they where walking on eggshells for this reason. But that in itself irritated her a great deal.

She seated herself and watched everybody else take their seats. The French King offered his best wishes to everyone at the table and most importantly his guests before the food was served.

Victoria conversed with everyone who offered, showing a great deal of interest in each conversation, she learnt new things about the culture, where the food originated from, holidays and the way they were celebrated here as well as the politics in the country.

The King had big plans for his country, some of which seemed very farfetched, but the country was strong and clearly under good leadership.  
''You have done a wonderful job'' Victoria said to The King ''I hope one day I shall be as knowledgeable to my own country''

''Nonsense'' The King laughed informally ''You are already doing a brilliant job, and I am sure you will continue to thrive in such power''

The entire table was full of laughter and informal chat. Victoria tried to remain as professional as possible, but the environment made it difficult. Everybody was so at ease here, conversation flowed across the room along with laughter and jokes as people enjoyed their food and drink. Victoria found herself relaxing.

''I hope my son will marry someone as good as the suitors that have been put to you'' The King said out of nowhere. He looked over to his son ''I shall accept nothing but the best when I arrange his marriage''

That struck Victoria for a moment ''You will not let him choose his own wife?'' She asked as she sipped her drink

The King shook his head, ''I cannot waste such time Majesty, you are very lucky to have the choice, but choose wisely, it is not something you can back out of''

Victoria smiled, she felt unsettled then as she looked over to Lord Melbourne. His eyes fixed onto hers almost instantly, holding her gaze as the pair studied each other's expressions.

The group moved to another room when dinner was finished, everybody sat comfortably beside a fire, just like they did back in England. But it was far nicer here, the company was better for starters.

Victoria noticed that as the evening went on Lord Melbourne was less and less talkative, he was drinking a great deal and seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.

She ignored it, she did not want to worry about him at the moment, she needed time to think. Well, that was what she was telling herself. But every few minutes she would glance over to him, never catching his eye.

Only an hour or so later he stood from his seat, placing the glass down he said his good wishes and made to retire. Victoria stood and excused herself also, quickly walking towards the door in a bid to catch him.

She saw him walk up some steps and around a corner, quickly running to catch up she called his name as he came into sight once more.  
''Lord Melbourne'' She said quickly as she slowed up and stood opposite him. ''You are retiring early''

''I feel a good night's rest is in order ma'am'' He said formally

She held her hands firmly together, wringing them as she thought of what to say ''Are you going to leave me?''

''That is what you asked me to do ma'am'' He replied

''Will you retire from parliament?''

''That day will come soon enough ma'am, but perhaps not immediately, unless you wanted me to''

''I don't'' She replied quickly ''I do not want you to leave, you are here, with me. You organised all this, the events, the places to visit, I want to see them but not without you. You are a part of this now'' She paused taking a deep breath. ''But I cannot and will not stop you from leaving. However, if you leave this country without me. Then I do not expect you to be Priminister when I return''

He looked over her, she was nervous, but for what reason he did not know, he was the one that should be nervous, she had the power to dismiss him, to tell him to retire and never see her again, and he would do, if that was her wish… but something was stopping her from doing that.

''Until you ask me to retire I shall not ma'am. For I cannot leave you without a direct command to. I do not have the strength for that'' He replied quietly as though admitting a secret. ''Whilst you need me, I will be there''

Victoria stopped wringing her hands, the anxiety slowed, and her anger diminished. She saw the kindness he held, the quiet temperament and mannerly man she saw daily and never tired of. ''Goodnight Lord Melbourne'' She finally replied.

 _ **Im pretty sure a part of my soul dies every time I write a heart-breaking chapter… yet they are so easy to write! Let me know your thoughts, how things may pan out, views etc. Thanks for reading!**_


	35. Two In A Castle

**Two In A Castle**

Victoria kept looking over the large oak table, between the two of them sat an oray of papers and documents both signed and unsigned. It was, as Lord Melbourne very often described, organised chaos.

She had caught his eye a few times, but apart from some niceties and the regular good morning ma'am, how was your evening they sat in complete silence, the only noises surrounding them consisted of the clock ticking the seconds away, and the brief noise of a pen hitting paper.

Victoria hated silences like this, it reminded her of when she first became Queen, when she spoke, and people only judged but did not answer, those awkward meetings of important people who disapproved of her becoming Queen so early in her life. But she had proved them wrong, only with the help of Lord Melbourne though.

She was no longer angry at him, but the feeling of betrayal had seeped into every part of her body, it had changed her entire presence. She did not want to converse this morning at breakfast and enjoyed the silence as she walked past people in the corridors who chose not to speak to her. The only people who did not react to her clear unhappiness was the King Louis himself.

Victoria had smiled and stood to greet her host when he came to check on her this morning, he asked how she slept and if the food and rooms where adequate. He did not live here, but a short distance away in his palace which she assumed she would visit at some point whilst she was here. He had made the trip to come and see how she was after all.

He was an exceptionally friendly and happy man, he made her smile and feel at ease as he chatted informally to her, one royal to another. They could have been lifelong friends. His warm, inviting attitude was refreshing to what she was used to.

The silence! She sighed, fed up of the awkward air between them. She was hurt, yes, but knowing she couldn't look forward to seeing him felt worse than her current feelings. It was slightly shocking how much she relied on him. He had always been there, through bad and good, she had confided in him, he had kept her secrets, they had shared such talks, such laughs, the challenges they faced together and solved together, he wanted her to succeed as Queen, she trusted that. What upset her was that he had lied to her, not as a Queen but as a companion.

She knew that he had been in that position before, Emma had explained this and that he did what he did because he felt it was the best way to keep her safe, yet it didn't comfort Victoria that he had lived such a lie for so long without her knowing, and despite the amount of pressure she put on herself to forgive him, she couldn't look past that without zero doubt.

She was unsure if she could forgive him for such a thing. She no longer trusted him. As much as it hurt her to think like that.

''The King came to see me this morning'' Victoria said quietly, catching his eye as he looked up to meet hers.

''What caused such a visit ma'am?'' He asked curiously

''Nothing'' Victoria said with a slight shrug ''He just want to see how I was finding the place''

Lord Melbourne knowingly smiled and released a little laugh.

''Something wrong with that?'' Victoria said defensively, questioning his response.

Her tone changed towards him ''Not at all ma'am, he is probably just being friendly'' He replied politely not wanting to annoy her anymore.

''You know something'' Victoria said ''I wish to know what it is''

He paused, putting his pen down he clasped his hands together. ''The King is very… tactful, he knows who to be friendly with and who to fall out with. That why he wants to marry his nephew into Spanish blood, to broaden his power. He will only associate himself with powerful countries, you will not see him talking to royalty of a less significant country''

Victoria looked over to him in surprise ''So he is using me for my position?'' She said, slightly insulted

He dropped his smile ''No ma'am, not at all, he does not want anything out of you. Not at the moment anyway. He is merely trying to be friendly with you'' He said quickly, trying to explain things correctly to prevent any more irritation.

''Well I do not approve, had I of known I would not have engaged in his behaviour'' Victoria said as she scribbled her name on another bit of paper.

''It is not a bad thing to be friends with someone so powerful, you will meet many people like that. He wishes you no harm and if you needed his support he would be there. It is good to have friends in high places''

''But we are of equal'' Victoria argued ''He may be more experienced but he is a King and I am a Queen, surely we are of the same level''

''But together you are stronger ma'am, you have to remember that''

Victoria pondered on the statement for a moment ''I thought he was being overly friendly''

''Enjoy his company, you will relate to him as he will to you, he will make your stay enjoyable and ensure you leave happy, take advantage of that if nothing else''

Victoria hoped she would enjoy her stay here, as it stood she just wanted to leave and head home.

V&M

The streets of France where somewhat different to London. London was busy, with factories and carriages, people pushing past each other and the streets where often dense with different smells. France was a mixture of the countryside and London. Busy but not packed, scenic but not the countryside. The buildings where different, the cobbles looked different and colour bounced off every surface.

The streets smelt of fresh bread and food. Spices and aromas flooded through Victoria as the open carriage was pulled through Frances quieter streets.  
''London is so busy compared to this'' Victoria turned to Lord Melbourne who sat beside her.

''It is busier in the centre of France ma'am, we are in the quieter part of France'' He looked out across the streets also, enjoying the change of scenery and not having to worry about attacks. He had not heard from his messenger at the palace, it both relieved and worried him.

''Will we see all of France?'' Victoria asked

Melbourne shook his head ''We would have to be here much longer than our planned time ma'am, perhaps if you enjoy your stay you can holiday here again''

Victoria ran over his words, so far her trip and stay had been less than desirable, but she refused to face such problems in such a lovely city, she wanted to enjoy her stay and the company that surrounded her.  
''So, this castle we are going to, your sure im going to like it?'' She asked

He smiled ''I am very sure ma'am, to say it's a marvel is an understatement''

''What's it called again?'' 

He smirked, knowing she couldn't pronounce it properly ''It is named Chateau De Chambord ma'am, but it is called the Fairy Tale Castle to many people in France as it is known to be like stepping back in time''

Victoria looked over to him ''Very apt then isn't it'' She smiled sadly towards him and looked back out at the passing features ''Is it similar to Windsor?''

''I do not think so ma'am, I would say it is slightly bigger'' He was looking forward to seeing her reaction, her lack of enthusiasm was worrying, she was usually very open minded.

V&M

The carriage pulled up to two large black gates, through the bars Victoria could see the beginning of the castle. The bright white stone stood out against the green grass and flowers.  
The gates opened after a few moments, the guards bowing as they realised who the visitors where.  
''The King had shut the castle off, leaving you to enjoy it in privacy'' Lord Melbourne said as Victoria saw the guards shut and lock the gates once more.

''It is something I so rarely have now'' Victoria remarked sadly as she looked ahead.

From behind the large white horses pulling the carriage Victoria's eyes burst with view as they turned the corner on the neat gravel driveway. She struggled to take it all in, sucking in a gasp as she scanned over the wonderful building.

It looked just like a fairy-tale castle. The ones she had seen drawn in books Lehzen had read to her when she was little. The books she remembered as soon as she saw the real thing.  
The white stone walls shone bright in the early summers sunshine, which contrasted the perfectly managed grounds, the bright flowers basking in the warmth as the pathways crept around the edges of the castle.  
The turrets where pointed, just like in the story books, with grey slate all sloping down to meet the white stone with a gold point on the tip of each one. The windows along the walls exposing the vast number of rooms and the sheer size of the place.

Victoria watched in awe as the carriage pulled round the outside of the castle, making its way towards the draw bridge. The lake surrounding the back half ran almost directly up to the castle itself, the crystal-clear water reflected every little detail as the sun shone down on the still surface.

The horse's shoes echoed across the stone bridge as they trotted into the castle grounds before pulling up in a court yard.

Lord Melbourne saw Victoria tilt her head back, looking up at the height of what surrounded her, he smiled as he realised her level of admiration for the place.  
''You do not have to know about history to appreciate the beauty'' He said as he jumped out of the carriage and walked round to help her out.

The coachmen where obliged to keep quiet as Lord Melbourne clasped her hand, gripping it firmly as he felt her fingers link into his own. She stepped down out of the carriage and continued to look around the castle.  
''I never knew a place like this even existed'' Victoria almost whispered, yet her voice still echoed into the vast open sky above her.

The pair walked towards a tunnel of sorts, as they walked through the stone tunnel as the castle itself came into view, it was like an older, but much grander Buckingham palace. The timeless design made it look so modern.  
''This castle took 3 decades to build, each design was very carefully thought out by 2 men, both of which did not live to see the finished result. Their names are engraved on the stones at the front of the castle. Dedicating the work to them''

''Have you been here before?'' Victoria asked quietly as she ran her hand along the walls.

''Yes'' He replied after a few moments. He came here with his late wife, and with each step they took towards the castle the memories came flooding back, they had enjoyed their time in France, and it was the last time they did so. ''But it doesn't mean I cannot appreciate it again''

Victoria turned and smiled, the enthusiasm had returned, he saw her eyes light up with unexplored promise, experiencing something new with each step she took, it was like a stimulation to him, to see her so happy about something so simple.

The couple walked around the insides of the castle, an area that was not usually open for people to go in.  
''The King must really want to earn my friendship'' Victoria remarked quietly as she explored every room and corridor. Each room and corridor was designed with such detail, it was more modern than what Victoria had expected.

''He is a smart man'' Melbourne agreed as he walked slightly behind her, his hands clasped behind his back.

Victoria noticed his stiff posture, she understood why, but she did not wish for things to be like this the entire trip, her head was telling her to accept what has happened and move on, but her heart was relaying all the lies he told and how much it had hurt her to find such things out.  
''This reminds me of our walks within the palace, finding the quiet corridors so we could talk without being seen or heard'' Victoria turned to him and smiled. ''Except this time, we would have neither problem''

''Such talks we shared ma'am'' He replied quietly, and Victoria saw the sadness in his eyes.

Compassion crept through her, she had no idea why, but the impulse to assure him things would be ok swept through her.

She turned to him ''You can walk beside me you know, here we are equal'' She said kindly, her voice soft within the enclosed walls of the castle.

He smiled, stepping up to walk beside her, it felt strange, even in the palace he had to remain behind out of respect for The Queen.

V&M

Victoria felt the warm sunshine seep into her dress as she stood on a large stone bridge leading out to the castle's gardens, beneath it was a huge lake, still and clear, she could see her reflection as she looked into the water below before her eyes scanned over the grounds.

''I am glad you brought me here. But I have to ask, why did we come alone?'' Victoria turned to see him, his stance had changed slightly as he looked uneased by the question.

He walked towards her, standing beside her he looked over at the water as he leant on the wall of the bridge.  
''It was within your wishes ma'am, some of the outings are planned this way, I can change them if you wish, so more people can attend with us''

Victoria then remembered telling him of her worries at such a populated trip, a trip that was supposed to be for the two of them. He had done well to organise such things.  
''No'' She answered confidently ''I don't want that at all, your like in parliament has paid off Lord M, you have organised things very well''

''We all have our strengths and weaknesses ma'am'' He said quietly.

Victoria saw the sadness he carried, and she carried it to. The couple stood in silence for a few moments, side by side, thinking the same things over but neither being brave enough to bring the topic up. Both worried that it might end something very special.

''I cannot say that I agree with what you did'' Victoria said quietly ''And I cannot say im not hurt that you kept so much from me… but I understand why you did it, and that you went to such lengths because you care so much''

''I took each step forward whenever I found out what The King was planning next, but I did not have a plan, that's why this got out of hand'' He said quietly.

''You hold such compassion Lord Melbourne, and in the years that I have known you I have never been hurt or upset by you, so I cannot hold such actions against you. But I cannot overlook them straight away either''

''I do not expect you to forgive me for such actions ma'am, I have betrayed your trust and my position within our relations, and for that I am deeply sorry''

''I need you Lord M, I do not want you to leave my side''

''It is not within my nature to walk away ma'am'' He offered her a small smile which he received in return.

She linked her arm in his as the pair made their way back to the waiting carriage.

V&M

Victoria had enjoyed her dinner once returning home, the evenings light was still providing some warmth as a group sat outside in the setting sun, watching over the grounds as the light slowly began to fade.

''Drina came back in good spirits Lord Melbourne'' The Duchess spoke quietly to him beneath the noise of the conversation surrounding them.

Melbourne smiled a little ''I feel the time away has given Her Majesty some time to think'' He answered politely aware of his position towards The Duchess

''Well I am glad, you have kept my daughter safe, she will see your kindness'' The Duchess replied.

Victoria caught the pair talking. She saw her mother smile, she looked at ease Victoria noticed and couldn't help but wonder if she suspected something, and maybe perhaps even accepted it.

Everybody was enjoying the evening, the conversation was relaxed and flowing and the drinks kept being poured. Victoria noticed Lord Alfred take a letter from one of the servants, a feeling of dread fell into her stomach as she watched him hand it over to Lord Melbourne who stood and walked into a quiet corner of the room to open it.

She saw him read over the letter and visibly stiffen as he folded it. She looked away, everything inside her screamed to go over and ask what the letter was, but she remained still, wanting him to come to her and include her in such things.

To her relief he came over, bending down he whispered into her ear and the couple walked over towards the doorway, stepping into the house and walking towards a quiet part of the corridor.  
''My messenger at the palace has written to me ma'am'' He spoke slowly, sensing her anxiety

Victoria took a deep breath, trying to control the butterflies in her stomach ''Can I see?'' She asked, holding her hand out which remained very still.

He picked the letter out of his coat pocket and handed it to her. Victoria scanned over the paper, reading it a few times before handing it back to him. He saw she looked worried.  
''He cannot do this'' Victoria said as the panic began to rise

''Not whilst you're not in the country ma'am'' He answered her calmly

''I cannot marry Albert'' Victoria said as her breathing accelerated ''I do not love him'' She said quickly, slowly loosing control.

He placed a hand on her arm, feeling her tremble as she tried to look anywhere but the letter placed within his pocket ''Relax'' He said quietly comforting her ''We know what he is trying to do, we have the upper hand here. Besides, it may not be Albert who has been invited''

Victoria took a deep breath feeling a sense of control and his voice remained calm in her ears ''We will need to speak to the Privy Council first thing tomorrow, you cannot have them working within his favour''

''The Privy Council cannot agree to such nonsense, surely they will understand I am not willing to do this''

''It depends if he has anybody on his side ma'am, if he is giving a good enough argument he could change their opinions''

''Well then we have to stop them'' 

''I agree ma'am, but how is the question''

 _ **Ok, so I know there is a variety of stunning castles in France, I shall leave you to decide which one I am referring to. Obviously this fic is not historically correct so no criticism about the dates and times as I have literally no clue on either. As always thanks for reading, leave your thoughts or comments below, they are very much appreciated.**_


	36. Difference In Opinions

**Difference In Opinions**

It was very early. The sun had not long risen, casting a warm glow across the beautiful gardens below. Lord Melbourne sat at the table, very smartly placed beside the large window as he sipped at his coffee. The paper sat in front of him, as it did every morning. But his mind was to distracted to focus on such nonsense when his own world was so muddled.

He had not slept much last night, he had often fallen asleep with a troubled mind, so often in fact that he was used to it now. Yet last night, sleep did not come. He felt slightly powerless within this country, yet he knew Victoria was safer in France than she was in England.

He racked his brain for possible solutions ones that would ensure both Victoria's safety as a woman and as a Queen, but neither came with positive solutions.

A knock at the door made him jump, the servants had not even been round yet. He was still in his robe, half undressed and tired.

''Come in'' He said, his voice still rasped and tired.

As the door opened he saw Victoria step into the room. Placing his coffee down on the table he stood to greet her. She walked towards him still dressed for bed, a thin chemise covered by a light pink silk robe which went down to her feet.

She smiled towards him as she padded across the room, her feet still bare. She did not offer her hand to him, he should have known she wouldn't. He sat down as she sat opposite him and looked out of the window.

''I have the exact same thing in my room, the sun always meets the table first'' She spoke quietly as she looked across the grounds ''I have been watching it all for about an hour now'' She smiled over to him.

Her hair laid down across her shoulders, despite being in a state of undress she looked extremely beautiful to him. ''Would you like some coffee ma'am?''

Victoria nodded politely and watched Lord Melbourne stand and head over to a tray where a teapot and a coffee jar stood. As he brought back the hot cup and placed it beside her Victoria cradled the cup, feeling the warmth on her hands as she held it.

''I have been doing the same'' He said, looking back down at the grounds. ''Too much to think about'' He said, looking over to her.

Victoria smiled, he could sense her worry, and she had every right to be. Nobody should have to be in this position. ''We should inform your mother, she will want to know what is happening'' 

Victoria nodded ''We need to speak to the Privy council this morning, I need to ensure Uncle Leopold has no say over topics regarding the crown, and that no matter is to be raised whilst I am not in the country''

Melbourne nodded ''But we need to have some kind of plan sorted before we return to England ma'am. The King, if he is still in the country when you return he will have a plan in place, one of which we need to combat''

''He said he was leaving the palace. Why would he invite somebody else?''

''He does not have your blessing to do so ma'am, but there is no one of higher authority there at present''

''Perhaps we should leave, surely we have better control when we are in the country''

''The King is liable to be less secretive with nobody in the palace. Perhaps writing to him would help matters''

Victoria nodded before taking a sip at her coffee and leaning back on the chair. She looked relatively relaxed and something about the situation was rather endearing.

He smiled, releasing a small sigh as he to sipped at his coffee. Victoria looked from the window to see his reaction. ''What is it?'' She asked curiously

He shook his head as he placed his coffee down ''If somebody told me 2 years ago that I would be doing this I would have called them mad''

Victoria laughed ''Im almost certain people think I am mad Lord M''

''Perhaps they need to look a little closer then ma'am'' He replied

V&M

Victoria sealed the letter, two of which sat on her desk alongside her boxes, which had finally been completed.

Perhaps it was because they had something to focus on, or maybe just because they had cleared the air, but Victoria felt much more at ease around him now, the laughing, and occasional joke had resumed. Her ladies seemed happier and more relaxed within her company. Everything had almost settled down. Yet she couldn't help but feel as though being here was wrong, that she had willingly left her Uncle, despite unknown to her at the time, to arrange something cynical or life changing at the expense of her leaving for a few days break.

''Hopefully this will get to the palace before tonight, I may hear back from him'' She said as she placed the two letters on the tray, watching Lord Alfred take them away.

The one to the privy council was not urgent. Lord Melbourne had asked Victoria to write to The Duke, knowing that he was fully aware of the situation and the possible risks, he held a great influence in parliament, people tended to side with him as his decisions where sensible and rational. But more to the point, he understood what The King was planning.

The day slipped by. Victoria, Lord Melbourne and her ladies had been invited to The Kings palace for dinner, where they would stay the evening and then have the full tour the next day. Victoria then had to meet the French Parliament and see some of the works the country was proud of. This was one of the conditions that had to be applied to warrant her staying in the country. She had to show an interest.

But concern flooded her about a conversation they had the other night, one she planned so carefully to talk over, perhaps she could change The Kings mind.

V&M

Dinner was divine, as it had been before. ''The food is so much nicer here, don't you think?'' Victoria said quietly to Lord Melbourne who had been placed beside her at the table.

''I think your chef should have some lessons in France ma'am'' He smiled as he grabbed his drink and looked across the table at a group of happy people. He had not been so involved in such gatherings in many years.

Once Victoria had changed after dinner she found herself wandering through the corridors, slightly lost and almost deliberately so to. Each painting had a little plaque underneath it, detailing the date it was drawn, who by and why it is represented in the palace. The French King did not have the best reputation, yet he seemed to know what was within his home, and why he was so proud of it, for every painting had his signature on it.

''Your Majesty'' Victoria turned to see The King himself walking towards her, a large smile across his face.

''I am sorry for intruding'' Victoria said politely ''It seems very easy to get lost in this palace''

The King let out a loud, bellowing type of laugh which bounced off the corridors ''I have no secrets here, any room in my palace is free to be explored by my guests''

Victoria found the term to be rather untrue. But smiled anyway. ''I was hoping to talk to you''

''I see, what about'' He answered quietly, as the couple walked side by side down the hallway.

''The arranged marriage. Is it entirely necessary?''

The King lost his smile ''Unfortunately yes, my nephew is less than wise at such things you see''

''But surely giving him the chance to find somebody he loves would prove more beneficial to his happiness?'' Victoria argued

''Being happy does not warrant a peaceful life. You can love your husband, but it doesn't mean being Queen will be easy because of it. The public need to be accepting. My nephew has less than desirable standards in such cases''

Victoria listened carefully as he continued ''My descendants where all in arranged marriages, the choice of marrying for love has become a new choice, it is not one that has proven to be equal. Many of our past Kings lived happy, loving lives as they warmed to their wives and enjoyed their company''

''But you wish to marry your Nephew into Spanish royal blood, I believe it is not a popular choice'' Victoria questioned

''I like to broaden my families circle, did you not have a possible suitor from Coburg, I believe you turned him away'' The King argued back

''Yes'' Victoria replied quickly ''Albert was anything but what I was looking for, it was not a popular choice to deny him the way I did''

''I don't suppose it was, he seemed perfectly suited to the crown''

''But I do not wish to marry for convivence, I want to rule my country and lead a happy life, can you not have both?''

''It so rarely happens that way'' The King replied almost soberly.

''Perhaps think about it'' Victoria reasoned

The King smiled ''I shall do ma'am, but for now, we must find our company''

V&M

Victoria glanced over to the piano and felt herself blush a little, she did not play as well as people made out, she was sure of that. ''No'' She said slowly ''I am not good enough to entertain such people''

''Go on'' King Louis chided ''We shall be nice to you''

Victoria smiled, eyeing Lord Melbourne as she stood and walked slowly towards the piano.

She sat down behind the large piano, it was as like everything else in the palace exceptionally grand. The keys perfectly polished and the surface shining against the bright candles. She sat down on the padded seat and got herself comfortable before flicking through the sheets of music available.

The King has made sure an English version of the music was available as she read each title in the book before choosing one particular piece.

The music began to flow from the keys as she heard the cords strike beneath her fingers, the sound was deep and verbarated through her as the rest of the room fell silent, slowly but surely, she began to lose herself within the piano, as the music sheet became less and less needed the music continued to flow from the organ.

Victoria kept her eyes down on the keys, feeling the music flow through her fingers as she delicately tapped each key, working up and down the length of the piano.

As it came to an end she looked up, the silence of the room was defending before a wave of applause came flooding from the group sitting and watching. Victoria folded the music sheeting back up and stood from her seat, catching the figure of someone coming up from beside her.

The servant held a letter on the silver plate, Victoria took it and watched the servant bow and walk away slowly.  
She did not recognise the writing but guessing the only two letters where linked to her Uncle she assumed it contained something important. So, excusing herself from the company she quietly walked out into the corridor knowing, without asking that Lord Melbourne would follow her.

She had not told her mother yet, she intended to tell her after she had heard back from the palace.

''Ma'am'' Lord Melbourne's voice dragged Victoria's eyes away from the letter she held carefully within her hands, she did not recognise the writing, and knowing her uncles stamp it was not from him.

Victoria shared her worried expression, Lord Melbourne offered a nod as a form of assurance as he watched her open the letter.

Her face changed as she read the letter carefully ''Its from Lehzen'' She said looking up confused. ''Uncle Leopold left late last night''

Melbourne read over the letter carefully also, trying to make sense out of it.

''If he has left then who did he invite to the palace?'' Victoria asked confused.

Melbourne shrugged.

V&M

''Can you think of anyone who would be of use to The King at such a time?'' Lord Melbourne asked

Silence ensued the room as The Duchess sat thinking carefully ''I am sorry, I do not know anyone, in England or Germany who could be of use to him in such a case'' She replied sorrowfully ''What do you think he is planning on doing?'' 

''I believe he is trying to overrule the decisions that have already been made, perhaps to gain a better understanding of how to arrange a marriage or something worse''

''I think we should leave, I need to be in England'' Victoria said quickly

''No…'' Melbourne said firmly ''If you are a target then going into England will be like walking into a trap''

''But how are you going to find out what he is planning from France?'' Victoria argued

''I have my methods ma'am'' Melbourne assured her ''But we will have to wait for now''

''I do not see the reasonings behind such actions, surely by waiting you are giving him the option of gaining control'' Victoria retaliated defensively

''Trust Lord Melbourne'' The Duchess said calmly ''He understands these things better than what we do''  
Victoria had her doubts.

 _Back In England_

The palace was quiet, darkness had long since fell and the corridors where deserted. Lehzen walked through the darkened house, blowing out the last few remaining candles as she walked towards her own chambers, she walked the house every night, checking over certain areas as she went. But when the house was so quiet, it was almost pointless doing so.

Stepping into her chambers the darkness of the corridor ensued with the quiet. The door clicked and locked shut and for a few moments, nothing stirred.

Nearly an hour later, every light in the palace was out, the footsteps walked tenderly across the carpet, staying on the carpeted areas to avoid extra sound. Walking in darkness was somewhat difficult, each step could trigger a sound, one that could wake somebody up and raise the alarm.

With gloved hands the intruder carefully opened the door to Victoria's chambers creeping in and shutting the door quietly behind them.

Lighting a single candle, they walked over to the table where she did her boxes, there sitting and waiting sat some documents which, as promised required important attention for when she returned. Glancing over the pages to ensure they where correct the intruder folded them up and placed them within his coat pocket. As he walked towards the doorway once more, keen to leave before being found they caught sight of a hand-written list. It was not her writing; the intruder knew that much.

Grabbing the list and placing it with the other documents they blew out the candle and made their way to the doors, keen to exit the palace before the guards did their nightly rounds.

 _Back In France_

All of Victoria's guests where staying in the same corridor, The King had ensured the rooms where fit for royalty, and he had not been wrong.

She was sure she would have slept tonight, she had been so tired today, yet the more she laid thinking, the more awake she felt.  
If her Uncle left the palace then who did he invite over? Why did he invite someone? Perhaps Albert was on his way back. Victoria wanted to be at home, she wanted to gain control and understanding of the situation.

Lord Melbourne had been right, she did want to take things in both hands, and that could prove fatal to her, it was clear her Uncle was not messing around anymore.  
This upset her to. Her Uncle, whom she wrote to so often and looked forward to seeing him, was willing to hurt her to gain power. How upsetting.

Victoria huffed, her annoyance at so many things put sleeping at the back on her mind. She wondered if he would be asleep.

He was only a few doors down the corridor. Victoria wrapped her silk robe around her half naked body, feeling the cold nip up her bare legs and cut into her feet as she quickly made her way towards his room.

She didn't bother to knock in case she disturbed the others sleeping either side of his room. It would not be fair. Walking in she saw the equally large room to be in masses of darkness, her candle showing a small raised figure in the bed, covered by the duvet. He looked still, but she was unsure if her eyes where playing tricks on her.

Walking quietly over to the bed she placed the candle down on the table beside the bed, slipping her feet under the covers and enjoying the warmth it offered her almost immediately. She leant up against the bed frame for a minute, staring into the darkness as she listened to his deep, slow breathing.

Her eyes suddenly felt heavy as her ears focused on nothing else. The stress of the day seemed to disperse as she enjoyed the quiet surrounding her. Slowly, as to not disturb him she leaned over and blew out the candle, before gently slipping into the bed, laying beside him but not to touch him.

She could never hold anything against him, she thought as her eyes slowly drifted shut, for even when she didn't need anything else, she still needed him. 

_**Long time since the last update, I write ahead, like chapters ahead, but I don't always get the time to read them and check for mistakes before publishing. Hope it was worth the wait to all my regulars, leave a comment below. Thanks for reading!**_


	37. Cherished Moments

**Cherished Moments.  
**

_**M rating for this chapter. You have been warned.**_

He awoke slowly, drifting in and out of a light sleep as he slowly came around to the sunlight creeping its way into his room. Casting a warm light through the gaps in the curtains.

He blinked as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light. He remained still, feeling a warmth beneath the covers. But, as he became more awake he felt the presence of somebody else. Turning his head he saw her, laying there, facing him, her eyes still closed and her hair laying loose behind her. She was breathing deeply as she remained asleep.

He frowned, trying to think back to what happened last night, almost as though there had to be a reason. She still did not trust him, and he knew that forgiveness was not on the cards either. So, why was she in here.  
He was overthinking it. He told himself quickly as though shutting down his mind for a moment. He remembered trying to persuade her to trust him, she had always trusted him implicitly, so much so that if he asked or advised her to do anything it was an immediate yes, or ok. So to see her so hesitant now hurt him. It was his own stupid fault, he should have told her from the beginning. Although certain aspects of the plans and attacks worked better with her lack of knowledge on such situations. It had given him the upper hand.

His mind was his own worst enemy, he had forgotten when he last awoke to her beside him. How good it felt to share such intimacy with somebody. Those few moments in the morning when nothing else should matter. Where your company with each other should be enough.

He had gotten used to that over the years and taken advantage of it. But knowing what it felt like to wake up alone meant he would never do such a thing again.

She stirred for a moment, not waking up, but rolling further into his side, laying her body against his as she laid a hand across his bare chest before falling still once more.  
Such tranquillity should never be missed or ignored. He thought to himself as he felt her breathing against his side, closing his eyes he cherished the moment. Because he was unsure if he would ever get it again.

V&M

''The Queen is not in her room'' Mrs Skerrett said quietly in Emma's ear. The lady in waiting had sent the dresser after Victoria as had yet to emerge from her room.

The statement didn't shock Emma, perhaps it surprised her a little. But she was used to that now. Nodding to the dresser Emma continued in the conversation that surrounded her.

Mrs Skerrett walked out of the room, smiling to herself as she headed back towards the staff quarters.

V&M

Victoria opened her eyes slowly, blinking to the bright light within the room. Her arm resting over his body as she moved to sit up, realising where she was.  
She rolled over onto her back once more, rubbing her eyes with her hand as she looked up at the ceiling, taking in the fine detail engraved across it. The flowers looked similar to the ones engraved on the walls of the palace, with small birds dotted around the vines for added detail.  
''Beautiful, isn't it'' His voice caused her to look at him. Truthfully it was all she wanted to do since she woke up, but something stopped her. She did not regret sleeping with him, it had been the best nights sleep she had had in weeks, however the mood still remained awkward, almost as though the topic was entirely avoided.

She looked at him. God he was handsome, his features never changed, even when he was in a state of undress, when his hair was messy from sleep, or when his voice was husky as he spoke for the first time in the morning.

She couldn't tear her eyes away from his, seeing something within them that made her want to know more.  
''You're not even looking at it'' She smiled as she turned to look back up, her head laying flat on the soft pillow.

''I have found that cherishing certain moments, as simple as they may be, is something not to be overlooked''

Victoria turned to see his smile, small, and almost in significant. But it was there. ''And what are you cherishing?'' She had to ask.

''You'' He replied plainly

She couldn't help but smile. He spoke with such dignity and honesty when they where alone, sharing every thought with no hesitation. She looked back up at the engraved ceiling. ''I couldn't sleep last night, and somehow ended up in here, I didn't want to disturb you. So by waiting for you to wake I suppose I fell asleep''

''I am not complaining ma'am'' He replied quietly.

Victoria released a little laugh, still trying to understand why she came here last night, she was still living in the past a little, going over what was said and done. But found the longer it went on, the harder it was to keep up with everyday life. ''I needed the company'' She admitted ''I have been terribly lonely of late, surrounded by people who are paid to be beside me rather than someone who cares for me'' She turned to look at him again, moving her entire body to face his. His smile had gone as she searched her face, seeing the sadness she held there.

''Your people are there because they care for you ma'am, their wages make no difference'' He said quietly, trying to reassure her.

''They do not have a choice'' Victoria argued ''It would be an insult to walk away from The Queen''

''But they are people ma'am, with their own minds and emotions, if they did not want to be here they would not''

Victoria hummed, still looking into his eyes. ''You seem sad'' She replied.

He sighed ''Regretfully so''  
''Why?''

''Because, I have lost you. It was hard before, loosing a loved one consumes your life into a darkness unknown to others. It deprives you of happiness and enjoyment and encourages you to do daily tasks in mourning ways. I did not think I would feel such happiness and belonging again. But I have, and now, like a flash of lightening, it has gone''

She really saw it then, perhaps it was because they where alone, that he didn't feel the reason to hide anything, or perhaps he tried to and no longer could. Either way she saw the genuine pain, hurt and guilt in his eyes, and she related to it. As she felt the same.

''You are not alone Lord M'' She placed her hand on his cheek, feeling the warm skin beneath it. ''And no matter how hard I try to, I cannot be angry at you for trying to protect me''

She watched him close his eyes, feeling into the touch she offered him ''Happiness is not fleeting, it does not disappear after some time, perhaps it is hidden from view in certain circumstances, but it is still there'' She whispered, watching his eyes open and lock onto hers once more. ''You have to create moments of happiness, not wait for them'' She smiled as her voice began to crack. Reliving words of advice she received over the years of her miserable life at Kensington. Words she listened to but did not understand until now.

They held such emotion and truth, so much knowledge in someone so young, she did not think herself smart, but certain things he still did not understand, and yet here they were, teaching each other, and growing as one.

He searched her eyes as she did his, something pulled him towards her, no matter what the circumstances he was looking for her, her company, support, help, guidance, love. Whatever he needed she seemed to have it. He could not recall feeling that way with Caro.

He didn't dwell on the thought to much, for if he did he wouldn't do it. He just hoped she took it the right way, the way he was silently begging her to.

He moved his head closer to hers, sharing the same air before kissing her chastely on the lips, it was a brief kiss, fleeting, yet seemed to last for ages as he slowly parted from her, looking up to see her eyes closed. They remained like that for a moment, inches from each other as Victoria found his eyes once more. Something changed for her then, she couldn't place what it was. But she no longer felt the hurt and anger that dwelled her brain constantly. She felt her sense of belonging, as a quiet, peaceful air covered her mind, dulling all the worrying thoughts she had going on.

She kissed him back, pulling her body flush against his as her hand found his face and chest. The contact was sudden and came as a surprise to him as his hands crept round her waist, holding her close as she deepened the kiss.

It was a slow sort of kiss but held so much feeling. Victoria began to feel the butterflies in her stomach as his hands travelled up and down her side, never straying any further, as though that line, despite their perfect circumstances, was not to be crossed. She found an unrequited love for him, and his gentlemanly manner then.  
But she found she wanted more, it had been so long since she felt his touch, in ways that lead to those wonderful feelings he often made her feel, the moments where all she could do was beg and scream, where nothing else mattered in the world but the two of them. She wanted those feelings, and she was sure he did to.

She linked her arms around his neck, still kissing him, nipping at his bottom lip just as he did hers, offering herself to him as she quickened her actions slightly, trying to make her intentions clear.

Victoria pulled against him as she laid on her back, encouraging him to lay above her, He never parted from her, but he smiled against her lips as he climbed on top of her, hovering his top half above her as he continued to kiss her.

His hands began to travel more now, feeling across her chest and stomach, following the lines and curves of her body, gently pressing against certain areas before being featherlike in other places. Her skin began to tingle as that delicious feeling built between her legs.

He moved down to kiss her neck, nipping at the skin behind her ear just a little to harshly perhaps, she jumped pressing her body to his for a second before hitting the bed again. She sighed and moaned, one hand in his hair and the other exploring his back, feeling the contours of muscle there. How she had missed his body.

Then his hand found her breast, nipping at the erect nipple quickly, eliciting a gasp from her, she was still clothed, only just. One thin chemise covered her body from his. The duvet covering them both from the cooler air in the bedroom. She wanted it off, she wanted to feel his skin on hers.

''Take it off'' She said breathlessly, holding her arms up as he sat up slightly, lifting the chemise up her body, enabling Victoria to sit up and remove it completely.

He had to admire her body, how beautiful it was. Before leaning back down, pressing his groin into her side, eliciting a gasp from her as her wide eyes searched his briefly before closing.

He was wearing night clothes, only covering his bottom half as she ran her hands up his bare chest and across his abdomen, feeling the new scars he held there.

His kisses moved down to her breasts then, and as his mouth found her nipple she almost cried, the sensitive shock sent waves of pleasure right down to her core, lighting a fire of desire and want as she became more vocal, needier, the more he teased her.

She felt him smile against her skin, he lightened up on his actions for a while, calming that fire before moving onto the other breast.

She parted her legs, her bare body was able to guide him to sit between her legs, wrapping herself around him as he did so.  
He pushed down, his erection pressing against her, just In the right place. The cotton trousers he wore where becoming a hinderance as Victoria pressed harder against him, trying to create the friction she wanted from him.

He was as impatient as her, but something willed him to drag it out, to make her beg and plead, perhaps to savour her body for longer than needed, he found he never tired of her touch, and had so many things to explore with her, certain things he wanted to save for after their marriage. There would always be lines even he would not cross.

His hand moved down between their two bodies, squeezing her thigh as he slowly moved towards her centre.

He vaguely heard the word please. Although he may have imagined it as he looked at Victoria, her head back, neck exposed, mouth open and eyes firmly shut as her body focused all its attention on his hand, one that was taking its sweet time in giving her what she wanted.

As he reached between her legs, dipping into her centre she moaned louder, he groaned as his desperation built, his own desire pushing him on, making him more and more uncomfortable.

It was probably the worst timed moment of all time, but the knock on the door caused both to jump out of their skin.

Victoria gasped and almost held her breath as they both stilled completely. The second knock was more severe, Melbourne knew he would have to answer it, his head falling against her chest as he sighed his fustration.  
''You have to answer it'' Victoria whispered

''They will go away in a minute'' He replied in a hushed tone.

''If you don't answer it they will get worried and come looking again'' Victoria said firmly but exceedingly quietly as she pushed against him, encouraging him to sit up.

He looked down at the naked woman laying in his bed, breathing heavy and waiting, his own desire now extremely uncomfortable as he sighed in annoyance. ''By the time they come back we shall be ready to leave the room'' He pleaded

''William, answer the damned door'' Victoria said quickly, swatting his arm as his face etched with pain and desperation brought a playful air to the current mood.

''Whoever is behind that door had better have a bloody good reason'' He snapped in response

Victoria covered her mouth as she tried not to laugh, quickly pulling the covers over her body as he stood from the bed and grabbed his robe concealing his… situation from whoever was behind the door.

He turned to see Victoria slowly cover her head with the duvet, concealing herself from sight. He opened the door a little to harshly. ''What!'' He said firmly as he eyed Lord Alfred.

''I am terribly sorry sir, but your boxes are here, and I have a letter for you from the palace'' Lord Alfred replied awkwardly.

Lord Melbourne suddenly felt very sheepish for being so rude. ''I am terribly sorry Lord Alfred'' he said quietly ''I did not sleep well last night, could you leave the boxes in the room The King has arranged for myself and The Queen to do the boxes in, along with the letter. I shall be down shortly to meet Her Majesty'' He smiled.

Lord Alfred nodded and smiled in return turning to walk away. He shut the door. He knew he should have opened the letter, but the timing was not right, he wanted to cherish the moment he held right there, the moment he was sharing with his soon to be wife, sometimes the most important things are overruled by the simpler things.

Victoria pulled her head from beneath the covers, smiling as he walked over to her, sitting on the edge of the bed he pulled his trousers down and slipped off his robe. Revealing his naked body to her in the morning's light.

She wanted to say something witty or funny, but found her mouth to be completely dry and her throat free of words as she looked over his naked form.

Slipping beneath the covers he climbed on top of her once more, a smirk covering his face as he pressed his weight down into hers once more. ''Now, where were we'' Victoria smiled and giggled quietly in response.

He kissed her again, his hands began exploring her taught body once more, as hers slipped across his back, one moving down to his groin, grasping his hardness within her bare hand.  
He groaned, a deep guttural type of groan, pushing himself into her hand further as he kissed her breasts, using his teeth against her nipples as his other hand slipped down between her legs.

He did not want to tease her, or make her beg now, he did not want to wait any longer.  
He knew she was ready, but as his hand teased her sex he saw her begin to breathe heavier, her legs parted further as she willed him to do more. Her eyes snapped open as he stopped, lifting his body above her once more.

Their bodies met once more as he guided himself into her, he stilled for a moment, trying to control the flush of want and need, to stop himself from loosing control completely. He felt her accommodate him perfectly as she wrapped her legs around him, encouraging him to move.

She moaned louder this time as he began to move, his body flushed with pleasure as her sighs and moans got louder, driving him on as she met his thrusts with perfect accuracy, their bodies so in tune with each other that such an act was effortless. 

He tried to control himself as his thrusts began to match hers at a quickened pace, she was willing him on, she wanted him to speed up. To lose control.

And he did, just as she asked him.

Her moans became very loud as she began to plead with him, singing sweet mercies into his ear as her cries got louder, he bent down as he felt his own climax reaching alongside hers. He felt her body begin to clench around him in that way he had never felt before, it was enough for him to slip over the edge, pushing himself into her harder as he reached his peak, kissing her firmly as she cried into his mouth reaching her own climax before they both slowed and stilled together.

They where both sweating slightly as their breathing slowed, he rested his head beside hers, their bodies still joined as the pleasure began to die. He loved that bit, the part where your mind was still, reeling from those delightful feelings.

He parted from her slowly and laid beside her, watching her breathing return to normal as she turned and smiled at him. Turning her body to face his.

He smiled at her, as she smiled in return. Her cheeks pink and flushed as he kissed her swollen lips softly before pulling her into his frame.

He nestled there for a moment. ''Lord Alfred could have seen me'' She said against his chest.

''I hope, that in due course it will not be a problem'' He replied tentatively.

She pulled away from him and looked confused. ''What do you mean, you hope?'' She asked.

He hesitated ''Marriage ma'am, perhaps I worded it incorrectly. I am unsure as to your wishes to continue with our marriage or not''

She placed a hand delicately on his cheek, a silent reassurance ''I want nothing more, than to do you the honour'' She smiled.

He breathed a sigh of relief, it was a concern he had suffered since confessing to her on the ship, her rejection would have been understood. But he was unsure how he would have coped with it.

''We should probably get up, it is late, your boxes are waiting'' He said with a smile, one of which subsequently reflected her annoyance to.

He sat up from his bed, Victoria remained under the covers as she watched his naked form stand and grab his robe, he was in no rush to put it on as he walked away from the bed, slowly pulling it across his back and slipping his arms into his sleeves. He walked over to the doorway, turning to make sure the naked woman in his room was covered from view, before slowly opening the door and stepping outside. A few seconds later the door opened again, and in came a tray with hot water with some tea and coffee beside it.

''Where did you get that?'' Victoria said quickly as she sat up in bed and watched him proceed to make the hot drinks.

''I asked last night for it to be left outside my bedroom door for this morning. You cannot function without such things in the morning''

Victoria laughed as she watched him move about the room, doing different things to get ready. It was not something she had witnessed before, usually they parted ways and met in a different place later. But, because of the situation, Victoria daren't leave the room. ''Do you have a robe I could wear?'' She asked from the bedside, as he brought over a cup of tea.

He smiled and nodded, walking off to find her a robe to wear.

V&M

Their conversation was replaying itself in her mind as she walked down to meet him in their boxes room. The palace was beautiful, and so finely detailed, from the floor to the walls to the ceiling, and all the bits imbetween. Everywhere she looked there was something to admire.

As she walked into the room provided she saw him, already working on the papers awaiting them. She had begged to stay in the room longer, to enjoy those moments of comfortable company, no duties, no visitors, just the two of them. But he had of course insisted on the right thing to do.

The dresser had by Lord Melbourne been instructed to dress Victoria in his room. The chances of being seen in this new palace by unknowing staff was to high. He did not want rumours to spread. The dresser already knew, and her discretion was obvious.

He looked over to her, her face was bright, her hair tidy and her dress simple yet elegant. Whatever she wore, in whatever style, she looked beautiful.  
He stood from his seat, bending down and kissing her hand respectfully. Something about the action was intimate, especially considering what had occurred just an hour earlier.

''Good morning ma'am, I trust you slept well'' He stood and sat himself down once more.

''Very well, thank you'' Victoria said politely as she looked down at her overflowing boxes. Her eyes locking on to a letter which was addressed to Lord Melbourne.

''This is yours'' Victoria lifted the letter up, seeing his face changed as he remembered what Lord Alfred had said.

''Yes, I completely forgot. He did mention a letter'' Standing from his seat he walked around the large table and took the letter from her.

As he opened it he felt that heavy bearing of worry and stress fall onto his shoulders once more, his heart accelerated as the anxiety began to flood through him.

The read the letter carefully. Victoria studied his reactions as they gradually seemed to change.

''What does it say?'' She asked

He handed the letter over to her. Victoria read the single sentence.

 _Melbourne,_

 _I know._

 _Yours,_

''What does he know? And who wrote the letter?'' Victoria said quickly, looking over to Lord Melbourne's reactions.

''I don't know'' he replied honestly. ''It is not the man who is keep an eye on things, his writing is different to that''

''So somebody else knows?'' Victoria pressed.

''It would seem so ma'am'' He said gravely

''But what do they know?''

''I have absolutely no idea'' Lord Melbourne replied.

 _ **My smut seems to take up entire chapters! But it isn't a bad thing for anybody who prefers to skip things like this and stick with the plot! As always, thanks for reading, sorry for the slow updates. Leave a comment if you have time**_ __ __


	38. Memories

**Memories**

The carriage pulled up outside the large house where Victoria and her guests where staying. The King had garunted a pleasant stay in his palace, and for the two days Victoria had stayed there it was exactly that. France was her new favourite country.

She hopped out. Now that the meetings of the French Parliament and the Royals had been done they could enjoy the country, and what it had to offer.  
As she walked up the steps, there, waiting for her was Lord Melbourne. His smile held such promise as he stood patiently with his hands behind his back.

Victoria felt since sleeping beside him the other night he had softened around her, despite other people being with her. Perhaps it was the joy of being forgiven. She could not quite tell, but either way it made her very happy.

''I trust your trip was a pleasant one ma'am'' He said, bowing and kissing her hand.

Victoria smiled ''Indeed Lord M'' As she walked beside him into the house.

V&M

France was a beautiful country, and as the days slipped by more and more of it was seen by Victoria. Every sight was new, exciting and full of history she did not know. The entire group seemed to approve of Lord Melbourne's plans, everybody admired the country for the beauty that it was.

''Where tomorrow Lord Melbourne?'' Emma asked over the table at dinner.

Everybody looked over to The Priminister who looked as relaxed as what he did with Victoria when they where alone. ''It is a surprise, you shall have to wait and see'' He smiled, knowing he had left the best till last.

''We have the dance tomorrow evening, with the French King and his guests'' Victoria said quickly. ''It will be interesting to see if they have the same traditions as what we have''

People hummed in agreement as they continued to enjoy their food.

''Excuse me Majesty'' A Servant from the doorway approached Victoria, holding a letter on a silver platter for her.

Victoria placed down her knife and fork, smiling she opened it, reading it over carefully.

''She didn't loose her smile but merely said quietly ''It would seem Uncle Cumberland wishes to talk to me when I return, he is in England'' She said slightly concerned.

''Seems rather strange that he would write to you just to tell you that ma'am'' Lord Melbourne said cautiously.

''Yes'' Victoria replied. ''Very strange. Mama, do you know anything about this'' Victoria looked over to her mother.

The Duchess shook her head in response ''I am sorry, I have no clue what he could want''

Lord Melbourne had to assume the worst. He never liked Cumberland, his actions where deceitful and he constantly put Victoria down. Victoria didn't like him either, she called him a bully, somebody who looked down on people rather than equally.

As the evening progressed on people began to retire. Leaving Victoria, her ladies and Lord Melbourne left.

''I am planning on retiring when Lord Melbourne retires. You may retire'' Victoria said to her ladies as she took hold of her glass. The wine sitting in the bottom was yet to be finished.

Emma looked over to Lord Melbourne, who smiled at her concerned expression. But as Victoria instructed they left the room.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the crackling fire and voices in the corridor grow fainter, until everything was silent.  
She looked over to him, to find him looking at her. The light shining off his face as the fire blazed in front of them making him look different. Younger maybe.

Victoria couldn't help but feel sometimes things would be much easier if he were younger.

''You think my Uncle Cumberland was the person who Leopold invited to the palace'' Victoria said quietly.

It was not a question but a statement. ''I am afraid so ma'am'' He replied ''Although I am not sure what use he would be''

''My Uncle is from Hannover he and my Uncle Leopold shared many conversations and similar interests. He and Sir John where awfully controlling''

''Yes, I remember ma'am. It doesn't explain the letter''

''I cannot answer that'' Victoria said sadly ''All I know is that My Uncle can be very nasty in the wrong mind'' Victoria replied worriedly

''Well, he shall not do such a thing when I am around'' Lord Melbourne replied firmly ''You are older now, you have no reason to submit to his actions''

Victoria smiled. ''You are not worried people will suspect something between us?'' She asked quietly.

He moved to sit closer to her, changing his seat as he grasped her hand gently and held it between the two chairs. ''I hope that people shall know about our marriage soon ma'am'' He said quietly ''I do not want to hide in the shadows when we return to England''

Victoria smiled at his words ''I agree, but something has changed your mind rather quickly'' She stated.  
''You do not realise what you have to hold on to until it has gone'' Lord Melbourne replied slowly, searching her eyes.

''But I am still here'' She said firmly, squeezing his hand. ''I never left''

''But I felt you did. I felt you could never forgive me, you would never love me in such a devoting way again'' He said sadly ''And then, I realised what I had lost, was the only reason I was living for''

''Don't say that Lord M'' Victoria said quickly, swallowing the lump in her throat.

''Love is just a word. Until you find someone to give it a definition'' He said quietly, looking down at her hand, clasped in his own.

Victoria felt a tear slip down her cheek. ''France has changed you'' She said with a small laugh, using her free hand to finish the wine in her glass. ''Are you ready to retire?'' She said, standing from her chair.

He nodded and stood also. Following her out of the room.

They had found that it was difficult to sleep apart from each other since that night in The Kings palace. The beds seemed bigger, colder, and lonelier than what they where before. Neither wanted to be apart, and as the marriage proposal began to sink in, the risks seemed to be less important.

The environment was relaxed. Victoria was safe in the house, nobody felt the need to check on her or follow her around as much, giving her a little more freedom, just like she had when they took a trip to Windsor or Brocket Hall.

Victoria opened the door to his bedroom, the well-lit room housed just him as she saw him glancing over a newspaper sitting on his desk. Victoria slipped off the robe she was wearing, revealing a thin deep blue silk chemise underneath, the fabric was soft against her skin as she climbed in the bed, watching him do the same.

He ran his hands down the silk as she cuddled up to him, sighing his approval as the thin fabric allowed him to feel her body beneath it.  
''Do you think people will be accepting of our marriage?'' Victoria asked as her head was pressed against his chest.

''I think they will take some convincing ma'am'' He said quietly.

Victoria hummed as she closed her eyes.

V&M

The next morning when she awoke, the bed was empty. Sliding her hand across empty space to try to reach him she realised she was alone. Blinking as she came around, Victoria sat up and looked across the room, only to find him sitting at his desk, intently reading a page in the paper whilst sipping at his coffee. She sat up, leaning against the headboard as she watched him carefully.

She felt a sense of giddiness as she observed the mundane yet exceedingly special sight before her. Not one person could ruin this moment for them.

He looked up, seeing her sitting up in bed he smiled ''Good morning'' He said his eyes falling on the silk chemise she was wearing. ''Sleep well''

Victoria smiled and nodded as she watched him walk over to the bed, sitting on it and moving to sit beside her, he was still undressed, his robe covering his body from view.  
He looked down her slender frame, tracing a finger along the silk chemise.

Victoria tried not to think to much about the action as the butterflies began to flutter in her stomach.

''This was very comfortable last night'' He said as he continued to trace the fabric. ''But also very alluring''

His voice was deeper, as he looked up at her, she was biting down on her bottom lip, her breathing was swallow and her skin tingling to his touch.

He reached up, pulling her bottom lip from her teeth and running his thumb along it, causing her mouth to open slightly, she closed her eyes for a second, enjoying his touch.

''As much as I would like to continue this, we have a lot planned for today'' He said slowly, seeing her eyes open to find his. He saw the annoyance on her face.

''That was intentional'' She said quickly, trying hard not to smile at his little joke. She did not mind the teasing, although it irritated her that he found it so easy to get such reactions out of her.

He laughed. Lifting his head up to place a delicate kiss on her lips. ''Im sorry'' He said in defence  
''But I am telling the truth, this is very alluring'' He placed his hand on the delicate fabric again.

Victoria kissed him before he had a chance to continue, moving from beneath the covers she pushed against him and straddled his lap, the chemise rising up to accommodate her change of stance, his hands immediately fell to her waist, pushing her body up closer to his own, feeling the warmth of her skin through his robe.

She was not shy, not in the slightest, and he loved that about her. Her kiss was hungry and passionate, nipping on his bottom lip and drawing his lips to her own in an urgent kind of way, her hands moved down to the ties around his robe, quickly undoing them and pulling it free, allowing her hands to slip up his chest.

He began to reciprocate, his hands slipped up her bare thighs, going beneath the chemise to her silk like skin beneath, gripping her hips and pulling them down towards his groin.  
Then without warning Victoria stopped, moved from his lap and then stood from the bed. Her chemise slipped down to its correct position and she walked across the room in a bid to find her own robe.

She turned to look at him, a face of pure surprise and a playful look crossed his face as he realised he had just been made the joke.

V&M

''So, your saying that when we return to England im going to be inundated with royal duties'' Victoria said as she almost to aggressively stamped a document and put it to one side.

''Unfortunately ma'am, yes'' Lord Melbourne spoke calmly without looking up

''On top of the announcement'' Victoria added.

''What announcement! Do pray tell'' The French accent caused both Victoria and Melbourne to look up quickly. Victoria almost pinched herself for being so foolish as she glanced at her near terrified Prime Minister.

She stood for her host and smiled ''All will be revealed in due course'' She said calmly, but her face suggested the secret was surprising.

The King smiled ''A good one I hope''

''Very good'' Victoria smiled clasping her hands together at her waist ''What can we do for you?''

''I just came to make sure everything was ok for the dance tonight, I have many guests looking forward to meeting you'' The King looked over to Lord Melbourne as he spoke as well as Victoria.

''We are all looking forward to it'' Victoria said with a warm, friendly voice.

''Good, I am very glad'' The King said ''Well I shall not interrupt you during your work. I know how tiring these boxes can be'' He winked at Victoria and smiled to Lord Melbourne as he walked out of the room.

Victoria shared the same worried expression to her companion before smiling and laughing. ''Crisis averted'' She said in defence.

The Priminister hummed his disapproval, silently begging his heart to stop pounding. Perhaps he should remind her? Gossip would spread, despite being in another country they could be faced with an uproar upon returning should anybody find out about an English marriage, a morganatic marriage for that matter, being announced in France.

V&M

''So where are we going?!'' Victoria said from the carriage

''Wait and see'' He replied calmly to her constant nagging and pushing, it was clear Victoria was not a fan of surprises.

''I cannot stand not knowing things'' She argued ''I am used to having control''

''Have any of the trips I have organised been unfulfilling?''

''Well… no''

''Right then, so just enjoy the surprise'' He said smiling at her.

The sunshine was warm on the two of them as the carriage was open topped, pulled by two dark bay horses. The echoing sound of their shoes hitting the cobbled roads to the quiet streets of France was a far cry from the busy streets of London. The air seemed clearer and such trips where far more pleasant. But, Victoria found she was missing the busy noise of the city.

They seemed to be travelling into the middle of France this time, the streets got busier and people began to appear in bigger numbers. Victoria started to see the well spoke about Eiffel Tower, she had seen drawings, but never the real thing, and had quickly forgotten about it with all the things she had to deal with on a daily basis. 

''I read about this!'' She said quickly, turning to face him.

He loved seeing the excitement spread across her face, how such little things sent such joy to her, and that in return made him happy.

''Yes ma'am, it is relatively new, but has been considered a structure to behold by all''

Victoria kept her eyes fixed on the tower as it became clearer and clearer into view.

It was clear The King had again shut off the tower from the public for today, as the place was virtually deserted, walking past the guards Victoria tilted her head back, looking up at the length of the tower.

''It is such a shame you cannot go up into the tower, I am sure the view would be incredible'' She turned to face him.

''Perhaps ma'am, but even if we could I would not, I am rather afraid of heights you see''

Victoria turned to face him. ''Are you?''

He nodded as he walked behind her, watching her intently as she explored the tower, the base right to the very top, or as far as her eye could see.  
''If we had more time I would sketch this'' She said quickly ''Perhaps when we come next time'' She said with a smile.

''There will be a next time ma'am?'' He asked

''Oh yes'' She replied.

V&M 

''So, what do you think?'' Victoria turned to the dresser who stood looking at her and smiling.

''Stunning ma'am, you will have many admirers tonight'' Mrs Skerrett replied politely

''I only need one though'' Victoria replied quietly, turning to her knowing dresser.

''Of course ma'am, and he will be a very lucky'' The dresser replied before bowing and leaving the room.

Victoria made her way to her ladies, all dressed up and waiting patiently for The Queen.

V&M

As the carriages pulled up outside the crowded palace Victoria stepped out onto a carpet which ran up the steps and into the palace itself. The noise of voices, music and laughter echoed around her as she walked up the steps, already turning heads with her chosen attire for the evening.

As she walked in through the doors the long corridor was decorated with large bouquets of flowers along either side so many feet apart, ribbons and bows filled in the gaps as she made her way along the corridor, her ladies following behind. People bowed and admired her as she walked past, politely smiling, nodding and waving to the guests who greeted her.

Finally down at the end of the long corridor, was the ball room. It was easily double the size of the one at Buckingham palace, far more modern and grand. Victoria looked across the large room already half filled with people as they chatted in groups. But she only really looked for one person, and when her eyes met his, she couldn't help but smile at his reaction.

 _And when we go to France. Bring that dress_ His words. Deep and laced with desire from that terribly exciting evening at Her Uncle Leopold's goodbye dance. Rung in her ears. It was the first thing she had instructed the next morning, from the dress right down to the jewellery she wore with it. Everything was the same. Even the tiara.

He didn't look anywhere else, he simply couldn't, and in a room of almost complete strangers he had no opinions, no rumours, no gossip to endure. He was allowed to admire her. He reached her, looking her up and down as he kissed her hand, his eyes never leaving hers.  
''What a vision you look ma'am'' Lord Melbourne finally replied. ''I hope you are to save me a dance this evening''

''Perhaps'' Victoria said, as she smiled politely.

''Victoria'' That French accent came up from beside him ''And Lord Melbourne! how smart you both look tonight, I hope everything is to your liking?''

Victoria placed both of her hands within The Kings ''Everything has been to our liking all week. Our stay has been simply wonderful, Hasn't it Lord M''

The Priminister nodded in agreement.

The King smiled at them both before eyeing something on Victoria's wrist. ''May I ask, what is this?'' He gestured to the labels on her gloves.  
''They are dance cards'' Victoria said, slightly confused ''Do you not use them here?''

The King laughed ''No, goodness no. We dance with whoever and whenever we want'' He said quickly.

''What happens if you dance with the same person twice?'' Victoria asked, clearly confused by the new rules.

''Nothing!'' The King answered, you are to enjoy your time at a dance, and enjoy who you dance with!'' He pointed out.

Victoria smiled as she watched the King walk off. She pulled the labels off of her wrist handing them to Lord Melbourne who placed them carefully within his coat pocket.

The environment was rather enjoyable, one of the nicest dances Victoria had been to in a long while. Compared to the ones in England these where so much nicer, the informal structure of the dance seemed to put everybody at ease. Lord Melbourne included.

''You are making the most of this aren't you?'' Emma asked Lord Melbourne

''Indeed I am Emma'' He said quickly, looking back over to Victoria

''Vickie seems much happier, you must have done something to lift her spirits'' Emma pressed.

He turned to his friend and smiled. ''Do not worry Emma, all will be revealed in due course''

Emma smiled as she watched him walk away. ''That's what im worried about'' Emma replied quietly.

Victoria danced with many young princes, many older men, members of the French Parliament, cousins and The King himself. She had done nothing but smile and laugh the entire evening, with the odd glass of wine thrown in for good measure. But she felt happy. Genuinely happy.

''May I have the honour'' He asked as Victoria turned to face him. Her smile changed, it was a warm, inviting kind of smile, and it struck him on a personal level.

Victoria grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her, something that, In England would be sorely frowned upon and quickly stopped, but in this country, it was overlooked completely.

Victoria sighed ''What a wonderful place'' She smiled as she danced across the room with him. ''With such freedom comes great happiness I feel''

''Indeed ma'am, your vibrance is being admired from all across the room. No face paint required''

Victoria realised then that many of the women where admiring her, and she looked nothing like them. Their culture fascinated her, in ways she would never be able to describe to the people in London. But this was like an escape. One which she aimed to return to.

Victoria glanced at her mother, who was dancing with an older man. The smile on The Duchess's face was a picture to Victoria, who had not seen her mother look so relaxed in years.  
''I think everybody has enjoyed France, but I am awfully glad you came with us''  
''The pleasure has been all mine ma'am'' He replied quietly.

''Do you like the dress'' She said as they began spinning together.

He pressed his hand into her back, encouraging her to step a little closer into his frame, offering Victoria her answer immediately ''Of course, although I feel some flowers would have enhanced it slightly'' He smiled.

''I dare not use French flowers, a certain Priminister could have taken offence to it''

''Offence to you ma'am, never'' He replied quickly.

As the dance finished Victoria stepped away, watching him bow respectfully as he slowly released her hand.

She stood aside from the dancing for a while, she was sure she had danced more than enough as she watched the couples enjoy a slower dance. She noticed many couples danced closer than others, almost pressed against each other as some dances slowed right down. Perhaps they where married, Victoria thought to herself.

As she stood, sipping her wine he came and stood beside her.  
''So tell me'' Victoria spoke quietly so others didn't hear her ''Which do you prefer, my silk nightgown, or this dress''

She looked up at him, to see a wicked smile across his lips.  
''As much as I enjoyed the blue silk I know I may not see this dress for a while'' He smirked from beside her.

''I wouldn't be so sure about that'' Victoria answered playfully with a knowing look in her eyes ''It gauges very appealing reactions'' She smiled at his expression before taking a sip from her glass.

''Oh, you can count on it'' He spoke quietly in her ear, hearing her suck in a breath as she swallowed another sip of wine.

His voice alone had the power to turn her legs into jelly, not to mention her insides.

''Victoria, you simply must stay the night here, I have already sorted your bedrooms'' He winked at the two

Victoria nodded ''Thank you, that is very kind of you, however we are not far from the house''

''Nonsense'' The King said ''Do not worry, I have put you two in close bedrooms'' He winked.

Victoria lost her smile completely ''I do not know what it is you are referring to''

The King laughed ''Do not worry, you are in France, not England. Enjoy your evening. My servants will have your carriages dismissed for the night'' He smiled at the two before walking over to Victoria's ladies.

''What is he referring to?'' Victoria said, panicked

He didn't answer, but looked equally worried.

V&M

Victoria watched The King see off the last of his guests, the only remaining guests where the ones that came with Victoria who where all sitting in the ball room, enjoying the last of the wine on offer.

She had to know what he meant. Despite being told to leave it be by Lord Melbourne, she couldn't stand not knowing.

The King turned to walk back towards Victoria, seeing the Monarch standing there he smiled and opened his arms briefly.  
''Your Majesty, what can I do for you?''

Victoria smiled ''I was hoping to ask you in regards to your statement you made earlier'' She said awkwardly. ''About myself and Lord Melbourne''

The King smiled ''Oh I see, do not worry. My staff are sworn to secrecy'' He winked.

''I do not know what you are insinuating but I can assure you-''

''You cannot fool me'' He replied, placing a hand on her back as he walked her back up the corridor ''You see France is a country of love and romance''

''But I am The Queen'' Victoria argued

''You are also a human being'' The King said quickly ''You care a great deal for him, anybody can see that. Many of my guests mentioned this to me tonight''

Victoria closed her eyes, realising they may have been too relaxed in the environment.

''Just one piece of advice'' The King said. Victoria remained quiet. ''Do not combine the two together''

''That is easier said than done in England'' Victoria said with a sigh.

''Just consider what you are getting yourself into'' He said quietly ''If you truly believe it is for the best then you are doing the right thing. But if you have any reservations, do not do something you may later regret''

''Spoken from one royal to another'' Victoria said with a small smile

''Like I said, France is a country of love and romance, whatever happens in France stays in France''

Victoria smiled, not feeling much comfort from such discretion as she joined the others.

''Right everybody. Let's get you into your rooms for the night''

As The King said his good wishes to everybody and departed for bed himself Victoria was left talking to Lord Melbourne outside in the corridor. Her ladies had retired. And, when the corridor was empty the pair walked into Lord Melbourne's room for the night.

The large room was directly next door to Victoria's just as The King had said.  
''How did we become so obvious to people?'' Victoria asked as he clicked the door shut, placing his hands within his pockets as he watched her gently take the tiara from her hair.

He sighed, walking towards her ''Neither of us really tried to deny it though'' He said in defence

''If we are announcing our marriage upon our return to England what is the point in it, I spoke with him, he did not seem overly bothered by the whole thing''

Melbourne hummed his agreement, they where so close to becoming public it seemed senseless to worry about it now.

Victoria turned to face him. ''So'' She said, slowly walking over to him. ''You are going to undress me this time, aren't you? As nice as this dress is, it is not comfortable to sleep in'' She grabbed the edges of his jacket and used it to pull his head down to meet her own.

''I do not think I could walk away a second time'' He replied quietly, smiling as he kissed her.  
Victoria wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the slow kiss, savouring the moment as they had no reason to rush, no desperation, just love, as they enjoyed each other's company.

He smiled against her lips as she pushed her body flush against his own, pulling on his cravat as it unravelled in her hands. His hands moved down her side, clutching her waist as he began to push her up against the wall of the room.  
A knock at the door made both of them jump, especially because they stood right beside it. Victoria moved to stand beside the door concealing herself from view as it was opened.

Lord Melbourne opened the door to see Lord Alfred standing there once again.  
''I am sorry to disturb you sir, but you have a letter''

He looked down at the envelope, his name scribbled on it. ''Is it from the palace?'' He asked a little gruffly

''No sir'' Lord Alfred replied.

Perhaps it was the wine doing the talking, or the fact a young and extremely attractive woman stood just behind the door awaiting his attention. But something told him to for once, but his pleasures first. ''It is not of importance Lord Alfred, I shall open it tomorrow''

The footman nodded and turned to leave. Lord Melbourne clicked the door shut behind him, locking it for good measure.

''Now'' He walked over to Victoria, grabbing her and lifting her off the ground causing her the shriek in surprise as he walked over to the bed. ''Where were we'' He said as he laid her on the bed.  
Lord Alfred couldn't help but listen to the giggles that slipped from the room he just stood at. Before smiling to himself and walking back down the corridor.

 _ **Im no historian, I know that the Eiffel Tower was built when Victoria was alive, so im half right in that sense. But anything else you can blame on google as I purely use my imagination and half back it with evidence. This is Fiction after all so no negativity on that front please guys. I had to include some positivity. Im a sucker for that. Hope you enjoyed. Leave any thoughts below please!**_


	39. Riddles

**Riddles**

 _ **I am looking for someone to help me proof read. I write ahead and tend to read over and edit any chapters before publishing. If anybody Is willing to help me out I would be most grateful, but they must enjoy this style of writing and be able to edit where necessary. Please message me if your interested.**_

The next morning Victoria awoke first. Today was the day they left for England. And it was the day their lives would change forever. She had no hesitations, The Kings warning had been within a friendly manner, but she was already certain this was what she wanted. Despite everything they had been faced with, the people against them. It made no difference. Her love for him was unconditional.

Excitement pooled in her stomach, she knew she shouldn't think so positive, she was aware of the fall out such an announcement would cause and the work involved, but she knew in her heart it would be worth it, and that in time, people would accept this.

Shuffling from his side to the edge of the bed Victoria grabbed his robe from the post it was draped across, pulling it on she stood. Covering her naked body as she rolled up the sleeves and saw it drag across the floor of the room as she walked towards the window. It was miles to big for her, but it did the job. Her eyes caught the dress and corset laid on the floor, her skin tingled as her mind cast back to last night. What pleasure she had felt. How lovely her evening had been. The perfect way to end such a trip.

''Isn't this a sight to wake up to'' He smiled as she turned to face him. His voice was husky and laced with sleep as he sat up in bed.

Victoria smiled and walked back over to him. Sitting beside him on the bed ''It will soon be a daily sight to wake up to'' She paused ''I am ready to leave'' She said quietly, clasping her hands together as she looked over to him ''I want people to know about us''

He smiled, reaching over he grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently ''As do I ma'am''

V&M

Victoria stood at the docks. Crowds of people came to see The Queen off. The King had met her, giving his good wishes to all of her staff and company as each person walked up the ramp onto the ship, waiting to take them on their journey home.

''What a pleasure it has been to have you here Your Majesty'' The King bent down and kissed her hand. ''I do hope you come back soon''

Victoria smiled. ''I intend to'' She watched as The King nodded his head, allowing Victoria to wave to the crowds and walk up the ship alongside her ladies.

She met Lord Melbourne on the hem of the ship as it began to slowly depart from the docks. Victoria watched the docks slowly get further and further away, before looking out into the ocean they headed towards.

From the cabin in view Lord Alfred stood talking to Emma and Harriett. ''Lord Melbourne had company last night''

Emma turned to Lord Alfred ''What do you mean?'' She asked quickly

''I went to give him a letter addressed to him. He was otherwise engaged and refused to open it, once the door was shut I could hear a lady's laugh coming from his room'' He smiled ''He seemed very happy''

''You did not see who it was'' Harriett asked cautiously

Lord Alfred shook his head. ''I should probably offer him the letter again'' He said as he walked towards the case which it laid in.

As the couple stood on the deck, grasped onto the railings enjoying the fresh sea breeze and meaningless chatter they both turned to see Lord Alfred walking towards him.

''Sorry to disturb you both, Lord Melbourne, I have the letter from last night for you'' Lord Alfred handed him the letter. ''Ma'am'' Lord Alfred said before bowing and walking away.

Lord Melbourne opened the letter without worry, he recalled turning it away last night, it was not from the palace, he did not see it of importance at such an hour.  
His face fell as his heart sped up. The letter was scribbled and stamped with his own stamp, it was sent from Dover House.

''What is it'' Victoria said looking over him.

Lord Melbourne gripped the railings as he tried to control the wash of emotions, before walking around Victoria, running a hand through his hair. ''It is sent from Dover House'' He said quickly ''It seems like a death threat''

''What?'' Victoria said quickly, catching up to him ''May I see?'' She asked, holding out her hand calmly.

He handed over the letter. Victoria read it carefully.

 _It seems you are not capable of listening to our warnings, for that you shall suffer the consequences, and all those surrounding you._

You should have stayed away.

Victoria saw the letter had the stamp that only Lord Melbourne used. The writing was messy, ink scribbled across the paper as little time was taken to write it out.

''Who has access to your house?'' Victoria asked.

Melbourne tried to think ''Nobody'' Anger surged through him. ''I should have read the letter last night'' He began to shout ''I have my own selfish actions to thank for this''

''Calm down'' Victoria said, trying not to panic at his ruffled state ''We shall be home soon, we can look into it as soon as we reach the docks''

''My staff are so loyal, they would never betray my trust. Somebody has imposed on my home''

Victoria breathed a sigh of exasperation ''We do not know that'' She tried to reason with him.

''Yes! That's exactly what it implies!'' He shouted.

His voice had raised a great deal. Her ladies who stood quietly in the ship decided to impose, walking over to see if everything was alright.

''Your Uncle has a lot to answer for'' He was seething with anger, unaware of Victoria's uncertainty and fear of his change in character.

''William'' Emma said firmly, causing both to look over to the two ladies stood together. Emma signalled for Lord Melbourne to follow her, to which he fell silent and complied.

Harriett walked over to Victoria, offering some comfort to The Queen who looked distressed at the sudden change in events.

V&M

''That wretched man!'' Melbourne seethed ''If he has hurt any of my staff I shall ensure he feels the same pain'' He slammed his fist on the table, unable to contain himself anymore.

''What are you talking about'' Emma remained calm, aware of his moods and how to handle them.

''A letter was sent from Dover House, telling me that as I refused to listen to the threats I would pay the consequences of it. This was sent last night. I could have done something about it!''

''So why didn't you?'' Emma said firmly, folding her hands as she saw him pour a glass of Brandy, his hands shaking as anger rippled through him.

''I was otherwise engaged'' He said, glancing at her as he took a long swig of the warm liquid, swallowing it as he sat down. ''How selfish I have been''

Emma sat down ''Lord Alfred heard you two last night, thankfully he did not know who was laughing in your room'' She pointed out.

''That is the least of my worries!'' he argued ''If I had of opened that letter I could have changed it, I could have prevented this''

''Prevented what?'' Emma asked ''You do not know what has happened, who sent the letter, what they are implying. Anything. You where in another country, it was late William. The letter was sent at a time when nothing could have been done, opening it last night wouldn't have changed anything''

Her voice was calm but firm, slowly settling his racing mind with her rational words. She was unphased by his anger, she had seen it before.

''I shouldn't have ignored the letter'' He said quietly.  
''But that is not Vickie's fault'' Emma said sharply

He looked at her ''I never implied it was''

''That's the way you have made her feel'' She said calmly. You need to calm down, you cannot do anything until the ship docks in England''

''I had a letter the other morning, stating the words 'I know' That was it.

''The letters are in riddles, designed to make you paranoid. You must rise above it and tackle the problem with a clear mind. Do not pass the blame onto somebody's misfortune. Vickie has done nothing wrong''

Lord Melbourne rubbed his hand over his face without answering as he watched Emma turn and walk out of the room.

V&M

Lord Melbourne walked towards the window of the cabin. The window overlooked the hem of the ship, where, as Emma had said, Victoria stood, hands around the railings as she watched England slowly come into view.

The trip had been easy going, the sea remained calm and the boat was going in good time, but it was still far to long for Lord Melbourne and his growing concern.

The anger had faded, all that was left within him was anxiety and concern for the people who worked for him. The riddles gave little away and, not being in the country meant he was powerless towards their actions.

He had to apologise to her, she had done nothing wrong, she was in the firing line yesterday, and he was wrong to behave in such a way.

''Ma'am'' He spoke quietly as Victoria kept her back to him. She finally after a moment turned to face him, still holding onto the railings. ''I wanted to apologise for my behaviour yesterday, I was wrong to take out such concern on you''

''Yes'' Victoria replied ''You where'' She sighed ''But I understand'' She turned to face him.

He walked towards her. ''It does not excuse my behaviour ma'am, I am not usually like that. The circumstances are not ideal, I feel rather powerless whilst away from England''

Victoria nodded in agreement ''I only wish to help''

He took her hands, without any worry on who may be watching, because he had to make her understand. ''I have very little too loose here, but what I could lose would amount to more than my life is worth living for''

Victoria closed her eyes ''Please, do not say such things. I just want to make you happy and to help lay all this to rest''

''I do not deserve your love Victoria'' He brought her hands to his lips, holding them there for a moment and closing his eyes, before slowly releasing them.

''Do you want to go to Dover House when we reach the docks?'' Victoria asked, willing to move on from the difficult subject.

He nodded, looking over her as England came clear into view, the docks slowly got more and more detailed, the large crowds waiting patiently for her to come back.

As the ship slowed to a halt and the anchor was dropped the crowds cheered, clapped and chanted as Victoria smiled and waved, she felt an overwhelming sense of pride as she saw her adoring crowd greet her as she walked down the ramp. Lord Melbourne just behind her as they made their way to the covered carriages.

Victoria and Lord Melbourne hopped into the covered carriage, something, in other circumstances may not have been allowed, but he had bigger things to worry about, he needed to find out for himself what had happened since they left.

V&M

As the two carriages neared Dover House it was clear guards and police stood outside his house. Dread filled Melbourne's stomach as he jumped out of the carriage, helping Victoria out as she walked up beside him towards the house.

The guards where royal ones, Victoria noticed as they bowed and walked in the house.

His entire world came crashing down right then. His house, destroyed.

Victoria remained quiet as she followed him through the rooms. Not one room was untouched. Every object was broken, glass smashed, mirrors cracked, papers everywhere, paintings damaged, everything he looked at had been destroyed.

He walked up to another guard, standing just outside his study room which was by far the worst of the lot. ''Are they all like this'' He spoke quietly, swallowing quickly after as the shock began to take hold.

The guard regretfully nodded.

Victoria sighed, placing her hand to her mouth as she saw Lord Melbourne try very hard to remain calm. Shutting away every emotion that was threatening to come out.  
''Where are my staff?'' He asked The guard.

''We are only guarding the premises sir, as instructed. The police can tell you more'' The guard replied formally.

Lord Melbourne turned quickly, walking past Victoria who looked in his study. Walking past the guard she saw the destruction that surrounded her. Not one inch of the room had been left, papers, folders, documents, ink wells, paintings, mirrors, tables, chairs, glasses, alcohol, the lot. All damaged. Victoria tried not to cry, walking through the destruction she looked over his table, where he was often bent over, trying to work. She noticed a small box that had been opened. Bending down she picked it up, examining it carefully. The latch had been broken, somebody pulled it open quickly, either that or it was locked. The box was fabric lined, but nothing remained in it.  
Placing it carefully back on the table and shutting it she noticed a picture, the frame smashed and broken just a few inches away as the picture was ripped into two halves.  
Victoria grabbed the two halves, placing them together she tried to place the person in the photo, but couldn't.

Placing the two halves in her coat pocket she turned and left the room. Stopping beside the guard who bowed to her.  
''Who employed you to guard the house?'' Victoria asked.

''I believe they where anonymous Majesty, my chief will know more. He is outside''

Victoria nodded, quickly walking back towards the front of the house, in search for Lord Melbourne.

She saw the weary looking Priminister talking to the police officer, stood at the entrance to the house, she did not need to hear what was being said to know it was not good.

As she neared him the policeman walked away, seemingly unaware he had turned his back on The Queen as Victoria reached Lord Melbourne.

''3 of my staff are being seen by the doctor, but they where considered life threatening injuries'' Lord Melbourne breathed through his shock but could not keep it from escaping in his voice. ''A few others suffered minor injuries, but the reason for the break in and attack is still unknown''

''Do you wish to see your staff?'' Victoria asked quietly

He sighed ''I do, more than anything. But they will be in no position to speak to me tonight, perhaps it is best left till the morning'' He replied ''I plan to go to the house, I need to speak to The Duke about this. To see if there is anything I should have known about''

''Lets go then'' Victoria said, walking out past the guards who quickly bowed as she headed down the steps back towards the carriages waiting.

''No, Your Majesty. Please, go back to the palace, I shall meet you there shortly'' He tried to reason with her.

''That is out of the question, I want to know who caused this. Besides, I believe my Uncle Cumberland wishes to speak with me. I can attend to him whilst you speak to The Duke'' Victoria replied, walking towards the carriages once more not giving him the chance to protest.

V&M

''Melbourne'' The Duke said in his usual, calm voice as he saw the Priminister walking down the corridor. ''Good trip?''

Melbourne nodded, not prepared to do niceties in such situations.  
''Did you hear about my house?'' He said quickly

The Duke nodded ''Terrible, who would do such a thing'' He said quietly as other party members walked past. Wishing The Priminister a good day.

''I have a pretty good idea'' Melbourne replied.

The Duke frowned, ushering Melbourne into an empty office to talk in private ''What is the link?'' He asked

''I was out of the country, I employed a member of the palace staff to keep passing information to me, we where hoping The King would reveal his plans in a quieter environment. However, The King left, rather suddenly, and the next day I receive riddled letters. The last one being linked to a threat. But I cannot place them to anybody, I have been the target. Not my staff''

''No but it's a weakness, whoever did this knew your location, when you where to return and where you where staying to get the letters, they used your staff as a weakness''

Melbourne sighed ''3 of them have life threatening injuries Duke, how could I allow this to happen''

''You didn't know Melbourne, even if you where in the country it may still have happened, just remember that''

''How do I find out why my staff where targeted?'' He said rather desperately, willing an easy answer to be spoken.

''You need to piece the puzzle together, speak to the staff involved, find out what happened and try to link the targets to any information you already have'' The Duke replied calmly as he watched Melbourne pace the room. ''Where is Her Majesty?''

''She is in the House, she wishes to speak to her Uncle Cumberland'' Melbourne replied.

V&M

''Uncle'' Victoria's voice came from the doorway, causing her Uncle Cumberland to look up from his work, standing to meet The Queen. ''I received your letter, what can I do for you?''

''Your Uncle Leopold wrote to me in a rather desperate way, wanting me to discuss your refusal to marry'' He replied coldly

Victoria sighed ''I refused to marry Albert, I do intend to marry, but I do not want to marry someone I don't care for, perhaps I have a right to be happy'' She snapped.

''People are going to start questioning your sanity Victoria, just like when you where without a Priminister. You need to be careful''

''My decisions are not life changing to everybody else Uncle, I am perfectly sound of mind and shall stick to my decision of waiting for the right person to marry''

''Albert was a fine choice, many people marry upon arranged marriages and live happy lives''

''Nobody is arranging my marriage'' Victoria said quickly ''I shall decide when and who I am to marry''

''That may be to late for that, you have a responsibility to produce an heir, and you have ignored it. People will have to start stepping in''

''You came all the way over from Hannover to tell me that'' Victoria said.

''No, I was invited over here, I have some business to attend to''

Victoria did not need to know who invited him as she went to turn around.

''Tell Melbourne I am terribly sorry for such an awful welcoming back into England'' Cumberland said quickly to Victoria's back.

She said nothing, but quickly walked out, in search for Melbourne once more.

V&M

''Did you find anything out?'' Victoria asked as she found Lord Melbourne waiting near the carriages

''No ma'am, but I have a starting point''

''Well you simply must stay at the palace for the next few days'' She said quickly

''I cannot impose ma'am, I shall go to Brocket Hall''

''Nonsense, you cannot travel such distances every day, you can stay at the palace, given the circumstances you have little choice. Do not be so modest Lord M, it is no trouble''

He had no reason to argue with her, to many things flooded his mind, he simply nodded, knowing arguing would be pointless as he opened the door to their carriage, thinking vaguely for a moment that one day he would live at the palace.

V&M

''I would like to employ guards at Brocket Hall, I do not want the same thing to happen over there'' Victoria said as she walked down the corridor. Lord Melbourne by her side. It felt good to be home, she had missed the palace, the friendly and familiar faces.

''I do not think Brocket Hall would be a target ma'am'' He answered

''Still, I do not want any chances, especially your glass houses, somebody has an intent to hurt you, and it will not happen under me''

He smiled. When she had control, she was powerful. It was the lack of control that threw her.

V&M

''Mama, Lord Melbourne is staying at the palace until we can find out why his house was targeted in such a way''

The Duchess smiled and nodded ''Good idea Drina, does Lord Melbourne know anything more?''

''Not until he speaks to his staff, who are still receiving medical attention'' Victoria replied. She paused, thinking over what she wanted to say ''You do not think my uncle is behind this do you?'' Victoria had to ask.

The Duchess stopped what she was doing and looked at her daughter ''I wish I could say no Drina'' She replied sadly.

''But why would he leave the country if he wanted to hurt Lord M?''

''I do not know, he mentioned returning to the palace, perhaps he is planning on coming back soon''

''Until we know what the reasons are behind such an attack I wish to keep him close, if he is within the palace the guards can keep an eye on him''

''You care for him a good deal don't you'' The Duchess smiled

''I do not want him hurt mama, he is my closest friend''

''I know Drina, he is a good man''

Victoria was slightly surprised by her words but smiled and turned to walk away once more.

V&M

This was not how Victoria had planned her return. She had hoped they would announce their engagement once settled, telling the household and family first before announcing it to the privy council and members of the public. However the events of the last few hours had changed all that.

She had looked forward to her return, the idea of waking up knowing people knew was something she had only dreamt about. Being able to hold his hand in public, dance with him as many times as she wished, and for him to relax a little, like he was in France.

But it was not that simple, and being Queen, she should have known better than to think like that.

Victoria looked at her outfit for the evening, the simple uncomplicated dress was understated and comfortable compared to the ones she had worn in France. Sitting in her chambers, quite alone she picked up the two torn pieces of paper, containing the photograph. Putting them together she saw the picture was a young boy. Probably his son by the looks of his age and blondish hair. Just like Melbourne had described.

She felt a stab of pain as the picture was most probably one of the few he had. Especially given it was framed and kept out of harms way. She didn't want to tell him it was damaged, the pain he was feeling would not compare to this. The emotional torment he must have faced over the years would come rushing back.

A thought crossed her mind. One which needed some advice.  
Standing from her chair, with the picture in her hand, Victoria walked off in look of her ladies.

V&M

Dinner was an awkward environment to say the least. Everybody avoiding the obvious topic and trying to talk about Victoria's holiday, what she saw, what she learnt… but everybody was thinking about the same thing. Nobody dared mention it.

Victoria saw that he hardly ate anything, or looked at anyone, smiling and offering simple conversation to anyone that tried, but he did not want to be there. Victoria could only support him through this time as best as her knowledge allowed. Which was limited until she knew why the attack happened, and why his innocent staff where targeted.

It was boiling up, she could sense that. And began to worry just how more he would be able to take.

V&M

''There you are'' Victoria walked over to Lord Melbourne, who sat on his own, staring into the fire whilst sitting on the divan. He had excused himself at dinner, disappearing for a few hours.

He looked over to her as she sat down beside him, reaching and grabbing her hand, squeezing it gently. Victoria clasped both hands over his one, covering it in a bid to comfort him.

''I am sorry I was not very talkative at dinner'' He said quietly, looking back into the fire.

''Don't be silly, people know how difficult this must be for you'' She said quickly, looking over his face as she saw the pain etched across it. He looked older, tired and worn. ''We will find out who did this'' She said quietly, almost in a whisper as though the words may hurt him ''They will not get away with it''

''They already have'' Melbourne replied

''You should get some rest'' Victoria said as she rested her head on his shoulder ''You will be able to speak to your staff tomorrow, they can tell you more''

''If they survive'' He replied gravely.

 _ **I both hate and love writing painful chapters. The plot just rolls across the screen, waiting to be written out. Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know your thoughts!**_


	40. Discoveries

**A Day of Discoveries**

 _ **Firstly a massive thank you to dmjenn who has taken the time to help me with this story. Now.. Enjoy!**_

The palace was eerie when it was quiet. Despite being full of people, hardly anyone spoke a word, as if they were all treading on eggshells, waiting for something to explode.

Victoria couldn't stand it.

She sat alone at the table in her chambers waiting for her boxes to arrive. After all, she had nothing better to do. Sleeping was difficult last night. She had paced her bedroom, brushed her own hair, and even attempted some painting, but her mind refused to stop thinking.

Why would somebody go to such lengths, and were things really so bad that such actions had to be taken? Her spine tingled as she realised how having a position as powerful as hers could mean that choosing the wrong husband might result in such devastating consequences.

Victoria could not begin to fathom the anguish Lord Melbourne must be experiencing. She had not seen him since last night. France felt so very far away now; how she wished she could just step back in time.

A knock at the door signalled a servant entering with five dispatch boxes stacked in his arms which he placed on the table. Victoria picked up her pen, dabbing it in the inkwell as she opened the first box, keen to focus her attention elsewhere.

An hour later, Victoria held her head in her hands as she struggled to make sense of the papers before her. Victoria realised just how much work went into analysing these documents, almost all of which Lord Melbourne handled with such precision and dedication. She initially followed his advice because she felt she could trust him; now she knew it was because she didn't understand anything. Still, she would have to learn at some point.

If their new marriage was accepted, it would mean no more personal advisor, no more Prime Minister. While he would have some say, he would ultimately be unable to influence her decisions too heavily. Still, it was a reasonable price to pay if it meant they could be together.

Victoria found the tougher things got, the more she loved him.

There was no knock or announcement. To her surprise, the door clicked open and Lord Melbourne entered. He was well dressed, formal, and polite as she stood, watching him bend down to kiss her hand before rising.

''I am terribly sorry for being late, ma'am,'' he said, offering his Queen a small smile.

Victoria shook her head, dismissing his comment instantly. ''How are you feeling?'' she asked. They took their respective seats.

''I am perfectly well, ma'am,'' he said quickly, grabbing a document from a box and scanning it. Just like Victoria, he had decided avoidance was best.

''I am sorry to tell you that method does not work.'' Melbourne's eyes rose to meet hers.

''What do you mean, ma'am?''

''Trying to focus on this,'' she said, gesturing to the entire table. "The boxes do nothing but bore the mind and force you to focus on the obvious.'' She spoke with caution, almost as if he might snap at her words.

As though a wall had been shattered, Melbourne placed his pen down and rubbed at his face, displaying how immensely stressed and tired he felt, which Victoria fully expected. ''My staff is in no state to talk," he said at length. "No one has woken up yet. I can only speak to the members of my staff who were not involved but still may have witnessed something.''

''That's better than nothing,'' Victoria replied in what she hoped was a soothing tone. ''But why did they only target certain members of your staff? Surely they all would have been targeted.''

Melbourne remained quiet as his brain scrambled her words into something coherent before it finally dawned on him what she had said.

His face changed suddenly and he turned towards her. ''You're right. They sought out people who shared the same job within my household. Why do you think that is?''

''There has to be a link somewhere,'' Victoria said, setting down a particularly confusing document.

Melbourne silently willed himself to remember anything that might link the attacks to his staff. Unfortunately his muddled, sleep- and drink-infused mind struggled to keep up.

''I will not know for certain until I have spoken to my staff,'' he remarked sadly. "Hopefully they can shed some light on the events.''

Victoria could only nod, a feeling akin to depression settling in at the notion of hitting a brick wall in their findings. Deflated slightly, the couple returned to their documents, seemingly intent on working calmly side by side.

It was not something Victoria wanted to get used to.

V&M

The carriage pulled up outside a large house, set away from the city of London in a peaceful and secluded area in the countryside.

Victoria looked over at Lord Melbourne. He seemed apprehensive but never breathed a word. The tension was almost unbearable. Even in the past, he never allowed his troubles to affect him in such a way. But this was different—whoever committed this act of vengeance struck him directly in his weak spot, right when he was at his most vulnerable, and it had really gotten to him.

He opened the carriage door and took her hand, squeezing it gently as she stepped out. She glanced at him reassuringly; however, he kept his eyes trained on the house. Victoria realised it was probably a secondary reaction.

The servants opened the doors to the house, its grand hall and staircase the first features to catch her eye. The staircase ascended and split off into separate corridors. Though it was of a fairly modern design that captivated Victoria, it was still just a house, not somewhere grand functions would be held.

''Who's home is this?'' Victoria asked as Lord Melbourne kept pace beside her and directed her towards a room to their left.

''It belongs to some friends of mine. They hardly use it, and given the circumstances, they allowed me to lodge my staff here for their own safety.'' He continued to walk through the large hallway, knowing exactly where he was going.

Victoria felt strangely unwanted in the house and considered returning to the carriage. ''I do not think I have a place here,'' she said, suddenly anxious. ''Perhaps I should wait outside until you return.''

Lord Melbourne nodded in assent, glancing in the direction of the room containing his staff. He would not try to convince her otherwise or check if she was alright—he was not that man at the moment. After she left, he continued on down the path towards the room where his staff awaited their master.

V&M

Victoria leaned against the carriage, the warm sunshine beating down on her as she surveyed the beautiful grounds with its vast assortment of wildlife. She relished the peace and quiet: no ladies, no talking, no servants, no duties, no sights to see—no one but herself, which was sometimes the only company she so desperately craved. But it never lasted, and as the minutes slipped by, Victoria grew more and more concerned.

Lord Melbourne had been gone for a while, which should be a good sign. But it could just as easily indicate something had gone terribly wrong. She had not wanted to visit his injured staff. Not only would it have violated their privacy, she knew that whatever Melbourne saw and heard would be distressing. Surely the pitiful sight would have affected her even more.

The doors opened abruptly and Melbourne stalked out, clearly impatient, his expression a cross between serious and despondent. ''Are you ready to leave, ma'am?''

Victoria nodded, allowing the coachman to open the carriage door as she stepped inside. Moments later, the horses' hooves could be heard crunching on the gravelled driveway as the vehicle started back towards the noisy streets of London.

She wanted to know everything, but dare not ask.

''It was my carriage team that took the brunt of the attack,'' Melbourne spoke into the silence, immediately catching Victoria's attention. ''The damage to the house was just for added effect it would seem.''

''But why would somebody put forth so much effort only to be found out?''

''Because that is their goal.'' He briefly looked down at his hands. ''They want us to feel afraid of the threat that is upon us,'' he sighed. ''On the night I was assaulted, I was told that if I valued my life at all I should allow you to move on and live yours.''

Victoria noticed how visibly pained Melbourne was at his own words. ''I remember.''

''I was also told not to tell anybody about the attack," he continued, "and that, if I did, my staff would be targeted next.''

Victoria realised what he was saying. ''So whoever did this also carried out the attack on you?''

Melbourne nodded. "This is getting too dangerous. I do not want other people to suffer at the expense of my own selfish inclinations.''

She shuffled next to where he sat, gripping his hands and squeezing them tightly, unable to fight off the urge to comfort him any longer. ''All difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations,'' she murmured, watching as his fingers laced within her own." It is not the public that is angry at our decision, it is my uncle. You must remember that once we put a stop to his plans, the attacks will stop, as well.''

''But until then everything remains a threat. My staff does not deserve to die! These people are capable of treacherous deeds, Victoria...I will not be able to live with the guilt.''

She heard his voice crack, as if he would cry at any second—as if an entire flood of emotions was being held up by a piece of thin wool. The strain on him was palpable. ''What if we announced our engagement to everyone?'' Victoria asked expectantly.

''The motive would still be there," Melbourne replied, ''but then again, a marriage to Albert would be impossible.''

''Perhaps if my uncle understood that he would see no point in persisting with these silly antics.''

Melbourne was hesitant. ''It would be a huge risk. I cannot be sure.''

''I understand,'' Victoria said quietly. ''However, there may be another way…'' She released his hands, cradling her own in her lap as the carriage trundled along.

He looked over at her, realising what she was contemplating in that moment. "Nothing would make me happier.'' Melbourne grabbed her right hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing it delicately, feeling her velvet skin beneath his lips. ''But there are too many people involved. If we do decide to announce it, we must explore every possible avenue to ensure it is the correct move.''

Victoria smiled. ''I am worried that perhaps the risks are too high and that marriage is not something we should be considering.''

''Everything in life is a risk, Victoria. Like you said: Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.'' They grinned at each other. The action, neither forced nor obligatory, was one of love. And one he knew she probably needed to see from him.

V&M

Melbourne paced down the corridors of the palace quite alone, feeling as if for once he were truly accepted. No one looked at him as though he shouldn't be there, or wondered when he was leaving, or asked what business he had being in such parts. The staff had picked up on the behaviour of their employers, realising that the family had thoroughly welcomed Melbourne into their home and that circumstances must have changed somewhat drastically in a short space of time.

Gossip travelled fast. People knew about the attack on his home and staff, although sympathy was not something he withstood very well.

That aside, something had been puzzling him since their stay in France. Now that he was back in England, he needed to get to the bottom of it.

As Melbourne entered the servants' quarters, palace staff members such as Victoria's dressers and butlers bowed quickly, acknowledging his importance to the Queen. They knew how upset she would be if they failed show him the respect he was due.

''I am looking for the man that cleans the fireplaces. Tall, with dark hair,'' he said, scrutinizing his surroundings. Although the staff did pay attention to the Prime Minster, nobody seemed to know who he was talking about, except for an older man who crept up from the group of people huddled in the corner. He appeared to be a cleaner of some sort.

''Rodger, sir?''

''Yes.'' Lord Melbourne finally remembered the man's name as his mind conjured up his image. ''He smokes a black pipe I believe.''

''That's Rodger,'' the man affirmed. 'He left, sir. Just came into a bit of money and decided to move away.''

This bit of news confused Melbourne, so he pressed the older man further. ''I don't suppose you know why he decided to move away. Does he have any loved ones here?''

''I can't say for certain, sir. I think he had a wife. He seemed rather unsettled for a few days, and then he suddenly told us he was leaving. We have yet to replace him.''

''When did this happen?''

''Only three days ago, sir.''

Lord Melbourne smirked to himself and nodded, kindly thanking everybody before making his way back toward the main floors of the palace.

V&M

When Victoria walked into the drawing room that evening, she saw that her ladies were sitting with their husbands conversing over some wine. "Emma?" she called.

Lady Portman rose and moved to where Victoria stood.

''Did you make the arrangements as I asked?'' Victoria asked in a hushed voice.

''Yes, Your Majesty. Everything will be ready in a few days,'' Emma replied brightly.

''Ma'am?''

Victoria swiftly spun around at the sound of Melbourne's voice and broke away from her friend without hesitation. She strode towards the door and met him in a nearby corridor to speak in private, aware something was troubling him.

''What is the matter?''

''You know the staff member, the one I paid to keep an eye on your uncle?'' he whispered.

''Yes?''

''He came into some money and left the palace straightaway.''

Victoria folded her arms. ''It is not unheard of, as he did not have a high ranking job. His pay may have been better elsewhere,'' she reasoned.

''Three days ago,'' he said in defence. ''He left three days ago. Up until that point he was regularly sending letters to me in France. All of a sudden the correspondence ceased. My house was attacked less than three days later.''

Right then Victoria looked as unnerved as Melbourne did. ''Do you suppose this man was caught out, that the information he guarded could have prevented the attack?''

''It would certainly explain your uncle's hasty departure.''

''But who did he invite back to the palace?'' Victoria wondered, confusion etched across her face. 

V&M

''You know, you are allowed to smile.'' Emma sat down beside Lord Melbourne, capturing his attention as he looked up from his hands, cradling the glass of wine he had yet to taste.

''I feel under the circumstances it is not appropriate,'' he said with a scowl.

''Will any of this help your staff recover?''

He shook his head, not wanting to take part in her uplifting efforts tonight. ''No, but It would be entirely selfish of me to sit here and enjoy myself knowing they became targets because of me.''

''You didn't do anything wrong. People were bound to ask questions, William. Your injuries were undoubtedly from an assault,'' Emma countered.

''My memory could have been lost. I should have stuck with my original story,'' Melbourne said, finally taking a sip of the red wine before sneering at it.

''And do what exactly? Become a victim of blackmail, hiding this dark secret from somebody who you say you love so dearly?''

''I did hide it from her,'' he pointed out, ''and her reaction would have been no worse had she known from the beginning.''

Emma sighed. ''All I'm saying is, do not allow these people to change your life, the way you treat her, or encourage any life-changing decisions, because that is precisely what they want.''

He remained quiet for a moment. ''Somebody knew we were travelling to France, and they waited until the last day before committing the offence. This person did not wish to flee the scene of the crime, never to be seen or heard from again, or to cover his tracks and create a mystery. The target was there as clear as day, as was the threat they made that night, despite my injuries.''

''Do you think the King had anything to do with it?'' Emma asked as she observed the other guests, busily conversing away.

''Of course, but how he has linked the two together after all this time is beyond me," Melbourne said. "I told you, Victoria, and the Duchess about this, and none of you had any reason to inform the King. Therefore, somebody must have known that I revealed what transpired that night. But who it was, I could not say.''

''You will not hear anything more until your staff is well enough to speak with you, so perhaps you should focus your attentions elsewhere,'' Emma hinted.

Melbourne nonchalantly sipped his bitter-tasting wine. ''I spoke with the Queen earlier. She comprehends the situation.''

''She is young, William. She doesn't understand, and as much as you try to tell yourself otherwise, you know that as well as I do. So please, reassure her. It may be difficult for you, but she only wants to help.''

Lord Melbourne cherished his friends a great deal. But in these circumstances, they only made matters worse. Even Emma had no idea just how far advanced his relationship with Victoria had become. Victoria should normally feel safe confiding in her ladies; however, she should not trust them with something so delicate. In the wrong hands, such information could potentially alter a situation within seconds.

''Thank you, Emma.'' He said goodbye to her, left his wine glass on the table, and wandered over towards Victoria, bending down and whispering in her ear. Emma watched the Queen nod before watching him exit the room.

''Is Lord Melbourne alright?'' Harriett asked as Emma came and sat beside her.

''I wish I could say he was.'' She paused. ''Truthfully, I have not seen him acting so distantly since the death of his son.''

''Poor man, he must be going through utter torment,'' Harriett replied.

''And the worst thing is… I do not think it's going to get any better,'' Emma said regretfully.

 _ **Thank you for reading. Please leave a review.**_


	41. Just Words

**Just Words**

Four more days passed by. Lord Melbourne continued his duties, advising Victoria, aiding her with the boxes, as well as visiting the house and taking part in debates, gaining votes. It was as if each and every day lasted a lifetime.

Each afternoon he received a letter from the court physician, Sir James, whom Victoria had insisted tend to his staff at the palace's expense; Lord Melbourne was touched. The letters offered words of encouragement, explaining how his staff began to show gradual signs of improvement. While one had awoken, the other two remained unconscious.

He tried to take comfort in the doctor's words, knowing he was not only extremely knowledgeable, but also sensible and honest. His staff would get better; they simply had to. And nothing had been mentioned for this to be otherwise.

On day five, Lord Melbourne dismounted from his horse, which had only recently taken up residence in the royal stables, and strode up the steps to the palace — his usual routine — when the sound of horses' hooves thundering along the drive captured his attention.

The horse galloped at a frantic pace, its rider spurring it further up the drive, nearing the palace by the second. As he grew closer, Lord Melbourne could see he was a messenger.

Glancing at his pocket watch, he noted it was around the time of day Sir James typically sent word, after he was through treating his other patients and ensuring everything was in order.

He decided to wait as the horse began to slow, coming to a stop beside the steps. The young man ran up the steps determinately, handing Lord Melbourne a letter, which was addressed to him.

He nodded, thanked the messenger, and turned back toward the palace, fingering the letter nervously.

V&M

Victoria strolled down the corridor, ostensibly deep in conversation with an older man that Lord Melbourne had never seen before. Whoever he was, he kept pace beside the Queen as if the two had known each other for years. For some reason, such familiarity upset him.

''Your Majesty!'' Lord Melbourne called. Victoria's eyes met his as she beamed at him. She said farewell to the mystery gentleman and walked briskly down the corridor to meet him.

''What's the matter?'' she asked cautiously. She had known him long enough now to recognize when something was bothering him. Her gaze then fell onto the unopened letter being twirled within his hands. ''Is that from...''

He nodded. ''I would assume so, ma'am. His letters usually come at this time of day.''

''Why then do you look so worried?'' Victoria almost laughed as she breathed a sigh of relief.

''It arrived on the fastest messenger,'' he replied, clearly troubled.

Victoria wished she could retract that sigh of relief as the butterflies began to flutter within her stomach, instinctively knowing that the letter brought with it either very good or terribly bad tidings.

''Let's find somewhere private for you,'' she said quickly, retracing her steps, the Prime Minister close behind her.

V&M

Victoria poked her head into a small empty room. Seeing it was out of use, she opened it wider and stepped aside to allow Lord Melbourne to enter.

After he walked in, nodding his head out of respect, he saw Victoria grab the handle, ready to shut it behind him. ''Where are you going?'' he asked, perplexed.

She dropped her hand right away. "I assumed you would want some privacy." She waited in the doorway awkwardly.

Lord Melbourne could sense her uncertainty, as though she were treading on eggshells to keep him happy. Just as Emma had said, the Queen did not understand the situation at all. Now, it was glaringly obvious. He nodded his head just once. ''I understand,'' he said softly.

Victoria smiled at him sympathetically, preparing to close the door once more.

''Stay with me. Please _,_ '' he urged, holding up the unopened letter.

Victoria hesitated for a moment, which saddened him. He had always admired her for being so courageous, brave, and determined; for being someone who got an idea and stuck with it, without hesitation or fear of failure. All of that had disappeared, and he couldn't help but feel responsible.

Lord Melbourne patiently waited for her to return, though the letter burned in his hands, its contents begging to be consumed immediately. It was true she needed to understand this was not her responsibility, but he needed her here with him more; as his wife,.

They had wandered into an art studio of sorts, with various paintings hanging throughout, even a work-in-progress propped against an easel. Victoria scanned her surroundings, admiring the paintings in all their unknown glory.

When Lord Melbourne sunk into the seat beside her, she gave him her full, undivided attention. He took a deep breath and broke the seal.

Sure enough, the missive was from Sir James, his words neat and precise across the delicate piece of paper as Lord Melbourne carefully read:

 _Lord Melbourne,_

 _The injuries your staff members sustained have healed rapidly. They are all conscious now and continue to improve. They all feel well enough to talk with you, and I judge them to be healthy enough to withstand visitors._

 _Sir James  
_

He handed the letter to Victoria. Upon studying it herself, she set it down on her lap and smiled up at him. ''This is such good news, William! Now we can find out what really happened.'' Lord Melbourne, however, looked terrified. ''What's wrong?'' she asked cautiously, as though her voice might spook him.

''What if they hold it against me? The attack is my fault, after all,'' he replied apprehensively.

Victoria clasped his hand in her own, lightly caressing his skin as she encouraged him to look into her eyes. ''That will never happen, my love.''

He sighed, squeezing her hand in return as he regarded the note once more.

V&M

The carriage pulled up outside the hospital. Lord Melbourne was sure everybody could hear his heart pounding within his chest with great intensity as anxiety rippled through his body, rendering him restless and disorientated.

''It will be ok, William,'' Victoria reassured. The carriage only held the two of them, yet he still felt the need to guard his emotions around her. It had become second nature to him over the years, a survival tactic. But to her, it seemed hurtful.

He smiled, hopping out of the carriage and helping her down with somewhat shaky hands. ''Shall you come in with me this time?'' he asked quickly, the tension his voice now too unmistakeable to ignore.

Victoria nodded. ''Of course,'' she replied, sticking close to his side as the pair ascended the steps together.

Sir James had said the wounds had been life-threatening and would not mend within a few days. Victoria was truly afraid of what they might encounter, but she knew she must be strong enough for the both of them.

Lord Melbourne opened the door soundlessly, revealing the room where three of his staff members were being treated. Their beds lined up side-by-side, they sat talking amongst themselves. Victoria noticed how weak they appeared as she was led into the room.

The men struggled to stand, out of respect for their Queen. Victoria swiftly took her place in front of Lord Melbourne, nodding to the men. ''Please, you do not have to stand.'' She smiled as she saw the men settle themselves back into bed.

Locating a seat beside the third bed, she observed Lord Melbourne greeting his servants cheerfully, almost bowing to them, wishing them well and inquiring about their recovery. His compassion, which had manifested as anxiety prior to arriving at the hospital, was a testament to his fear that the individuals he cared for so deeply would ultimately reject him.

It had nothing to do with Victoria, and everything to do with him.

Lord Melbourne situated himself next to the middle bed and began his interview. ''I have to ask you all...What happened?''

The men visibly stiffened at the mention of the delicate, painful subject. Victoria felt no compulsion to speak, but for some reason did so anyway.

''We did not come here to question you,'' she said softly, carrying a small smile. ''But we do want to move forward from this and make sure the men that hurt you get sent to the tower.'' She hoped saying that would offer them some comfort, even though she knew the chances of it ever happening where slim. But the promise of retribution was there; she would hold no mercy for them.

The man in the third bed, beside Victoria, lamented. ''They looked to be the same people as before; the ones from that night.'' He glanced at Lord Melbourne, unsure if Victoria knew exactly what transpired.

''It was late in the evening,'' added the man in the first bed. ''We were all sitting around drinking, almost ready to retire, when we heard the door open and shut rather loudly.''

The man in the second bed chimed in next. ''The butler wasn't at the door, so whoever broke in just let themselves in. Then we heard footsteps echoing throughout the hallway, nearing our area. They were making such a racket, we knew there had to be more than one.''

''The butler finally went down to meet our unknown guests,'' the man in the first bed continued. ''There was a clatter and a thud, which caught our attention instantly. But before we could act, they were already in the room.''

It was clear recounting the story was distressing the men. The first bed's occupant carried on with the grim tale.

''The intruders had their faces covered, just like that other time. Big men — huge, in fact. They came at us one by one, damaging possessions, smashing glasses, breaking the brandy jar, and rifling through the drawers. They brandished guns and knives, making sure we knew they would use them on us if we didn't cooperate. Then they began to ask who witnessed the attack, warning us they would hurt anybody who they thought was lying, threatening to kill us if they did not find out. We all decided to come clean, to take the brunt of their wrath, as we saw our friends being injured right in front of us.''

Lord Melbourne closed his eyes.

''They told us that you did not take their threats seriously, and that now, it was a promise. _Just words_. They kept saying that, chanting it as they told us how stupid and selfish you were,'' the man in the second bed finished.

''We must have been knocked out, while the other staff fled the house in search of help," said the man in the last bed. "That must have been when they destroyed the house. It was untouched beforehand, according to a footman who ran for the front doors,'' he concluded.

''So this was late evening, the night I was travelling back from France?'' Lord Melbourne asked.

''Yes,'' all three men concurred.

''I am terribly sorry to have put you in such a position,'' he said regretfully, hanging his head low as though preparing for a beating.

''But it was not your fault, sir,'' the man in the first bed spoke up. ''We all knew the risks, and we do not hold such violence against you. It was not your doing.'' The other two men hummed in agreement.

''I should not have told anybody. I should have kept my injuries a secret.''

''You were barely conscious, sir, so people would have found out sooner or later. You needed medical attention. We wanted you to inform others to ensure you received the proper treatment,'' the man closest to Victoria confided.

''I shall be forever grateful for your service to me,'' Lord Melbourne replied, almost sheepishly.

''Your happiness, sir, is the greatest payment of all.''

Lord Melbourne smiled at Victoria, an expression of pure relief softening his features. The three staff members observed their interaction, knowingly grinning amongst themselves.

V&M

''Your staff is very loyal,'' Victoria remarked in the silence of the moving carriage.

''Yes, they are, which is why I felt so guilty for their being hurt. It is all my doing,'' he replied sadly.

''You need to stop blaming yourself, especially now that you know your staff does not. Take that as a comfort and move on so you can focus on tracking down the assailants,'' she said, looking out the window as London passed them by.

When Lord Melbourne failed to answer, Victoria turned to face him, only to find him smirking at her. He looked more at ease than he had been in a long time, his mind put to rest that his staff held no vendetta against him. It buoyed her spirits, as though she shed the weight he had also carried.

''You have been the only thing keeping me sane through all this,'' he said, moving closer to Victoria and grasping her hands tightly. He longed to kiss her, to pour his emotions into her, to make her understand her importance to him without words. But the carriage was not concealed; he was not about to cause another scandal by putting his love for the Queen on public display.

''But I haven't done anything special,'' she argued.

''No, but that is precisely the point. Your presence alone has been a comfort, one I have not experienced for many years.''

Victoria shook her head. ''I have felt so useless to you.''

''Sometimes, actions speak louder than words,'' he countered, kissing her hands tenderly before releasing them.

Victoria smiled back, feeling giddy inside.

V&M

Dinner was undeniably more enjoyable that night. The genial atmosphere, which had basically revolved around a single sensitive topic for the past few days, had lifted everybody's mood.

Lord Melbourne in particular was in excellent humour, conversing, laughing, and acting like his usual good-natured self. Victoria knew the fact that he was not to blame for the attack was the real reason for this transformation. She kept a watchful eye on him, as he discussed his staff's recovery process with his friends at the table, claiming they would be back on their feet in no time.

She remembered their first evening at Brocket Hall, where they spent several hours alone together undisturbed, with no judgment from his servants. Because they already knew who he spent his time with, Lord Melbourne made no effort to conceal her from view when walking her to the door. He was right to trust in their discretion.

Victoria's own household was loyal, but the fondness she had for them was nowhere near what he felt toward his staff.

Victoria turned to Emma, who sat beside her. ''Tell me, how long has Lord M's staff been under his employ?''

''Years ma'am," she replied. "He treats his servants very well, and they tend not to leave once they begin working for him. In fact, William seldom refers to them staff. To him, they are his friends.''

''They must have witnessed a lot over the years,'' Victoria mused.

''Yes, ma'am, a great deal,'' Emma replied.

Victoria smiled and looked over to him. She suspected his staff had seen him at his weakest and watched him build himself up over time, maybe even providing him with a bit of advice here and there. His refusal to rest until he could be assured of their safety and comfort now made perfect sense. Perhaps, he held her in the same regard.

After dinner concluded, it was just like old times. Guests migrated to a large sitting room, settling themselves around the fireplace, where they played card games. The men enjoyed their alcohol, while the ladies participated in meaningless chatter. Victoria had grown to miss such easy pleasures. And yet, she couldn't help but want things to be different, even now.

She desperately wished to share the news of her upcoming nuptials. Despite an initial period of shock, she hoped her household would eventually be happy for her, supporting her decision as they did other matters. A part of her reminded herself that this would be a life-altering event, meaning not everybody would view the event quite the way she did. However, the rational part of her reasoned that confronting the issue head-on would likely put a stop to many of the problems she and Lord Melbourne faced.

The timing would never be perfect, for no matter how they chose to make their announcement, it would cause a public outcry. Surely it would be more advantageous to tell the people sooner rather than later?

She found herself building up the courage. After all, she _was_ the Queen.

A sudden knock at the door, followed by solid, precise footsteps, caught her attention. To her utter disbelief, her Uncle Leopold sauntered in, smiling warmly at Victoria and coming over to embrace her.

Victoria, along with her ladies, rose from their seats and backed away, stopping him in his tracks. ''What are you doing here?'' Victoria whispered in dismay.

''Victoria, I have come to see how you are faring. I feared I should not have left England so soon,'' he tutted, playing with his hands distractedly. ''I am gone for just a few days and your Prime Minister's house is burgled, his staff attacked...''

The King directed his pompous gaze at Lord Melbourne, who rose from his chair. Untapped rage coursed through his veins as he was again reminded of the weeks of planning and scheming it must have taken to put those devious plans into place. All his anger culminated in that one moment, eradicating the last vestiges of his composure. "How do _you_ know about that?" he seethed.

Leopold had the gall to look smug. He figured he could play to the crowd, hide in plain sight, and commit horrible offences without repercussions because he was King of the Belgians. Now that Victoria knew about his nefarious deeds, she could read the dishonesty in his face and hear it in his voice, as well.

She had been blind not to notice it before.

''Well Uncle, as you can see you have ruined our evening. We have been perfectly fine until now.'' She spoke with enough spite to knock the powerful man back a few steps.

''You see Victoria, I told you this would happen," Leopold scolded. "You have avoided your duty for too long now, and it is well past time we put this to rights. I am sure my sister will agree.'' He turned to the Duchess, who, to his chagrin, remained seated.

''No,'' she replied resolutely. ''My daughter deserves happiness with people she can trust. And much to my regret, brother, you are not one of those people.''

Lord Melbourne, fed up with the man, stood, along with Emma Portman's and Harriett's husbands, to emphasize that Leopold had become persona non grata. Everyone could tell the King was becoming unhinged.

''Do not talk nonsense! We know what's best for her! She is still a child who, after all this time does not understand the importance of her duties.''

Victoria boldly stepped forward. ''I have something to tell you, Uncle,'' she stated in a low voice, just loud enough for everybody else to hear. ''And you are not going to like it.''


	42. Winners By Mistake

Lord Melbourne stood beside her, his back straight and breathing shallow, his heart beating so forcefully it threatened to burst from his chest. He fairly trembled as Leopold appraised both lovers, wearing a benign smile.

''Well? Pray, do not keep me in suspense.'' He lifted his eyes heavenward, a mannerism he perfected over the years to express exasperation with those he considered not worth his time.

Since neither Victoria nor Lord Melbourne broached the topic to anyone — both the Queen's staff and ladies, her closest allies, were utterly clueless — they feared the rest of the court, Parliament, and notably, the Privy Council, would not be so accepting of their union. The public would undoubtedly protest.

And yet, they couldn't hide their love from the world forever.

''I have concluded, Uncle, that the only reason you have graced us with your presence is to push me to marry Albert, yet again.'' Victoria stated.

''I am trying to do what is best for you,'' he said quietly, keenly aware of the people surrounding her.

''Do not…interrupt me!'' Victoria exclaimed sharply, summoning her God-given authority to keep the upper hand. ''You wish me to marry Albert for the allowance, the power and the name. It is not because we are well-suited or because we could produce an heir together; it would simply entitle you to all the many advantages England has to offer.''

''You are being silly Victoria,'' the King said, stepping forward to grab her elbow. ''Come, let us talk in private. Somehow you have become confused.'' His awkwardness was apparent.

Anger surged through Victoria. He was treating her like a child, meant to be sheltered from the rest of the world, raised in such a way as to render her passive and insignificant. ''NO!'' she shouted, wrenching her arm from his grasp. ''I am not a child. I am the Queen, and I _do not_ wish to marry Albert. Why do you refuse to accept this?''

''Because you do not know what is good for you!'' he snapped, losing all sense of decorum as he felt every eye in the room boring into him.

''Well, I, in fact, do know what is good for me. I know what I want, what makes me happy, and what makes me feel safe. You have ruined my relationship with you! I cannot trust your judgment anymore. You have become altogether too power-hungry, Uncle.''

With the tension in the room so sharp it could be rent with a knife, Victoria forged on.

''I have decided, after much consideration, to make a very important announcement here before all of you, tonight. If I continue to wait, it shall never be said.'' She looked across to Lord Melbourne, who, though a bundle of nerves himself, offered a small smile and nod of encouragement, signalling his acceptance of the inevitable, though he was just as eager to share their news as she was.

''What are you trying to say, Victoria?'' the Duchess inquired with trepidation.

Victoria took a deep breath and scanned the group. ''I have asked Lord Melbourne to marry me,'' she said, pausing for effect. ''And he has accepted.''

The collective hush in the room was deafening, everybody attempting to absorb the astonishing news.

Leopold's harsh laughter intruded upon the pensive atmosphere. ''You must be joking.'' He laughed even louder, but Victoria was not amused. Supremely insulted by this rude interruption, she cast such a withering glare upon the King that it yanked him back to reality with a thud. ''My dear Victoria...have you quite lost your mind?''

''No,'' she replied with absolute certainty. She scanned the room with a most regal bearing. ''I do want to marry, but only if it's for love. I hope this decision will favourably affect the fate of all future monarchs, as well as inspire the people. Everybody should be able to spend their lives with someone who will cherish them and bring them as much joy as I now feel. No one should be coerced into marriage to further another's political ambitions.'' She aimed this last remark at Leopold.

''But Albert would make you a brillia-''

'' _Enough_ about Albert'' Victoria said firmly. ''I am marrying Lord Melbourne, and whoever opposes our marriage will be asked to vacate the palace immediately; I shall not tolerate negativity in my own home. My decision is final!'' Victoria spat.

The King looked over at the assembled guests, who remained huddled behind Victoria. Out of nowhere, a person standing in the back started to clap, breaking the oppressive silence, seemingly lifting the mood. Soon, others began to join in until the entire room echoed with resounding approval. Victoria looked over to her mother, who smiled warmly at her daughter, clapping her hands gently together alongside Victoria's ladies.

With the sobering knowledge he had been outmanoeuvred, the now disgraced King of the Belgians turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.

As soon as he quit the drawing room, people rushed to congratulate Victoria and Lord Melbourne, offering kisses and polite felicitations. Of course, they would keep any misgivings they shared to themselves. In all honesty, Victoria had her own fears to contend with. But that was beside the point. Worrying fixed nothing. Action was the only remedy.

Lord Melbourne walked away from the small gathering, grabbed his drink from the table, and took a celebratory sip. Now people knew. Now it was real. He smiled to himself.

''You have done right,'' Emma said as she walked up to him, taking in his unusually blissful countenance. ''I am very happy for you both.'' She embraced her friend in a hug, feeling him wrap his arms around her in a brotherly fashion.

''I am not sure the King shares our sentiments,'' he pointed out, raising the glass to his lips once more. He briefly wondered what Victoria's own lips would taste like, tinged with the flavour of her champagne.

''Do not spare that odious man another thought, not tonight. Enjoy the moment, William. You deserve it.'' Emma squeezed his arm affectionately before returning to the others.

V&M

Victoria caught up with Lord Melbourne in the hallway after following from a short distance. He seemed to be wandering around with no specific destination in mind. Then she saw him meander into an unoccupied guest wing. He strolled over to the glass doors and stepped out onto the balcony, inhaling the cool, refreshing twilight air, marvelling at the diamond-like scattering of stars that saturating the heavens.

''I never planned it, you know,'' Victoria said from behind him, interrupting his reverie. He turned his head slightly, not altogether surprised she would be there, before returning his gaze to the darkened palace grounds.

''I must admit, I was almost petrified for a moment there, ma'am. The whole thing could have become a huge spectacle.'' He caught her eye as she stood beside him and surveyed the landscape for herself, carefully leaning against the intricately carved stone railing.

''There would never be an ideal time to make an announcement as bold as ours. I know some people are bound to take offense, and it will probably create considerable ire for years to come. But I felt it would be wiser to disclose our secret now, rather than give my uncle another opportunity to follow through on yet another devious plan.'' Victoria felt she owed Lord Melbourne a full explanation, as though he might be cross with her for such an impetuous action.

''I agree,'' he replied quietly. ''You did the right thing, Victoria; I never doubted that.'' He turned toward her and sighed contentedly. ''Let us be winners, but by mistake.'' He gently brought her hand to his lips and kissed it in fond remembrance.

Glancing at the sky for a final time that evening, he led Victoria back through the richly furnished guest quarters towards the hallway, never once relinquishing her hand. Nor did he revert to his formal, professional demeanour — this new version of William Lamb seemed to bask in the sheer freedom of the moment, not caring in the least that all eyes were trained upon them. She squeezed his hand and melted into his body, rendering the scene that much cosier.

Whatever the guests did happen to witness, their faces did not convey disgust or anger. Instead, the newly engaged couple was greeted with smiles and further murmurs of congratulations. Most just ducked their heads and continued on their way; others were compelled, likely by the nonstop flow of champagne and other liquors, to be a little more verbose with their farewells. All in all, not a bad start to their life together. He grinned to himself at the notion.

Perhaps it was England's worst kept secret after all.

''You may retire with me tonight,'' Victoria said, clutching his hand, all but dragging him along the corridor leading to her rooms. Not accustomed to such displays (at least in the palace), Lord Melbourne allowed it; privately, he found it adorable. ''No more hiding,'' she boasted, practically bouncing with glee despite her staff bustling past.

He smiled but abruptly stopped walking, causing her to stumble a bit. She softly giggled. ''Ma'am, as much as I would like to indulge you, I'm afraid the King still poses a very viable threat. We do not yet know what he might be plotting, and he may want to act faster than ever now he knows we are marrying.''

Victoria shook her head and slowly traced her thumb along his palm in lazy circles. ''I understand, but surely we can discuss this in the morning.'' Her fluttering eyelashes spoke volumes.

She practically repeated Emma's words verbatim; perhaps he really should just leave things for tomorrow. After all, it was only right that he get to have his fiancé all to himself. ''Of course, ma'am,'' he winked, watching her blush prettily. Their lips were a hairsbreadth away when an untimely voice broke through the lovers' spell.

'' _Meine liebling_.''

Victoria reluctantly pulled her hand from Lord Melbourne's and decided to indulge her mother.

The Duchess didn't speak. She simply pulled her daughter into a hug, pressing her tightly against her chest as she drew in a long, shuddering breath. ''If you are happy, Drina, then so am I.''

''I am, mama. Very happy indeed,'' Victoria said in reassurance.

Her mother turned away and dabbed at her eyes, blonde ringlets bouncing with each footstep.

Her youngest daughter was going to wed her scandal-ridden, middle-aged Prime Minister. This was not how she envisioned such a momentous occasion transpiring. She knew Victoria understood that such flagrant defiance of royal protocol would cause quite a commotion, and she must be prepared for such consequences. But in honour of this one special night, she would allow any lingering doubts in her mind to dissolve, along with her tears.

V&M

Sunlight burst through the royal bedchamber again; the dreaded tomorrow had arrived.

Victoria rolled over in her bed, still half-asleep as she snuggled up to her companion, letting the warmth of his skin seep into hers underneath the goose down coverlet. In no time, his slow and steady breathing lulled her into a light, dreamless slumber.

Not an hour later, Lord Melbourne awoke, well-rested for the first time in what felt like weeks. Sprawled in this bed, an earthly angel snoring faintly beside him, a profound sense of serenity washed over him. There was, for one brief moment, nothing to disturb his peace of mind: no having to deal with infuriating politicians; no overflowing dispatch boxes to wade through; no royal fires to extinguish. Best of all, he could not recall suffering through a single nightmare about the attack.

That beautiful solace first settled within his soul mere seconds after meeting his Victoria on that fateful June morning she became Queen. It took root the moment he first beheld her bright sky blue eyes. Despite all the times he denied his feelings for her, against all possible odds, here he was living out his wildest, brandy-induced fantasies.

Lord Melbourne propped himself up on one hand, peering down at her in open admiration. Victoria opened her eyes to discover the handsomest pair of golden-green eyes. She knew that the mere presence of this man could turn even the most frigid woman into a veritable puddle of lust. But frigid she was not.

He traced his fingers over the shell of her tiny ear. "It feels strange not having to conceal the truth any longer," his voice huskier than ever.

''And we shall never have to hide our love again,'' Victoria mused cheerfully, fussing with her pillow and using it to prop herself up against the headboard.

''I should probably make myself scarce, ma'am. Your dressers will be arriving shortly.'' He slowly tugged off the bedclothes and climbed out of bed.

Victoria lay still while he slipped on the robe that was conveniently placed within arm's reach of the bed, staring unabashed as he wrapped it snugly around his well-muscled torso. She remained entranced as he moved over to the window, where he lifted the heavy brocade curtains to reveal the sun-dappled grounds, tying back the drapes so that the room was flooded with warmth.

Lord Melbourne turned and caught her ogling him. Something about the scene just seemed extraordinary to her; he was an incredibly attractive man in the morning. She slid her tongue over her suddenly parched lips.

''What is it?'' He went to pour a cup of coffee, in no way oblivious to her reaction.

She rewarded him with a captivating smile, which imbued her ivory skin with a radiant glow. She padded the vacant spot to her left. ''Sit here, my darling.''

He abandoned his coffee and settled his weight on the bed. She rose to meet him, covers slipping down invitingly. He took in the tousled waves flowing haphazardly past her shoulders; appreciated how her chemise highlighted her delicate curves.

Oh, how he ached to touch her.

Now then…we have all the time in the world,'' she purred, wrapping her arms around his neck and drawing him down for a kiss.

The feverishness of her touch forced his sleep-dampened mind to sharp attention. He growled into her mouth as her tiny hands wound their way around his body, gliding along the contours of his chest and back, gripping his shoulders as his hands latched onto her waist and drew her closer.

They remained intertwined for a few minutes, sharing each other's space. Senses heightened, they became lost in each other.

Victoria urged him to climb atop her and cover her body with his imposing frame, excited at the prospect of him continuing to educate her in the ways of the flesh. Though it went against every instinct he had not to heed their mutual desires, the proper gentleman inside Lord Melbourne told him to wait. ''We cannot,'' he uttered, even while idly trailing hot kisses down her neck. His hands crept up her bare legs, stroking the satiny soft skin beneath his fingers.

''Why ever not?'' Victoria demanded, breathlessly.

''Because sex before marriage is considered, well… _scandalous_ ,'' he replied sternly, whispering that last word for emphasis. With supreme reluctance, he removed his hands from her legs and slowly released her.

Victoria huffed, frustrated beyond measure. ''I should think we are past that point.''

''Yes, perhaps we are; however, no one else, and I mean _no one_ , can ever find out the exact nature of our relationship,'' he said, pulling her plump bottom lip from between her teeth.

Lord Melbourne was as annoyed and flustered as she was, but if anybody heard them in the throes of ecstasy, there would be far worse to be anxious about than getting the Privy Council to approve a morganatic marriage.

''How do you propose we get around this?'' Victoria implored, almost in a whisper. Her desperation was evident — as was his arousal, to his chagrin.

''Do not worry, ma'am. I am sure we can find a solution. But for the time being, we are just going to have to arrange some…meetings.'' He cupped her chin beneath two fingers and placed a delicate kiss on her lips. It would have to suffice for now.

V&M

Victoria sat in her chambers, working through her boxes. Lord Melbourne had left her to handle the less arduous tasks whilst he spent the day at the House. There was something to be said for returning to business as usual. For as much as she longed for it almost since the beginning of their acquaintance, she realized having him spend the night in her bed, under such intimate circumstances, felt slightly odd.

Besides her regular duties, various arrangements needed to be made before any wedding plans could be put into place. Victoria wanted to ensure she could garner everybody's support and understanding for what was bound to become a highly sensitive matter. Completing as much work as possible before preparations were set to begin would hopefully make the entire process as stress-free as possible.

The door clicked open right when Victoria was hitting her stride. She looked up as Leopold sauntered into the room, strangely at ease. She afforded him a passing glance before returning to the letter she was composing. ''What can I do for you now, Uncle?''

''We need to talk,'' he replied without hesitation.

''I am rather busy at present. Surely whatever it is cannot be that pressing.'' Victoria sealed the letter, grabbing another document from the half-finished stack. Even with Lord Melbourne away, she was more than satisfied with the progress she was making.

''No, we are going to have this conversation right now,'' he snapped, snatching the document out from beneath her hands and shoving it aside.

''It seems you have forgotten who you are speaking to.'' Thoroughly vexed, the Queen stood and stared down the King. ''Why can you never be happy for me? Everybody else is.''

''Do you really think people are 'happy' for you Victoria?'' The bitter tone of his voice got under her skin.

''No one has protested,'' she argued with a shrug.

''That would be because no one dares to argue with you. Victoria, you have always been such a wilful, selfish child, it is no wonder you refuse to accept your sacred duties. Had my dear Charlotte survived–''

''Be very careful, Uncle,'' Victoria warned. Leopold, undeterred, stepped closer.

''No,'' he sneered, towering over her. '' _You_ be careful,'' his voice was muted, but more menacing than ever; his finger pointing directly in front of her face.

He had the good sense to back away, but he was still too close for Victoria to be comfortable.

''Your staff's motive is simple. You offer the best wages for miles, and they are all too aware that if they were to protest you would dismiss them. Unfortunately for you, however, your people, not to mention several members of the House, are not so inclined to keep quiet. You are going to create an upheaval, all because you chose to follow your silly little heart rather than using your damned head!'' he shouted, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Victoria's pulse raced, but she willed herself to stay strong and resist his attempts to bully her into submission. ''My business is my own, just as my problems are my own. You shall never tell me what to do, nor manipulate me into doing anything. So if this is your tactic, I suggest you change it.''

''Oh I don't need to change anything. You are the one making irrational decisions. Mark my words, the people will protest and will, under the right influence, question your sanity. Your only recourse then, if you care to keep your crown at all, is an arranged marriage.''

Victoria scoffed. ''The public does not care for Albert. He has been described as wooden and predictable— a 'clockwork prince'.''

''Maybe, but he is royal, and he is more than capable of siring an heir. Whether you like it or not, the pair of you are well-matched, and your stupid and risky actions only serve to improve my case. I do not have to do a thing; everything will fall into place, as it was always meant to.''

Leopold's smugness was nauseating. He began to leave the room, but Victoria was not about to let the scoundrel have the last word. She picked up her skirts and rushed to catch up with him.

''And how about if the public finds out that you, my own flesh and blood, are the mastermind behind the attacks? All those defenceless victims; the bizarre chanting; conveniently knowing exactly when I would be at my most vulnerable. All signs point to you. After all, your motive is sound enough.''

The King folded his hands behind his back and puffed out his chest, looking down at her as though she were a recalcitrant student. ''And what evidence do you have to prove that theory, hmm? Just because people pay attention to gossip and rumours, it does not imply they will act upon them." His eyes changed then, turning cold and steely, with an almost predatory glint. "If I were you, I would watch out; there may be more to come.'' He leered at her then, repulsing Victoria, right down to her bones.

Victoria stood stock still, waiting with ragged breath for him to quit the room, which he did as calmly as he entered it. On wooden legs, she managed to return to her desk and retrieve her document, but everything she read was all a blur because his sickening words kept repeating in her mind.

In the end, she barely accomplished much at all.

V&M

Even though he had told her it was only supposed to be a short visit to the House, Lord Melbourne took considerably longer than anticipated. He promised he would delay announcing his retirement from the Premiership until meeting with the Privy Council, unless an important vote came up during that time; in which case he would have to surrender his position post-haste, lest it be perceived as an abuse of power.

Victoria practically wore a hole in the plush Oriental carpeting in her frenzied impatience to see him so she could discuss her terrifying encounter with the King.

She was thoroughly frightened of him now, at last able to comprehend the reasoning behind all the secrecy. Leopold posed a major threat, and though every inch of her wanted to send him away, she resolved to consult with Lord Melbourne about it before making a decision.

Her ladies would do little to placate her, and confiding in her mother about the subject was out of the question. Victoria did not want to involve anybody unless absolutely necessary.

It then became apparent that the threat to everything lied with her uncle, who had enough support both in the House and abroad to arrange a marriage under the basis of her soundness of mind (or lack thereof).

He was beginning to remind her of Sir John a great deal.

''Whatever is the matter?'' Lord Melbourne's voice, smooth and serene as ever, soothed her frayed nerves almost immediately.

''My uncle…'' she started, fiddling with her lacy shawl as she turned and walked towards her chambers. He followed close behind her.

V&M

''So he threatened you?''

''Not exactly. I would say it was more of a stern warning. He just told me to watch out, whatever that means, and also said that the Privy Council would not agree with my decision.''

Lord Melbourne took a seat in his favourite tufted wingback chair. ''You know they more than likely will not grant you their permission, but given time, I am confident we can change their minds.''

Victoria continued to pace the room, unconvinced. ''Members of your very own staff suffered life-threatening injuries solely because of me and my romantic inclinations. I do not want him to target my staff next…or come after you again! You know he is perfectly capable of doing just that.''

Lord Melbourne patted his thigh and she instantly took a seat on his lap. He gathered her close and stroked her arm lovingly. ''The sooner the public knows, the less he can do about it,'' he affirmed.

''It cannot be that simple,'' Victoria said quickly. ''He has people on his side, doing his dirty work for him. But who could they be?''

"I wish I knew, ma'am," he sighed. "I wish I knew."


	43. Bad Dreams

Poor Lord Melbourne.

It was impossible to refrain from making love to her until after the wedding. Denying himself tested his will power, slowly chipping away at what little remained of his self-control.

The sexually demanding beast in him had been clawing at its cage to jump the little minx. However, the gentleman in him gallantly stepped forth to tame these crude impulses, just as he had been for neigh on three years.

Victoria was such an alluring, desirable, achingly beautiful woman, whatever she wore, no matter how elaborate or plain. Unbeknownst to the young sovereign, she had commanded his attention from day one of their acquaintance.

Tonight was no exception.

The dress she wore was a stunning creation: deep green velvet, ruffled at the neckline and flaring out towards the bottom. It was sleeveless, the corset beneath pulled to within an inch of its life. His mesmerized gaze appreciated the way the dress clung to her lithe frame and exposed her curves, darkening his orbs to the colour of a dense, dangerous forest.

Her delicate fingers tapped away at the black and ivory keys with intense precision, her eyes closing as the music flowed through her. There was such beauty in the way she played, as if pouring her heart out through her nimble fingers.

No one with eyes could fault Melbourne for staring. He was no longer the lecher people painted him as; he was her fiancé. Regardless of whatever difficulties life might throw at them, she was going to be his in every possible way.

That thought alone excited him most indecently — in _every_ possible way.

Due to their clandestine relationship, he was obliged to make himself scarce for an hour or two in order to ensure he could enter her bedchamber undetected. Most of the household would have retired for the evening, Victoria herself being prepared for bed.

" _Marriage_ ," he pondered, as he crept through the dimly lit upstairs corridors.

After Caro died, Melbourne never gave marriage a second thought. As he once informed Victoria, his only wife had been enough for him. However, after Byron crashed into their lives and spirited Caro away, he lost the ability to trust. The pain and hurt of losing somebody he once loved so dearly led him to swear it off for good.

Never truly coming to grips with how the spark of their young love could settle into ashes – despite everything he and Caro endured, including the death of dear Augustus – had to be the greatest punishment of all.

So many years slipped by, with loneliness as his most stalwart companion, that he had forgotten to miss those little, seemingly mundane civilities: to wake up in the morning next to someone, to share meals together, to explore each other's bodies – in short, to enjoy what married life had to offer.

That is, until he was called to the presence of four foot eleven Alexandrina Victoria.

Never before had he felt such longing for anything, tangible or not. An incurable romantic, he acknowledged that soul mates do indeed exist. That he could not act upon his instinct to express his feelings had never left him so bereft.

He grew to despise the solitude that his allegiance to Queen and country demanded he befriend, holing up in his library with comforting bottles of brandy.

The pain of self-denial was unexpected and astounding.

Although he could never claim to be a religious man in any sense of the word, Melbourne felt undeniably blessed that Victoria had rejected an easy life with a dashing young prince who could offer her decades together, in favour of an aging, jaded Prime Minister. Beyond that, he became even more devoted to her, an angel sent to drag him out of his stupor.

The notion long abandoned, he snuck into her chambers, the lights turned down low, a subtle reminder of his joyous predicament. Victoria was sitting up in her bed, candle flickering on her cherrywood nightstand, seemingly engrossed in yet another novel. She lifted her head as he advanced towards her bed.

She rewarded him with a broad smile, watching him remove his robe with much interest. He climbed in next to her in his cotton nightclothes, wasting no time in pulling her close. He tried to suppress a sigh but was not entirely successful.

''You look distracted. Is everything ok?'' Victoria placed the novel atop her tower of books on the nightstand and carefully blew out the candle before snuggling into his body.

With great restraint, he slid his hands up and down her pale pink silk chemise, her skin underneath just as soft. He continued to defy his newly established principles by drawing circles on her bare legs. ''Everything is perfect,'' he replied, with no trace of the melancholy of days past.

" _Now that I can touch her, hold her in my arms, breathe her in, all is as it should be,"_ he mused to himself. His eyes drifted shut as a sigh of pure contentment escaped his lips.

V&M

 _It was pitch black as she padded through the strange room, barefoot, clad only in her nightgown. Just then, a flash of light illuminated the darkened space to reveal a horrifying tableau: Lord Melbourne was tied to a chair with a gag covering his mouth. Positioned on either side of him were two burly-looking guards, faces concealed. And there lurking in the corner, gun in hand, stood her uncle Leopold._

 _Victoria's eyes widened in alarm as she took in the bleak surroundings. There were no doors or windows; they were trapped with this lunatic with no escape in sight. Her screams for help, unsurprisingly, fell on deaf ears._

 _She launched herself forward to free Melbourne from his bindings but was tugged back none too gently by another guard, who materialized out of nowhere. He was about to restrain her in a similar fashion._  
 _  
She watched in anguish as her uncle walked over to Lord Melbourne, bound and helpless in the chair. After Leopold gave a signal, one of the guards began to rain blow after blow upon his mute form.  
_  
 _"NO!" Victoria screamed and screamed._

Melbourne awoke to Victoria's frantic stirring, the room coloured the pitch black of twilight. He considered returning to sleep, but the moment her fist slammed against his chest, it became evident she was in profound distress.

While she continued to squirm around in the bed, groaning and grasping at the sheets, he swiftly lit a candle. He could tell she was in the throes of a nightmare, with her eyes clenched shut and a frown marring her smooth brow. Faint droplets of sweat glistened across her forehead and soaked through her nightgown. The pillows were also slightly damp as a result of her exertions.

He hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. Little by little, her movements slowed down in response to his soothing touch. Her frown diminished, and her eyes slowly opened, fixing onto his.

Though greatly concerned, he felt to offer any words of comfort would be a futile gesture. He squeezed her shoulder instead.

Realisation struck her as she became familiarised with her surroundings. Suddenly, she bolted upright, eyes dashing in every direction like a wounded animal. Then came the torrent of tears. She dove into Melbourne's ready embrace, barely catching her breath while sobbing out her fears into his solid chest.

Victoria clung to him as though he were the only thing left to hold onto in the world.

Lord Melbourne was rendered speechless, for he had no idea what could have upset her so much. He continued to hold her and stroked her matted hair, quietly hushing her as the tears soaked through the front of his nightshirt. Eventually, her breathing returned to normal as she began to calm down.

Gradually, she separated herself from his arms. Melbourne searched her red-rimmed eyes as she peered up at him, cheeks flushed. Her hands began to tremble a little, perhaps due to shock.

Something had truly frightened her.

It cut him to the core to see Victoria in such a state; she had never looked so vulnerable or exposed in all the time he'd known her. ''Are you alright?'' he whispered, worried that raising his voice might further frighten her. She remained frozen, reminding him of a deer poised to flee for its life in the blink of an eye at the faintest sound.

Victoria closed her eyes and nodded, silently slipping back under the covers, her perspiration evaporating due to the chilled air in the room. She stared at the ceiling with a blank expression, willing her mind to forget her awful dream, the imagery too realistic to be completely disregarded as mere subconscious thoughts.

When she saw Lord Melbourne reach over to extinguish the candle, her arm shot out and grasped his shirtsleeve. ''No! Please, leave it be,'' she begged, swallowing as her throat went dry.  
She waited anxiously for his response.

''Of course,'' he replied without hesitation, gathering her into his arms. With her head resting on his chest, clutching his strong forearms, Victoria found the peace and comfort she so desperately needed and fell back asleep.

V&M

Melbourne was the first to awaken and accidently disturbed her while stretching out his long limbs. That was when he recalled the troubling events of the previous night.

To his relief, Victoria appeared the picture of tranquility, blinking against the fresh light streaming through the curtains. She began to twist and bend, rubbing at a sore spot on her neck.

Had she pulled a muscle in her sleep?

''I am surprised that your household did not put up a fuss when they found out we would be sharing a bed together,'' he mused, with a conspiratorial smile and a twinkle in his eye.

''Well, they haven't got much choice in the matter, do they?" She caressed his cheekbone, as though it had been sculpted from the finest marble by Michelangelo. "I told them what would happen and they accepted it. Lehzen was none too keen on the idea, but then again she never is when it comes to anything remotely sexual.''

He blushed, rubbing his eyes as he thought of how fortunate he was that fate would bestow upon him, a lonely widower several decades her senior, a woman as remarkable as Victoria.

''I shall never tire of waking up beside you every morning,'' he murmured, taking in the charming display she presented, with her dark, lustrous hair all dishevelled and chemise askew.

She smiled, her body as relaxed as can be.

Lord Melbourne leant over her and slowly placed a delicate kiss upon her lips. She returned it with fervour, gliding her hands up to his neck, holding him close to her as she enjoyed that moment of pure, unadulterated intimacy.

Just them. A man and a woman. No one else existed. No one to intrude upon their precious time together.

They moved one step closer to being married, to having the future they both yearned for. Hopefully after today the Privy Council would leave the session having gained enough insight into their particular situation to guarantee a favourable outcome.

Victoria's skin tingled as Melbourne's elegant hands encircled her tiny waist, fabric bunching between greedy fingers, pulling her tight against him as they pressed their mouths together repeatedly.

Unfortunately, his inclination to prolong this most stimulating occupation was thwarted by that irksome gentleman; he tore his lips away.

Victoria was left panting and disorientated.

''You have a busy day ahead of you, ma'am.'' His hands refused to release her waist just yet.

''You know, sometimes I feel like you no longer desire me,'' Victoria huffed, folding her arms across her chest.

Melbourne could see through the ruse; she was just being playful. And he so badly wanted to participate in her little charade.

He linked her fingers within his own, squeezing them for a moment before placing her hand over his throbbing groin.

Victoria audibly sucked in a breath at his insolence, her usual witty retort eluding her. His brief action had stunned her into silence.

Melbourne smirked knowingly. ''Actually, it is incredibly…hard…to say no to you…Victoria.'' He started kissing her senseless once again, plunging his tongue into her pliant mouth.

It was absurdly difficult not to give into his crazed need to ravage her; he had never had the distinct pleasure of being in such a position before. People were bound to have their misgivings, but adding strange noises from the Queen's chambers to the mix would not exactly improve matters.

Victoria rubbed her hand over his groin with purpose as she deepened the kiss, her body now flush against his.

He groaned at the sensations assaulting him. All too soon, the beast, which broke free of his cage when no one was looking, was discovered and promptly locked up and admonished by the gentleman. Cursing internally, Melbourne gently disentangled himself from Victoria, who silently begged him to continue.

The still painfully aroused Prime Minister shook his head. ''We must stop now. You have to prepare for the Privy Council session today. Or have you forgotten?''

Victoria sighed. She certainly _had_ forgotten. ''What do you think they will say?'' she asked, biting her lip as she awaited his answer.

''Well, for one thing they will be less than enthused to hear about it,'' he replied huskily, tucking a stray strand of golden brown hair behind her ear. ''But they will likely negotiate their terms with you. Please keep in mind that whatever they decide to offer, you must consider. Do not make them your enemy.''

He relished the opportunity to guide her through the mud and chaos that lie before them.

''I will not yield to their demands,'' Victoria argued, scrambling to get out of bed. She stood tall and proud in her near nudity and looked him straight in the eye. ''I am the Queen. My opinion is paramount.''

Melbourne sat up straight and hissed, finding himself in the awkward position of needing to leave the bed whilst concealing his very responsive lower body. He watched her don a cream, floral-patterned robe and pad across the room as if in a daze.

''You will have to retire as my Prime Minister today,'' she said sadly.

''Yes, indeed,'' he rasped.

Melbourne thought it was incredibly odd to converse in such a manner when only minutes before his hands were memorizing the planes and curves of her body, exploring her sweet mouth, her small hand nearly causing him to spill his seed on her sheets.

''I was rather expecting it to occur under an entirely different set of circumstances," he reflected, scratching at the new growth of stubble on his cheek. "Certainly not one so...controversial.'' His eyes flitted to the window. ''But I shall not miss the stress one bit.''

Victoria came and stood next to him, carrying the belt to her robe. ''How do you plan on spending your free time?''

''Guiding you, I suppose. I can still act as your personal secretary. But remember that although I am well informed enough to explain the contents of your boxes, I cannot step on the new Prime Minister's toes.''

She sat next to him, but not overly close. ''We do not have to go through with this if you would rather not relinquish your role. I think you love being in the House more than you care to admit.''

''No.'' He shook his head resolutely. ''I enjoy the company, that is all.''

''It's not so terrible that you should grow to miss something that has been a part of your life for so long.'' Victoria said, reaching for his hand. "And more than that – you will be losing a part of your identity." She felt the sting of guilt and averted her eyes.

Lord Melbourne lifted his free hand to her chin and tipped it back to peer into her eyes. His gaze was soft but determined. ''Oh but how could I ever forgo such an extraordinary prize, only to gain a few more months or years stuck arguing with stuffy bureaucrats?'' he asked, smiling affectionately, stroking the dimple on her cheek.

His countenance sobered as he studied her face. ''Do you remember me waking you up in the middle of the night?'' He asked the question almost tenderly.

She visibly stiffened, though her smile remained in place. ''No, my love, I cannot say that I do.''

She was an appallingly bad liar.

''You suffered a nightmare,'' he said carefully, removing his hand from her face as Victoria rose and stalked away, tying the belt around her waist so forcefully that Melbourne winced.

''It could not have been so very bad, for I would have remembered.'' With her back facing him, she clenched her eyes shut, trying to rid herself of the vivid memory infiltrating her mind.

She knew without a shadow of a doubt what, or rather, _who_ , had triggered it.

V&M

Victoria studied herself in the mirror, clad in an ivory gown shot through with silver threads, her cumbersome sash looped around her shoulder and secured at the waist. She straightened it, noting her reflection as she recalled going through the exact same motions when she first addressed the Privy Council on her proclamation day.

She remembered how petrified she was. No matter how often she had met with the Council since, the prospect of appearing before them today made her want to shrink within herself.

''Majesty.'' Lehzen's thickly accented voice broke through Victoria's self-indulgent reverie. ''Are you ready?'' she asked with her usual decorum, and a hint of concern.

She took a deep breath and swallowed, nausea pooling in the pit of her stomach as her heartbeat began to accelerate. She stepped out of the private quarters unsteadily and encountered Lord Melbourne waiting in the corridor, attired like a true statesman in a black frockcoat, snowy white cravat, and beige trousers.

He knelt before her reverently, brushing her fingers with a kiss that both soothed and burned. As he rose, it struck her that this was likely the last time he would ever be required to perform the courtly gesture.

For a few seconds Victoria was whisked away to that morning when she waited, alone and uncertain, garbed in severe black satin, watching from a window in Kensington as William Lamb, Prime Minister and 2nd Viscount Melbourne, conversed with ghastly John Conroy. She had assumed he would fall under the conniving worm's miserable spell and continue her torment.

What she had not realised was that Lord Melbourne was no one's puppet and certainly not a monster. Instead, he took her by surprise – he complimented her wit, he asked about her doll! But most importantly, he brushed aside the notion of Conroy becoming her private secretary as if deciding against chocolate cake for dessert.

She had been a little brusque with him then, as she readily bristled at the thought of anyone, regardless of their true intentions, usurping her power before she even had the chance to rule.

Later that day, as she stood quivering before the Privy Council after her uncle Cumberland's comment shook her confidence, her eyes instinctively sought out Melbourne's. He encouraged her with that quirky facial expression she would remember for all her days. He saved her yet again when she couldn't recall Lord Ilchester's name, or those of most members of the Council for that matter.

Something changed then. She summoned a strength she never knew she possessed. He led her to the balcony and uttered her new name – _Queen Victoria_ – as if it had been lingering on his tongue for centuries. In turn, one of her first, albeit unofficial, duties as a monarch was to bestow upon him a new moniker – he was to be her Lord M.

As he stood resplendent before her today, she took in his fine, masculine profile; his kind, soulful eyes; lips that smiled often, but never too deeply; hands that had on countless occasions guided her out of carriages and smoothly handled the reins of his chestnut horse while they rode alongside each other, talking of this and that.

This was her Lord M, whom she grew to love, paying no mind to his being, as her mama warned, _disreputable_. But the Duchess could never understand that none of that meant a thing to Victoria. His past held no bearing on their future.

Even the most recent events, heart-wrenching they may be, had not severed their rare bond. They sealed his devotion to her, as her servant, her lover, and now, her future husband.

Nevertheless, Melbourne sensed her apprehension. In his official capacity, he could only offer her a brief smile and nod to reassure her of his support; he knew the coming reaction would be far from positive.

The pair walked into the room, the Queen primly claiming her throne, with Lord Melbourne taking his place in the front row, slightly to her left. All members of the Privy Council had assembled and were waiting patiently for her to open the session.

Victoria's throat went dry as she considered the rows of judgmental, frowning men.

" _Best to get this over with,"_ she thought, while they performed the customary bow.

''I have brought you here to discuss a proposal of marriage.'' A few members offered a benign smile, but many of the faces she recognised remained impassive.

Lord Melbourne caught the Duke of Wellington's eye and shuddered. It seemed he was already not impressed.

''I have asked Lord Melbourne to marry me,'' she continued, ''and he has accepted.'' She swallowed quickly.

Dead silence. No one moved an inch or uttered a single syllable. Their eyes were fastened on Melbourne, utterly dumbstruck.

''This must be some kind of a joke,'' her uncle Cumberland stated with his usual air of bored disdain.

Victoria shook her head. ''I have made my decision and stand by it,'' she argued, as eloquently as she could.

Confused mutterings, sighs, and groans resounded throughout the room.

''You have clearly not considered the consequences of this,'' another Council member added. ''He is the Prime Minister. Above anything else, such a union will come across as an abuse of power. The public will never stand for it.''

''The public has already expressed their desire for an English marriage,'' Victoria said in defence. ''I feel they shall take it quite well.'' She lifted her head and stared each man down, one by one.

A few members sneered, some even snickering as they began to deliberate amongst themselves.

''This is absolutely out of the question!'' another member cried. ''The allowances and position within the royal family would be compromised, and you would not be able to produce an honourable heir.''

''As opposed to marrying Prince Albert, I assume?'' Victoria inquired sharply, beyond weary of the topic of the German idol.

Everybody looked away, unsure of how to respond to that.

''I chose not to propose to Albert because I was not sufficiently attracted to him,'' she replied firmly. ''Despite my family's constant pressure, after spending time getting to know him, I soon concluded he was not someone with whom I could envision spending the rest of my life. We are not suited. I love Lord Melbourne. Whereas you all too readily presume he seeks status, an allowance, or power, he, in fact, seeks nothing more than my hand in marriage. I believe that is the most honourable thing I, as your Queen, could hope for.''

''And what about the public? They do not seem too pleased that you turned Albert away,'' Cumberland added, pompous as ever, as if he had better things to do. He hated everything about this farce of a match.

''Well I'm sure you know why that is, Uncle, but my involvement with Lord Melbourne has nothing to do with it. Thus, what the public does not yet know cannot affect them.''

Finally, it was Wellington's long-awaited turn.

''Lord Melbourne would have to retire, with immediate effect,'' he proclaimed with a finality that stung.

Victoria considered the Duke's commanding form. He had always held great influence over the Privy Council, and she knew if he were to lend his support, with time the other members should not be too far behind.

''Lord Melbourne will retire from his seat in Parliament and from his post as Prime Minister as soon as possible. The topic has already been discussed,'' Victoria asserted, watching Wellington nod imperiously towards the rest of the Council.

''And you are certain you comprehend all the risks involved?" he asked, one bushy white eyebrow raised. "It will never be a popular decision, ma'am, nor will the passage of time alter public opinion.''

Wellington's expression quite unexpectedly unsettled Victoria. She knew as an elder statesman and former war hero, his experiences over the years had been vast and varied. Surely he could comprehend what she was referring to.

''I refuse to marry for convenience's sake, to live unhappily just to appease the public or to gain favour from those of you gathered before me today. I simply wish for you to accept our marriage and for Lord Melbourne to be treated with equal respect.''

''Are you asking us to approve of something _more_ substantial than a morganatic marriage?'' the Duke pressed.

The groans of the men grew more pronounced. Melbourne flared his nostrils in annoyance, lips set in a grim line.

"I just want him to be able to walk with me into venues, to greet people with me, to stand alongside me on public occasions; in short, to be known as the husband of the Queen. Nothing more, and, certainly nothing less.

''I'm not sure we can so willingly submit to such nonsense,'' Cumberland stated, awash with his trademark pessimism. He turned and nodded to nearby members of the Privy Council, who did not exactly have to be coerced into agreement.

While Victoria had never cared for this group of single-minded men, today they were downright infuriating. She wanted to fight back, to be as assertive and convincing as possible, but she knew it would not benefit her cause.

What would it take to make them see reason?

''Lord Melbourne will retire as soon as we gain your approval. If we do not, he shall remain the Prime Minister.''

''It is quite obvious he has been romantically involved with you during his tenure as Prime Minister. How do you expect marrying Lord Melbourne will change things?'' the Duke inquired.

''From the outset, Lord Melbourne has been an extraordinarily good friend to me, and despite the obstacles I have encountered, his loyalty has never wavered. I trust him implicitly.''

She paused to exchange loving glances with Melbourne, who was filled with immense pride at her strength under pressure.

Her words of praise threatened to bring tears to his eyes.

''My hope is that in the years to come, those of royal blood will be able marry whomever they desire most, regardless of another's status. Why should we accept that because we are of a higher status we must endure loveless marriages for the sake of the monarchy? By marrying Lord Melbourne, it will serve to improve my role as Queen, because I will be more content with this man by my side. If I cannot marry for love, then I refuse to marry at all,'' she concluded, casting a fierce gaze over the assemblage of slightly awkward-looking men.

She closed the session and stepped down from her throne, walking towards the group of men that quickly parted so she could pass. The members of the Council bowed to her in unison as she and Lord Melbourne exited the room.

Finally, Victoria would be able to let out her massive frustration. She stomped through the corridors as they returned to the small room where she stood in front of the mirror, less than one hour earlier.

''How could they do that?'' she almost shouted the minute the door was closed. Lord Melbourne leaned over the desk, watching as she ripped off her sash and hurled it onto a nearby chair, huffing and pacing with clenched her fists. ''They cannot just shut down our proposition so quickly. Surely they have to take some time to consider it before coming down on us like that.''

''They will, ma'am, but you have to realize the request you just made is unprecedented. They will most certainly require ample time to discuss it and come up with some terms.''

Victoria stopped. '' _Terms_? What do you mean, terms?''

''No royal marriage comes without terms, and a morganatic marriage will be no different.''

''But I do not want us to have a morganatic marriage!" she cried. "And I shall not accept one. I just want you to be viewed as an equal, not for you to gain power, wealth, or prestige. It is for us alone and no other reason. Is that too much to ask?''

She felt like she was shaking.

He smiled warmly and clasped his hands together, a habitual stance that Victoria had grown to adore. ''A morganatic marriage is a small price to pay for spending your life with someone you love.''

As Victoria's eyes roamed lovingly over his already regal form, she felt her anger dissipate. She walked over to him and gripped his hands. ''I just want them to accept us and understand where I am coming from; perhaps not as a queen, but as a woman.''

''You must have faith, ma'am. Just give them time,'' he replied calmly.

V&M

Lord Melbourne wandered about the halls quite alone, mulling over the events of the past day as he sought out some friends who were enjoying an after-dinner drink.

He heard voices gradually get louder the closer he got. Turning the corner he came upon Leopold walking with a taller man. They stopped talking the second they saw him. The other man decided to leave, turning his back on the Prime Minister as Victoria's uncle sidled over to him.

''Your Majesty, I suppose you will soon be vacating the palace,'' Melbourne said dispassionately as the King appraised him.

''Yes, I depart later this evening. But I shall be back for this wedding,'' Leopold replied, his tone steeped in venom.

'' _If_ you are invited...'' Melbourne countered frostily.

''Oh…I do not require an invitation for what I have planned,'' the King said, smiling at Lord Melbourne's look of outrage before swiftly venturing off to catch up with the other man.

Melbourne was furious. _"That man is the devil incarnate!"_

He realised that even if their marriage was accepted, nothing would put a stop to Leopold's blood lust for power…and revenge.

 ** _There, hope it was worth the wait. Please review your thoughts if you have a minute._**


	44. Nature

_**I have handed the reins over on this chapter to JMS, who in my opinion has done a beautiful job. I take no credit. Enjoy!**_

It was a splendid early spring day; slightly chilly, but not unbearable. Victoria savored the wind that sang across her face as she and Lord Melbourne rode out together, following one of their favorite trails. The pair ventured somewhat farther than they normally would have, so immersed were they in their discussions about only the most inconsequential of topics.

Sky a pure powder blue, clouds patchy but sparse. The deciduous trees – some very tall and dating back several centuries – stood resplendent with newly replenished leaves. Waning sunlight peeked through each winding series of branches.

Victoria dismounted when they happened upon a clearing in the forest. She tied her reins to a thick branch, allowing her grey gelding to graze on the fresh grass. Melbourne glided his chestnut horse to a stop next to hers and quickly followed suit.

Victoria took in her surroundings and immediately spotted a bird's nest halfway up a wide sycamore tree. To her immense delight, nestled inside was a tiny turquoise and white speckled egg. In all her years she had never seen one up close. She turned and gifted him with the most precious of smiles. He took a quick look and let out a small laugh.

"Do not get too close, ma'am. If the mother notices you, she may decide not to return."

Victoria's face crumpled. "What? No, that cannot be so."

"Such is nature, my sweet. You mustn't interfere."

This last statement was laced with a subtle bitterness, and he internally cursed himself for letting it show. But his future wife was too preoccupied to notice any sound save the twittering of birds, the rush of the breeze, the gentle fluttering of leaves in the trees.

They needed this break from all the stress that life had rudely bestowed upon them ever since their relationship drew attention – this peaceful interlude in the midst of almost certain chaos.

Victoria bent to pluck a single primrose, idly playing with its petals. Melbourne marveled at her.

She imbued in him such a sense of renewal. She made him feel at least twenty-five years younger. She moved him. So full of love was he in that moment, his eyes began to mist over.

"Isn't this place wonderful?" She beamed at him, twirled around several times – and spun directly into a crabapple tree, knocking a few of the fruits from their spindly branches.

"Ooof!" she cried.

Melbourne, terrified, rushed to her side and pulled her to safety.

"Ma'am, do watch where you are going. Just imagine what people would say if I couldn't protect you from the clutches of an innocent fruit tree."

Victoria laughed and caressed his cheek. "I thank you for coming to my rescue, as always. But as you can see, there is not a scratch on me." She started to hum a tune while retrieving one of the fallen apples. She rolled it around in her hands, from one palm to the other.

He wished he could have her painted just as she was: framed by bright pink blossoms and sunshine, a shiny, pale green apple cradled in her hands, contrasting beautifully with her purple velvet riding habit with the floral trim, a personal favorite of his. The finished work would be hung in a place of honor in his bedroom in Brocket Hall.

Victoria broke the spell by crunching down on the fruit, juice dribbling down her chin and onto her jacket. She puckered her face and sputtered, tossing it into a brambleberry bush, narrowly missing Melbourne's leg.

He would have chastised her if he had not been so filled with desire. His cock twitched, and he grunted quietly. Instead, he settled for a mildly cross expression and a shake of his head.

"Forgive me, Lord M," she blushed. "It was just so bitter. And sour."

"There is nothing to forgive. But never, ever feed one of those to a horse. They can become quite ill."

She nodded as she attempted to wipe away the sticky mess with her sleeve. Melbourne tutted.

"Here, ma'am, let me help you with that."

V&M

Grasping her by the elbows, Lord Melbourne backed her into the trunk of a sturdy English oak. She landed with an imperceptible thud, the bark slightly scratchy against her back and shoulders.

She looked up at him with wide eyes, cheeks adorably flushed. Her breath caught at the beauty of him, haloed by the forest half-light, eyes a dizzying kaleidoscope of sea green and amber. A male cardinal chirped in the distance.

"Oh!" she exclaimed quietly.

He reached into his coat and pulled out a pristine monogrammed handkerchief and proceeded to dab at the juices that were settling into her skin much too quickly for his liking. Then it was carefully folded up and returned to his pocket. If he couldn't have a painting, he would always have this.

Melbourne brought his hand to her cheek, stroking it with his forefinger, the leather of his glove soft against her skin. Her eyes drifted shut at his sensual gesture. But he willed them to reopen.

"What am I going to do with you, Victoria?" he whispered.

His breath curled over her lips and he leaned in closer. It seemed to take him ages to descend upon her mouth; he wanted to prolong the moment. Then with a short, impossibly seductive growl he traced her lips with his own. They were firm, yet soft enough to tantalize.

Melbourne pushed her further into the trunk by her shoulders, careful not to be too harsh, but nonetheless unable to quell the need coursing though his blood. The scent of her skin assaulted his senses with its unbridled sweetness.

He slid both hands behind her neck, running his thumbs along the graceful column, just inside her collar, against her pulse points. Suddenly, his mouth collided with Victoria's with an intensity that took her off guard.

He kissed her chastely, with tender restraint, at least ten times, intermittently letting his lips hover a hairsbreadth away, maddeningly. Victoria was almost frustrated by such confusing ministrations. For heaven's sake, she was not a porcelain doll!

Melbourne abruptly pulled away, raked his eyes up and down her form, and walked back towards the palace.

"Where are you going?" she called.

He turned to her slightly and held his hand out. "Wait here, ma'am." He swiveled this way and that. Their 'chaperones' knew perfectly well to stay out of sight for at least an hour.

An hour would have to suffice for what he had in store for her.

V&M

Victoria was more than ready to move on, but the skirt of her riding habit got caught on something jagged. She gingerly attempted to pry it loose but to no avail.

"May I be of assistance?" Melbourne was barely gone for two minutes and already he was at her beck and call.

The pleasant memory of her portrait reveal resurfaced. " _Always, Lord M,_ " she thought.

"Well, I seem to be…stuck." She tugged and tugged at the heavy fabric with all her might.

"Between a rock and a hard place, I see," he replied drolly. "Let me try to get you out. Keep still."

Melbourne crouched down to examine the source of the problem. He brushed away a stray twig or two and easily freed her dress from what looked to be a rather large, weathered rock wedged closely against the base of the tree.

He smoothed out her skirt in a sort of trance, caught in the crosshairs of earthy tranquility and raging lust. While stooped down, he spied her stark white petticoat poking out; it had a speck of dirt on it. He gently swiped at it, but his gloves were a hindrance.

As she no longer felt resistance, Victoria decided it was time to see what else could be discovered in the enchanting landscape. "Thank you again, kind sir." She began to take a step forward, but Melbourne halted her.

"Not so fast, Victoria."

"Lord M, I assure you I am quite released from my predicament."

He scoffed. "I would unfortunately have to disagree with you in that respect…ma'am."

His expression was inscrutable as he swiftly peeled off his gloves, removed his top hat, and placed it on the ground upside-down. Never rising from his position, he dropped his gloves inside the overturned hat and pushed it an arm's length away. He knelt fully at her feet, fingering the embroidered hem of her skirt.

Victoria was getting antsy. "Whatever are you doing down there?"

"Assessing the damage," he deadpanned.

"Well I can assure you, that which appears ruined can be mended easily. Skerrett is an excellent seamstress."

Melbourne could not suppress a smirk.

"Ma'am, if you would be so kind as to lift your skirts a little, I will be able to…check more thoroughly." She complied, but not without an audible huff of annoyance.

His preternatural green eyes fixated like predator to prey on her newly revealed kid leather boots, their laces tied into neat little loops. Melbourne rubbed a little at a delicate ankle and sighed.

He had possessed her many times: pounding her senseless against the wall in his office at the House; palming her perfect, petite breasts; fondling her heart-shaped bottom. And yet, he was still left wanting.

He should feel ashamed of himself; if not for his lewd thoughts, then for being so blatantly forgetful.

"Are you quite finished?"

" _How impatient she is,"_ he noted, almost evilly.

"A little higher, if you please." It was a command to his Queen, in the noble guise of a request. But there was a flinty edge to his voice.

Puzzled by his strangeness, Victoria gathered more of her tailored dark lavender skirt and two light petticoats – any more would be too cumbersome for riding – and lifted them a scant two inches.

"More," Melbourne breathed huskily. She obeyed and he immediately set to nuzzling her inner calf with the tip of his nose.

"That tickles, Lord M!"

"I shall keep that in mind." His fingers began to travel up her right leg, slipping behind her knee. Victoria burst into a rather unladylike fit of giggles.

"Shhh," he told her in a warning caress against her fine woolen stockings. His very nerves were salivating with need for her.

Finally, his intentions hit her full force. With a look of barely concealed wonder, she raised her skirts a scandalous six inches.

Melbourne reached above both knees. He eagerly rubbed his thumbs from side to side, where the knit material met her skin, occasionally skimming over the ribbons securing her stockings.

She craned her neck to get a better view as she could not understand what was happening. "William, I thought you said –"

He gripped the circumference of her slender thighs, squeezing twice, just hard enough to get her attention. He huffed impatiently and gave her a slightly admonishing look. "My dear, as we are out here in the open, I am sure you realise we are never completely alone."

This rule annoyed him to no end. At his age, especially, he should be able to enjoy a woman wherever he damned well pleased! It was yet another barrier to endure, courtesy of royal protocol.

But endure it he would. He had survived far, far worse.

He released her legs and, pushing the skirts so that they exposed her modest cotton knickers, laid his hands over her own. His bare skin pressed against hers still encased in riding gloves, her heat radiating through the supple leather.

Victoria's eyes grew round as a sudden forceful gust of wind whipped against the thinly covered area between her thighs. She gasped loudly at the unexpectedly pleasant sensation and bit her lip out of habit.

Melbourne's eyes rose at the sound. They darkened with purpose as he honed in on her slightly parted rosy lips, while his member strained to be released. He would have to remedy that later.

"Yes, please do that."

"Sorry?" Had she heard him correctly? Surely not.

He cocked one dark eyebrow and could just barely meet her eyes, so distracted was he at the perverse manner in which she was displayed before him.

"I want you. To bite. Your lip." At her look of incredulity, his mouth twitched with a brief smile. "This time, I'll allow it. You shall soon see why."

She complied so fast he had to stifle a laugh. "And do not let go of these, either," he said solemnly, shaking his hands over hers, encouraging her to tighten her hold upon her skirts. He reached down to lightly massage her mound through the thin material, idly dragging his thumb across her slit through the slight opening of her knickers. His eyes returned to her face. "Or I shall stop."

Her breath caught in the back of her throat. He stared her down without a hint of amusement.

Ever the attentive pupil, Victoria did not need to be told twice.

"That's it, love." Prying apart the cloth, Lord Melbourne brought his perfect nose closer to take in her essence for the very first time. He sniffed and his eyes rolled back briefly.

Perfection. Soft musky honey. He was at that point in danger of spoiling the moment by ruining the front of his trousers.

Melbourne had had enough and promptly divested her of her knickers by snaking his hands beneath the corset, which had inconveniently trapped the waistband. After grasping the ribbon holding them together with one hand, he carefully glided it from beneath the whalebone structure. When it fell to the level of her lower thighs, he frantically wrenched the tedious undergarment down, all the way to her ankles.

He stared at her reverently for a time, just taking in the unsullied loveliness of her partial nudity set amongst a backdrop of rainbow-hued wildflowers, foliage, and birdsong, until his desire could hold out no longer.

He positioned her legs into a wider stance to give him better access. He nuzzled at the fleshy tops of her inner thighs, licking here, nipping there. He stroked her outer lips with the backs of his long fingers and pried them open gently to reveal her inner folds.

Pink, glistening, unfurled petals greeted him. Like morning dew on a rose. This woman deserved to be worshipped!

V&M

The cool breeze taunted her yet again. She hissed with pleasure.

"I do so love to kiss you, Victoria," Melbourne murmured, inching towards her. She detected a hint of mischief in his voice and moaned in anticipation.

"I*kiss*." "Adore *kiss*." "You*kiss*," he pronounced just above the hood of her clit, slowly dragging his tongue beneath each time, lapping at her tangy nectar. He held her hips more firmly as her body began to wobble on the uneven terrain.

"Does my young Queen approve?"

Victoria purred like a lioness in heat.

"It is my honour to serve you, ma'am." More kisses, in a maddening series of three, now followed by an expert trilling of his tongue right over her pearl.

She nearly lost her grip on her skirts then, and he pulled back without hesitation.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked with a feral glint in his eyes.

She shook her head emphatically.

Lord Melbourne reapplied himself to his task, which really was no task at all, but rather the highest privilege one could bestow upon him, next to marrying his Queen. And performing that other most sacred of rites…

"You are so ripe," he rasped harshly. "Like a little peach." Slowly, without warning, he plunged two fingers into her. _"And a tight little peach at that,"_ he noted with primal satisfaction.

She was sopping. There was no other word for it. As he started to pump his fingers inside of her, her wetness trickled down his wrists and clung to her trembling thighs.

In the background the trees tousled their branches softly. The ethereal essence of violets and bluebells mingled with that of lush mosses, herbs and resins, creating an exotic woodland perfume.

Her breathing became erratic, thoughts turning positively vulgar. She wanted nothing more than to scream like the most wanton of harlots, right in the middle of that pristine idyll. _"Oh, I bet he would like that."_ But Lord Melbourne did not allow her to speak, at least for today. So she clenched her walls against his probing digits while biting down on her lower lip, as instructed.

Beads of perspiration lit up his forehead, and sweat trailed in rivulets down his back and dampened his chest hair. It bothered him, but he was nowhere near finished with Victoria.

"Would Her Majesty like _another_ kiss?"

Looking elegant as ever in his immaculate navy frock coat and amethyst silk cravat, one might overlook the fact that the usually dignified Prime Minister was on his knees in the middle of the forest in broad daylight, creating wet slopping noises as he rammed the Queen of England with his fingers, deeply, mercilessly.

Indeed, he was serving his country well.

For Victoria, there was only Lord M, her most devoted servant, protector, advisor, and constant friend; her one true love, who feasted hungrily upon her body. In the process he had robbed her of both rhyme and reason. Her back arched against the trunk as she grabbed for his short dark chocolate curls with one hand, desperately clutching her skirts with the other.

"Mmmmm….uuuggghhh," Victoria keened, out of her mind, absolutely overwhelmed by the novelty of it all. And the filthiness.

Who knew a man would ever want to put his mouth _there_? Her Lord M was certainly a man of many surprises.

She panted helplessly through her nostrils. Her lips sorely abused at that point, she clamped her teeth around her forefinger instead. Even the smell of her leather glove was turning her on. How agonizing!

Melbourne abruptly ripped his sodden fingers out and wiped them on her thighs, gripping a softly rounded hip. His wet thumb rubbed at her swollen bud in small circles. He tapped at it incessantly, driving her mad. His little Queen was nearing her peak, he knew.

He blew on her clit lazily before closing his lips over it and suckling hard like he would a nipple. He dove into her, the heady aroma making him groan as his tongue prodded at her slick opening repeatedly.

He kissed her there, too.

Stomach tensing, thighs quivering, she squirmed in his grasp, trying to pull away. That only incited him to tighten his grip. A profound sense of ownership overcame him just then.

"You are so utterly mine," he growled feverishly.

Victoria's ears burned at his impassioned declaration.

He gently bit at her exposed silken thigh and she thrashed her head about against the trunk. Pins fell from her hat, knocking it askew, its gossamer veil catching on the rough bark.

"Come for me, my beauty," he murmured, totally fixated on her engorged pearl. He let out the most base, urgent, guttural noise she had ever heard as he ground his face into her wetness. Melbourne sucked on her clit with deliberate precision, determined to make her lose control.

"Let me drink my fill of you, Victoria," he rasped.

This shockingly rough language was extremely arousing to her, and she soon felt herself unravel as little darts of warmth soaked through her tightly bundled nerve endings. He let out another groan, and it vibrated through her entire being, piercing her soul.

At one final stab of his greedy tongue, a hot, stark starburst of sensation rushed through the heart of her clit. Victoria entered a state of pure rapture. She flooded his lips and chin with her juices as she wailed in total abandon, grinding down on the finger lodged between her teeth.

Melbourne felt utterly triumphant as her surprisingly strong thighs clamped around his head, dampening all sound until her scent, her sweetness were all that existed anymore. He clung to her with his lips and hands, never wanting to relinquish her – his beautiful orchid come to life.

Just as the last spasms of her orgasm rippled through her spent body, Victoria lost her grip on her skirts entirely and they tumbled over Melbourne's head, layer by frilly layer.

In her fog of delirium, she realised his predicament too late and scrambled to free him. While trapped amidst her petticoats, her legs, and her humid femininity, Melbourne somehow managed to pull up her drawers; they were more than a little damp. He really did not want to leave.

V&M

After brushing the dirt from his fawn breeches, he pulled on his gloves and resettled his top hat. Victoria could only stare at him, still slightly disorientated, as she set her skirts to rights and attempted to tidy her mussed up hair beneath her own hat.

Once again towering over her tiny frame, he studied her mouth and sighed. He bent forwards and quite shamelessly rubbed his fully saturated lips over hers, mindful of the fresh marks she had inflicted upon herself in a bid to keep quiet. He also rewarded her for her trouble by rimming the very tip of his tongue over a tender bite mark.

Victoria licked at the saltiness of her blood where she had bitten herself severely at one point, as well as something she couldn't place. Melbourne raised an eyebrow. When it at last dawned on her, he smirked knowingly.

He was tasting herself!

She closed her eyes, bereft of words. Now she felt beyond wanton; if such a thing existed. He took advantage of her hyperarousal and slipped his tongue in her mouth, tangling it with hers, making sure she appreciated how divinely luscious she was.

Now emboldened by a surge of dominance, he grabbed her breast with his left hand, while his right snaked down the front of her bodice, past her stomach, settling in between her thighs.

"You may belong to the people of England," Melbourne whispered against her lips, "but this here" – he brazenly cradled her core, pressing his fingers against her little button, stroking her quickly while looking intently into her cornflower blue eyes – "belongs to _me_!"

" _Oh dear God, not again!"_ Victoria's body quaked, her mind awhirl.

He held such power over her. And she loved it.

"Do you like being corrupted by me?" She nodded incoherently.

He continued to paw at her breast, the gentleman having been knocked out cold by the beast. The pressure of his denial had broken him.

Their tongues danced together. Victoria moaned into his mouth as she pushed her heaving breast into his hand. Melbourne pulled back and bit at a delicate earlobe.

"You will come for me again," he insisted, grasping the back of her neck, bunching her skirts in his hand as he rocked it against her little nub relentlessly. He placed hot, wet kisses along her jaw. Her lips visibly trembled. He returned to her earlobe and suckled.

"Ever since I laid eyes on you, you became mine. You know that, do you not?" His own breathing was growing more labored. "Your mind; your heart; your beautiful body…" He cupped her womanhood fully and squeezed.

Victoria clawed her fingers through his hair and cried out. He turned his ear towards her mouth to capture every inarticulate utterance. He could have sworn he heard his name in there somewhere.

V&M

They held each other afterward, he leaning back against what was now _their_ tree, her head resting on his chest, allowing the soothing breeze to calm their frantic heartbeats.

Melbourne could have crowed at his achievement if his eyes were not full to the brim with love for her. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. Time stood still no longer, much as he wished it would.

"Well, ma'am, as much as I have enjoyed our little…well…" Now it was his turn to look away slightly flustered.

He had tried so very hard to tame his temporary madness. Perhaps he was being selfish, even hypocritical. But today he caught more than a glimpse of the eighteen-year-old Victoria with whom he had fallen so desperately in love. The very same woman who, three years later, boldly defended her feelings for him, to the possible detriment of her reign.

He did not deserve her. But neither could he resist her.

He took a deep breath and collected himself, adopting a statesmanlike air. "The day grows late. We'd best get you back to the palace."

"Erm, yes," she nodded, too stunned by her latest carnal awakening to manage anything resembling an intelligent response.

They walked back together, Victoria's strides considerably less forceful than usual. After a couple minutes had passed without conversation, she felt it was as good a time as any to broach their least favorite subject.

"I have written to the Privy Council and asked for their decision," she said, wringing her hands together. He looked at her sharply and stopped short.

"Perhaps waiting for their reply would have been a better option, ma'am," he replied. Victoria looked over to him.

"I need to know now, William. If they are not in favor of the marriage, I will have to further convince them of its merits. I cannot wait to determine their mindsets before it is too late to change them."

He nodded; she did make a fair point. "You shall have to pick a new Prime Minister soon," he remarked wistfully.

"But you will help me, even if it is just to provide basic advice?" she asked hopefully, pleading with her sparkling doe eyes.

"No," he asserted. "I simply cannot. It will not help our case with the Privy Council."

"They do not know what we talk about when we are alone," she argued. _"Or, what we_ do _when alone."_

He didn't even have to glance at her to read her one-track mind. "I hope we shall not talk about matters of state when we are alone, ma'am," he said with a teasing smile.

Victoria laughed. "Not all the time, surely."

She took in their woodland oasis – for that is what it became that day, especially in light of the new intimacies it encouraged. Nature was in full bloom: the grass thick and swaying, animals running about, sunshine warming her face. It had pushed her dark thoughts away. For now…

"I have missed this," she admitted finally.

"I have, too, ma'am."

They untethered their horses and Victoria was carefully lifted onto her saddle. She adjusted her skirts and settled in. Melbourne swung his long leg over his own horse and urged it forward. She clucked at her gelding, and the couple started back towards the stables.

Once they broke into a trot, she felt it. She felt it again and again.

Melbourne remained impassive, eyes focused on the trail ahead of them. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

Victoria grimaced. "Perfectly!" she lied. He nodded and they continued on in silence.

"How about a nice canter, then? I shall race you to the stables."

Victoria gulped but straightened her spine nonetheless. "Challenge accepted, Lord M."

The horses increased the beat of their gaits. Almost instantly, she bit her lip. If a little moan escaped from her every now then, he never mentioned it.

" _One mustn't interfere with nature,"_ he mused.

 _ **Please leave a review.**_


	45. Never Enough

_The corridor was dimly lit, with only a few candles to guide her as she slowly walked across the stone floor. Her heels clicked along, echoing against the massive bare walls. Victoria was garbed in a voluminous white lace gown and held a simple bouquet of fresh flowers._

 _She was getting married. She should feel elated. So why was she anything but?_

 _Her steps quickened as she noticed hints of illumination emerging from the doorway at the end of the corridor. Before she even knew what was happening, Victoria found herself hastening towards it, her breaths coming rapidly. Pausing for a moment she grasped the door handle and twisted. Once unlocked, the door opened to reveal a bright, gorgeously decorated room full of people she knew. Each one turned to smile at her as she slowly padded down the aisle, along the path of a long, narrow red carpet._

 _At the end stood a tall uniformed man facing toward the front, near an altar. When she finally reached him he turned, revealing his young, German features, with mocking blue eyes and a smug smile beneath his elegant ash brown moustache. Victoria suddenly felt trapped as he stepped towards her._

 _''No!'' she said frantically, looking over to her mother and uncle, who sat in their pew nodding quietly. She peered around, realising that, strangely, every single guest in the room was smiling and nodding at her. She turned back to Prince Albert. ''Not you, I do not love YOU!'' She struggled to free herself from his vicelike grip, dropping her bouquet in the process. ''Please!'' she implored him, tormented._

 _Through the haze of her tears, her eyes continued to scour the room, finally landing upon her Lord M. Although resplendent in his court uniform and appearing perfectly serene, he nevertheless mirrored the actions of the other guests, smiling and nodding like a puppet without strings. Such an unnerving and terrifying sight. ''NO!'' she shouted, pointing at Lord Melbourne. ''I love HIM!''_

 _''But he does not love YOU, Victoria,'' Albert hissed in her ear. She screamed at his words._

Victoria jolted awake instantly. Holding her hand over her mouth, she tried to control her breathing. Her face was damp; it was obvious she had been crying. _  
_  
She closed her eyes, trying to convince herself it was just a dream. Melbourne rested beside her, his chest rising and falling to the steady rhythm accorded by heavy slumber. If he was with her, then all was as it should be.

The covers made her oppressively warm, so she carefully peeled them away. Rising from the bed, Victoria allowed the chilled air to soothe her overheated skin. She walked towards the dying fire in her chambers, trying to subdue her racing heart, and she took a seat on the divan before the fireplace. After absentmindedly stoking the scattered embers, which had cast a faint glow throughout the room, she urged them once more into a roaring flame. _  
_  
These dreams were realistic to the point that, even when fully cognizant, she was adamant those awful things would happen. The stress her uncle caused her was becoming overwhelming. He left two nights prior, but Victoria was still too angry with him to say goodbye or see him off. The danger was in the past for now, but she knew storm clouds were brewing just over the horizon.

She sighed, realising in that moment why Lord Melbourne had kept all this under wraps, and why he refused to disclose a single sordid detail to her about anything that transpired. Leopold posed a greater threat to them than she cared to admit.

V&M 

The Queen slept in. Sunshine burst through the curtains, gradually nudging her awake as she blinked away the harsh brightness. Her hand sought out Melbourne's form, but it was met with crumpled linen instead. Victoria sat up, rubbing her eyes as she came to grips with her surroundings. Thankfully she had suffered no more nightmares for the remainder of the evening. But it had taken ages to fall asleep afterwards. Who knew closing one's eyes could be so difficult?

She slipped out of bed and checked the time. When she realised how late it was, she gasped and frantically rang the bell for Skerrett.

V&M

Victoria picked up the skirts of her light blue day dress and bolted down the corridor, fabric billowing around her. However, she was not in such a hurry that she failed to take in the wide, ornately wallpapered halls of the palace, bathed in candlelight, filled with staff bustling about. _How cosy_ , she thought to herself, finding solace in the familiar.

She found her ladies and mother sitting patiently at the table, having forgone their morning meal as was the protocol for a detained monarch. Rushing to her seat, she plunked down and was promptly poured a cup of tea. ''Thank you,'' she said to the servant, who bowed and left the room, closing the door behind him. When the Queen finally dug into the poached eggs and bacon also set before her, cutlery and fine china hastily clashed and clattered together; breakfast had begun at last.

''I trust you slept well, Drina.'' The Duchess eyed her daughter warily as she spoke from the opposite end of the table.

Victoria sighed. ''Not really. Lately I keep having these awful dreams.''

''Try not to worry so much, Drina. Dreams are of little consequence,'' her mother replied matter-of-factly.

''But they do seem quite realistic to me,'' Victoria argued. "I always wake up shaking and crying."

Her ladies' faces were etched with concern. Victoria gave them what she hoped was a disarming smile. ''They never last very long. I just struggle to fall back asleep, which can make it difficult to wake up normally; as you can see.'' She took a sip of tea, just how she liked it, with milk and two lumps of sugar.

''I read somewhere that it often happens with soldiers returning from battle,'' Harriett offered.

Emma nodded readily. ''Yes, I have as well. Apparently certain situations, when recalled, are rendered much worse in their own imaginings. I believe it is some kind of stress disorder, linking back to a traumatic and difficult experiences.''

''Perhaps Sir James should take a look at you,'' the Duchess stated worriedly.

Victoria frowned and shook her head. ''It is not that bad, mama. I am sure they will pass quickly enough.'' She smiled to everyone, unwilling to elaborate on the subject any further.

V&M

Victoria attended to her boxes by herself. She had not seen Lord Melbourne since the evening before. She supposed he would be at the House, finishing up matters regarding his retirement as Prime Minister. Part of this unsettled her. __

She wanted him in her life more than she dared to admit. Having to adjust to a new Prime Minister would mean replacing some of her ladies with Tory wives, changing certain policies, and dealing with other issues she was only just beginning to comprehend. Most disheartening of all, he would not be able to act as her advisor anymore.

The Privy Council was probably fretting about that, and although they had good reason to be doing so, he had assured Victoria he could not get involved in any future parliamentary decision-making processes. Nonetheless, she hoped he would still be allowed to guide her in certain instances, especially as time went on and party members learned to accept her decision.

 _If_ they accepted it.

The door opened without any knock or announcement. As if reading her thoughts, Melbourne walked in briskly, catching her eye as he strolled towards the desk.

She always thought he might find it awkward to re-establish their working relationship, perhaps reverting to formalities or politeness around her. But he must feel welcomed enough, as he no longer felt obligated to kiss her hand or ask permission to enter. One day he stopped doing so altogether. It made her happy as she knew he would never admit to feeling at home in such a place.

''How did you sleep?'' he asked before placing a delicate kiss on her cheek, squeezing her shoulder as he circled the desk to sit in his own chair.

''Very well, thank you,'' Victoria smiled.

''So that dream didn't bother you then?'' He started looking over some documents that had already been signed as her ears perked up.

''What dream?'' she asked nonchalantly.

''The one you had last night,'' he replied plainly. ''You thought I didn't know?'' He cocked his head to one side and regarded her fondly. ''You shouted in your sleep.''  
 _  
_Victoria closed her eyes and felt a wave of annoyance. ''It was similar to the one I had the other night, but I do not see why it is such a big deal. I am sure with time it will go away,'' she countered with a shrug.

''That all depends on what you are dreaming about. A dream with recurring themes or imagery is not something to be taken lightly. It serves as a reference to your current state of mind," Melbourne explained casually. "Now, what is troubling you so thoroughly that you refuse to tell even me?''

''It is nothing,'' Victoria answered, almost too quickly. But he knew her too well to accept that stock answer.

''I would bet anything it is connected to our marriage,'' he said, putting the paper down. Already he felt his irritation rise with alarming speed.

''But not to you!'' she exclaimed ardently, worried he might get the wrong idea. ''It was about an arranged marriage...to Albert.'' She grimaced.

His visage darkened. ''So! Your Uncle Leopold is behind it.''

Victoria nodded.

''That man has a lot to answer for,'' he said in a low tone. ''Hopefully now that he has returned to his own country, you can relax a little.'' He neglected to mention the fact that the King planned to return for the wedding. It was not relevant.

He felt in dire need of a distraction; for the both of them. __

"You know, I had hoped your subconscious would push thoughts of an entirely different nature to the fore," Melbourne teased with a dashing quirk of his brow. __

Victoria's tired eyes moved away from the tedious memorandum she had no patience to decipher that day. They shot to his. __

It was a mistake. The look he gave her just then could melt the sheets right off her bed. She gulped. __

Melbourne, taking that as an invitation, rose and rounded the desk, tracing his fingertips along the smooth polished wood. When they reached Victoria, he lifted his hand and glided it from the bottom of her bodice, up between her breasts, past her collarbone, stopping at the little beauty mark set atop her exposed left shoulder. He caressed it with his fingertips reverently; he bent down and flicked at it with his tongue. __

Victoria sighed at the oddly pleasurable sensation. Dragging his firm lips up her neck, he grazed her earlobe with his teeth and only the faintest pressure.Just when she thought she could not stand it anymore, he growled. With every successive kiss along her jawline, she fought a battle of wills against herself.

 _I want it. I don't. I need it. I can't. I should. I mustn't. I..._

He arrived at her mouth. The bite marks were just beginning to heal. The front of his breeches tightened.

"Back to work, Lord M?" __

Melbourne jerked back as if cold water had been thrown in his face. But then he understood. Yesterday had been distracting enough for an entire week, at least.He had to learn to temper his ardour around her, but it was damned difficult! __

"As you wish, ma'am," he uttered somewhat sheepishly. He returned to his seat and shifted around for a few tense moments, attempting to find the most suitable position to ease the discomfort of his predicament.

Victoria twirled her quill pen thoughtfully and hummed to herself.

Not long after, she rung for tea and they sat in companionable silence on the divan. She pondered with wonder just how far they had come in the few short years of their acquaintanceship. Her lips curved upward as she sipped at the milky brew. When she went to refill her cup, Melbourne let out a sigh. __

''What?'' she asked, bemused at his wistful expression.

He laughed a little and leaned towards her. ''Your smile...it will never be enough for me.''

She obliged him again as he clasped her chin between his finger and thumb, kissing her gently. Her lips brushed against his like the finest of silks, a sensation he would never tire of. ''It makes you happy,'' she whispered, clasping her hands around his neck.

''And, as they say, happiness is the greatest gift you can give anyone,'' he said quietly, a smile playing on the corners of his lips before he tilted her head back and kissed her senseless.

V&M

Victoria admired herself in the mirror, smoothing down her evening gown. The opera house was by far one of her most favourite places to visit. Although she had only been there on a handful of occasions, each time sparked new and exciting emotions in her.

Her bright red silk taffeta gown was accompanied by a diamond necklace, adorned with smaller ruby stones, and a matching diamond bracelet, followed by a single white rose pinned to the centre of her chest, its sweet smell wafting up to her nose as the breeze from the hallway stroked her face.

Skerrett placed a white fur wrap over Victoria's bare shoulders as she walked down the corridor towards the waiting carriages. The two had put a great deal of effort into tonight's ensemble. The opera house was primarily frequented by royalty and aristocracy, and she was consistently admired by its members, not to mention the public, who waited outside the palace for a glimpse of their Queen in all her finery. Ultimately, though, this was for her Prime Minister's benefit. Upon witnessing his reaction when he came into view, she knew her efforts had paid off.

Lord Melbourne was convinced the butterflies in his stomach would never cease their fluttering — something he should have been used to by now, since it occurred each and every time he encountered this incredible woman.

She looked radiant. Though the gown she wore was not overly extravagant, it brought out her comely figure, clinging to her slim curves right down to her waist before flowing out loosely around her legs. Naturally, his eyes zeroed in on the rose perched between her breasts. That little touch above all else made him smile. Thankfully, any thoughts he had beyond that were no one's business but his.

He knew the novelty of being able to admire her would never fade. Eyeing her from her crown to her feet, he grinned to himself like a fool as those gathered near the foot of the stairs observed their interaction. As Victoria neared him, a highly becoming blush crept up her cheeks and she looked down at her gloved hands, an unusual display of shyness at his undivided attention.

Melbourne offered his hand to her and she took it, feeling a slight squeeze. His magnetic eyes never left hers. Expecting him to raise it to his lips, to her surprise he placed a soft, fleeting kiss upon her cheek instead. He then leaned in ever closer to whisper in her ear: _  
__  
_"My little enchantress." __

He pulled away to gaze at her lovingly and she stood transfixed. Someone cleared their throat discreetly, and she forced herself to glance around at her ladies, mother, and servants, all of whom looked away slightly embarrassed. Her fiancé clearly enjoyed the effect his actions had on everyone.

"Shall we?" He offered Victoria his arm and helped her down the front steps before guiding her into the carriage. He followed, resting his back against the deep blue cushions. His evening attire was impeccable: a well-cut black frockcoat and trousers with a gold patterned waistcoat and an ivory silk cravat.

Her ladies, who were also attending the performance, rode in a separate carriage, while the Duchess preferred to remain at home.

As their carriage drove off, Lord Melbourne looked over to Victoria before releasing a long breath. She giggled as the tension suddenly lifted. ''I believe you surprised a few people.''

''Yes, that was my intention,'' he smirked. ''But you know we will not be able to behave like that at the opera house. The public do not know yet, and it will appear quite strange for me to be stepping out of a covered carriage with you, let alone for me to be holding your hand.''

''Oh hush,'' she said, playfully nudging him with her elbow. ''You need to loosen up; they are going to learn the truth soon enough.'' _  
__  
_"Have a care, ma'am," Melbourne replied in mock indignation, rubbing at his invisible injury. She rolled her eyes heavenward and laughed once more, eyes straying to the sights of London after dark. __

After a time, he interrupted her pleasant reverie. ''Have you heard back from the House yet?''

''No, but I believe I shall in the morning.'' No more was spoken on the matter that evening.

When they walked into the impressive building every eye fell upon her. She smiled and waved congenially before grabbing a glass of champagne and walking alongside Lord Melbourne into the royal box. It was quiet up there, the more affluent members of society struggling to peer into the enclosed area to catch a glimpse of the Queen...and her ever attentive Prime Minister. Victoria ignored them and focused excitedly on the singers, clasping his hand behind the cover of the box's edge.

Victoria's ladies viewed the couple from one row behind, smiling conspiratorially to each other as the plush velvet curtains lifted.  
 _  
_The prima donna sang with a passion that seeped into Victoria's soul and lifted her spirits, inspiring in her a renewed hope for better days to come as she admired something so simple and understated. The singer spotted Victoria just before hitting a high note, beaming at the monarch's obvious approval.

The intermission arrived far too early. During the second act, Melbourne turned towards her to see a few tears slip down her cheeks. Victoria did not always have to understand the language to be able to appreciate such immense talent. _  
_  
She smiled, dabbing her eyes as the noises from below forced her back into the real world. ''How can you not enjoy this?'' she asked, rising with him.

''I do, ma'am, only the opera does not tug at my heartstrings in quite the same way as it does yours.''

''Well, next time we shall do something you can both enjoy and get emotional over,'' she said with a wink as they entered the expansive, crowded hallway.

A messenger came running towards them as they were about to reach the exit, fear blanching his face as he panted rapidly. He bowed and handed a letter to Victoria. _  
_  
"From the palace, Your Majesty." He bowed once more and stepped away. Victoria could tell it was urgent, not only from the boy's apprehensive manner, but also from the rough penmanship, the ink not quite dry.

She tore open the envelope with shaking fingers, hurriedly ripping out the paper and devouring its contents. The missive read like chicken scratch, but it got straight to the point.

Victoria sucked in a breath, unable to speak or move.

''Are you alright, ma'am?'' Melbourne placed a hand on her arm to steady her as she began to wobble in place.

She began to tremble as she blindly shoved the letter into his hands. He didn't seem to react to it other than by turning towards Victoria's ladies and ordering them to keep a close watch over her as he rushed towards the doors, the messenger following directly behind.

''Send for Sir James. Urgently!'' he demanded, and then ran towards the servants. ''I need both royal carriages brought around at once.''

V&M

Victoria now found herself panicking as the horses charged down the street, the heavy carriage trailing behind them. She could hear their hooves banging against the cobblestone streets as fast as their legs could carry them.

''I simply cannot believe it,'' she said finally, not having uttered a single word since the revelation; it startled Lord Melbourne from his own thoughts and he turned towards her, raising his hand to her cheek, kissing her forehead with every ounce of love and devotion he could give.

''It will be ok, ma'am. I am sure everything is under control,'' he tried to reassure her, though he was at a loss as to what to expect himself.

Victoria closed her eyes as the cobblestone disappeared and the wheels began to crunch across the gravel driveway. Gingerly lifting the curtain back, she could just barely make out an eerie warm glow emanating from beyond the trees. ''Oh my God!'' she cried. Her body shook uncontrollably, unable to comprehend the sheer magnitude of the situation.

Buckingham Palace – her home – _on fire_!

Melbourne grabbed her hand as the orange glow intensified. The carriage pulled up well outside the palace gates. A footman raced over and practically ripped opened the door for them.

Victoria squirmed past Melbourne and bolted up the gravel pathway, past the other carriages, past all the people, towards the large group assembled on the lawn in varying states of dishevelment. They all wore the same bleak, pained expression.

She shook her head and ran beyond the people on the grass, tears streaming down her face. Between that and the acrid smoke permeating the crisp spring air, she almost couldn't see where she was going.

''Victoria!'' Melbourne shouted from behind, swiftly gaining on her.

She kept running as if she didn't hear him, until she abruptly halted, facing the palace head on.

Finally he caught her. ''No! No, no, NO!'' she yelled. He grabbed her flailing arms and pulled her firmly against his chest in a futile attempt to shield her from the horror. ''You can't... Please, William, just let me go!'' __

She began to sob hysterically, collapsing onto the gravel. He sunk down beside her, trying to comfort her as she clung to him in desperation. As if he alone could save her from this hell on earth.  
Lord Melbourne looked up and shuddered, closing his eyes briefly. His heart pounded relentlessly as he witnessed the tragedy unfold. It was just as the letter had stated. Only so much worse. __

The fire crew scrambled about haphazardly, great lengths of hose and ladders in tow. Smoke poured from every window, blackening the palace's limestone facade. The warmth of the blaze hit the couple even as they sat a considerable distance away, proving just how far the fire had spread in such a scant space of time. __

The Duchess was in all probability still inside the palace, since the fire crew had not yet been able to locate her. And given the ferocity of the flames, time was not on her side.

''She has to be ok,'' Victoria muttered, sapped of nearly all energy. ''They have to save her. They just have to...''

''Shhh. They are trying Victoria.'' He kissed the top of her head as he rocked her in his arms. 


End file.
